Tuesday, October 28, 2008

An uplifting update from Megan's mom

Good early morning. It was so dark so late this morning and I was so happy in my bed. I have been a little less motivated these days for anything and a little less interested in getting out in the new cold weather. So I afforded myself a little couch time under the covers while I start my new book before the day really begins. It's not the same as the dark bed but it's inviting all the same. Before I dove in to the 300 pages I was looking over some often checked websites and I found this piece of refreshing, encouraging "literature" if you will. In the midst of a job that suits me or that I can suit - this was assuring. I am "working" right now but just maybe not for a monetary income. Nonetheless, we are always working at something. Read on.......

Hard Work
Posted 15 hours ago

Dr. Feelgood and I were invited for a weekend away. It was refreshing to sit by the sea and read, and to walk along the pounding surf under a starry sky. We worked at our golf game, trying to correct that annoying, recurring, swing flaw, and we gladly worked for our dinner, cracking giant crab claws and peeling fresh-caught shrimp.

Now, there is work….and then there is work. Working to get the succulent meat out of a crab claw yields instant gratification. And the process is fun – sitting around the table with garden tool utensils, laughing at each other, sharing a meal that tasted oh-so fine. No one minds working for such reward. However, the golf work does not yield such quick return for the effort. After two days of repeating errors, on my to-do list is to schedule a lesson – or a series of lessons. And then I will need to practice and practice. Golf is work. Up to this point, it has been fun to get out in nature, to be with people I love, and just to hope I can move the ball forward without holding up play (a major annoyance to men). But I am getting tired of a lingering high score and working at it is the only thing that will bring it down.

Last week, I went back to visit Whitefield Academy where I worked before Megan became ill. Work was a joy for me, probably not a passion, but a meaningful experience where I learned so much and grew in my faith. I loved going there daily and working with creative, caring colleagues. I had projects to accomplish and worked hard to see them through. I was challenged and rewarded. Rewarded with an income, yes, but rewarded by feeling that what I was doing had meaning and purpose in the lives of others. My work, like the crab claws, made me feel good.

Megan loved her work. She poured her short time as a teacher into creative lessons in her classroom. She used a lot of her own money for snacks and special activities. Once she made a birthday cake for her student and delivered it to her home because she was sick. She was passionate about the little lives she was touching and had wonderful, lively stories about so many of them. But she also worked at her friendships, her family, and her faith. She was always busy - joyfully working at her work, and loving the process. Even the day after she died, September 13th, she was busy being honored as a bridesmaid - all the way from Heaven!

So what exactly is work? Is it just what we do for money? Is it what we do with our time to yield some kind of reward? Is it what we have to do when we are not having fun? Is work a passion of our heart’s dreams or is work an effort to simply accomplish a task? Maybe the task is not the Monday To-Do List, or of our own choosing, but rather a way of life – like working through a series of Chemo treatments, or working to live with a chronic disease or disability. Maybe work is the task of forgiveness or loving someone unconditionally. Maybe work is grieving a loss.

Right now I do not like my job – this work that I did not choose. Grieving is hard. It hurts. There is no consistency in the process. I WANT LIFE THE WAY IT WAS! I want Megan to call me on the phone for our daily chat about nothing. I want her to snatch Dr. Feelgood’s wallet and make him play the wallet game where she takes out a card and he has to guess which one she took. I want her to take a road trip to visit Blair on her birthday this week or make Owen some brownies. I want someone that I cannot have ever again in this life – someone I loved.

And so we must work at accepting this loss - the grief process. We are finding our way day by day - it is called stumbling and just allowing the tears to fall – often at surprising times. Time with the Lord in the morning is what comforts and teaches and provides a sense of assurance in the midst of great sadness. To be able to rise every day and read verses from scripture gives me strength to move through the next 24 hours and then I start again. It is enough. God alone is enough. Here are just a few:

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not man…it is the Lord you are serving.

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and train you in the way you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

1 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I believe that each of us are all serving the Lord through our work, that he will not only instruct and train, but will watch over us with his eye; I trust that I do not always understand things, but that our path will be directed; I will not lose heart, but will expect renewal day by day, trusting that our troubles are somehow in some unseen way working to some glorious eternity.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Welcomed rain

There couldn't be a more perfect day for a drenching in the Atlanta area. I am happily off work today so I have no need to get out in the mess and we just need a good soaking. Amos has been watching the rain all morning. Occasionally as it picks up he barks at it. His bark almost startles himself as it is so rare to hear a noise from him. He is so entertaining though. You would think he is protecting his family from intruders or something but, no, he doesn't do that.....he kisses anyone that walks through our door.

So the forecast calls for rain all day today thanks to our neighbor Alabama. Therefore, I am on the couch doing alot of something I never do....nothing. I used to feel guilty when I wasn't busy. Luckily marriage has lessened my guilt as it seems okay to do nothing if it is with someone else. But today I feel no guilt. The doors are open. The rains incessant pounding on the sidewalk is really refreshing - and much more enjoyable than the usual sound of the constant traffic. The only unfortunate thing is I finally finished my epic novel, The Thornbirds, last night. I wasn't really thrilled with the last 100 pages. I am not sure why someone would have wanted to right a 700 page novel and write the ending just so drearily. I am a hopeless romantic and would rather see the love at the end than the lesson learned. Love pervades all things, right? I guess I will pick up Brad's latest read, When Crickets Cry. We ran into some dear friends from college who also happened to be the pastor and his wife from church in Athens. Both of them were raving about this book. Brad immediately had to buy it. Funny - if I recommend a book (as I did this same book a year ago) Brad seems interested for a second but feels no pressure to actually read it. Oh, but run into some old friends and you would have thought Brad wouldn't sleep or eat until he had the thing in his hand. I am happy for him though as he really dove into the book and had a great week on the beach reading it. So, I will pick it up too now. And, I'll sit here all day with my dog barking and the rain falling under my down comforter on the smelly couch and I will read and do nothing and I will not feel an ounce of guilt.

Enjoy the rainy Friday!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I have a very large family. Both sides of the family are their own separate overgrown oak tree of relatives. Since Brad and I have been married we have ran into a second cousin or great aunt in the most random places and I am sure he must think that we all couldn't really be family. You see, in South Georgia where my boy is from he has Aunt So-and-So and Uncle So-and-So that aren't necessarily an aunt by blood though certainly by definition. I love that too! But as you could imagine he is constantly asking my if Cousin Joe is really related to me or just a real close family friend. I love being a part of a great big and a fairly local family at that.
Well, yesterday my great big family gathered to celebrate the life of my granddad. As family's of four and six trickled into the funeral home my heart kept growing more full. Family family everywhere. The family alone is about 70 strong not to add my mom's side of the family that showed up to show their support as well. As the hugs were extended and the cheeks pinched I couldn't help but boast of the love in the room. Love certainly for my granddad and the thorough life he lived. Love, too, that extended to my dad and his siblings as well as my great aunts and uncles - granddads siblings. But there was a big love for my sweet Nana.
You see granddad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven+ years ago. I hate to think that I may have been too swallowed up in college life to really understand the magnitude of this disease at it's onset. And that's the trick of it...it's one of those things that slowly but ever so surely evolves. Nonetheless, Nana never once left my granddad's side. She literally became an earthly extension of him - protecting him physically, protecting his mind, protecting his heart by still speaking kindly to him and treating him with dignity despite the seemingly shameful turns the disease took. Four weekends ago he took some sharp, fatal turns for the worse. Nana didn't crumble. She has acted stoically and genuinely in response to the turn of events. And this is unconditional love. I have written of this term often. I have experienced it in small ways through marriage. I tell my mom of her unconditional love in any card I send to her. She is selfless to the core. But my sweet Nana has truly written the definition.

Though I know and feel the pain of loss at this time I also feel joy for my Nana. I can't imagine the peace she must feel knowing as she has said over and over "she has ran the race" and she has certainly ran this race with poise, a smile, and persistence. I just pray she feels the adoration of Our Heavenly Father smiling upon her. She has truly been a walking, breathing example of selfless, unending, agape type love....even when it means getting your hands dirty in the middle of an ugly disease. And I know I am not the only one in my great big family to see this. God, I am grateful for Your presence amid this loss. I am grateful for the way You have used my Nana's hands and hearts to truly be the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus.

2 Timothy 4:7-8

7I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

8Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A few from our week in Seaside

Brad and his attempt to beat my perfect handstand below....

Anniversary dinner! Where did the year go?

Mr. Brad and Dr. Amos on a tour through Rosemary.
Betsy with the most perfect handstand on the beach.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A juicy book on the beach

Brad was determined for this post title to be true as we packed for a week at the beach last week. You see, nearly a year ago we were going through the same hurried task of packing for a trip. This time it was to St. Lucia for a week of honeying the moon and we were preparing for days away in a manner that would become the norm. We need to leave the house by 7am. Therefore, we'll set our clocks early, oh 5:30amish, and that will be plenty of time to wash dirty socks, find passports, and make sure our toiletries are in plastic baggies. As you can imagine, this was a nightmare. I hate to remember it that way as it turned out to be such a sweet time but getting ourselves to the airport that chilly Monday morning was a disaster. As we were heading out the door I looked sheepishly at Mr. Brad and asked if he had seen my book that I had been saving to read for our week on the Caribbean beaches sipping fruity concoctions. Since I had only been his wife for a mere 30+ hours it seems he was more eager than normal to find the little treasure of literature. We tore my recently delivered boxes apart, ripped open every box in storage, scurried through any drawer we could find and to much avail, nothing. Brad assured me that we would just buy the popular book when we got to the airport. " It will be everywhere," he assured me. Fast forward - Brad and I race to the airport in record speed only to find the longest most confusing security line ever known to Hartsfield Jackson. Fastfoward some more - Delta mixed up some things just to make this story good and Brad wasn't even booked on the flight...the one flight to St. Lucia for the week. Needless to say, the book was everywhere but there wasn't a moment to grab one in our plight to make it to our plane to paradise.

Day two in St. Lucia. We are sitting happily in two shaded lounge chairs on the beach in between the Piton mountains, overlooking the indescribable blue water. Brad has discovered his drink of the week - the Piton beer and I - a pina colada type of bliss. Brad looks over at his new wife to see the shared joy on her face only to find her hidden behind the over sized restaurant menu from the resort. I didn't have my much anticipated book to read so I figured I would study the food. Meals are typically my favorite part of any normal day at home or any extra special day on a honeymoon. As tasty and tempting as they were the reading only lasted for a mere 12 minutes. Now I sit. 5.5 days left in heaven and not a thing to read to whisk my mind away. About midway through the day I decided to check out the resorts library. Surely the many American tourists before us had left a plethora of books behind and since this particular one was on Oprah's summer reading list (not why I bought it) it was sure to show up smelling like suntan lotion and a spilled daiquiri. Well, that wa wishful thinking. The most recent book on the island was The Pelican Brief which if I recall correctly was something in the mid-90's. I conceded. I would have no book all week and I would survive. And I did. I survived very well. I read every tourist pamplet provided and knew the prices of every item on every menu and though I would like to believe I kept my angst to myself - Brad assures me that I did not. Welcome to marriage, honey! So now whenever we get to retell stories of our divine week on the island - the story usually starts with the quest for the lost book and Brad dolling out advise to always make wifey (that's what they say in St. Lucia) happy. The end.

Luckily, on our second of week long excursions Brad heeded his own advise. I was literally craving a green book I had seen when Brad decided to pack up half of my things earlier this year in the condo and store them. I remember seeing a way-to-thick-to-read book in the box. It was one I was given as a gift in college and much to my shame, I began it and for no reason I never even tried to finish it but I do remember liking it. Lets' just add... life has been messy lately. I'll spare you of the details because I am at the beach and things are happy but things have just been messy between alot of things.......jobs, sickness in my family, dreams, plans, the usual....So all I could foresee last week as we were packing was my toes in the white sand and my head stuck in the middle of a big fat book. The kind that invites you right into the middle of the plot and leaves you there all day prompting you to keep turning the pages....all 691 of them. So as we were trying to get out the door Sunday sweet Mr. Brad unloaded 16 boxes from our one storage closet. We dug through half of them until we found the thing I had been imagining the thick green book....the ticket to escape for a week.

And that is just what I have done. Meggie Cleary from The Thornbirds has become my closest friend. Luckily for Brad he, too, found a book - a non self-help book - that he could dive into. And that is just what we have done this week in Seaside for our anniversary. We've eaten fried shrimps, drank fine beers, watched the sun for exactly when it dips behind the ocean line, walked the quiet Seaside and Watercolor streets at night and read. Mostly, we have read. This is what I call vacation. Vacate anything usual and customary and enjoy the story of a juicy book and the tastes of not-so-normal food. We may not have learned all the lessons to be learned in the first year of marriage but we learned some big ones. Get away occasionally, just the two of you, and don't try to fix or solve anything. Just be still and enjoy the very day that has been given to you. I'm just happy these days have been spent in the sand.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I am the woman at the well

My husband of 360 days retired to bed after McCain and Obama jumped in front of the teleprompter messing up Tom Brokaw's closing words. All I heard was "Goodnight everyone from Nashville." As interested as I am about the future of our country my brain was just too wired tonight after a really neat (no better word, really) day. One of those days that seems to sneak up from behind and surprise you as a monumental day. Nothing earth shattering but just pleasant reminders of the simple yet inconceivable love of Our Creator and His acceptance of me just the way I am.

I had a brief meeting that was loaded with some really meaty stuff this afternoon. I keep saying "God is right before me. He is two steps ahead of me just getting me in the right place to blow me away." And, yet, daily He blows me away with seemingly "little" meetings like this. Someone who knew no more of my name this morning ended up transforming my perspective by dinner time. It's not that I didn't expect it...the guy is writing a neat book and he has more energy than contained in my little pinky. Whether he is part of this plot line regarding my "purpose" vocationally....I don't know but I know we met today for a reason and I think we both walked away a little more free, a little lighter, and a little encouraged.

Tonight Mr. Brad surprised me with a gift for no reason. I loved it! I loved the packaging the most and I loved the spontaneity even more. I have felt like a princess all night. This little snippet has little to do with the woman at the well but in a way it does. I don't deserve or expect Brad to treat me the way he does but somehow he sees right past my often nasty nasty sins and selfish stuff and he chooses to love me anyway....the way I am. This first year of marriage has certainly displayed grace for me in a tangible way....and what more way than a new Juicy track suit! As soon as I got home from the evening's activities I wanted to put on my track suit and go run the stairs outside our condo. I did run stairs more out of hype from the evening but I didn't wear the suit. Go figure.

Which brings me to the woman at the well. Tuesday nights Brad has signed me up for the Theopraxis study at church. At first. I complied to join Brad knowing that Tuesdays had become a nice quiet night for once and I wanted to keep it that way. I sort of hated committing to something on that one free day. Nonetheless, I knew Brad was excited and I gave it a whirl. I can't really give the 2 hour class justice on this thing. I just love the fresh perspective offered by the instructor - and one of the most wise (yet humble) men I have heard in a while. I love, too, the way even this mostly fact based studied is challenging me and my current status quo activity or inactiity towards God and His present Kingdom (that's a whole different post. Last week we discussed the present and coming Kingdom of God.....a few words that seem to lofty and far off to contemplate but wow - powerful if you really can conceive that it is here, now, and still coming at the same time! Like I said...a seperate post). Anyway, tonight we looked in depth at a story you have read in Sunday school and probably know by heart. How cool is it when you know something front and back - like for me the Georgia Alma Mater or my high school fight song ( I know, embarrassing) - I know it front and back but then when you break it up it has so much rich gooey stuff. The class helps you look at scripture in a more analytical way. I appreciate that our church is not only asking us to investigate for ourselves but teaching us how to analyze and ask questions. So, the Samaritan at the well in John chapter 4 is truly at the right place at the right time. She was thirsty and was fetching water as she would do any other time she was thirsty or needed water. She had a past too. She had a reputation in the town. She came to the well and Jesus happened to be there and he engaged her in conversation like there was nothing abnormal about him interacting with her....a Samaritan (ostracized from the Orthodox Jews and a woman! whoa!) and a very sinful Samaritan-woman at that....I mean 5 husbands! For me those 5 husbands translate to my selfishness and my lack of faith in my actions during this year long "fog." As our group was reading I was looking to see why this woman's demeanor and response to Jesus changed from being defensive to being vulnerable towards the end of the passage. I am no bible scholar by any means but this is what popped off the page for the first time. She was known. Jesus knew her and loved her just the same. He knew what she came with and knew her past. That is what breaks me. He knows me and knows my thoughts and my inability to live for Him throughout my day yet he still pursues me relentlessly AND He knows what is best for me. He meets me right where I am. The woman at the well was known. Isn't it true that when we are really....I mean truly known in a community or with another person that is where we can actually fathom reformation in our lives? Today, I am the woman at the well. I am known fully....even the yucky stuff but God still knows just what I need to quench my thirst. He knows what I need without me even knowing what I need. He meets me right where I am.

As I was running stairs tonight I kept saying in my head, "Where sin abounds grace abounds all the more." This is what I think the Samaritan lady understood in this interaction and today this is what I know. I am overwhelmed by grace and just so full off off of it tonight. I am so grateful. Now, let's see if I can sleep after a day like today!

Connect the dots, la la la la

I enjoy watching the details of a story unfold. Whether it is a story I am reading or a story I am watching or even my story I like to see how the main character ends up somewhere by what most would call random circumstance. I call it divine intervention but whatever you call it - it makes a story good. Often in your own story though it is hard to see that any of the previous dots have anything to do with the most current dots.

This morning I received a really cool message from someone whom I wish I could say was a dear friend because I think it could be a rich friendship but he is probably more of a really neat auaintence. Then again - I recall a few insightful/more than aquaintance type conversations and even a sweet Christmas card one year of him and his large family. So if he'd have it - we are friends. Anyway, the message pointed back to a post on the "old blog." If ever I go back to visit the old blog I do so hesitantly. The old blog is full of mishaps and follys and confessions galore. Basically, it was me....wrapped up in all the mess that I found I was over those crucial and favorite 4 years in between college and marriage. I was a little shocked to read that a friend had recently read the old blog just because I thought like me, the old blog was a thing of the past. More so, I've had this growing feeling that I don't write the way I used to. I hope this doesn't sound vain but I used to really enjoy my writing because the words just seemed to vividly describe how I was feeling or what was going on. Lately or in this latest season of life, the words seem to tell more about circumstance than about the "color or smell or flavor" of the circumstance. I don't really know what is different but nonetheless, I loved reading the old blog this morning in trying to find the post that the kind gentelman mentioned. I loved writing then!

But what I read was a little disturbing. It is now late into the 8th year of the new millenium... a full year and then some past the time of the original post. My name has changed, my job title has changed one, two, three, four times! My address changed. I have a four legged friend and a husband but my heart.....this is the hardest part....my heart seems to still be stuck. God has certainly brought insight and perspective in the last 15 months but overall - still stuck. And, the stuckness still relates to my "calling." I am just a hopeless romantic at heart when it comes to our "sweet spot" and I think there is one for everyone. Everyone in every city in every state has a place where they can feel most used and most valuable right? Amid the woes of the economy crumbling I still want to believe that there are vocations out there for every single type of person. The most frustrating thing, still, is I just don't know how I was created to be used. More so, I am still in denial that my five years in the corporate world were all in vain. And that is where I believe in dots. I know my "dots" made during my years at HomeBanc and even the 3 dots I have made since all connect in some way foreign to me. The problem is that I probably want them to connect and make a vivid and clear picture. You know....it was obvious. But the one thing I do know about the next dot is that it has more to do with my inactivity than my success in finding the dot. That's just it for me. I have this strange lurking feeling that God really isn't concerned about my next job title but He is more concerned with the condition of my heart when I get there. He is also more concerned about the fame He can receive from writing a story that didn't seem likely and that you couldn't have guessed the outcome. He want's to get all the kudos and accolades for the journey He has had me on for the last 25 months now. Yes, I know, September of '06 is the first time I recall feeling God's hand in my life. That is when He started reidentifying me and telling me who I really am...not who I think I am. Not a sales girl in a business suit with too many things to do and people to see to notice the people all around me. Not the single socialite just dying to host the next party. Not a daughter who holds on to things from the past but a daughter who is able to love fully because she has been loved fully. And not some girl that spends her whole life waiting to "arrive" but someone who realizes there is really nowhere to arrive to because things are ever changing and God is ever growing us.

I still don't know where the next dot is and someday's I get really frustrated that I am still here, stuck and waiting. But today like in my old post - I am choosing to embrace the here and now. I choose to embrace the meetings I have today. Maybe they really aren't about the product I am selling but more so about a connection with another person that may be a part of the next dot.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Mini-madness with Gracie Blake

I love things mini. Mini M&M's, mini vanilla wafers, MINI Coopers, munchkin diet cokes, mini skirts, and now mini cupcakes.
Two of the cooler (and skinnier - how does that work??) women I know started a cupcake company this year and it has swiftly moved to one of my favorite things....and favorite websites.
Nicole and Pollye make mini cupcakes infused with one of their scrumptious icings....cookies and cream, cream cheese, and more!
Then, they are packaged in the cutest little box and delivered if you like. What a delivery to receive at the front door!

So I have been feeling a little under the weather the last two days. Luckily, Brad has been a great nurse. He did all the house chores yesterday all the while fetching my favorite soup and some ginger ale and oyster crackers - another favorite mini thing! I haven't really had much of an appetite for anything but GRACIE BLAKE cupcakes! What? I am not one to obsess over sweets usually but as I lay here on the couch for the 27th hour I can think of nothing but a chocolate chip cookie cupcake! Anyway, if you are looking for a fun Holiday gift or even a special treat to take to a birthday party - you should check them out. And if you feel like helping me feel better today you can send me some, too.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Family Fall Fotos

Amos is my favorite thing I have ever bought...or we have ever bought. He represents stability and consistency. I love that he jumps on me when I come home. I love that he rubs Brad's head when he takes a nap on a Sunday. Dr. Amos for President!

And, we are so excited that fall is fully and finally here. There is nothing like a fall Saturday in Athens with good food and family and friends to visit. I am so glad I married a good ole' Georgia boy!

DD for TP

This situation is so pathetic that I must confess to the public. This is like detox for bad habits.
Brad and I have attempted to "makeover our money" Dave Ramsey style in the last few months. Mostly out of desire but partially out of necessity. We figure we could at least attempt to enact positive spending and saving habits in these first years so with the hopes that the good habits will follow. Note: this attempt only works because we have a separate line item for Taqueria Del Sol. If we didn't do it that way we would go over in our dining out budget every month.
Anyway, each month seems to be longer than the one before. August was a nightmare...5 weekends with a Holiday weekend at the end. Needless to say, we were stealing money from Amos' account to try to pay for basic necessities. We made it though! So this month I got a little happy at the grocery store. Really, I just thought I would go green for a month...you know, the thing to do. So I bought lots of veggies and weird things that I never thought I would spend my money on....Earth friendly cleaners, flax seed and Stevia to name a few. Monday of this week comes around and we are down to a pack of koolaid in the pantry and some frozen edamame in the freezer. I think Brad and I think it is a fun game to try not to go to the grocery store until the budget starts over - which was yesterday. Well, yesterday was a wash. I am not sure what I did but it wasn't productive and I didn't get out of my pajamas until I took Amos on a walk at 5pm. Yuck. Needless to say, the last square of toilet paper was squandered the night before on a spill in the kitchen. Yes, that is what paper towels are for but for some reason the last square of tp seemed more fitting. So, this morning.....I tell you no lies, I head out with the Famous Dog at 7:12am while Brad was in the shower to get him a "treat." How about a little Dunkin Donuts? America runs on Donuts but the Bagwells just need some TP. I attempted to order the new eggwhite flatbread concoction that I see on tv but they tell me they don't carry those. I hate misleading commercials that actually do their job and get me out the door to buy the thing so improperly advertised. I settle for e low-fat blueberry muffin (the "green" eating only lasted last month) and a bagel sandwich for Mr. Brad. And, yes, while I was waiting I chose to kindly use the washroom. I admit, I stole a few squares of toilet paper! PATHETIC. I am extremely embarrassed but all the while extremely proud that I have yet to go to the grocery store! Do you blame me?

Let's see how long we can go without making a trip to the grocery store....I just remembered though that we have guests tonight and I didn't consider that when evaluating the squares needed for the day. Decisions decisions. Thank you DD!