I am on my 4th day of working from home. This weekend Brad and I spent any spare hours creating an office "space" as the bar counter wasn't cutting it.....snacks too easily in reach. So, I feel better today. As I told my new boss and friend, I feel "promising" about this adventure. I'd say I am a 6.9 on a one to ten scale of content/comfort in this new role. I do like my commute that is for sure! More so, I like the opportunities ahead. I could tell you more but I read Megan's update today and really, it put things in perspective for me again. At the end of the day....we are still another day older and another day closer to the next thing rather that be marriage, death, sickness, promotion or victory in some form. And, still, God is there directing our steps. I am so grateful that He goes before me. Let Megan's moms' words penetrate deep.
And happy cindo de mayo! Mexican food makes me drool and tonight will be our third encounter in three days. Content/comfort factor just shot up to an eleven remembering my dinner plans for the evening!
Enjoy. And please keep her and her strong family in your prayers. They need it for sure.
.........
40 May 05, 2008 at 03:26 PM EDT
It is May 5th and a beautiful morning in Atlanta. Megan holds on to life, taking such subtle steps of decline that we hardly notice – and for that we are grateful. Her morning smile is all we need to give us energy for the day. Outside the May garden is becoming a celebration of blooms – roses, irises, dianthus, and peonies. I will try – again - to upload some photos for you to be here with us.
And today is Cinco de Mayo as Dr. Feelgood reminded me when we planned tonight’s dinner. I am thinking we will celebrate Mexico’s victory over the French with chicken enchiladas with extra cilantro and lime (see you at 7:30 Owen!). Needless to say, we look for little things to celebrate. I do credit Dr. Feelgood for always finding something – even May 5th - to celebrate. When Megan was in the hospital, the nurses said our room looked like a French cafĂ© when he would bring candles, flowers, and carryout from Meg’s favorite restaurants. Who wants mystery meat when you can have a crab cake?
Saturday, we celebrated at the wedding of a good friend – such a celebration of love and beauty. It was a gift to be a guest and part of such a joy-filled occasion. I teared up only out of love for my friend who was a beautiful, radiant bride. Tears can flow when celebrating just as easily as they can when in sorrow. I read somewhere that they are the heart’s deepest expression when there are no words. It seems I am losing my vocabulary.
If we examine closely, we all find ourselves somewhere between celebration and sorrow, light and dark, life and death. The big moments of life – birth, death, marriage, anniversaries, and achievements – even Cinco de Mayo! – all seem to mark the years, but the day-to-day is where our obedience steps and in and decides if we will face the day with celebration or sorrow – glass half-full or half-empty, counting our blessings or complaining in spite of so many.
Even during this, our darkest hour (or I could say year), we seem to be celebrating in ways that carry us through our sorrow. Oh, not in fireworks and fanfare, but just in the simple everyday events sprinkled with love and tears. Family life is strong, friendships have never been deeper, and God stays by our side. Mostly, He is silent, but as He watches over and cares for Megan His presence is felt while we wait upon Him.
The good news is that sorrow for the believer in Christ always ends in celebration – and that is something to celebrate. Death does not have a victory for those who trust in the Lord. God’s ability to restore life is beyond my understanding. I just have to trust it and wait for it. I have to trust that God is restoring Megan for His purposes and one day I will say, “Oh, so that is why you needed her at the age of 26.” But I confess I continue to remind God that I think it would help just to have a glimmer of His plans now – just a peek. But like the old song says, “Farther along, we’ll know all about it, Farther along, we’ll understand why; cheer up my brother, walk in the sunlight, We’ll understand it - by and by.”
And in the meantime, we will try our best to celebrate today.
Viva! el Cinco de Mayo!
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