Breaking news...I didn't sleep last night. Not that you are overly concerned or losing sleep over my loss of sleep but I feel the need to preface anything I write with that disclaimer. Hence, the lack of sense that I might make during my ramblings and the influx of unnecessary emotions over things seemingly un-emotional. I AM SO TIRED!!!! I don't know what to do about this, really. I refuse to take drugs during these last weeks of pregnancy. It is more of a challenge to myself rather than any crazy medical concerns. As you already know - I lay awake at night and write every list of every book I need to read, thing to return, and list to make. Then I start figuring out how I might do all these things before the baby comes and then I realize that I have no control over when the baby comes so he could come tomorrow and then what would I lay awake and think about??? I have a small feeling that his arrival is going to crash on someone's party so it may as well be my own party...crash my attempt to plan anything! If it's not my party then it is sure to be one of my siblings. Poor things.....my oldest brother completes 4 years of treacherous work in medical school and graduates May 7th and 8th so I think his festivities should be in the clear. Baby brother, Carter, walks down Sanford stadium stairs to get his coveted UGA business degree on the 9th and though I plan to be in attendance - I really hope baby does not. Then of course Mothers Day is May 10th and I just really look forward to showering my mama on that day (and my mama in law and my grandmothers) and no one else. They have all been sooo helpful these last months and I just want to spend their day spoiling them. Well, a week later we take our first and only baby class. Maybe we should have planned to do this earlier than a week from our due date but it is a feat that we are even thinking about going. We tend to think this birth thing is going to be natural and we both hate to sit in an all day class and listen to questions of all the paranoid couples out there in fear of everything that could go wrong. I am sorry if you are that couple and it is okay...it's just not me and Brad. We trust medicine and know ultimately we can not prepare for every detail. None the less, we figured this day of fun could atleast get us in the "birth" mindset. Well, that Tuesday, the 19th, sweet Daddy-Brad turns 28! I love even years and I can't wait for him to be 28 with me. For 4 full months I get haggled about my old age and wisdom until Brad finally catches up to me. Though I know people say it would be neat/ironic/cool to share a birthday with your child...it wouldn't! Brad needs his own day to be celebrated so Baby B - let's not go for the 19th. Lastly, my wittle baby seester graduates from high school on the morning of the 23rd. This is always a steaming hot, fun-filled occasion with blow horns, banners and back flips as kids walk down the aisle representing the first in their family to graduate. It's always very entertaining and as I said ...HOT! I, again, plan to be in attendance but I just don't want any horror stories of water breaking as I am in a crowd of people...especially many of my old high school teachers and parents of old friends. Oh, and that night I am in one of my dearest friends' weddings. For real. I hope to make this occasion but yet again I can just see me - the size of a small house - in a brides maids dress - walking down the aisle or rather, waddling and then GUSH!!!! (Sorry for the graphic details)....so we'll just have to see how things are progressing as the time draws near.
So, Baby, do you feel me....anytime after the night of the 23rd would be dandy. You would have no one else to share with and the least amount of chaos would result with your properly timed arrival. I know there is zero control over this so I know this is just a humorous post of me trying to plan...yet again. And the truth is....I like him in there. I like feeling his knee as I eat lunch. I like feeling him squirm to and fro as I try to fall fast asleep. And I like our family of 3. Amos tends to like our little threesome too. He has followed me around the condo the last few weeks as I scurry to get things in place and you can see it on his face....."what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on around here...give me some normalcy, please!" I know as April closes and the flowers start to burst and temperature continues to climb so will my tolerance for this life inside of me and I will be ready....we will be ready for him to join us. We are praying for his perfect timing and perfect health despite my silly rants and seeming resistance to this new adventure.
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