dance dance revelations

Wednesday night Brad and I stayed up way too late watching the last 8 contestants on So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD).
Then I leaped into our bedroom into a full split. It was beautiful. I twisted my knee.

Yesterday I spent half of my wee-early morning hours (benefit of not being able to sleep) downloading music that makes me dance. You know, all of the songs from Dirty Dancing and Chris Brown's latest "Forever." You can not help but pump your arms and hop on your toes to his song.

Last night Brad and I tempted to do do something we used to do.....NOT watch tv and instead play scrabble. We had a grand time. I won. I won real bad. Confession: I had SYTYCD in the background. I just can't help it. I am addicted to dancing these days. Both in the physical and spiritual way. I know, you normally wouldn't think of dancing in any context especially if you grew up Baptist but let me carry on....you may catch a glimpse.....

And, I almost forgot... also last night, pre-Scrabble slash SYTHYD, Brad and I went on a leisurely run if you will. He ran. Amos pouted because Brad made him wear his new harness while running. I danced. I leaped over the bushes and spun onto Peachtree street my hands pumping in the air. Yep, you saw me. No shame. After about 4 minutes on our "run" I was spent and I had only danced through "Forever" one time. Needless to say, I enjoyed the run with my boys but in my head I was just dancing down the street. I was letting my mind dream and desire and twirl without stopping it to pull it back to reality. Don't misunderstand...it's not that reality is something I am trying to escape but my normal conscious state doesn't give me too much room to fall or messup. This is certainly an exhausting way to live! Hence my need to let my mind dance and leap and fall and bounce and spin shamelessly and without restriction.

Well, it's Friday and after getting some work done this morning and making some moves on the "I NEED A NEW JOB" front I decided that I would let Friday dance all over me. "Friday, have your way with me," I said this morning, and she has! A dear friend and I sat for several hours this morning as I think God just danced about us. We talked of our Identities.....or the one's we have claimed for so many years.... and of the valley's we both seem to be feeling in this journey called life. We sipped yummy coffee and we didn't look at the time. We thanked Our Creator for even this time where He seems to be mute as it relates to our careers and our passions. She read me a poem of T.S. Elliot's. I have to find it to paste it here for you. It was the perfect reminder that God is dancing over us, celebrating and rejoicing even as we are being refined and still.

After the perfect time with my friend I went off to the gym for a workout of sorts. It included me, my ipod, my new dancing songs and a mirror. Use your imagination but just know it ended with me.....feeling fully free.....fully alive.....fully loved...and fully energized and pooped. There is just something about dancing for me that truly strips away my inhibitions (this may not be a good thing) and strips away the walls that seem to guard my ego and my pride. As I have always said in these blogs....when I am dancing throughout the house during the day - I know God is alive in me and I know it is going to be a good day!

Some of my soul searching lately has allowed me to go back and write some stories of things that I did in my childhood. Many of the stories tell of my entrepreneurial spirit....always selling something whether it is a "By-Order-Only-Puffy-Painted-sweatshirt" or a week at kids camp in my basement. In my Tampa days my neighbor Allison and I would put on shows in our front yard to the entire Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Our poor parents! We would charge $2 for neighbors to come see our show. It consisted mostly of strip teasing and a few leaps.....of course our Innocense didn't know at the time that this is what we were doing....and charging for it! Allison and I always lead the crew while the other neighborhood kids and our siblings followed behind us. Remember, I have never claim to be attention starved. So, I was 7 and I always had the finale where I started in my bathing suit and a tutu (but some how I always lost the tutu mid dance) and I would dance with really no set routine until my tape player ran out of batteries. Poor neighbors! Thinking back I can't imagine the torture that my parents and their friends had to endure every other weekend but I am grateful they let me do my thing. As you can tell, I love to re-imagine this story in my recent years. I think there is a ton of truth to looking to your early years for things that inspire you.

It's funny because it seems I have been through countless personality tests in my corporate years and often an exercise will ask what it is that I wanted to be as a child. I wanted to dance in the Walt Disney world parades...that's all. Ask my mom. Anyway, I never really gave that answer in the corporate world because it seemed a little silly. But now, at the inquisitive and reflective age of 27 I think there is some truth to my child hood dreams. Dancing.... even the not-so-good dancing that I do makes me the most happy. God, I hope you see me dancing around the house and around my favorite Brookhaven places today and I hope that You are pleased. More so, I hope you feel how my heart dances when I think of You and all that You are to me. I adore You. Thank You for giving me a reason to dance this week. Thank you for allowing me to feel joy and energy even in this valley. Thank you for dancing over me today.

Happy Friday!

P.S. - I am in love with Amos dog! He thinks I am a little crazy when I kick ball chain my way into the kitchen to get his water but really, I think he feels my happiness and is happy too. I love Mr Amos, "The famous dog!"