Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A blurb

I've written many blogs in my head this past week as lay awake in bed at night, again, unable to sleep. They each have different themes and would each paint a very different picture of the week. So, below I'll give them all to you in one big blurb. That is how this season of life seems to be anyway....a blob of alot of happy memories and sweet moments mixed with some very trying situations, and a huge lack of sleep (for me atleast). Tonight as Brad and I were driving home with the boys from Nene and Big's house we passed by the brilliantly decorated houses in our neighborhood (you know...moving deer and inflatable snow globe type "brilliant")Brooks exclaimed "pre=eeYights" as he has done all season long and you would think Christmas was just around the corner.! In unison, Brad and I both agreed that we are ready for those "pre-eYights"to come down and ready for the New Year and a fresh start....It's just been that kind of week....the one that makes you beg for a fresh new start but because of this past week I am even more grateful for Christmas - the gift of a Savior to make all that is wrong "right"...that is just what we have needed.

The late-December Blurb

I wonder how it feels to go to sleep like a normal person. Where is my camera to capture the toddler as he repeats the name of everyone he has ever met on the stairs at night before bed? What might be hiding under Willliam's 4th chin? Are my hormones - that have been cookoo for 2.5 years now- ever going to be regular again and in turn allow me to s-l-e-e-p? Christmas is so much more fun when watching a little man meticulously open his presents making sure every inch of wrapping is off of the box. How grateful I am to have a husband that plays an active part in parenting and does so much for me without even asking. I understand grace so much more after becoming a mother. It doesn't get any better than snow on Christmas day! Can I keep eating Christmas cookies 5 days after Christmas? If I stay away from the mall I never know what I don't really need. I am so grateful for grandma's. What would you do at night if you weren't able to fall asleep (I need some new suggestions)? A day spent cleaning out and organizing is so invaluable....what a rejuvenating feeling! Why didn't our Christmas tree smell as good as it did last year? Hearing Brooks tell his South Georgia grandad "bye" all on his own is worth every ounce of stress that this Christmas may have created. I love my mama's turkey and dressing and green beans. And lastly, I finally understand why people think the holidays are hectic...as fun as this Christmas was with our sweet little ones there was definitely unnecessary strife just trying to get out the door and make it to the various Holiday events. Sweet Jesus, I pray that we can fully accept the real gift on Christmas - that you came to make everything that is broken whole again. That is the thought I want to start the new year.

Joy to the World!

(And a Christmas recap in pictures coming soon!)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Just a few days until Christmas

and I am counting down the minutes until Brad is home to help with the daytime diapers, dirty laundry, and tired children relax with us over our first Christmas as a family of four! Hurry home, Mr.Hotshot, we can't wait to see you! (For real. We really can't wait....Brooks has been looking out the window all morning saying "dada" with a look of concern.)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Black hole

As the mom-sandwich walked out to the parking garage from the gym this morning a seemingly sweet woman admired the two little boys and then asked me the question that 9 out of 10 people ask me each day. "How many months apart are they?" Usually when this question is asked it is because the asker has had two or more children who were close together in age as well. I do the same thing when I see other insane mom's and dad's out with two little-little ones - just hoping for a little sense of relief that I am not alone. This woman had two grown children who are 19 months apart and she commented that they are best of friends. Now. Implying.....they weren't for a long while. And then she walked away saying, "You'll come out of the black hole in about two years. Just hold on."I thanked her for the advise and went on our merry way to the Pediatrician office. Luckily both of the tired boys fell asleep in the car on the way there so rather than being 20 minutes early as I have recently began doing just because I give myself plenty of room for ruined clothing, projectile spit-ups, and morning-blow-up-diapers, I decided to just sit in the car and soak up every second of the quiet and warmth of my car.
Of course my mind started racing as that is what happens when there is actually calm in my midst. Along with thoughts about finishing my Christmas shopping and finding the 2 credit cards that I have somehow misplaced in the last 3 days, and needing to send out my last 20 Christmas cards that I have yet to address were thoughts about this apparent "black hole" that I am in but wasn't even aware. Don't get me wrong - there are some really really low moments where I want to go hide in the dark crawl space below the house and not come up until summer. Truly, though, most of the time my spirits are far higher than what they should be for having 100% of my "me" time along with any thought of consistent sleep stripped from me 4 short months ago. So I sat in my car today just very grateful. I am grateful for the patience that has been injected into my veins like an i.v. as it certainly does not come naturally. Somehow when Brooks uses the most blood curdling whine in America to try to get something he wants I am able to ask him to speak to me in a normal voice. He usually then just takes the whine up a notch but I am then again ask him to please stop whining and then I will listen to him. If you don't know what I am talking about I'll email you a short video of just 3 seconds of the most irritating-annoying-horrific sound you've ever heard. I think if it weren't for whining I would have 9 kids, seriously, it's that bad. Anyway, luckily, in the past 4 months I have been gifted the virtue of patience - right when I needed it most. More so, I have learned how to have grace towards myself and the other sweet person named my husband. You see, along with my racing thoughts are these incessant, heavy thoughts that are always there - just knocking at my soul begging for some attention. Usually, I just push them a little farther back behind the "survival list" for the day so can really spend some time on them later. But many of these thoughts are tough things like where should we plant our roots? Or have we already planted our roots and now we need to just be okay in a small house in a neighborhood we love? Or will I ever get my pilates certification like I would love to do and have the free time to put it to use? Or how in the world will Brad and I ever be able to nurture our marriage if we can barely afford babysitting in order to be alone? These rich, gooey questions deserve a discovery retreat in the woods or something but seeing as how that is not in the near future I just give myself a little grace...and then a little more...and then a little more. I tell myself and Brad daily that this is just a phase and that this, too, will pass, so in the mean time all of the big stuff can wait. I know from the outside we look like we have things down but on the inside we are truly just surviving right now - and this is enough for us. We are grateful for even the small stints of quiet we have these days....like when Brooks spends 10 minutes lining his shoes up at the bottom of the stairs. The activity may create more mess but it lends us 10 minutes of peace - we'll take it!

Even though I am able to give myself plenty of grace these days - I wonder? Do the people around me? This weekend some of our favorite friends stopped by after their breakfast out. It was a rainy, cold, lazy Saturday after a too-late Friday night out. There was literally a wet opened diaper on the floor, dishes stacked beyond their limits, pajamas on inside out, toys everywhere, broken tree ornaments on the floor and anything else that should have been in a spot was out and scattered on the floor and on the furniture of our teeny (but cozy) house. We chatted and watched the boys who are only 6 weeks apart play and mess with each other and then they left to enjoy the rest of the Saturday. We shut the door and both agreed to never ever ever let our house get to the point it had that morning. We would never want our friends or family to not want to come around because of the tornado that seems to take over on the weekends. Even though we made this vow to ourselves I know for sure that these kind of friends don't care at all. In fact, they are about to have two little ones very close together and Brad said, "they'll understand very soon." Thank you, friends, for loving us just the way we are right now...in shambles but atleast smiling.

But what about our family? Yesterday we showed up 20 minutes late for my family's annual Christmas reunion. We were delighted with ourselves but we seemed to make a few people a little perturbed at our lack of promptness. The fact that everyone in our family had bathed and gone to church and actually had clean clothes on was enough for us. Plus, we didn't think we would even be noticed among the 70+ people in attendance! Maybe next year we'll make it on time and have a homemade salad rather than one I put together in the car....
But even worse, we have yet to even get the littlest boy down to South Georgia to meet Brad's extended family. We'll be making our first trip on Christmas day and though we wouldn't miss it for the world - we know that taking the two boys out of town makes for two tiring parents. We sure are grateful that South Georgia has sent a whole bunch of that grace to us over the last three action-packed years! We look forward to the calm that we hear about that we'll start to experience sometime next year and then we really hope to get the boys down to the "woods" quiet often.

So I guess this is just a little reminder to ourselves and our quite understanding friends and family - that we may be dirty. We may forget your birthday. We may completely miss a date that is on our calendar. We may not match. And our eyes may be puffy but I promise we will only be in this hole for a little while. Luckily, because this is all we know - we don't even see ourselves as being in that black hole that the woman spoke of today. This is just our normal! Thank you for baring with us while we figure things out.....and mess up alot along the way!
***
Among the three Christmas parties we attended this weekend and the welcomed-chaos of the season - we did manage to get a few still shots of the boys together. Let's just say - these pictures don't do the whole moment justice. If only I could know sweet William's thoughts.....





Friday, December 17, 2010

lunch

Lunch time has always been my favorite part of the day. In high school I loved to sit outside in the amphitheater and eat my turkey sandwich and pretzels. Every single day I ate the same thing and every single day it made me just as happy as the day before. A turkey sandwich is always better if your mama makes it, right? This was such a perfect break from the concrete walls and class bells. I loved my lunch crew and loved the conversations that would always arise. Oh...the dreams and stresses of a high schooler.....so silly yet so big!

I moved to Athens and though my lunches looked different than my usual Boards Head turkey sandwich - the pleasure was all the same. My freshman year my soul mate, Charlsie, would pick me up in her "mom" Mercedes and if it wasn't her it was someone driving her car. Somehow her car became the lunch time taxi to Bolton Hall and then our sophomore year and beyond it would tote us home to the Theta house or to Windsor for lunch after morning classes. The songs that were sung on the way to lunch coupled with some of the more funny conversations I've ever witnessed caused me to love the lunching hour all the more. Atleast twice a week we would ditch our already paid for meal plans and hit down town Athens for a lunch outside on a perfect fall or Spring Athens day.

And just when I thought lunch time had ended....it only got better! Who wouldn't agree that when you are working a 9-5 or in my case a 7-7 job, lunch is the saving grace for the day? By 9:20 most mornings I was dreaming up how far I could go to get lunch and make it back to work without looking like I'd abused my lunch time privileges. What a treat to get to meet an old friend in the middle of a work day or on a rare occasion drink a glass of wine over a long "business" lunch. Oh, and how about the thrill of meeting your new husband during those first years of marriage for a lunch time date at Taqueria Del Sol or Houstons? There's nothing better than lunch time flirting with your favorite roommate!

Then I had a child. At first I thought that my favorite part of the day would forever be exchanged for mashed food and Dora the Explorer. And it wasn't. Seriously, mommy friends with only one child hear me out - lunch time for a little while is really really fun! I mean, if your child is cute which I haven't seen a 1 year old that wasn't - the attention you can gather at a lunch time outing is enough to make you want to go home and make more cute humans! I loved my lunch dates with little Brooks. We would sit in the sun at our favorite places and watch the business folk and soccer moms shuffle in and out the doors. I seriously loved my favorite time of the day with my favorite person. . . until now.

Unfortunately, lunch time is no longer a happy word in my head. It conjures up images of flying chicken nuggets and carpet with ketchup on it along with kicking legs and flailing arms. Pleasant, huh? Today I had a very awful few minutes of real jealousy. I was recalling my husbands account of the day ahead this morning. "I'm meeting a client at the 191 building down town for a meeting and then lunch." He looked quite dapper and I could tell he was feeling quite confident. As I sat around the food-smeared antique table in our kitchen with smashed banana in my hair I couldn't help but thinking about the "messy lunch" that I was sure my husband was having at a fancy building downtown. Yes, for a few seconds I am having my own pity party. Let me. You see, last week the once sweet child attempted to throw every item from the table at Willy's for no apparent reason and because you are thinking - "Why did you let him?" I will tell you that I didn't but trying to stop him only resulted in more commotion so the whole lunch ended in all around tears. Nice....just like the old days! Anyway, lunch time has now become the most stressful hour of the day....everyone is tired and hungry and there are too many babies and not enough of me to try to make the whole experience more enjoyable. More so, I can't remember the last real meal I have actually finished at lunch. Today I think I ate 3 bites of leftover waffle from breakfast with a piece of turkey and a half of a clementine. Yummy. Ad that was a good day!

Ok, back to my non-whiny self because I know that these are just my "dues" for now. I know in a few years when the kids are eating cafeteria lunch and the house is quiet during the day I will miss those fun days of watching Brooks line up his hotdog pieces over and over only to eat one bite and then smear ketchup in his hair. Actually, wait, I won't miss that one bit! Hopefully, Ill be sitting back at my favorite Cafe at Pharr or Souper Jenny with my non-kiddy-scratched sunglasses looking oh-so-fly sipping on my ice tea and just loving that lunch time is all mine again!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

4 months old and "Shanty"

We just got home from an exhausting exciting morning at Phipps to see the real "Shanty." Surprisingly, I don't have any tremendous stories about how horrific Brooks was to the bearded man. We have talked up Santa alot this month so I don't know if that is what caused the tornado-of-a-child to actually sit still or if it was Santa's cozy lap. Brooks loves to clim up in anyone's lap who will let him so I think he was quite content having the undivided attention of Santa. Trust me - I am shocked....as 3 minutes prior he was running circles around the Jaguar on display. You see, every step he takes in his saddle oxfords is just a little more fuel for the fire - he loves the sound his "big boy" shoes make on the tile floors at the mall. After running circles around the Santa display while we were waiting on Nene to arrive he decided to hang - literally - from the ropes surrounding Santa's chair. Then after than he decided he wanted to be upside down and no way but upside down would do. Needless to say, I am glad he wore out all his little energy right before his turn to meet Santa. He did stroke his beard once and I think he thought Santa was going to read him a book when he started to go over his Christmas list. All in all, our first trip to meet Shanty was a flying success but only because I had 3 other helpers to make the whole event happen. And just in case Santa lost his list - here it goes. Classic.
1)Train
2)Book
3)Ball
4)Waffle
Causing a fuss waiting in line for Santa.



As if a rainy, cold day at the mall with candy canes and crazy boys wasn't enough - today is also a big day because it is Willy-B's 4 month birthday! I seriously can not believe the little guy has 4 months under his belt. This last month has been fun with William as he has started to have a little voice - but only when he is just tired of his big brother getting all of the attention. More so, he has found his fist. No, not his thumb - the boy needs a fist! I have no clue what he weighs or what he wears because he lives in pj's and a bib - thanks to his endless spitting up and slobbering. Whatever the stats are I don't care - I love this little boy so very much. He is easy, agreeable, adaptable, tough as he can be because he has to be, goofy and just a perfect addition to our family. He is mesmorized by his brother and visa versa - thank goodness, as it gives me a 10 minute break each day when they have a little "play" time. Happy 4 months, little chunker! We are so grateful you are in our family!




ANd just in case there is any debate that the two goobers look alike - here is Brooks at 4 months. Yes, they came from the same genepool. Crazy!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The little green elf

No, I haven't seen him....I need him immediatly! Last night I needed him to rub my shoulders as I sat on the sofa feeling the weight of the day. Today I need him to pick up the pine needles from our already dead Christmas tree and throw them away. Then I need him to wash the cabinets and walls in this house as they seem to have milk droplets from B's sippy cup all over them along with an occassional ketchup smear as that is the only way to get the same milk-spilling child to eat anything not starting in "wa" and ending in"ffle".

I know he has been in the house as I found the most amusing scene this morning. You see, Brad and I are crazy about Christmas around here. We love it all...the smells, the sounds, the tastes, and with little people around I can attest that it is all the more entertaining. Brooks doesn't look at the porch light without exclaiming "yiiites" as he is completely entranced by the Christmas lights on the tree and the ones adorning our neighbors house. More so, he seems to have a little man crush on the big guy with the white beard. We'll see what he really thinks tomorrow when he meets the real Santa but from afar - this guy is smitten with "Shanta." Needless to say, I love pulling out our few decorations that we have collected over the last few years of marriage. One of my favorite things is the advent tree - compliments of Starbucks our first Christmas.Each box was filled with a delectable chocolate at the time and it was a race to see who got to turn the box around each given day during our first few years of marriage. This year the boxes are filled with the creamiest peppermint patties I've ever witnessed (and I know a good peppermint patty). So, this morning I go to turn the 14'th box around for the 14th day of December and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a note - and no candy to bring me some cheer
I know my husband would never have done this...stolen the piece of candy before the actual day! But more so, it's not like him to leave a note admitting his wrong doing. No, he is much to sly for that. So, I have concluded that it was the little green elf. It must have been! Brooks can't reach the counters yet - and luckily because then I'll have another hand to contend with in order to enjoy my peppermint patty everyday. And, William, while he looks like he eats chocolate in a bottle everyday I know he had nothing to do with this little "candy gone missing." When I find that little green elf I am going to have my way with him! He has been stirring up things around our house ever since the calendar proclaimed "December" and I am to tired to clean up anyone else's messes or to take care of anything else.

Enough about the little elf. Let's all ooh and ahh over the toddler now. Seriously, I think children this age are equal parts adorable and horrific. Listening to the toddler try to talk goes in the absolutely adorable category and because he is sleeping as I type - we won't touch on the horrific category. Enjoy some adorable this Christmas season....
video
{Pardon the technical difficulties. For some reason the little green elf has my video turned sideways!}

Monday, December 13, 2010

We love this time of year

Cousin Eddie-William
We like to color Christmas trees and watch the snow fall.
Beyond this picture there were two boys napping, snow flakes falling, soup simmering, and Pandora singing merrily from the speakers. Ahhhh....
Our first attempt at Santa was a "mock" visit before we see the real Santa with Nene on Thursday. Brooks did pretty well and now that he knows that Santa gives candy canes I think he'll enjoy it even more on Thursday!
Candycane bliss...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

So encouraging today

My dear friend posted this on her blog last week and then another friend reposted and here I am posting again. You have to know it's worth the read if I'm willing to detour from my usual ramblings of kid craziness. Thank you, Keri.

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stsares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, “Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Oh no she didn't

Wanted: Middle-aged, brassy-haired woman in mommy jeans (but she obviously wasn't a mommy) and a horrific Christmas sweater. She is located somewhere inside the Perimeter I assume and if found you don't even have to turn her in. Just throw an egg at her and steal her parking lot and tell her that is from her "friend" at Publix.

I spent half the morning yesterday bundling the little boys to face the frigid temperatures outside. We layered and gloved and hatted everyone and then even changed my clothes from pajamas. It took me 15 minutes just to get their things together to even walk out to door and then just as I was about to load up the eldest bundled child threw himself on the hardwoods repeating "ah, ah, ah" which in toddler talk is OFF! I normally wouldn't have let this little fit get to me but I was ready to get out the door and I thought I'd play the parenting game that many often play which goes something like "fine, have your way and see how that works for you (in the 24 degree weather)". So, one layer of clothing comes off along with the hat and gloves. Mind you, he still has two layers and he proved me wrong as the whole morning he didn't care a bit that it was a little chilly.

Skip to yesterday afternoon. I, again, spent 30 minutes gathering all of their "things" to get out the door so I could actually buy some toilet paper for my house guest last night. I mean, paper towels are okay for me in dire situations but not for the house guest. Before I had kids I never noticed the obnoxious themed grocery carts that toted kids around the store but now I am the obnoxious lady with the obtrusive grocery cart full of kids and usually very few groceries. Yesterday's trip was as quick as can be but it was long enough to push the same kicking toddler from earlier to his limits. By the last aisle he was chucking groceries on top of his helpless brother who was sitting in the infant carrier in the basket part of the buggy. It was all I could do to get out of the store without him throwing every grocery item out of the cart and just as I was awkwardly flying out of the store in the "airplane" for a grocery cart (which there is nothing not-awkward and bulky about those things) this lady (the one from above) sent my blood pressure soaring. First, she looked at me as I was going through the sliding doors like I had pink hair and no clothes on. It's just children, lady.....and didn't your mama always tell you to not make such a nasty face or your face might stay like that!And then, as I passed her through the doors she went there. "Those kids need some more clothing on in this weather!" (My blood pressure just shot up again)

I'm just going to end there. I can't possibly write the thoughts that went through my head and the things I wanted to say. They were so bad. Luckily, I took the high road but I haven't forgotten this woman. Beware, oh-highwatered, highwaisted, mommy jean wearing, mean lady, you are not nice.

For the love.....

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Remember, Betsy, Monday was reeealllly hard!

Call the press or atleast call the doctor. I need drugs right after I say what I want to say and right after I have these words written down for proof later that they were said on one looney Tuesday.

"I actually want to have more children."

My still-stretched belly just jumped at hearing that statement and my left hand just slapped my right hand and then covered my mouth. My body may not be in agreement yet but my spirits are feeling a little baby-fever! You see, the baby is three months, going on 4 months next week and, overall, things aren't so bad. I wouldn't dare say they are easy because I might lose my nightly back rubs from my husband and occassional offers to help from my mother. Really, though, things are very manageable as long as I plan out our days and concede that I most likely will not get to shower or work out - things I used to do daily - oh, or eat - but I will be able to get out and see other crazy (or stupid) women like me with a whole bunch of kids and only two arms.

Right now both boys are sleeping from 7:30 at night until atleast 7:30 in the morning which has given Brad and I our nights back. We had been waiting months for this day to come and we dreamt about all of the amazing conversation we would have at night when it would be just the two of us. (Cue music) We thought we would plan and pray and laugh and tell stories but as you could imagine, we are so worn out by 7pm that there are rarely more than 10 words spoken from 7-10pm much less any life-changing conversation. But because we have this new found "freedom" at night and because many of the moms I see on a daily basis have 3 or even 4 kids to their pack my little heart starts seeing blue and pink. Does that make me craaaazay? Probably.

Someone please come bring me the brattiest child you own on their worst day...quickly! I need to nip this little super-woman feeling I'm having in the bud before the feeling grows. Remind me too that I am still not out of my fat pants and then make me go kiss my sleeping babies and thank them for giving me just enough margin to make me think we could do this again. Then remind me how exhausting Monday was and how cool it is that I always have a baby on my lap when I go to the restroom! But come quick....my confidence is growing by the minute....

Friday, December 3, 2010

What you do when no one is watching

Or you think no one is watching.....

Yesterday was the mother of all perfect days. How could it have been that everything that could have gone right yesterday went just that way. I awoke to two, happy, well-rested babies and a pot of coffee brewing that Big Daddy Warbucks had made for me. I somehow got a curl or two in my hair and was out the door to Brooks' Gymboree class in plenty of time. That is truly the first "on time' I have had since August....making progress!

{PS...I HATE my voice on camera. I am sorry if I really sound like that...I'm afraid I do. I want to grow a sweet voice so when I look back at home videos later I will have thunk I was one of those super-sweet moms.)
After play time, we made a "necessary" trip to Target and if anything spells a perfect day it is T-A-R-G-E-T. After our morning of activity we headed home for synchronized naps. Can I get an Amen? Then I had a last minute sitter come to the house so I could have an hour to myself in the car to get a few things done. This was the first climax of the perfect day......me plus my car plus Katy Perry plus no babies in the back seat. I may or may not have recorded myself as I enjoyed my "Teenage Dream" moment all by myself. For you friends and followers that have been reading for a while - you know my litmus test for my own happiness. If I can enjoy a good song and freely dance in the car or in a store or in my house then you know my heart is at peace. Well, yesterday, I thought I was enjoying my moment all to myself when I saw 3 cars waiting at the stop light with me on Briarcliff just in awe of the amount of motion that could go on in the drivers seat. I was tempted to yell out the window with my super cool shades on...."The kids are home napping and I am alllllll alone! Wooo hoo!" I had already put my name to shame with my horrific dance moves so I kept my window up and kept on dancing!

Anyway, for those 3 minutes in the car I forgot I had babies or a dog or any responsibility for that matter and I was instantly transported to my college days driving down Milledge in my favorite friend's mini-taxi with our windows down blaring songs that seemed fitting for that season. Oh, Katy Perry, you are a gift to 30-something's everywhere! I love a tune that can truly make me lose all sense of time and appropriateness!

So after I got home from my joy ride I walked in the door to two STILL sleeping children! I don't know if this makes me happy or sad. The one day I have a day time babysitter and the kidaroos sleep for 3 hours! They have NEVER done this when I am home! (And they aren't doing it now.) I then took the happily rested babies to the gym for a little mini-workout and once again I ran my little heart out to Katy Perry's Pandora radio station. Can I get another Amen? How fabulous is Pandora? That is a whole different post for a different day but I sure do love Pandora!

To top off the most perfect day ever Brad came home early so I could actually shower and get ready for a night out to celebrate one of my dearest friends' 2nd baby on the way. Oh, and I made the big man some crock pot chili AND we received our first Christmas card and I LOVE this season because I love always having cards in the mailbox.

So, yes, I am boasting today. I know it isn't always right to boast but as the days are pretty high or pretty low over here I think I need to harp on the high days! And since I am boasting I should add that the boys and I received three...count them...three....comments from fellow Gymboree-moms that we "had it together for having to get so many people out the door." One angel of a lady even said that we made having two babies look like a breeze! I can't tell you what little compliments like this do for me! Thank you sweet lady (with the crazy screaming kid)....you truly made this crazy mom's day even more perfect!

{For a certain amount of begging I may actually post this real live video taken of my freedom in my car. I'd hate to not show you and maybe miss my shot at being the next Youtube-phenom....Start your begging now.}

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Polly want a cracker?

We used to have a tweety bird named "Sunshine" when we were living in cloudy-Ohio. Yes, I lived in Ohio for a very short stint before I started grade school. I remember us always trying to make the bird talk to us because that is what I thought birds did. It was a sad, cold day the day that the tweety bird flew off to the heavens while my mom and I were cleaning out her cage.

What does that have to do with my life with two children and a bearded-husband, you might ask? Nothing, really, except for I now have my very own tweety bird minus the feathers.

What happens in the brains and bodies of 18 month olds to turn them in to little Mr. Simon Says? Whatever it is - it has taken over the once shy, reserved personality of our newly turned 18 month old.

Today I went to pick him up from his three hours of play school (aka - my time to do all 30 things on my list that never seems to shrink) and his dear teacher, Mrs. Stacey, exclaims that Brooks was "chatty-Cathy" today. "He was just talking up a storm today...having conversations with the stuffed animals, the other kids, and himself in the mirror!" While I love that the little man was providing the best entertainment for his class today - it does make me beg the question? What happened? Seriously, in the last 3 days the little-mister seems to have taken on a whole new personality....making p his own games, chasing us around the house, repeating 95% of what we say and looking at us with his big, proud eyes just waiting for our accolades.

I think it needs to go on record that I have thoroughly enjoyed the boys this week (well, after our horrific Monday morning). For some reason this week I actually feel like their mommy. It is so easy to just feel like a nanny to these two boys each day....making sure they are fed and clean and rested but something feels so good when I actually feel like I do have the ability to shape these little people. As I have watched Brooks grow into a little boy in the blink of an eye this week I have seen just a glimpse of the reaping and sowing principle. It's hard to understand that there every may be any internal reward for all of the selfless hours involved in being a parent but luckily, this week, I have had a few of those "aha" moments where the work of the long days seems to actually have some future benefit. And that is the benefit of feeling so valued and so needed in the life of a child.

Thank you, little boys. (Obviously, you caught me when they are both napping and the Christmas carols are filling the air along with the perfect smell of the Christmas tree. The little guys are stirring now and as you know all of these blissful feelings could change in an instant....)

We've had quite a few new "activities" to explore this week...including a little body painting which then turned into finger painting - though it was supposed to be the other way around and some "pop pop" which involves jumping off the table onto the couch! Oh the non-stop life of a curious little boy....