Just let me sleep!

This is the 5th night in a row that the little mango (though today "they" say he is the size of a large mango - 1 pound to be exact) inside won't stop dancing. During the day it comforts me to feel him jiggling. I know he is happy and nourished. It's at night when I just want to punch him! Don't call in help...I wouldn't really. More than his upper cuts and "roger-rabbit" moves are the hormones that have me stirring all night long. So tonight I didn't even attempt sleep. Amos is snoring in the corner and if I wanted to embarrass sweet sleeping Brad I'd tell you about his slight "hard breathing" habits he has picked up - but I won't embarrass him. But me - wide awake. Wondering about my brothers and what they are doing? Do they feel too young to be uncles? Does my sister know how much I love her? I didn't tell her today. Will Obama rid America of capitalism? Surely there are people that will stop this. Does Amos like the flavor of his overpriced organic food? Is it really organic? And finally - tonight I wonder if the myth about heartburn during pregnancy equalling a head of hair is true because if that is so we have a woolly mammoth on our hands!

Why in the world am I not sleeping these days? I go to bed not tired and on lucky nights I do eventually fall into weird dreams - never what feels like restful sleep - only to be awakened at 3:13am for a few hours of hair raising questions. What would it feel like to ride a rapid in a river with no raft? Seriously, that was last night's. I atleast wish I woke up with an insatiable craving because I'd be fine heading over to Publix for a fix. No cravings. No pickles and ice cream just non-stop questioning. Am I really going to be a mom? I don't even feel like a wife yet. I hate folding clothes. I don't feel like a hard worker or phenomenal employee. Today I worked four different jobs with four different incomes but I still had time for two walks with Amos and some downtime in between. I should write a book - I know......"How to make money and stay fit in a down economy." Boring. I certainly don't feel like a mother - not a bit, yet. Nor do I feel like I am able to really excel at anything right now....just average at a whole lot of things. It's hard feeling like a daughter when I am about to have a child of my own. So I feel like one confused and over-educated mall worker just looking to meet a new friend who might have a word or two of insight. I think I drive my co-workers nuts. I talk to everyone about everything every single opportunity and I always have to mention that there is a baby onboard. Maybe I am just trying it out.....like if I talk about it now it will seep into my psyche and one day I'll sleep and wake up and feel ready!

As I said.....I certainly don't feel like a mom. My mama would literally do anything for her children. Did this come natural to her? I would love to want to do anything for anybody but when it comes down to it ugly things like pride and such get in the way. Mama is a busy lady but whenever you call you'd think she was waiting for the ringer to go off and she just happened to know the right answer to any question. I mean who ever concluded that a Reece's peanut butter cup and a Coke cured every illness! I don't know those things. Brad asked me recently when a woman learns those "mom" type things when he overheard me asking mama how to bake chicken in the same coversation as how to un-stink the laundry that I stank up by forgetting about it for 3 days. I said - you just know. So, God tonight, please help me just to know that things will work out. Help me to trust that You will make me adequate and that you will expand my heart to love two men and an Amos. What if my heart won't go that big? Or is that just natural. And because this seems to lurk around every corner throughout my day - help me to know that You know and that is all that matters. You know whether there is a career you have for me that will allow me to be a mom, too. You know whether I am needed to just fully love and dote on an infant all day long. You know where we should live and if we should buy a house and how the market will do to maintain Brad's job. I am not one to worry but I sure am one to plan and in this season I do know that God is just not letting me plan. Hence the restless hours at night I am sure. Okay, go to bed. Trust God. Listen to the furry dog and the sweet husband snore and rest. This is a season of rest if I would just stop fighting it......

++++++++

All my favorite things are "mini!"

Last week mama and I ventured into a foreign land and I don't know that I care to ever go back. It was a huge place with options galore - too many options - and lots of funny looking women waddling around. Admittedly, we were very impatient with the robot like workers who tried to make our stay there as "easy" as possible - they claim. We were hungry and just wanted to see what this place had to offer.
Here is the one thing that saved this adventure to Babies-R-Us from being a total disaster. Mini Animal Crackers.

I am not kidding. These are little M&M sized Stauffers animal crackers. There is still a giraffe and a hippo and all the animals you are used to but these are itty-bitty. I mean itty-itty-bitty. Before we had made it to the third aisle with our registering gun I had eaten half of the bag and left quite a trail behind me. So the only purchase we walked out with that day was a bag of overpriced yet delectable mini animal crackers.

If you have known me for anytime you know I have a serious problem. Since high school I have had an obsession. No a fixation. Nope a disease....an addiction to Stauffers animal crackers. I used to be embarrassed about this habit. In Athens I would find my car driving me to Wal-Mart at odd hours for no reason yet I always came back with an extra bag just in case. Once I tried to add up the $1.99 a week for the last 10 years just to see how damaging my addiction was to my wallet but I decided if i didn't know - it wasn't true. Yes, I wanted to register for animal crackers on my wedding registry too. I didn't but I would highly consider it for the baby registry. I emailed the company today to see where else in the greater Atlanta area I could find these little bites of joy. I sure hope they respond soon! Keep your eyes open and let me know if you find them anywhere. You will make mommy and growing baby so happy.

Adventures with husband and mama

Here is my husband
Pushing a baby crib
Through the mall
That is my mama too.....
Watching it all.

You might think we are crazy
But we got a great deal
People looked at us funny
Like we were trying to steal.

But now our baby has a place to sleep
He'll like that it is green and white
And that he has an extra large sheep
To sleep with at night.

Recent happenings.....

Amos dressing like a frat boy.


Amos wishing he could be pushed around the neighborhood in the baby's cool new stroller.


The sheep. Soon to be baby's favorite thing - or else Amos' large chew toy.


Mr. Husband and I at the Circus for my birthday (thanks Mama and Dad!)


Our get-away to Cashiers, NC for a perfect New Years!


And.....some of my favorite girls and I out on the 28th anniversary of my birth. I love fried Green Beans and girls night out!

I know you are tired of this....

But you still have 18 more weeks so just give me a little slack. The little man is what they call a "spaghetti squash!" Who in the world gets an accurate picture in their head when you compare my baby to a spaghetti squash! I cooked spaghetti and squash tonight but I never knew the words went together. Anywho....here is a little more and a good post with some juicy updates soon (hopefully something juicy will happen til then otherwise I'll be making it up!) Enjoy.

Hello, Betsy!
At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

It's a big day!

Mama and I are going to register for all things baby today! Woo hoo! I am planning to wear comfy shoes and bring a six pack for the festivities because after just stepping foot into a baby section yesterday in Target I felt overwhelming feelings take over my body. This is a day for history!

And, oh yes, I forgot there is also an inauguration going on.

_ _ _ _ _

But on other important notes......thank you for the sweet birthday messages, calls, texts and cards! I love birthdays and I love celebrating even the not-so-big birthdays and the not-so-big things in life. My family took me to the circus this weekend. Cirque du Solei to be exact. We had such a good time! Brad came home asking if I, too, could contort my body in figure *'s on the floor or if my head could touch my toes by bending over backwards? I am a pretty rare lady I tell him but he should never expect my body to do 1/10th of the stunts we saw. I think he was a little disappointed. Anyway, the whole weekend was just perfect and I am so grateful for a fun birthday weekend!

_ _ _ _ _

And even more importantly, we took our first step towards parenthood this weekend. We bought a stroller but not just any stroller. We bought the stroller of all strollers and a few unneccessary add-ons just to make sure we went overboard. I will post pictures soon of our favorite purchase. It went like this.....I have researched stroller reviews and opinions for the last month. Moreso, I did some looking on Craigslist and Ebay to find the best deal. I take Brad on Saturday to see the strollers. He sees all 40 of them. Touches one that I point at and says, "let's do it." What?????? Months of researching and that is all it takes for him? Needless to say, we come home with a fun new stroller courtesy of his South Georgia grandparents. Brad put the stroller in every position. He took off all the straps and locks and tags. He moved the seat to every position. He placed Amos in the basket and even looked for a child lying around to take on a walk. Had we enough time I am positive he would have strolled the neighborhood - baby or no baby. I am so happy for our first purchase! It will be hard to look at it over the next 4 months as it sits in the living room waiting for baby to come. If anyone has a child to borrow for a day we would be thrilled to stroll him/her in our new stroller! Take us up on it.

Okay, off to start this BIG day! Babies-R-Us = INSANITY!!!