I have a very large family. Both sides of the family are their own separate overgrown oak tree of relatives. Since Brad and I have been married we have ran into a second cousin or great aunt in the most random places and I am sure he must think that we all couldn't really be family. You see, in South Georgia where my boy is from he has Aunt So-and-So and Uncle So-and-So that aren't necessarily an aunt by blood though certainly by definition. I love that too! But as you could imagine he is constantly asking my if Cousin Joe is really related to me or just a real close family friend. I love being a part of a great big and a fairly local family at that.
Well, yesterday my great big family gathered to celebrate the life of my granddad. As family's of four and six trickled into the funeral home my heart kept growing more full. Family family everywhere. The family alone is about 70 strong not to add my mom's side of the family that showed up to show their support as well. As the hugs were extended and the cheeks pinched I couldn't help but boast of the love in the room. Love certainly for my granddad and the thorough life he lived. Love, too, that extended to my dad and his siblings as well as my great aunts and uncles - granddads siblings. But there was a big love for my sweet Nana.
You see granddad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven+ years ago. I hate to think that I may have been too swallowed up in college life to really understand the magnitude of this disease at it's onset. And that's the trick of it...it's one of those things that slowly but ever so surely evolves. Nonetheless, Nana never once left my granddad's side. She literally became an earthly extension of him - protecting him physically, protecting his mind, protecting his heart by still speaking kindly to him and treating him with dignity despite the seemingly shameful turns the disease took. Four weekends ago he took some sharp, fatal turns for the worse. Nana didn't crumble. She has acted stoically and genuinely in response to the turn of events. And this is unconditional love. I have written of this term often. I have experienced it in small ways through marriage. I tell my mom of her unconditional love in any card I send to her. She is selfless to the core. But my sweet Nana has truly written the definition.
Though I know and feel the pain of loss at this time I also feel joy for my Nana. I can't imagine the peace she must feel knowing as she has said over and over "she has ran the race" and she has certainly ran this race with poise, a smile, and persistence. I just pray she feels the adoration of Our Heavenly Father smiling upon her. She has truly been a walking, breathing example of selfless, unending, agape type love....even when it means getting your hands dirty in the middle of an ugly disease. And I know I am not the only one in my great big family to see this. God, I am grateful for Your presence amid this loss. I am grateful for the way You have used my Nana's hands and hearts to truly be the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus.
2 Timothy 4:7-8
7I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
8Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
A few from our week in Seaside
Brad and his attempt to beat my perfect handstand below....
Anniversary dinner! Where did the year go?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A juicy book on the beach
Brad was determined for this post title to be true as we packed for a week at the beach last week. You see, nearly a year ago we were going through the same hurried task of packing for a trip. This time it was to St. Lucia for a week of honeying the moon and we were preparing for days away in a manner that would become the norm. We need to leave the house by 7am. Therefore, we'll set our clocks early, oh 5:30amish, and that will be plenty of time to wash dirty socks, find passports, and make sure our toiletries are in plastic baggies. As you can imagine, this was a nightmare. I hate to remember it that way as it turned out to be such a sweet time but getting ourselves to the airport that chilly Monday morning was a disaster. As we were heading out the door I looked sheepishly at Mr. Brad and asked if he had seen my book that I had been saving to read for our week on the Caribbean beaches sipping fruity concoctions. Since I had only been his wife for a mere 30+ hours it seems he was more eager than normal to find the little treasure of literature. We tore my recently delivered boxes apart, ripped open every box in storage, scurried through any drawer we could find and to much avail, nothing. Brad assured me that we would just buy the popular book when we got to the airport. " It will be everywhere," he assured me. Fast forward - Brad and I race to the airport in record speed only to find the longest most confusing security line ever known to Hartsfield Jackson. Fastfoward some more - Delta mixed up some things just to make this story good and Brad wasn't even booked on the flight...the one flight to St. Lucia for the week. Needless to say, the book was everywhere but there wasn't a moment to grab one in our plight to make it to our plane to paradise.
Day two in St. Lucia. We are sitting happily in two shaded lounge chairs on the beach in between the Piton mountains, overlooking the indescribable blue water. Brad has discovered his drink of the week - the Piton beer and I - a pina colada type of bliss. Brad looks over at his new wife to see the shared joy on her face only to find her hidden behind the over sized restaurant menu from the resort. I didn't have my much anticipated book to read so I figured I would study the food. Meals are typically my favorite part of any normal day at home or any extra special day on a honeymoon. As tasty and tempting as they were the reading only lasted for a mere 12 minutes. Now I sit. 5.5 days left in heaven and not a thing to read to whisk my mind away. About midway through the day I decided to check out the resorts library. Surely the many American tourists before us had left a plethora of books behind and since this particular one was on Oprah's summer reading list (not why I bought it) it was sure to show up smelling like suntan lotion and a spilled daiquiri. Well, that wa wishful thinking. The most recent book on the island was The Pelican Brief which if I recall correctly was something in the mid-90's. I conceded. I would have no book all week and I would survive. And I did. I survived very well. I read every tourist pamplet provided and knew the prices of every item on every menu and though I would like to believe I kept my angst to myself - Brad assures me that I did not. Welcome to marriage, honey! So now whenever we get to retell stories of our divine week on the island - the story usually starts with the quest for the lost book and Brad dolling out advise to always make wifey (that's what they say in St. Lucia) happy. The end.
Luckily, on our second of week long excursions Brad heeded his own advise. I was literally craving a green book I had seen when Brad decided to pack up half of my things earlier this year in the condo and store them. I remember seeing a way-to-thick-to-read book in the box. It was one I was given as a gift in college and much to my shame, I began it and for no reason I never even tried to finish it but I do remember liking it. Lets' just add... life has been messy lately. I'll spare you of the details because I am at the beach and things are happy but things have just been messy between alot of things.......jobs, sickness in my family, dreams, plans, the usual....So all I could foresee last week as we were packing was my toes in the white sand and my head stuck in the middle of a big fat book. The kind that invites you right into the middle of the plot and leaves you there all day prompting you to keep turning the pages....all 691 of them. So as we were trying to get out the door Sunday sweet Mr. Brad unloaded 16 boxes from our one storage closet. We dug through half of them until we found the thing I had been imagining the thick green book....the ticket to escape for a week.
And that is just what I have done. Meggie Cleary from The Thornbirds has become my closest friend. Luckily for Brad he, too, found a book - a non self-help book - that he could dive into. And that is just what we have done this week in Seaside for our anniversary. We've eaten fried shrimps, drank fine beers, watched the sun for exactly when it dips behind the ocean line, walked the quiet Seaside and Watercolor streets at night and read. Mostly, we have read. This is what I call vacation. Vacate anything usual and customary and enjoy the story of a juicy book and the tastes of not-so-normal food. We may not have learned all the lessons to be learned in the first year of marriage but we learned some big ones. Get away occasionally, just the two of you, and don't try to fix or solve anything. Just be still and enjoy the very day that has been given to you. I'm just happy these days have been spent in the sand.
Day two in St. Lucia. We are sitting happily in two shaded lounge chairs on the beach in between the Piton mountains, overlooking the indescribable blue water. Brad has discovered his drink of the week - the Piton beer and I - a pina colada type of bliss. Brad looks over at his new wife to see the shared joy on her face only to find her hidden behind the over sized restaurant menu from the resort. I didn't have my much anticipated book to read so I figured I would study the food. Meals are typically my favorite part of any normal day at home or any extra special day on a honeymoon. As tasty and tempting as they were the reading only lasted for a mere 12 minutes. Now I sit. 5.5 days left in heaven and not a thing to read to whisk my mind away. About midway through the day I decided to check out the resorts library. Surely the many American tourists before us had left a plethora of books behind and since this particular one was on Oprah's summer reading list (not why I bought it) it was sure to show up smelling like suntan lotion and a spilled daiquiri. Well, that wa wishful thinking. The most recent book on the island was The Pelican Brief which if I recall correctly was something in the mid-90's. I conceded. I would have no book all week and I would survive. And I did. I survived very well. I read every tourist pamplet provided and knew the prices of every item on every menu and though I would like to believe I kept my angst to myself - Brad assures me that I did not. Welcome to marriage, honey! So now whenever we get to retell stories of our divine week on the island - the story usually starts with the quest for the lost book and Brad dolling out advise to always make wifey (that's what they say in St. Lucia) happy. The end.
Luckily, on our second of week long excursions Brad heeded his own advise. I was literally craving a green book I had seen when Brad decided to pack up half of my things earlier this year in the condo and store them. I remember seeing a way-to-thick-to-read book in the box. It was one I was given as a gift in college and much to my shame, I began it and for no reason I never even tried to finish it but I do remember liking it. Lets' just add... life has been messy lately. I'll spare you of the details because I am at the beach and things are happy but things have just been messy between alot of things.......jobs, sickness in my family, dreams, plans, the usual....So all I could foresee last week as we were packing was my toes in the white sand and my head stuck in the middle of a big fat book. The kind that invites you right into the middle of the plot and leaves you there all day prompting you to keep turning the pages....all 691 of them. So as we were trying to get out the door Sunday sweet Mr. Brad unloaded 16 boxes from our one storage closet. We dug through half of them until we found the thing I had been imagining the thick green book....the ticket to escape for a week.
And that is just what I have done. Meggie Cleary from The Thornbirds has become my closest friend. Luckily for Brad he, too, found a book - a non self-help book - that he could dive into. And that is just what we have done this week in Seaside for our anniversary. We've eaten fried shrimps, drank fine beers, watched the sun for exactly when it dips behind the ocean line, walked the quiet Seaside and Watercolor streets at night and read. Mostly, we have read. This is what I call vacation. Vacate anything usual and customary and enjoy the story of a juicy book and the tastes of not-so-normal food. We may not have learned all the lessons to be learned in the first year of marriage but we learned some big ones. Get away occasionally, just the two of you, and don't try to fix or solve anything. Just be still and enjoy the very day that has been given to you. I'm just happy these days have been spent in the sand.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I am the woman at the well
My husband of 360 days retired to bed after McCain and Obama jumped in front of the teleprompter messing up Tom Brokaw's closing words. All I heard was "Goodnight everyone from Nashville." As interested as I am about the future of our country my brain was just too wired tonight after a really neat (no better word, really) day. One of those days that seems to sneak up from behind and surprise you as a monumental day. Nothing earth shattering but just pleasant reminders of the simple yet inconceivable love of Our Creator and His acceptance of me just the way I am.
I had a brief meeting that was loaded with some really meaty stuff this afternoon. I keep saying "God is right before me. He is two steps ahead of me just getting me in the right place to blow me away." And, yet, daily He blows me away with seemingly "little" meetings like this. Someone who knew no more of my name this morning ended up transforming my perspective by dinner time. It's not that I didn't expect it...the guy is writing a neat book and he has more energy than contained in my little pinky. Whether he is part of this plot line regarding my "purpose" vocationally....I don't know but I know we met today for a reason and I think we both walked away a little more free, a little lighter, and a little encouraged.
Tonight Mr. Brad surprised me with a gift for no reason. I loved it! I loved the packaging the most and I loved the spontaneity even more. I have felt like a princess all night. This little snippet has little to do with the woman at the well but in a way it does. I don't deserve or expect Brad to treat me the way he does but somehow he sees right past my often nasty nasty sins and selfish stuff and he chooses to love me anyway....the way I am. This first year of marriage has certainly displayed grace for me in a tangible way....and what more way than a new Juicy track suit! As soon as I got home from the evening's activities I wanted to put on my track suit and go run the stairs outside our condo. I did run stairs more out of hype from the evening but I didn't wear the suit. Go figure.
Which brings me to the woman at the well. Tuesday nights Brad has signed me up for the Theopraxis study at church. At first. I complied to join Brad knowing that Tuesdays had become a nice quiet night for once and I wanted to keep it that way. I sort of hated committing to something on that one free day. Nonetheless, I knew Brad was excited and I gave it a whirl. I can't really give the 2 hour class justice on this thing. I just love the fresh perspective offered by the instructor - and one of the most wise (yet humble) men I have heard in a while. I love, too, the way even this mostly fact based studied is challenging me and my current status quo activity or inactiity towards God and His present Kingdom (that's a whole different post. Last week we discussed the present and coming Kingdom of God.....a few words that seem to lofty and far off to contemplate but wow - powerful if you really can conceive that it is here, now, and still coming at the same time! Like I said...a seperate post). Anyway, tonight we looked in depth at a story you have read in Sunday school and probably know by heart. How cool is it when you know something front and back - like for me the Georgia Alma Mater or my high school fight song ( I know, embarrassing) - I know it front and back but then when you break it up it has so much rich gooey stuff. The class helps you look at scripture in a more analytical way. I appreciate that our church is not only asking us to investigate for ourselves but teaching us how to analyze and ask questions. So, the Samaritan at the well in John chapter 4 is truly at the right place at the right time. She was thirsty and was fetching water as she would do any other time she was thirsty or needed water. She had a past too. She had a reputation in the town. She came to the well and Jesus happened to be there and he engaged her in conversation like there was nothing abnormal about him interacting with her....a Samaritan (ostracized from the Orthodox Jews and a woman! whoa!) and a very sinful Samaritan-woman at that....I mean 5 husbands! For me those 5 husbands translate to my selfishness and my lack of faith in my actions during this year long "fog." As our group was reading I was looking to see why this woman's demeanor and response to Jesus changed from being defensive to being vulnerable towards the end of the passage. I am no bible scholar by any means but this is what popped off the page for the first time. She was known. Jesus knew her and loved her just the same. He knew what she came with and knew her past. That is what breaks me. He knows me and knows my thoughts and my inability to live for Him throughout my day yet he still pursues me relentlessly AND He knows what is best for me. He meets me right where I am. The woman at the well was known. Isn't it true that when we are really....I mean truly known in a community or with another person that is where we can actually fathom reformation in our lives? Today, I am the woman at the well. I am known fully....even the yucky stuff but God still knows just what I need to quench my thirst. He knows what I need without me even knowing what I need. He meets me right where I am.
As I was running stairs tonight I kept saying in my head, "Where sin abounds grace abounds all the more." This is what I think the Samaritan lady understood in this interaction and today this is what I know. I am overwhelmed by grace and just so full off off of it tonight. I am so grateful. Now, let's see if I can sleep after a day like today!
I had a brief meeting that was loaded with some really meaty stuff this afternoon. I keep saying "God is right before me. He is two steps ahead of me just getting me in the right place to blow me away." And, yet, daily He blows me away with seemingly "little" meetings like this. Someone who knew no more of my name this morning ended up transforming my perspective by dinner time. It's not that I didn't expect it...the guy is writing a neat book and he has more energy than contained in my little pinky. Whether he is part of this plot line regarding my "purpose" vocationally....I don't know but I know we met today for a reason and I think we both walked away a little more free, a little lighter, and a little encouraged.
Tonight Mr. Brad surprised me with a gift for no reason. I loved it! I loved the packaging the most and I loved the spontaneity even more. I have felt like a princess all night. This little snippet has little to do with the woman at the well but in a way it does. I don't deserve or expect Brad to treat me the way he does but somehow he sees right past my often nasty nasty sins and selfish stuff and he chooses to love me anyway....the way I am. This first year of marriage has certainly displayed grace for me in a tangible way....and what more way than a new Juicy track suit! As soon as I got home from the evening's activities I wanted to put on my track suit and go run the stairs outside our condo. I did run stairs more out of hype from the evening but I didn't wear the suit. Go figure.
Which brings me to the woman at the well. Tuesday nights Brad has signed me up for the Theopraxis study at church. At first. I complied to join Brad knowing that Tuesdays had become a nice quiet night for once and I wanted to keep it that way. I sort of hated committing to something on that one free day. Nonetheless, I knew Brad was excited and I gave it a whirl. I can't really give the 2 hour class justice on this thing. I just love the fresh perspective offered by the instructor - and one of the most wise (yet humble) men I have heard in a while. I love, too, the way even this mostly fact based studied is challenging me and my current status quo activity or inactiity towards God and His present Kingdom (that's a whole different post. Last week we discussed the present and coming Kingdom of God.....a few words that seem to lofty and far off to contemplate but wow - powerful if you really can conceive that it is here, now, and still coming at the same time! Like I said...a seperate post). Anyway, tonight we looked in depth at a story you have read in Sunday school and probably know by heart. How cool is it when you know something front and back - like for me the Georgia Alma Mater or my high school fight song ( I know, embarrassing) - I know it front and back but then when you break it up it has so much rich gooey stuff. The class helps you look at scripture in a more analytical way. I appreciate that our church is not only asking us to investigate for ourselves but teaching us how to analyze and ask questions. So, the Samaritan at the well in John chapter 4 is truly at the right place at the right time. She was thirsty and was fetching water as she would do any other time she was thirsty or needed water. She had a past too. She had a reputation in the town. She came to the well and Jesus happened to be there and he engaged her in conversation like there was nothing abnormal about him interacting with her....a Samaritan (ostracized from the Orthodox Jews and a woman! whoa!) and a very sinful Samaritan-woman at that....I mean 5 husbands! For me those 5 husbands translate to my selfishness and my lack of faith in my actions during this year long "fog." As our group was reading I was looking to see why this woman's demeanor and response to Jesus changed from being defensive to being vulnerable towards the end of the passage. I am no bible scholar by any means but this is what popped off the page for the first time. She was known. Jesus knew her and loved her just the same. He knew what she came with and knew her past. That is what breaks me. He knows me and knows my thoughts and my inability to live for Him throughout my day yet he still pursues me relentlessly AND He knows what is best for me. He meets me right where I am. The woman at the well was known. Isn't it true that when we are really....I mean truly known in a community or with another person that is where we can actually fathom reformation in our lives? Today, I am the woman at the well. I am known fully....even the yucky stuff but God still knows just what I need to quench my thirst. He knows what I need without me even knowing what I need. He meets me right where I am.
As I was running stairs tonight I kept saying in my head, "Where sin abounds grace abounds all the more." This is what I think the Samaritan lady understood in this interaction and today this is what I know. I am overwhelmed by grace and just so full off off of it tonight. I am so grateful. Now, let's see if I can sleep after a day like today!
Connect the dots, la la la la
I enjoy watching the details of a story unfold. Whether it is a story I am reading or a story I am watching or even my story I like to see how the main character ends up somewhere by what most would call random circumstance. I call it divine intervention but whatever you call it - it makes a story good. Often in your own story though it is hard to see that any of the previous dots have anything to do with the most current dots.
This morning I received a really cool message from someone whom I wish I could say was a dear friend because I think it could be a rich friendship but he is probably more of a really neat auaintence. Then again - I recall a few insightful/more than aquaintance type conversations and even a sweet Christmas card one year of him and his large family. So if he'd have it - we are friends. Anyway, the message pointed back to a post on the "old blog." If ever I go back to visit the old blog I do so hesitantly. The old blog is full of mishaps and follys and confessions galore. Basically, it was me....wrapped up in all the mess that I found I was over those crucial and favorite 4 years in between college and marriage. I was a little shocked to read that a friend had recently read the old blog just because I thought like me, the old blog was a thing of the past. More so, I've had this growing feeling that I don't write the way I used to. I hope this doesn't sound vain but I used to really enjoy my writing because the words just seemed to vividly describe how I was feeling or what was going on. Lately or in this latest season of life, the words seem to tell more about circumstance than about the "color or smell or flavor" of the circumstance. I don't really know what is different but nonetheless, I loved reading the old blog this morning in trying to find the post that the kind gentelman mentioned. I loved writing then!
But what I read was a little disturbing. It is now late into the 8th year of the new millenium... a full year and then some past the time of the original post. My name has changed, my job title has changed one, two, three, four times! My address changed. I have a four legged friend and a husband but my heart.....this is the hardest part....my heart seems to still be stuck. God has certainly brought insight and perspective in the last 15 months but overall - still stuck. And, the stuckness still relates to my "calling." I am just a hopeless romantic at heart when it comes to our "sweet spot" and I think there is one for everyone. Everyone in every city in every state has a place where they can feel most used and most valuable right? Amid the woes of the economy crumbling I still want to believe that there are vocations out there for every single type of person. The most frustrating thing, still, is I just don't know how I was created to be used. More so, I am still in denial that my five years in the corporate world were all in vain. And that is where I believe in dots. I know my "dots" made during my years at HomeBanc and even the 3 dots I have made since all connect in some way foreign to me. The problem is that I probably want them to connect and make a vivid and clear picture. You know....it was obvious. But the one thing I do know about the next dot is that it has more to do with my inactivity than my success in finding the dot. That's just it for me. I have this strange lurking feeling that God really isn't concerned about my next job title but He is more concerned with the condition of my heart when I get there. He is also more concerned about the fame He can receive from writing a story that didn't seem likely and that you couldn't have guessed the outcome. He want's to get all the kudos and accolades for the journey He has had me on for the last 25 months now. Yes, I know, September of '06 is the first time I recall feeling God's hand in my life. That is when He started reidentifying me and telling me who I really am...not who I think I am. Not a sales girl in a business suit with too many things to do and people to see to notice the people all around me. Not the single socialite just dying to host the next party. Not a daughter who holds on to things from the past but a daughter who is able to love fully because she has been loved fully. And not some girl that spends her whole life waiting to "arrive" but someone who realizes there is really nowhere to arrive to because things are ever changing and God is ever growing us.
I still don't know where the next dot is and someday's I get really frustrated that I am still here, stuck and waiting. But today like in my old post - I am choosing to embrace the here and now. I choose to embrace the meetings I have today. Maybe they really aren't about the product I am selling but more so about a connection with another person that may be a part of the next dot.
This morning I received a really cool message from someone whom I wish I could say was a dear friend because I think it could be a rich friendship but he is probably more of a really neat auaintence. Then again - I recall a few insightful/more than aquaintance type conversations and even a sweet Christmas card one year of him and his large family. So if he'd have it - we are friends. Anyway, the message pointed back to a post on the "old blog." If ever I go back to visit the old blog I do so hesitantly. The old blog is full of mishaps and follys and confessions galore. Basically, it was me....wrapped up in all the mess that I found I was over those crucial and favorite 4 years in between college and marriage. I was a little shocked to read that a friend had recently read the old blog just because I thought like me, the old blog was a thing of the past. More so, I've had this growing feeling that I don't write the way I used to. I hope this doesn't sound vain but I used to really enjoy my writing because the words just seemed to vividly describe how I was feeling or what was going on. Lately or in this latest season of life, the words seem to tell more about circumstance than about the "color or smell or flavor" of the circumstance. I don't really know what is different but nonetheless, I loved reading the old blog this morning in trying to find the post that the kind gentelman mentioned. I loved writing then!
But what I read was a little disturbing. It is now late into the 8th year of the new millenium... a full year and then some past the time of the original post. My name has changed, my job title has changed one, two, three, four times! My address changed. I have a four legged friend and a husband but my heart.....this is the hardest part....my heart seems to still be stuck. God has certainly brought insight and perspective in the last 15 months but overall - still stuck. And, the stuckness still relates to my "calling." I am just a hopeless romantic at heart when it comes to our "sweet spot" and I think there is one for everyone. Everyone in every city in every state has a place where they can feel most used and most valuable right? Amid the woes of the economy crumbling I still want to believe that there are vocations out there for every single type of person. The most frustrating thing, still, is I just don't know how I was created to be used. More so, I am still in denial that my five years in the corporate world were all in vain. And that is where I believe in dots. I know my "dots" made during my years at HomeBanc and even the 3 dots I have made since all connect in some way foreign to me. The problem is that I probably want them to connect and make a vivid and clear picture. You know....it was obvious. But the one thing I do know about the next dot is that it has more to do with my inactivity than my success in finding the dot. That's just it for me. I have this strange lurking feeling that God really isn't concerned about my next job title but He is more concerned with the condition of my heart when I get there. He is also more concerned about the fame He can receive from writing a story that didn't seem likely and that you couldn't have guessed the outcome. He want's to get all the kudos and accolades for the journey He has had me on for the last 25 months now. Yes, I know, September of '06 is the first time I recall feeling God's hand in my life. That is when He started reidentifying me and telling me who I really am...not who I think I am. Not a sales girl in a business suit with too many things to do and people to see to notice the people all around me. Not the single socialite just dying to host the next party. Not a daughter who holds on to things from the past but a daughter who is able to love fully because she has been loved fully. And not some girl that spends her whole life waiting to "arrive" but someone who realizes there is really nowhere to arrive to because things are ever changing and God is ever growing us.
I still don't know where the next dot is and someday's I get really frustrated that I am still here, stuck and waiting. But today like in my old post - I am choosing to embrace the here and now. I choose to embrace the meetings I have today. Maybe they really aren't about the product I am selling but more so about a connection with another person that may be a part of the next dot.
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