My quick apologies...kind of

Many of you started reading this little snapshot of a life with two kids and a husband in the city because there were pretty pictures and usually a pretty self-humiliating story of a time I stuck my foot in my mouth or thought everyone around me was thinking the same thing but they weren't. Plus, who doesn't love two chubby babies and a good laugh? All the reasons to be a fast fan. Until lately, right...

My tendency is to apologize for the lack of snapshot's and anecdotes of late but I know deep down I am not even supposed to apologize because as I have said all along, but actually understand now after walking though the "desert" (as the book I am reading has so labeled it) - this is my story but it isn't a story .....and I can't apologize for that. It is God's story for me. And I know with everything I am that I am here to be a part of that story and not my own even if it couldn't be more different than I would have written.

So, I'm sorry only if I have mislead you to think that the life of a wife and stay at home mama is without trial or without challenge. Fortunately, life isn't all recipes and funny videos of toddlers - it's more rich, more tasty, more satisfying, and much more entertaining ...even if it is messier than many blogs or facebook updates would suggest. I have struggled with wanting to apologize for not being your ray of sunshine each day or the girl that I like to read about on my daily blog-scroll, too, but I am confident that this current season for us will be a testament to someone somewhere sometime so I can't fully apologize.

I continue to pray that God would use my nights of sleeplessness and now the surrounding anxiety in a way that far surpass the weariness and exhaustion I may feel. He has already taught us so much about my true faith, my real convictions, my soulmate and his amazing response to us being tested, and what life really is all about.

Tired but hopeful,
BB