Brad is sitting on the couch just smelling like a vacation. A quiet, uneventful, seafood eating vacation is what he smells of...... You see Brad has been vacationing since Wednesday at 5pm. There is certainly something about a man and some good ole fashion down time because he has looked like a new man ever since...... Like the man I married 8 months ago. (I hope that doesn't mean I am the reason for any apparent demise?) His steps are a little slower, a little less intentional and his cheeks just seem a little rosier; eyes a tad brighter. You see..we leave for Charleston on Wednesday morning and the timing couldn't be any more perfect. We have literally been counting down the hours as our planned vacation time draws near. It would seem to many that we have had plenty of vacation time this year but really we have been on a wedding tour - 15 strong - that has taken us away for several weekends. We love wedding weekends away! Brad looks yummy in a suit and tie and especially a bow tie. And the nuptials of our dearest friends have certainly taken us to fun cities. Nonetheless, they are nothing close to smelling of a vacation.
Brad asked me last week what specific things I would like to do while we are away. "Easy" I answered. I want to "eat an apple-lavender muffin" (yes, lavender) at my favorite Charleston bakery and I want to forget what day it is on Isle of Palms or Sullivans Island. I want to eat shrimp and have good iced tea. That's all. Nothing more. I want to do a whole lot of unscheduled nothing.
This season has certainly been a busy one for Brad and I and we are just grateful to have the leisure to spend some time away from the 7am banging of the hammer from the building across the street and from the constant stream of emails to tend to each day and from the noise of Peachtree below us. Amos is excited, too. He likes to see new places and meet new friends. He meets friends everywhere. Brad surprised me a few weeks ago by telling me we were staying in a super nice hotel the first few nights. Amos will get to stay in a "hotel" somewhere, too. Then we'll pick up Amos dog and head to Fran and Ashley's to spend the 4th weekend with them. I love the 4th of July in Charleston. I love the 4th of July period but I am especially fond of one in Charleston. Plus, this is Brad's first time to my beloved city. Ohhhh.....I am giddy just thinking of all of my favorite places that I have always wanted to show the boy that calls me a wife. When I lived in Charleston several summers ago I would sit at night at my hostessing job and write lists of my favorite things to do in order to one day give to a boy that would care to know about my favorite things to do during my favorite summer. A walk around the Battery was of course tops on the list as well as a kiss on waterfront park on the swinging benches. I also mentioned a run over the Cooper River Bridge and a cocktail on the rooftop bar. I am giggling to myself just getting to write these sweet memories and feel them inside as I type. Get ready Brad!
Okay, two days of work and then I get to join Brad on our "July-sabattical." I vow to be a much better writer, wife, worker, daughter and friend when I return.
I know. I know. Any 'peep' from us is long overdo. If you are even still checking in I applaud you. We haven't even been extra busy. For me, just extra "reflective." Therefore, I am unable to filter what I would like to update you on and choose to not update at all. This is a poor way to ever have any fans but it is the truth. So, new amazing and more frequent posts soon! Promise. In the mean time, please read below. As i always do, I like to post from a friend of mine's blog. It is actually her mother writing. Her words are beautiful and have been one of the true things that I listen to these days. Life will start to beat me up for whatever reason and then I will read an update and all is back in perspective, in God's perspective. Really, I can't write these days because updating you about our puppy whom we adore or our latest new restaurant just isn't enough for me. My heart longs daily....minutely....to just grab the people I love and the people God has placed in my life and just hug them with the biggest hug and hopefully shake into them how much more they are loved by God. I am so grateful that my heart bleeds daily for so many people in my life lately. I feel alive! I feel most alive when my heart feels most like God's. I am grateful that He would allow me to feel to this magnitude. Sorry. Enough of me. Read below and check back soon. I promise it will be light and fluffy.
46 June 24, 2008 at 04:02 PM EDT June 24, 2008 Megan woke up laughing this morning, but crying another morning earlier this week. I gave her medicine and went to make coffee and wander around the garden to cry some myself. A bright “Heavenly Blue” morning glory bloom greeted me and I just paused to stare at it. Striking in beauty, but fragile and short-lived, I admire and enjoy it in the early morning before it is gone and will trust another will pop open for tomorrow. Nothing lasts forever. Everything dies. Henri Nouwen says that death must become part of our present. “As we break through our need to cling to what we have, what we know, what we possess, we can be liberated by trustful surrender to God. Then our anxiety will not cripple us, but point us forward in joy, point us even to what we cannot predict or fully see, even our own death. Indeed, the New Testament paints a portrait of an eternal life that begins now: “See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are…Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is” (1 John 3:1-2)”. (Turn My Mourning into Dancing, pg. 102)
I still feel disappointed when the morning blooms are gone so quickly, knowing fully that that is the way of life. Nouwen goes on to remind us that even Jesus cried out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” He quoted the words of the Psalmist who for all his sense of forsaken abandonment, still called upon God. “Absence and presence touch one another. The God the psalmist fears has turned his gaze away is still a God he can address. And will address. The One who seems far from our plea is the One to whom we still turn.”
So I cannot help but reassure myself once again that He is in charge of Megan even though He seems to have turned away some days. He loves her more that we do and is planning her day of entrance into Heaven (ours too). A visitor last week wrote a thank-you follow-up and mentioned the word “love”. It seems to connect everything we do – especially in death. She said, “I don't know what she experiences, what she understands, if anything, but I am sure that even though higher thought functions have disappeared, she can still feel the attention, and the presence of your love”. And the love that we offer is the love we have been shown from our Father in Heaven. And once we have that kind of love; it never lets us go – because we are called children of God. Even in death.
Today one of Megan’s caregivers said, “I love Megan. She has become my best friend and she has never said one word to me.” Her statement struck me and I know this to be true and have watched it happen. The only explanation for me comes from a verse in John that says, “He who believes in me…out of his heart will flow rivers of living water and hundreds of other lives will be continually refreshed.”
I told Megan this afternoon that I was so very proud of her for still being able to spread sunshine to all of us. God is not through with her yet.
Brad is out walking our puppy....excuse me, kitty cat, Amos. Amos got a pretty serious new do on Friday much to Brad's desire. I will have to post pics for you to believe me but he is fluffy dog when you look at his face but his body now looks like an oversized cat. Anyway, I have like 6 minutes to write before he gets back as we have a date to watch a few of the Dog Whisperer episodes we have on tevo before I hit the bed early. Pretty dull, I know. So in light of too many unnecessary details here are some things to update you: *It was 99 degrees today at the Virginia Highland Summerfest. Brad and I enjoyed all of the freebies that Starbucks and others were passing out and we looked puzzled at each bypasser eating a frozen banana on a stick...that's just weird...but more so, at the people eating philly cheesesteaks hot off the grill. Did I mention 99 degrees and way too many people! Anyway, we love festivals. We like to watch the crazy people like us who go to everyone of them only to see the same booths and same folk art and the same frozen bananas. Atlanta really has some interesting characters when you get outside of the cozy confines of our neighborhood. I think the neat thing about Brad and I right now is that our cozy 6 mile radius is starting to wear on us...fast. We talk often of living in a place where we truly have to ask in order to find the nearest coffee shop. We crave those conversations with people not like our selves, not concerned by the things that often cause us a false sense of anxiety. I can't say anymore because that is all it is.......a desire. And we know God is the author of our desires. We are patient to see what His purpose is for this craving. In the meantime, we festival hop just looking at all the people and wondering where might they came from????
*Puppy goes to school at the end of this month and loses his manhood. It's a big month. Until this transition period we'll just keeping loving on him....brushing him....taking him to the dog park and feeling loved in return. What a treat for Brad and I!
*I don't like to cook. I like to cook breakfast but as much as Brad likes my blueberry pancakes he doesn't want them or any variety for dinner more than 2 nights a week. Last week I planned out the whole week of delectable dinners and spent more money than I should have to impress my groom and we ended up finding a convincing reason every night to eat out. Do you have an economical favorite eating place within our 6 mile radius? We go to Taqueria Del Sol every Thursday and some times more often if we don't feel like using will power. It is true, Brad says this is the sole thing he will miss if our adventure comes true. For real....any suggestions. Cooking isn't for us.
*My brother goes to Guatemala this week for a medical mission trip. I am just so so tickled for him. He really makes me so proud. I wish I could tell you all about him but Brad just came in and I promised a date with Cesar and Amos and Brad.....3 men! But......listen to this......handsome, one year of med school to go until he can add the M.D. to his name, loves our Creator and has such a fresh love for him (this is the coolest thing).....likes to kayak, play the mandolin, and buy toys. He always seems to have a new toy. Anyway, this is his first mission trip and Brad and I just can't wait to see what God does to use him in Guatemala. We'll keep you posted.
Okay, I'm late for my date. I miss writing. I miss my heart being vulnerable. Hopefully, this will start a trend.