Where do you begin....

When everything in your world seemed to change in a week where do you even begin to say where you are? Oh, how I could sit and "talk" to you for days about the change in my heart, the cool fall weather, and the assured presence of not just a God who loves me but a God who is still writing my story....despite my lack of trust at times.
Last week I learned of my friend, Megan's passing as I was on the boat with friends and the stars danced and John Mayer soothed in the background. It was there that God literally reached down and stole my heart and assured me that He had a purpose for me, too. Later that weekend I literally "bumped" into a stranger who may not end up being a part of this story but he was a fresh reminder at the right time that God was before me and believed in my purpose here in this life. How can it be that one minute life is as you know it and literally within an introduction to someone or a reading of a text message or the awareness of sudden life change that things are just like it sounds....forever different? Like if you were drawing the path of events - one minute you are going NorthWest and literally within a flash you are veering due East? Needless to say, I am so grateful that this is how things come about... this is how change comes. Literally, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away and I am so grateful that He does even if we can't even begin to understand it.
So, that is where I am. God has stolen my heart again though no circumstance has changed....yet. God has shown me through a life lost that my life is fragile and that people around me are impacted by me and my attitude despite how isolated I feel. Megan's life was felt by so may but not only in her leaving this world - it was felt before hand in hand written, personalized notes - several that I will never let go of. It was felt through her joy just being the way God made her - creative, genuine, and with a desire to teach others. I know it is easy to look at the death of someone near and vow for as long as you can to live life meaningfully. I have no super human powers that you dont have so I have done the same thing. And I know soon enough the hard knocks of life will try to knock me down a little but I do know one thing - Megan's journey will always be a place I can remember and literally feel God's hand writing a story. More so, I will remember what I prayed under the stars, in the dark, on the water last Saturday when I learned of her news....God dance over her right now and welcome her. I know that you are saying "Well done my good and faithful servant." I can not imagine how those words might really sound but they break me every time I think of them lately. This is where I am today...in a new place.

More so, my precious grandaddy is not doing well. The yucky Alzheimer's disease is literally taking everything away from him. My Nana continues to love on him so beautifully and it is the perfect picture of unconditional love. Part of me wants to apologize for being so sappy on here today but I just know someone needs to hear of both Megan's life and the unconditional love of my Nana. More so, someone needs to read about the hope I have found through a season of a stinky mess in trying to figure out my identity. My true identity - not the one that I have created but the real one, the genuine one, the one that gives me life rather than slowly sucking it out of me. I am fully present now and more able to experience this type of love that Nana is just so good at...it's just her way.

I know this is a big season in our lives.. in mine and Brad's life and in my family's life. Amid the change ahead I have never felt so much quiet joy in my heart. I feel right where I am supposed to be even as I long for things to be different. I am right where I am supposed to be and God is right before me putting people in my way, the fall weather as a reminder of change, and even books in the way to encourage me. I just have to tell you this to - I need you to do something - today. You need to shut down the computer and if you are so lucky to walk to the Borders in the 78 degree weather than do so. But get there and buy this book and read it by the weekend. It's a true story and it has so many fun thoughts about the South so I am sure most of you readers could relate. You won't regret it. Rarely do I tell you you have to do something so do it. It's called Same Kind of Different as Me. No thank you's, please.

Okay, the famous dog is in his new favorite spot on the porch overlooking Peachtree just watching the cars whirl by. He seems to bark at convertibles. I don't get it. Maybe he knows that's where the good times are? He is so happy too that God just reached on down and picked my little heart up and gave it a little kiss and a wink and put it right back where it needed to be...I can tell. He is soo happy!