Oh no she didn't

Wanted: Middle-aged, brassy-haired woman in mommy jeans (but she obviously wasn't a mommy) and a horrific Christmas sweater. She is located somewhere inside the Perimeter I assume and if found you don't even have to turn her in. Just throw an egg at her and steal her parking lot and tell her that is from her "friend" at Publix.

I spent half the morning yesterday bundling the little boys to face the frigid temperatures outside. We layered and gloved and hatted everyone and then even changed my clothes from pajamas. It took me 15 minutes just to get their things together to even walk out to door and then just as I was about to load up the eldest bundled child threw himself on the hardwoods repeating "ah, ah, ah" which in toddler talk is OFF! I normally wouldn't have let this little fit get to me but I was ready to get out the door and I thought I'd play the parenting game that many often play which goes something like "fine, have your way and see how that works for you (in the 24 degree weather)". So, one layer of clothing comes off along with the hat and gloves. Mind you, he still has two layers and he proved me wrong as the whole morning he didn't care a bit that it was a little chilly.

Skip to yesterday afternoon. I, again, spent 30 minutes gathering all of their "things" to get out the door so I could actually buy some toilet paper for my house guest last night. I mean, paper towels are okay for me in dire situations but not for the house guest. Before I had kids I never noticed the obnoxious themed grocery carts that toted kids around the store but now I am the obnoxious lady with the obtrusive grocery cart full of kids and usually very few groceries. Yesterday's trip was as quick as can be but it was long enough to push the same kicking toddler from earlier to his limits. By the last aisle he was chucking groceries on top of his helpless brother who was sitting in the infant carrier in the basket part of the buggy. It was all I could do to get out of the store without him throwing every grocery item out of the cart and just as I was awkwardly flying out of the store in the "airplane" for a grocery cart (which there is nothing not-awkward and bulky about those things) this lady (the one from above) sent my blood pressure soaring. First, she looked at me as I was going through the sliding doors like I had pink hair and no clothes on. It's just children, lady.....and didn't your mama always tell you to not make such a nasty face or your face might stay like that!And then, as I passed her through the doors she went there. "Those kids need some more clothing on in this weather!" (My blood pressure just shot up again)

I'm just going to end there. I can't possibly write the thoughts that went through my head and the things I wanted to say. They were so bad. Luckily, I took the high road but I haven't forgotten this woman. Beware, oh-highwatered, highwaisted, mommy jean wearing, mean lady, you are not nice.

For the love.....