We love this time of year

Cousin Eddie-William
We like to color Christmas trees and watch the snow fall.
Beyond this picture there were two boys napping, snow flakes falling, soup simmering, and Pandora singing merrily from the speakers. Ahhhh....
Our first attempt at Santa was a "mock" visit before we see the real Santa with Nene on Thursday. Brooks did pretty well and now that he knows that Santa gives candy canes I think he'll enjoy it even more on Thursday!
Candycane bliss...

So encouraging today

My dear friend posted this on her blog last week and then another friend reposted and here I am posting again. You have to know it's worth the read if I'm willing to detour from my usual ramblings of kid craziness. Thank you, Keri.

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stsares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, “Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Oh no she didn't

Wanted: Middle-aged, brassy-haired woman in mommy jeans (but she obviously wasn't a mommy) and a horrific Christmas sweater. She is located somewhere inside the Perimeter I assume and if found you don't even have to turn her in. Just throw an egg at her and steal her parking lot and tell her that is from her "friend" at Publix.

I spent half the morning yesterday bundling the little boys to face the frigid temperatures outside. We layered and gloved and hatted everyone and then even changed my clothes from pajamas. It took me 15 minutes just to get their things together to even walk out to door and then just as I was about to load up the eldest bundled child threw himself on the hardwoods repeating "ah, ah, ah" which in toddler talk is OFF! I normally wouldn't have let this little fit get to me but I was ready to get out the door and I thought I'd play the parenting game that many often play which goes something like "fine, have your way and see how that works for you (in the 24 degree weather)". So, one layer of clothing comes off along with the hat and gloves. Mind you, he still has two layers and he proved me wrong as the whole morning he didn't care a bit that it was a little chilly.

Skip to yesterday afternoon. I, again, spent 30 minutes gathering all of their "things" to get out the door so I could actually buy some toilet paper for my house guest last night. I mean, paper towels are okay for me in dire situations but not for the house guest. Before I had kids I never noticed the obnoxious themed grocery carts that toted kids around the store but now I am the obnoxious lady with the obtrusive grocery cart full of kids and usually very few groceries. Yesterday's trip was as quick as can be but it was long enough to push the same kicking toddler from earlier to his limits. By the last aisle he was chucking groceries on top of his helpless brother who was sitting in the infant carrier in the basket part of the buggy. It was all I could do to get out of the store without him throwing every grocery item out of the cart and just as I was awkwardly flying out of the store in the "airplane" for a grocery cart (which there is nothing not-awkward and bulky about those things) this lady (the one from above) sent my blood pressure soaring. First, she looked at me as I was going through the sliding doors like I had pink hair and no clothes on. It's just children, lady.....and didn't your mama always tell you to not make such a nasty face or your face might stay like that!And then, as I passed her through the doors she went there. "Those kids need some more clothing on in this weather!" (My blood pressure just shot up again)

I'm just going to end there. I can't possibly write the thoughts that went through my head and the things I wanted to say. They were so bad. Luckily, I took the high road but I haven't forgotten this woman. Beware, oh-highwatered, highwaisted, mommy jean wearing, mean lady, you are not nice.

For the love.....

Remember, Betsy, Monday was reeealllly hard!

Call the press or atleast call the doctor. I need drugs right after I say what I want to say and right after I have these words written down for proof later that they were said on one looney Tuesday.

"I actually want to have more children."

My still-stretched belly just jumped at hearing that statement and my left hand just slapped my right hand and then covered my mouth. My body may not be in agreement yet but my spirits are feeling a little baby-fever! You see, the baby is three months, going on 4 months next week and, overall, things aren't so bad. I wouldn't dare say they are easy because I might lose my nightly back rubs from my husband and occassional offers to help from my mother. Really, though, things are very manageable as long as I plan out our days and concede that I most likely will not get to shower or work out - things I used to do daily - oh, or eat - but I will be able to get out and see other crazy (or stupid) women like me with a whole bunch of kids and only two arms.

Right now both boys are sleeping from 7:30 at night until atleast 7:30 in the morning which has given Brad and I our nights back. We had been waiting months for this day to come and we dreamt about all of the amazing conversation we would have at night when it would be just the two of us. (Cue music) We thought we would plan and pray and laugh and tell stories but as you could imagine, we are so worn out by 7pm that there are rarely more than 10 words spoken from 7-10pm much less any life-changing conversation. But because we have this new found "freedom" at night and because many of the moms I see on a daily basis have 3 or even 4 kids to their pack my little heart starts seeing blue and pink. Does that make me craaaazay? Probably.

Someone please come bring me the brattiest child you own on their worst day...quickly! I need to nip this little super-woman feeling I'm having in the bud before the feeling grows. Remind me too that I am still not out of my fat pants and then make me go kiss my sleeping babies and thank them for giving me just enough margin to make me think we could do this again. Then remind me how exhausting Monday was and how cool it is that I always have a baby on my lap when I go to the restroom! But come quick....my confidence is growing by the minute....

What you do when no one is watching

Or you think no one is watching.....

Yesterday was the mother of all perfect days. How could it have been that everything that could have gone right yesterday went just that way. I awoke to two, happy, well-rested babies and a pot of coffee brewing that Big Daddy Warbucks had made for me. I somehow got a curl or two in my hair and was out the door to Brooks' Gymboree class in plenty of time. That is truly the first "on time' I have had since August....making progress!

{PS...I HATE my voice on camera. I am sorry if I really sound like that...I'm afraid I do. I want to grow a sweet voice so when I look back at home videos later I will have thunk I was one of those super-sweet moms.)
After play time, we made a "necessary" trip to Target and if anything spells a perfect day it is T-A-R-G-E-T. After our morning of activity we headed home for synchronized naps. Can I get an Amen? Then I had a last minute sitter come to the house so I could have an hour to myself in the car to get a few things done. This was the first climax of the perfect day......me plus my car plus Katy Perry plus no babies in the back seat. I may or may not have recorded myself as I enjoyed my "Teenage Dream" moment all by myself. For you friends and followers that have been reading for a while - you know my litmus test for my own happiness. If I can enjoy a good song and freely dance in the car or in a store or in my house then you know my heart is at peace. Well, yesterday, I thought I was enjoying my moment all to myself when I saw 3 cars waiting at the stop light with me on Briarcliff just in awe of the amount of motion that could go on in the drivers seat. I was tempted to yell out the window with my super cool shades on...."The kids are home napping and I am alllllll alone! Wooo hoo!" I had already put my name to shame with my horrific dance moves so I kept my window up and kept on dancing!

Anyway, for those 3 minutes in the car I forgot I had babies or a dog or any responsibility for that matter and I was instantly transported to my college days driving down Milledge in my favorite friend's mini-taxi with our windows down blaring songs that seemed fitting for that season. Oh, Katy Perry, you are a gift to 30-something's everywhere! I love a tune that can truly make me lose all sense of time and appropriateness!

So after I got home from my joy ride I walked in the door to two STILL sleeping children! I don't know if this makes me happy or sad. The one day I have a day time babysitter and the kidaroos sleep for 3 hours! They have NEVER done this when I am home! (And they aren't doing it now.) I then took the happily rested babies to the gym for a little mini-workout and once again I ran my little heart out to Katy Perry's Pandora radio station. Can I get another Amen? How fabulous is Pandora? That is a whole different post for a different day but I sure do love Pandora!

To top off the most perfect day ever Brad came home early so I could actually shower and get ready for a night out to celebrate one of my dearest friends' 2nd baby on the way. Oh, and I made the big man some crock pot chili AND we received our first Christmas card and I LOVE this season because I love always having cards in the mailbox.

So, yes, I am boasting today. I know it isn't always right to boast but as the days are pretty high or pretty low over here I think I need to harp on the high days! And since I am boasting I should add that the boys and I received three...count them...three....comments from fellow Gymboree-moms that we "had it together for having to get so many people out the door." One angel of a lady even said that we made having two babies look like a breeze! I can't tell you what little compliments like this do for me! Thank you sweet lady (with the crazy screaming kid)....you truly made this crazy mom's day even more perfect!

{For a certain amount of begging I may actually post this real live video taken of my freedom in my car. I'd hate to not show you and maybe miss my shot at being the next Youtube-phenom....Start your begging now.}

Polly want a cracker?

We used to have a tweety bird named "Sunshine" when we were living in cloudy-Ohio. Yes, I lived in Ohio for a very short stint before I started grade school. I remember us always trying to make the bird talk to us because that is what I thought birds did. It was a sad, cold day the day that the tweety bird flew off to the heavens while my mom and I were cleaning out her cage.

What does that have to do with my life with two children and a bearded-husband, you might ask? Nothing, really, except for I now have my very own tweety bird minus the feathers.

What happens in the brains and bodies of 18 month olds to turn them in to little Mr. Simon Says? Whatever it is - it has taken over the once shy, reserved personality of our newly turned 18 month old.

Today I went to pick him up from his three hours of play school (aka - my time to do all 30 things on my list that never seems to shrink) and his dear teacher, Mrs. Stacey, exclaims that Brooks was "chatty-Cathy" today. "He was just talking up a storm today...having conversations with the stuffed animals, the other kids, and himself in the mirror!" While I love that the little man was providing the best entertainment for his class today - it does make me beg the question? What happened? Seriously, in the last 3 days the little-mister seems to have taken on a whole new personality....making p his own games, chasing us around the house, repeating 95% of what we say and looking at us with his big, proud eyes just waiting for our accolades.

I think it needs to go on record that I have thoroughly enjoyed the boys this week (well, after our horrific Monday morning). For some reason this week I actually feel like their mommy. It is so easy to just feel like a nanny to these two boys each day....making sure they are fed and clean and rested but something feels so good when I actually feel like I do have the ability to shape these little people. As I have watched Brooks grow into a little boy in the blink of an eye this week I have seen just a glimpse of the reaping and sowing principle. It's hard to understand that there every may be any internal reward for all of the selfless hours involved in being a parent but luckily, this week, I have had a few of those "aha" moments where the work of the long days seems to actually have some future benefit. And that is the benefit of feeling so valued and so needed in the life of a child.

Thank you, little boys. (Obviously, you caught me when they are both napping and the Christmas carols are filling the air along with the perfect smell of the Christmas tree. The little guys are stirring now and as you know all of these blissful feelings could change in an instant....)

We've had quite a few new "activities" to explore this week...including a little body painting which then turned into finger painting - though it was supposed to be the other way around and some "pop pop" which involves jumping off the table onto the couch! Oh the non-stop life of a curious little boy....