One day sometime soon I hope to recount the last 4 weeks. They have been tremendous weeks in so many different ways. Of course the birth of a child is monumental by itself but along with that special day there have been some rich lessons and memories that I hope I never forget. Some of them so syrupy-sweet and a few of them so low that I hope to never feel that way again. I always love looking back on past blogs or in a journal from years ago and seeing where God has brought me and how he has taught me something even in the midst of chaos or turmoil. So, for that reason - I do hope I find some time in between size 1 and size 4 diapers and sponge bathing and bubble baths to write down my sentiments from the last several weeks.
What I can say today is that I am so grateful. My heart is as full as my eyes are heavy and my mind is as at rest as my body is tired. I can certainly say that I am more grateful for a few little things that I may not have even recognized had the last few weeks not gone the way they had.
I am grateful to fall asleep on my own. Never before did I think I would be so giddy to have 2.5 hours of sleep at night but after walking through some unwanted late pregnancy and post-delivery insomnia I am truly thrilled to wake up at 1:11am to the sound of a crying newborn knowing that I had actually fallen asleep, without any medicine, even if for only 2.5 hours. This is still a battle I will fight for a little while I am sure. Every night I get a little anxious just thinking about falling asleep but each night since Sunday it has gotten a little easier and my mind is a little less occupied with what used to be so natural. I am so grateful for this small thing.
I am grateful for the clean laundry and the dishes that have been put away since our first day back from the hospital. Brad's precious mom is here now playing a 2nd mom to Brooks and doing anything and everything around the house. We are certainly being spoiled by all of her help and the help we had last week from Grandma-Nise. I know next week will be a harsh jump back into reality as I am sure the dishes and laundry will not even be thought about until we are truly out of underwear but this week I am just soaking up the help and the attention that Brooks is getting. This has been a feat in itself and another beautiful lesson learned over these past several weeks....to receive and accept the help that so many people are willing to offer without any guilt! I am so grateful for this small thing, too.....a clean house and a constant companion for Brooks.
These may have been small things to me before but these weeks have given me a whole new perspective and caused me to truly be grateful for blessings large and small. And because everyone likes a list - here are a few more.....
*My mushy yet not round tummy that I can lay on at night to sleep. It has not felt my bed sheets in two years and it is so happy to get to do so.
*A blue ribbon on my mailbox. Our house certainly hasn't felt like a house with a new arrival inside until the last few days as we hid out for a week and had few visitors. Now that the visitors are rolling around and there is a bow on the mailbox all seems normal and celebratory. Thank you.
*The lack of heart burn and constant acid reflux that had become my daily visitor
*Barney and Friends. I never thought I'd say that but the biggest brother has a new fixation and it gives the little brother and me time to eat breakfast
*A cold beer. I ordered my own last night at dinner. I don't know that I have ever ordered a beer at dinner but I think I will start. I felt so grown up and non-pregnant. Ahhhh.....
*The idea that fall is around the corner. Last night a sweet friend brought us a yummy soup for dinner and everything about it screamed fall. I don't care that it is still 90 degrees outside - I am so ready for football Saturdays (whether or not we experience them from our living room), cooler temperatures and the ability to get out with the boys in the middle of the day, and the return of some kind of normalcy to our daily routine. We are also planning to take our summer vacation this fall to Seaside and I am so ready!
*A shower. I am about to shower and I can't tell you how good it is to see my toes. This time around I don't miss one bit the kicks and the hiccups and the feel of a pregnant belly. I LOVE seeing my toes and bending over in the shower to pick up the soap! It's truly the little things and I am so glad that these last weeks have given me a whole new appreciation for those little things.
Beg God for the Miracle of Humility
3 hours ago