We have the January-funk. Or by "we" I mean "me." The boys have traces of the awful sickness. Their sweet baby fine bangs are covering their eyes out of neglect, their clothes go on a 3 day rotation with a rare washing, they start finding crumbs and pony tail holders and kitchen tongs to use for toys, and they actually get tired of boxed mac and cheese. For me it's much more severe. I get stuck in the January rut and I just can't fathom that the sun will ever stay out for longer than 2 hours, and Christmas just seems so darned far away, and, I, too, go on more like a 2 outfit rotation and may even have been known to just turn some pants inside out to wear two days in a row. Eww. Things just start to get stale and by things I dont just mean food and hair but like my ambition and my optimism. Are you still here? You are a true friend because who wants to read about a whiney stay at home mom with major first world problems? Not me!
So in light of my church getting a hold of my icky little heart this weekend. I have decided to push out all of these cobwebs with worship. And by worship I mean this:
Worship is our response both personal and corporate to God for who He is and what He has done expressed in and by the things we say and the way we live. -Louie Giglio, Passion City Church
Further, he said, "There is a direct connection between our appreciation for grace and my expression of worship."
Ouch. My tummy just turned retyping that from my notes. Judging by the way I am living this week my worship is pretty pathetic which just means my gratitude for what has been done in my life and on my behalf is non-existent. This morning I woke up with this funk that I thought surely would have shaken by now but it was just there.....lingering powerfully over me. I decided to do what a wise man (thank you, Jeff Henderson) taught me to do a few years ago in looking at my "pillars of faith" to see Gods hand in my life but also to know He has worked and is working all the time.....even if the January's feel like they're winning. If I can better see what God has done for me not just in the circumstances of my life but in what He did for me on the cross then wouldn't my worship explode! I'm not just talking singing and going crazy in church (though that's surely a byproduct) as you may think but like the definition states....worship in the WAY I LIVE.
So, here are some pillars in order to turn the cloud over our home into a place of genuine gratitude and beautiful worship.
1)Brad. The one that gets me without any words and even at my worst. Worth the wait. Period. Thank you, God, the ultimate Romancer.
2)Sleep, sweet sleep. I'm kinda eerie when it comes to making notes on how this body of mine is doing. My apple calendar at home is full of every workout I may have ever done, every sickness I've ever even started to catch, every doctor's appointment I've had, and every pregnancy fact I never thought I would care about. When I look back at the calendar for 2011 it is stocked full of pain. Looking back I see that this "note keeping" only fueled the process. 9 out of 10 days were full of notes about how many hours I slept, how much ambien, melatonin or drug of the week I took that night, and any physical symptoms I was feeling along side of the severe exhaustion. Until recently I couldnt even look back at those long months and heavy days but as the months of better sleep add up and I get farther and farther away from that monster I am more able to look at the whole thing objectively. And goodness is God's hand all over that year! While the January-itis is heavy it doesnt stop me from thanking God every single morning for even an interrupted 5.5 hours of sleep. We have come a looooong way, baby! Thank you, my Redeemer and Healer.
3)Three energetic, edible little boys that always can get a smile out of me and a good belly laugh even on the worst of days. Each one of them has their own gifts they bring to our family make-up. The oldest boy makes me believe in love and all things good on this earth with his huge heart. The middle boy keeps us young and on our toes at all times. ANd the little guy, oh boy, he doesn't move yet but he just makes me relaxed. He is the one that set our house into pace of life that I love....much slower and less cluttered than without him. What a number these little people have done on my faith. What a walking display of Gods hand they are for me and Brad. Thank you, Creator of life.
4) And last but most importantly, the cross. This is by far the pillar on which all of the other ones stand. It is radical grace that God came all the way to me when I couldn't in my own effort get to Him. Thank you, Savior of the world.
And here are some pictures that surely turn my lemons into lemonade.
What are your pillars of faith? What can you look back on and know for certain that God was at work in your life?
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