The event that you are about to read really happened and it happened just moments ago. While there are far more serious things that have probably happened in your day - this just made me want to ball up on the floor and cry my eyes out. But you'll be happy to know - I called a BFF and laughed about it instead and maybe said a four letter word or two.
It started yesterday when I made the biweekly trip to the local Costco to fetch a rotisserie chicken. Have you ever lived in a super kid friendly neighborhood where every stay at home mom and DINK (dual income no kids) wife hits the local Costco at the same time to snatch one of the limited rotisserie chickens? I didn't know there was a race for such a commodity until I few weeks ago when I found this magical $4.99 chicken to be the thing that solved most of my on the fly dinner needs. That very day I almost got in a hair pulling fight with what had to be a soccer mom of 3 over the last rotisserie chicken in the case. I'll carry on - yesterday I got the first little guy off the rotisserie and managed to leave the gigantic grocery store with only one other item. That calls for a congratulations right there! So, I was set to then go to the local Publix: aka The neighborhood afternoon playgroup but alas, the two boys weren't going to have anymore shopping so I went home defeated. I had set out in my mind to make my rendition of Souper Jenny's chicken tortilla soup. Haven't you, too, been craving some spicy and thick soup these last few days with the autumn-like weather? I came home with just my chicken and some blueberries and two very fussy babies. I threw together the worst dinner I've ever made for the king of our house and the little guy's and then I went out to meet a friend for dinner. But you better believe I went to bed knowing that today I would make it to the grocery store to get the other items needed for my soup and tonight's dinner would be a delightful soup and cornbread on the porch surrounded by the cool temperatures.
I should have known when my submarine sized grocery cart wouldn't fit into the ladies room at the local Wal-Mart that the trip was going to be off the Richter scales. But - I remained positive, stuffed the mouths with cookies and preceded on my quest for my beloved chicken soup. Then I'll leave out the middle of the day because it was just not fun. Everything sort of went wrong but I knew at the end of the day I could comfort myself with my comfort food of choice. So while the boys "un-napped" in their cribs I chopped and sliced and stewed away. Nearly two hours later I was ready for the chicken that I had spent 45 minutes picking apart and chopping to the perfect soup-sized pieces. The forces did not align for this to happen. Usually I could blame the next thing on the dog. Poor Amos gets all the blame usually but not this time. This time it was me. I don't know where my head has gone this year (or maybe I do but I still can't believe that sleep and medicine and babies could really zap my brain the way it has) but my brain is gone! I literally walked over to the poopy diapered trash and dumped the entire freshly chopped chicken in the trash. Then I came back the soup and looked at it and realized what I had just done with the chicken that was supposed to be swimming with the carrots and peppers.
Yes, this won't stop the world from carrying on and there is no real human loss just a whole bunch of pride and more so, "cool". It's like I walked over to the trash and through any patience I had in the poopy trash because after my little mistake I literally wanted to end my day in a ball in tears. You know the end of the story though. I took a deep breath and paced the kitchen for minutes retracing my 10 stupid steps to the poopy trash and then I just fell out laughing. There's an old Indigo girls song I remember and she said "You have to laugh at yourself or you'll cry your eyes out if not." So true, so true, my friends. Off to Costco for the 3rd time in 3 days.....I will not be defeated. Not today.