80 degree weather and a bebe on the way....

Breaking news...I didn't sleep last night. Not that you are overly concerned or losing sleep over my loss of sleep but I feel the need to preface anything I write with that disclaimer. Hence, the lack of sense that I might make during my ramblings and the influx of unnecessary emotions over things seemingly un-emotional. I AM SO TIRED!!!! I don't know what to do about this, really. I refuse to take drugs during these last weeks of pregnancy. It is more of a challenge to myself rather than any crazy medical concerns. As you already know - I lay awake at night and write every list of every book I need to read, thing to return, and list to make. Then I start figuring out how I might do all these things before the baby comes and then I realize that I have no control over when the baby comes so he could come tomorrow and then what would I lay awake and think about??? I have a small feeling that his arrival is going to crash on someone's party so it may as well be my own party...crash my attempt to plan anything! If it's not my party then it is sure to be one of my siblings. Poor things.....my oldest brother completes 4 years of treacherous work in medical school and graduates May 7th and 8th so I think his festivities should be in the clear. Baby brother, Carter, walks down Sanford stadium stairs to get his coveted UGA business degree on the 9th and though I plan to be in attendance - I really hope baby does not. Then of course Mothers Day is May 10th and I just really look forward to showering my mama on that day (and my mama in law and my grandmothers) and no one else. They have all been sooo helpful these last months and I just want to spend their day spoiling them. Well, a week later we take our first and only baby class. Maybe we should have planned to do this earlier than a week from our due date but it is a feat that we are even thinking about going. We tend to think this birth thing is going to be natural and we both hate to sit in an all day class and listen to questions of all the paranoid couples out there in fear of everything that could go wrong. I am sorry if you are that couple and it is okay...it's just not me and Brad. We trust medicine and know ultimately we can not prepare for every detail. None the less, we figured this day of fun could atleast get us in the "birth" mindset. Well, that Tuesday, the 19th, sweet Daddy-Brad turns 28! I love even years and I can't wait for him to be 28 with me. For 4 full months I get haggled about my old age and wisdom until Brad finally catches up to me. Though I know people say it would be neat/ironic/cool to share a birthday with your child...it wouldn't! Brad needs his own day to be celebrated so Baby B - let's not go for the 19th. Lastly, my wittle baby seester graduates from high school on the morning of the 23rd. This is always a steaming hot, fun-filled occasion with blow horns, banners and back flips as kids walk down the aisle representing the first in their family to graduate. It's always very entertaining and as I said ...HOT! I, again, plan to be in attendance but I just don't want any horror stories of water breaking as I am in a crowd of people...especially many of my old high school teachers and parents of old friends. Oh, and that night I am in one of my dearest friends' weddings. For real. I hope to make this occasion but yet again I can just see me - the size of a small house - in a brides maids dress - walking down the aisle or rather, waddling and then GUSH!!!! (Sorry for the graphic details)....so we'll just have to see how things are progressing as the time draws near.

So, Baby, do you feel me....anytime after the night of the 23rd would be dandy. You would have no one else to share with and the least amount of chaos would result with your properly timed arrival. I know there is zero control over this so I know this is just a humorous post of me trying to plan...yet again. And the truth is....I like him in there. I like feeling his knee as I eat lunch. I like feeling him squirm to and fro as I try to fall fast asleep. And I like our family of 3. Amos tends to like our little threesome too. He has followed me around the condo the last few weeks as I scurry to get things in place and you can see it on his face....."what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on around here...give me some normalcy, please!" I know as April closes and the flowers start to burst and temperature continues to climb so will my tolerance for this life inside of me and I will be ready....we will be ready for him to join us. We are praying for his perfect timing and perfect health despite my silly rants and seeming resistance to this new adventure.

If you want to help guess Baby B's birth date and statistics check out this poll and let us know what you think!

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In T minus two hours I begin my new job. I have been excited about this for weeks. I even bought a new little outfit and I began this morning printing off any materials I will need to perform well on my first day. I only have a two hour shift today and that happens to come with lunch and snacks! This is my kind of work.
You see, a few weeks ago I was forwarded an email asking for some participants in a study. Specifically, the opinion of a pregnant woman who happens to be having her first child was needed. Check and check. How thrilled was I to read the qualifications and know that my obnoxious belly and fears of being a first time mom actually qualified me for something other than an upfront parking spot at Publix and an open invitation for strangers to rub my belly. I immediately followed up to the email and today I will be a professional opinionated pregnant lady for two hours....and I get paid and fed!
A dear friend of mine told me about a year ago about the business of surveying. She signs up all the time to take surveys about anything and everything....kids toys, car safety, local restaurants...you name it and she gives her opinion and gets a small paycheck for her time. Now this friend is my most creative friend, especially when it comes to making and saving money. (She also happens to create the most delectable cupcakes to be found.) I often am pushing her to gather all of her many stupendous ideas and package them for women like me who tend to pay full price for everything just to not have to hassle with shopping for a bargain. Anyway, she was the second person to mention this "career" of survey-taking. Another incredibly smart and crafty friend also told me of her success with surveying for a little extra spending money. She, too, has started her own unique company in her little spare time and she knows how to find the perfect little thing for your home or your wardrobe. I just love my resourceful friends and I love when their habits begin to wear off on me. So, thank you to Lauren and Nicole I have considered survey taking as my new career. I have plenty of time atleast for the next month and everyone has an opinion, right? That will probably be the hard part for a people pleaser like me. Often I find myself still wondering how I really like my eggs or what I really should name this child but I just don't have a strong opinion about too many things. Or rather I do but I am not good at owning it just yet....but maybe this is a new beginning! So, today's work will consist of a few hours of answering questions about baby registries and baby products. I am certainly no expert at all on this subject nor do I ever hope to be but I'll certainly enjoy a free lunch and a little gab time with other crazy pregnant women like myself.
I have already been prescreened for another survey in the coming weeks about the effects of advertising for certain products. I could get use to these office hours for sure!

______

And on other notes, our Baby-fish is 35 weeks old this week! I am not sure his "fruit" size yet but supposedly he is upwards of 5.5 lbs and nearly 20 inches long. His knee is always in my side these days so we play this little game where I push him to the other side and then he pushes back. He surely does entertain me throughout the day! Daddy Bagwell and I go to a Baby Essentials class today...you know, it's the basics I guess....diaper changing, bathing, feeding. Brad and I never do well in these settings. We end up talking and catching up the whole time and making fun of all the other "normal" people in the room. We love to think that we know what we are doing and we don't really "need" the class like all other normal people do. I am secretly excited though...we have yet to really embrace any professional advise about this whole pregnancy thing so it will feel good to think we actually did a little homework and sought a little professional help. I can't wait, too, to see Brad's reaction to diapers and formula and all the baby fun stuff!

_____

And on other other notes.....way to go Miss California. Here is one thing that has sparked a definite opinion in me. Though I don't think she answered the MIss USA question very well I do applaud her for not giving a PC answer just to please everyone. She sure is stealing the spotlight even without the crown just for speaking her opinion so good for her. I think it is about time for people to stop being so PC about everything. I don't think you have to go around stirring controversy or pressing your opinion on anyone but I just hate the "neutral" stance that every politician or leader tends to take these days. This Sunday at church Andy began a sermon series that was very un-Andy to me. He actually began to open a can of worms regarding his opinion on our involvement as Christians in the debate that he says is most important....our political conscious. It was so refreshing to hear the church begin to speak to the community about our national conscious and the lack there of.... I am interested to hear next weeks concluding message. If you have 30+ minutes check this out.

God and Country message - Part 1

4am already??? HELP!

My sweet email reminding me kindly that I am pregnant just arrived. Gosh, I had almost forgotten. It tells me today that in the 34th week the alien in my stomach with a constant hip in my rib cage and foot on my bladder is now the size of "your average cantaloupe." Why, thank you Babycenter for the perfect picture of the little guy. I think they have their melon's mixed up because I am sure "watermelon" is the better term. Officially this week this thing has taken over my life. My sleep cuts short nightly around 4am with the first punch to the ribs. Then after a few "stop drop and rolls" in the belly he settles. I turn sides and he wakes up again and starts playing kickball to my bladder. After the third night of this I finally got out of bed last night and moved to the couch. Sweet Amos followed me into the other room and laid at my feet just wondering what I was up to at the odd hour. Falling back asleep isn't an option. Once I am a week the endless "To-Get-Done" list swarms my head. Learn how to breathe, address thank you notes, find a pediatrician, remember to breathe (literally. Can Babycenter send me an email reminder about this too? I need it right now), locate Cadbury milk chocolate eggs that are left over from Easter because they are my favorite and they are seasonal (this is truly what the line on the list reads). Now, I know this sounds ludicrous but truly at 4:43am this morning I was scouring the internet to find a way to order them. It's not that I am even craving them at the wee hours.... It is more that I become OBSESSED with taking care of things and this seemed like a thing I could actually tackle. Other things to note that make their way onto the margins of my list: finish BabyWise book, find a "push" present for Brad (he deserves one too right?), clean base boards in the condo, buy a mattress for the babys crib (this one is essential and Brad says needs to take priority), paint toes and keep them pretty and painted just in case (a girls gotta have pretty toes if that is what you get to look at during the laboring hours, right?), go to lunch with girls (as if I won't get to do anything at all once baby arrives.....), take Amos to dog park, clean out t-shirt drawer, make sure car seat clips in car easily (you can't leave the hospital unless you have done this first) and the list goes on and on and never ever seems to get any shorter no matter the piddling around town I do during the day. All the while, 3pm comes and I am a zombie! We are now operating on 5.5 hours in the last two nights together and really, I fear going to sleep tonight foreseeing that this pattern has just begun. I shouldn't be surprised....Babycenter's email today told me to expect fatigue. Thank you again. I am glad I have some cyber friend in this with me reminding me just how lovely all of these feelings are and when they will be coming.

So maybe that sounded like a pity party. It isn't. I am just sooo tired that I can't think straight and I know it is only going to get worse from here. Atleast in a month or so I'll have a buddy to stare at me in the middle of the night when other people think sleep is best. And I know then that I will have forgotten about all of these crazy pregnancy phases. I know then that the joy of seeing a real life that grew inside of me is just going to blow me away. Really, It seems like I am preparing for someone to break my heart - and that in itself is exhausting. This little thing that kicks and hiccups and punches and has me staring at the ceiling at nights is going to absolutely rob me of any pride or selfishness that lives in my body. He is going to truly break my heart into little bitty baby pieces for the good. Any "wall" I may have been maintaining is sure to be shattered as I watch the innocence and dependence of this little boy stare up at me with deep, wondering eyes. Maybe that is my problem right now.....I am rebelling against this foreseen "heartbreak." I am trying with all my might to be tough and to go-go-go and to do-do-do before baby comes and sweeps me off my feet. And just as I resist the apparent changes God continues to push things out of my heart to make room for a little 7lb(we hope) bundle of boy. My priorities seem to be shifting whether or not I like it one bit. My body is not my own and I can finally no longer fight that and as sure as I try to with a workout or a fast walk the baby wins and hits me with a body slam to the bladder. So, yes, I sound confused. I am wildly crazy about the little guy already and I just know that his coming is going to totally change me and the way I see anything...forever. And though ultimately I welcome these changes.....of course there is a little of me that is just fighting and fighting until the exhaustion sets in and I just can't fight anymore. I am taking a nap - or maybe just staring at the ceiling but nonetheless, the "to-do" list can wait. My baby and my body needs a break.

A few firsts

Brad and I just returned from the most amazing Baby-moon along the Emerald Coast. We slept, read, ate, snuggled on the beach because it was so cold, ate some more and laughed our whole way through the short vacation. It was so needed though! With the current economic craziness surrounding us and everyone else we know along with the anticipation of a new member of the family....the perfect storm of exhaustion has been brewing. I was so happy to steal Brad from the stresses of a job at a bank and get him to the sand and the sea. He looked like a new man going back to the office this morning. So... a few highlights of the trip?
*I wasn't walking on my hands but somehow 2 inches on the underside of my belly are fried! Literally, there is a strip of red under my belly button. I can't see it but I sure can feel it and the pain is slowly convincing me that my tolerance for discomfort is non-existent. This is great news with labor on the way! I guess my make-do maternity bathing suit didn't quite make it over the bump and the sun got the best of me. This was the first time I have ever burnt the underside of my belly and yes, the first and last time I will ever grace a beach 33 weeks pregnant!
*Amos the Famous dog stayed at grandma's while we were away. This was our first time leaving him for more than a night and I am embarrassed to say how hard it was to see him drive off towards the country. What is more sad is that I think he enjoyed the free roaming and the playing so much that he will now not look at me or Brad and has yet to eat anything or even give me a small tail wag. Brad asked how hard it would be to leave the little guy when we go away if it was this hard to leave Amos. I think it was harder to leave Amos truly. Are we obsessed with this dog? Maybe.
*The first signs of true discomfort have shown up at my door step. Baby is out of room and 80% of the day he is stomping grapes on my bladder and throwing elbows to my ribs. This makes for an aggravated sleep, sit position, dining experience and anything else. I like feeling his little back bone at the top of my belly or an occasional protrusion of his booty but that's all I need to know he is okay. The stomping and punching is just absurd and I've gotten to where I poke him back! Can he really get any bigger over the next 7+ weeks when there really isn't any room? And for anyone whose been pregnant.....did you not think that around week 30 you would feel like the end is near? I mean 30 is so close to 40? But really, 7 or more weeks sounds like an eternity! Luckily, Brad and I have a few books to conquer before he makes his debut so I know we will be busy.
*First time I have ever received a phone call from the US Embassy.
*First and best babymoon with Brad and my first time at the beach in 40 degree weather.
*Yes, back to the Embassy thing......Here's the cliff notes version. My brother, his girlfriend, and another couple are travelling about Italy for 10 days. They arrived in Rome Sunday morning and that is all we knew. We wake up early Monday a.m. to a call from my dad alarming us of the tragic earthquake in Rome, Italy....atleast that is how the news reported. The devastation is just awful and so far nearly 200+ people have died. So you can imagine the tension around the condo Monday a.m. as we are trying to find anyway to locate our travelling friends. Mind you, the earthquake happened nearly 24 hours before so there was plenty of time for us to hear they were okay...if they were okay. So after a morning of scouring the internet for news and trying to find anyone that knew where they were....I call the U.S. Embassy in Rome. At the time this was the only logical thing to do. The sultry sounding Italian woman assured me that the devastation began 30 miles east of Rome and as long as they were in Rome they should be fine. To add to the tension - the hotel that we learned they may be staying wasn't answering. This was truly one of the longest mornings of my life and I kicked into a constant state of prayer/worry as that was all I knew to do. Anyway, I get a call back from the U.S. Embassy assuring me that no American fatalities had been noted. This certainly eased our minds and we tried to go about the day. Finally about 12pm my dear brother texts. "We're okay. Yall are crazy."
Crazy or not - we were finally relieved and quite humored. Here is the email from the hotel in Italy. I can't help but chuckle thinking of the little Italian women writing me back amid a beautiful day in Rome. All I can say is.....my mothering instinct is attacking me! My worry factor is out the roof and my emotions are constantly seeking something to cry over. Help! I want my body back!

Dear Betsy

Fortunately there were no damages after earthquake in Rome. Matthew
N***** is staying in a quad room with us and he is ok
Best regards
Onne

----- Original Message -----
From: "Betsy Bagwell"
To:
Sent: Monday, April 06, 2009 3:04 PM
Subject: US visitors okay during quake?


> We are trying to locate US visitors that are supposed to be staying here.
> Please let us know any info.
>
> Visitors:
> Matthew
> Marie
> Josh
> Michal