http://www.expectnet.com/games/BrooksBabyBroBday
This was too much fun last year to follow along as our friends and family weighed in our Brooks' birth stats so we thought we'd play again with little bro.
Dinner to the guess that comes closest (though it may be several months down the road before you can enjoy your winnings!)
Thanks for always encouraging us and standing beside us even if you think we are crazy! Cast your vote here.
Friday, June 11, 2010
The word I didn't think I was saying yet
But obviously I say it all the time.
"No, no."
Tuesday while exploring my mom's house Brooks walked to the door and shook his head and said, "No, no." Just like that. Not a one time "no" but "no, no," the exact way I have realized I say the little phrase.
I really didn't think Brooks was at the age that I was having to say this that often and really anytime I say it I try to think of another way of deterring the strong willed little boy without always having to say those words. The boy is 12.5 months not 2, keep in mind. Innocence is supposed to last atleast until the terrible two's right?
So sure enough the last three days have been spent listening to the angel-boy say "No, no," to everything good and bad for him all the while shaking his head furiously. Oh boy...pass me a cigarette,
I'm kidding. I have the patience of Job since I am all of 31 weeks pregnant, itching, not sleeping and about to topple over. Sorry for the sarcasm. I do pray every morning though that I will have patience that is surely not my own and that will overcome any testy situation the hot days are bringing. I really don't want to miss these precious last few months with our only child. I get emotional every time Brooks looks at me with his pleading blue eyes and reaches his hands up to me. In a few months will I already be holding another little baby and not be able to reach down and pick up my first born? Will he then learn to do everything on his own and slowly start to find little need for me? Somehow my nostalgia surrounding these final months as a family of 3 has done alot for my patience. I am much more tolerant than I would have ever imagined being in this "predicament" with a curious-George around. But like I've said from the very beginning - I don't want to miss ANYTHING. I don't want to miss even the days where it seems like Brooks has the Independence of a 5 year old and the stubbornness of his daddy! I don't want to miss the time we get to talk while I change his inexplicably terrible diapers. I really don't - and I don't even want to miss the period of time where he throws his food on the floor as if he is feeding the ducks at the pond and telling me "no, no" as I try to shove another piece of banana in his mouth. He loves bananas! That's the funny part.....he is so thrilled by his new phrase that he would say no to cotton candy and a pony right now! The boy doesn't know what's best for him that's for sure......
The rascal is laying in his bed playing with a blanket as I type and all I can hear is his favorite new seemingly meaningless word being repeated over and over and over and over and over again. I think I'll get my camera and try to record it so that I can "enjoy" even this little phase. I am sure it will be funny one day when he is really telling me no and then trying to hit me. Oh goodness, what am I in for with two of these fellas?
"No, no."
Tuesday while exploring my mom's house Brooks walked to the door and shook his head and said, "No, no." Just like that. Not a one time "no" but "no, no," the exact way I have realized I say the little phrase.
I really didn't think Brooks was at the age that I was having to say this that often and really anytime I say it I try to think of another way of deterring the strong willed little boy without always having to say those words. The boy is 12.5 months not 2, keep in mind. Innocence is supposed to last atleast until the terrible two's right?
So sure enough the last three days have been spent listening to the angel-boy say "No, no," to everything good and bad for him all the while shaking his head furiously. Oh boy...pass me a cigarette,
I'm kidding. I have the patience of Job since I am all of 31 weeks pregnant, itching, not sleeping and about to topple over. Sorry for the sarcasm. I do pray every morning though that I will have patience that is surely not my own and that will overcome any testy situation the hot days are bringing. I really don't want to miss these precious last few months with our only child. I get emotional every time Brooks looks at me with his pleading blue eyes and reaches his hands up to me. In a few months will I already be holding another little baby and not be able to reach down and pick up my first born? Will he then learn to do everything on his own and slowly start to find little need for me? Somehow my nostalgia surrounding these final months as a family of 3 has done alot for my patience. I am much more tolerant than I would have ever imagined being in this "predicament" with a curious-George around. But like I've said from the very beginning - I don't want to miss ANYTHING. I don't want to miss even the days where it seems like Brooks has the Independence of a 5 year old and the stubbornness of his daddy! I don't want to miss the time we get to talk while I change his inexplicably terrible diapers. I really don't - and I don't even want to miss the period of time where he throws his food on the floor as if he is feeding the ducks at the pond and telling me "no, no" as I try to shove another piece of banana in his mouth. He loves bananas! That's the funny part.....he is so thrilled by his new phrase that he would say no to cotton candy and a pony right now! The boy doesn't know what's best for him that's for sure......
The rascal is laying in his bed playing with a blanket as I type and all I can hear is his favorite new seemingly meaningless word being repeated over and over and over and over and over again. I think I'll get my camera and try to record it so that I can "enjoy" even this little phase. I am sure it will be funny one day when he is really telling me no and then trying to hit me. Oh goodness, what am I in for with two of these fellas?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Not kidding
If fishing two miniature chocolate covered peanut butter cups out of the Moose Tracks ice-cream at 7:37 AM is wrong. I don't ever want to be right! Are you with me?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Stay-cation
Brooks and I have taken an impromptu leave of absence for a few days to grandma-Nise's house. The activities have included trips to the pond to feed the ducks, long baths, a trip to the grocery store to buy things I normally don't buy at home, walks around the neighborhood during sunset, a trip to the pool (later today), being treated to good food, and, a sewing lesson or two. That's right - the theme of this stay-cation is "teach my mama to sew." Really, I am sure I could have figured out how to sew a button but when mama asked if I wanted to come over to learn to sew buttons on the 10 outfits of Brooks that have lost buttons - I took her up on it {knowing that would mean I would watch and she would sew.} It's not that I can't sew - it just doesn't interest me the way counting bottle caps, watching paint dry or other more interesting activities do.
So last night we {she} sewed buttons and {I} ate ice cream and that is what I call a pretty relaxing vacation. Brooks got his back rubbed for nearly 30 minutes before bed and I am sure that is what he calls a vacation, too!
I decided yesterday I wouldn't feel guilty about my lack of anything to do for the next several weeks. Of course there are things to do to prepare for this baby but the nesting instinct is far far away this time but I am sure it will come kicking and screaming in a few weeks and then I will busy myself. For today, Brooks and I are going to enjoy each other and the weather and a pool and our last few months of eating for two and any attention anyone wants to give us. And if the only thing we had to do that day is walk to the mailbox - I am not going to feel bad! Thank you, God, for the monotony of a lazy summer day. I feel like I am home from college for the summer but come August I have to get back to the studying - aka; 12 diaper a day, 10 feedings a day routine!
I've even turned the ringer on the phone off for our time away and it sure does help us to feel like we are on island time! Cheers to the laziest summer I can have with a one year old around!!!
So last night we {she} sewed buttons and {I} ate ice cream and that is what I call a pretty relaxing vacation. Brooks got his back rubbed for nearly 30 minutes before bed and I am sure that is what he calls a vacation, too!
I decided yesterday I wouldn't feel guilty about my lack of anything to do for the next several weeks. Of course there are things to do to prepare for this baby but the nesting instinct is far far away this time but I am sure it will come kicking and screaming in a few weeks and then I will busy myself. For today, Brooks and I are going to enjoy each other and the weather and a pool and our last few months of eating for two and any attention anyone wants to give us. And if the only thing we had to do that day is walk to the mailbox - I am not going to feel bad! Thank you, God, for the monotony of a lazy summer day. I feel like I am home from college for the summer but come August I have to get back to the studying - aka; 12 diaper a day, 10 feedings a day routine!
I've even turned the ringer on the phone off for our time away and it sure does help us to feel like we are on island time! Cheers to the laziest summer I can have with a one year old around!!!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Catch up
Happy first Monday in June. Where did May go? And while we're at it, where has 2010 gone? Sometimes this seems like the longest year of my life because we have already lived in two places and Brad has had two jobs and we are thinking about two babies. All of that shouldn't have been able to happen in the span of 5 months but it has and I know one day I will think that it has made us stronger but for now - it has just made us tired and longing for stability and normalcy. I say that not even really knowing what "normal" is anymore and hoping I can just keep embracing the new normal that seems to come each day.
Last night I had a good much needed cry as we crept into our clean sheets (thanks to my amazing mother-in-law) after a long weekend in Charleston. One of my very best friends was married this weekend in the perfect setting in our favorite city. Ever since she boldly asked me to be in her wedding several months ago (knowing I would be way-pregnant and HUGE) I have had this mental date to get to. Up until this weekend, mentally, we were a family of 3, living in Atlanta, slowly adjusting to life with a baby. But I've known in the back of my head that after this wonderful weekend - another baby would join our family very soon. Honestly, I haven't really emotionally accepted this prior to the weekend. I don't know how I do that - block things like babies and such out of my head as if it isn't real? It's a terribly dangerous skill. So as I crawled into bed last night I knew today would be different and the lingering "change" that is so evident to everyone who sees my stomach would soon be very evident to me... and thus, I needed a good cry.
I've been very honest on this blog about this pregnancy. I am often ashamed that I would have such hesitation regarding this new life but I also know that this is me - this is where I am and it is much healthier for me to acknowledge my fear then to paint a peachy picture full of belly photo shots and nursery updates and baby shower joy to those who know me best.
The reason I am able to be so raw with myself is because ultimately, I do fully trust the Lord's plans for me with all of my heart. I can openly say I wouldn't have planned the last two years this way and I can honestly admit that I am not ready for another person to be in our family but I also know that despite my confidence in the plans before us - I know they have been planned and thought about by someone far more capable of knowing what is really best for me and our family. And as I experienced with Brooks, the moment this new person enters the world I know my heart will stretch and grow to have plenty of room to love yet another baby boy. But until then bear with me - there may be a few shaky days as the mid-August due date fast approaches and I release my fingers from my grip of control.
The bride's dad was so cute this weekend. He was jovial and proud as any father of the bride would be. He was telling us a funny story of how he replied to his daughter when she was in the 2nd grade and asked about where babies come from. He says he wondered why he always got these questions when his wife was away and then gave his best answer to a then 8 year old. "You see, when a man is following God and he is looking at Him for all of his needs then he'll meet a woman and when she is doing the same thing - looking up - then they will get married. When they are both looking to God for everything in their life then they start to grow closer and closer to each other and the love between them grows so big that one day another person has to come along to take all of the extra love that is spilling over. That is where a baby comes from and we'll leave it at that," he concluded. And for many years that is where my friend knew babies came from. Pretty good explanation I think.
It was interesting. I sat and thought - goodness, I wish that was my story and I wish I had the confidence to tell my inquisitive 2nd grader that same story. My story seems to allow babies to enter the world without much thought or planning or even trying! But really, the good news is - I do know, deep down, that that is my story. I know that God knows that these two precious boys are supposed to be given to us....no one else but us. I know He has found me suitable to raise these two boys to be His warriors on earth. I know that He knows that I will mess up and I will cry and I will get really frustrated and tired and at times like last night - I will even wonder what He may have been thinking to have chosen me? Amid all of that - I do know that this story is the Lord's plan for me and for Brad. I can easily say that this is the season where I feel most out of control in my life. And though I am very scared of the changes that are about to occur - mainly because I didn't plan them - I also know that when I am out of control God is in control and He knows my fears, too.
Anyway.....I have no more mental time lines to hurdle before this baby. Now it is just the logistical obstacles that I actually enjoyed conquering the first go round. Where will this baby sleep? What can I stroll him in daily so we can get out of the house? What will I do with him and another still-very-young-baby roaming around the house? I trust that the extra love that is spilling over between Brad and i will be enough to take care of these and many other details along with this new person. All I am called to do is love this new baby more than myself - the clothes and the stroller and the cute baby crib are just extras. This thought last night was enough to quiet my tears and eventually allow me to get to sleep. Thank you, God, for your assurance even at the most unusual times.
*****
Last week was a whirlwind around here as we prepared for our first getaway together in several months. More so, my mind was completely not present as we were saddened with the news of a very dear friend who suffered a stroke at a very young age last week. I am so thankful that our friend is expected to fully recover but we know it will be a long journey for him and his wife who is so precious to me and our family. Please keep my friend and her husband on the top of your prayer list for these next several weeks. I truly believe the power of many many people praying over this sweet couple last week is what has lifted them to a more stable place with an optimistic outlook for their future. I am humbled to be a part of this journey with my friends as we get to see the Lord at work to heal our friend and to bring a marriage and a community very close. Thank you for your prayers and for believing that God is present and alive even in the most unlikely and unwelcoming circumstances.
*****
Our Memorial Day was spent picnicking with friends and lounging by the pool - or several pools! Here is Brooks and Molly Anne with their older friend, Sutton, learning how to be a big kid! I just love watching these kiddos grow up!
This weekend was spent sleeping in - or not necessarily sleeping late but not jumping out of bed to rescue a 12 month old from his slumber! We also walked over the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston several times and enjoyed not pushing a stroller. We walked all over Charleston and enjoyed the Spoleto arts festival and the fun festivities of a wedding of two favorite friends.
Brooks spent the weekend in the care of Grandma and Big Daddy. I am not sure exactly what they did every hour but I can tell you the little man was in heaven. They took him to the air show at the airport and played with him in the yard. They took him to the park in the neighborhood and I am sure he was never left to play alone. I'll admit, the first few days I was very happy to have a break but by yesterday I was so anxious to race home in time to see the little man and squeeze him. We rushed home and the 2nd string of babysitters - my mom -had just put him down. Let's just say he wanted NOTHING to do with me! Literally, he lunged towards my mom and looked as me as if I was a stranger in his house. I am not sure if I am happy that he had a good weekend and grew attached to the grandparents or if I am traumatized that he didn't remember me. Hello, I carried you for 10 months and gave birth to your massive head and I am with you every day - all day...I am your mother! Anyway, I am so glad he had a good weekend and I just hope the grandparents are up for a weekend with TWO grandboys!!!
I am sure Brooks ate lots of yummy cookin from his grandma and Big Daddy! And I am sure he entertained them with the doggy-door.....his latest discovery!
All I know is that he was pooped and this is how we found him after he finally fell asleep last night. He kinda reminds me of the good witch in the Wizard of Oz! I guess a tired baby doesn't care about comfort.
Last night I had a good much needed cry as we crept into our clean sheets (thanks to my amazing mother-in-law) after a long weekend in Charleston. One of my very best friends was married this weekend in the perfect setting in our favorite city. Ever since she boldly asked me to be in her wedding several months ago (knowing I would be way-pregnant and HUGE) I have had this mental date to get to. Up until this weekend, mentally, we were a family of 3, living in Atlanta, slowly adjusting to life with a baby. But I've known in the back of my head that after this wonderful weekend - another baby would join our family very soon. Honestly, I haven't really emotionally accepted this prior to the weekend. I don't know how I do that - block things like babies and such out of my head as if it isn't real? It's a terribly dangerous skill. So as I crawled into bed last night I knew today would be different and the lingering "change" that is so evident to everyone who sees my stomach would soon be very evident to me... and thus, I needed a good cry.
I've been very honest on this blog about this pregnancy. I am often ashamed that I would have such hesitation regarding this new life but I also know that this is me - this is where I am and it is much healthier for me to acknowledge my fear then to paint a peachy picture full of belly photo shots and nursery updates and baby shower joy to those who know me best.
The reason I am able to be so raw with myself is because ultimately, I do fully trust the Lord's plans for me with all of my heart. I can openly say I wouldn't have planned the last two years this way and I can honestly admit that I am not ready for another person to be in our family but I also know that despite my confidence in the plans before us - I know they have been planned and thought about by someone far more capable of knowing what is really best for me and our family. And as I experienced with Brooks, the moment this new person enters the world I know my heart will stretch and grow to have plenty of room to love yet another baby boy. But until then bear with me - there may be a few shaky days as the mid-August due date fast approaches and I release my fingers from my grip of control.
The bride's dad was so cute this weekend. He was jovial and proud as any father of the bride would be. He was telling us a funny story of how he replied to his daughter when she was in the 2nd grade and asked about where babies come from. He says he wondered why he always got these questions when his wife was away and then gave his best answer to a then 8 year old. "You see, when a man is following God and he is looking at Him for all of his needs then he'll meet a woman and when she is doing the same thing - looking up - then they will get married. When they are both looking to God for everything in their life then they start to grow closer and closer to each other and the love between them grows so big that one day another person has to come along to take all of the extra love that is spilling over. That is where a baby comes from and we'll leave it at that," he concluded. And for many years that is where my friend knew babies came from. Pretty good explanation I think.
It was interesting. I sat and thought - goodness, I wish that was my story and I wish I had the confidence to tell my inquisitive 2nd grader that same story. My story seems to allow babies to enter the world without much thought or planning or even trying! But really, the good news is - I do know, deep down, that that is my story. I know that God knows that these two precious boys are supposed to be given to us....no one else but us. I know He has found me suitable to raise these two boys to be His warriors on earth. I know that He knows that I will mess up and I will cry and I will get really frustrated and tired and at times like last night - I will even wonder what He may have been thinking to have chosen me? Amid all of that - I do know that this story is the Lord's plan for me and for Brad. I can easily say that this is the season where I feel most out of control in my life. And though I am very scared of the changes that are about to occur - mainly because I didn't plan them - I also know that when I am out of control God is in control and He knows my fears, too.
Anyway.....I have no more mental time lines to hurdle before this baby. Now it is just the logistical obstacles that I actually enjoyed conquering the first go round. Where will this baby sleep? What can I stroll him in daily so we can get out of the house? What will I do with him and another still-very-young-baby roaming around the house? I trust that the extra love that is spilling over between Brad and i will be enough to take care of these and many other details along with this new person. All I am called to do is love this new baby more than myself - the clothes and the stroller and the cute baby crib are just extras. This thought last night was enough to quiet my tears and eventually allow me to get to sleep. Thank you, God, for your assurance even at the most unusual times.
*****
Last week was a whirlwind around here as we prepared for our first getaway together in several months. More so, my mind was completely not present as we were saddened with the news of a very dear friend who suffered a stroke at a very young age last week. I am so thankful that our friend is expected to fully recover but we know it will be a long journey for him and his wife who is so precious to me and our family. Please keep my friend and her husband on the top of your prayer list for these next several weeks. I truly believe the power of many many people praying over this sweet couple last week is what has lifted them to a more stable place with an optimistic outlook for their future. I am humbled to be a part of this journey with my friends as we get to see the Lord at work to heal our friend and to bring a marriage and a community very close. Thank you for your prayers and for believing that God is present and alive even in the most unlikely and unwelcoming circumstances.
*****
Our Memorial Day was spent picnicking with friends and lounging by the pool - or several pools! Here is Brooks and Molly Anne with their older friend, Sutton, learning how to be a big kid! I just love watching these kiddos grow up!
This weekend was spent sleeping in - or not necessarily sleeping late but not jumping out of bed to rescue a 12 month old from his slumber! We also walked over the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston several times and enjoyed not pushing a stroller. We walked all over Charleston and enjoyed the Spoleto arts festival and the fun festivities of a wedding of two favorite friends.
Brooks spent the weekend in the care of Grandma and Big Daddy. I am not sure exactly what they did every hour but I can tell you the little man was in heaven. They took him to the air show at the airport and played with him in the yard. They took him to the park in the neighborhood and I am sure he was never left to play alone. I'll admit, the first few days I was very happy to have a break but by yesterday I was so anxious to race home in time to see the little man and squeeze him. We rushed home and the 2nd string of babysitters - my mom -had just put him down. Let's just say he wanted NOTHING to do with me! Literally, he lunged towards my mom and looked as me as if I was a stranger in his house. I am not sure if I am happy that he had a good weekend and grew attached to the grandparents or if I am traumatized that he didn't remember me. Hello, I carried you for 10 months and gave birth to your massive head and I am with you every day - all day...I am your mother! Anyway, I am so glad he had a good weekend and I just hope the grandparents are up for a weekend with TWO grandboys!!!
I am sure Brooks ate lots of yummy cookin from his grandma and Big Daddy! And I am sure he entertained them with the doggy-door.....his latest discovery!
All I know is that he was pooped and this is how we found him after he finally fell asleep last night. He kinda reminds me of the good witch in the Wizard of Oz! I guess a tired baby doesn't care about comfort.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I'd rather a new pair of shoes
In honor of Memorial day I did what the many Americans who were not on a lake or a beach somewhere did - I browsed the sales at the mall. When you are nearly 30 weeks pregnant there is really nothing that you might actually commit to buy because for this larger season of life there is nothing, no invention that can make you feel too much better - with the exception of shoes. When I look at my feet - I don't think I am pregnant. They are the only thing that looks as normal as they did 8 months ago. So I tried on many a pair of summery sandals - atleast if I can't partake in a cute summer strapless dress then I can fancy my feet in some new sandals.
Luckily, my will power won and I walked out from the mall without even a small purchase but I had many images in my head of my cute feet and painted toes on a beach somewhere in a new pair of summer sandals.
That was Monday.
Yesterday, after visions of straps and colors and wedges danced in my head I woke up to chest pain. Thank you, hormones and your compadre - baby Bingo. I've always had funny issues with breathing and all the testing and doctor visits have never amounted to much more than a bunch of prescriptions that I never fill and lots of frustration. I have just learned to live with my shortness of breath over the years and in the meantime I just hope I am never stuck under water for any reason. Well yesterday the pain persisted no matter what position I tried and no matter how much relaxing I attempted. So as every stubborn pregnant lady would do I finally called the doctors line at the OB office - after hours. It wouldn't have been as much fun to just call the office when they were open. So a phone call later and lots of pleading with my sweet husband to let me be and not force me to do as I was told and go to the ER - he won and I found myself for the first time driving to the ER. I bargained with my grueling caretaker by saying I would only go IF I got to go alone and I promised I would call at any mention of something more serious than just another complication caused by the growing person in my belly. I almost turned and went to Nordstrom to just buy the pair of shoes that had taken over my thoughts for nearly a day but I knew Brad would be very unhappy with me and so for once, I did just as I was told. I'll admit - I was quite frightened on my drive over....not because my heart was being pierced with a knife every time I inhaled but because I had never been to the ER and all I knew of it was from Grey's Anatomy and the long gone show - ER.
The Northside hospital ER is not at all like the real ER on tv.
There was no screaming or rushing or doctors kissing in the elevator. Actually I only saw one doctor and she was in jeans and a turtle neck - no white coat here. No one rushed me through the doors to hook me up to any machines - they just asked me to take my seat and wait for my name to be called. At this point I decided I liked the ER. The waiting area was surprisingly clean and the Office was on the tv above my head. There were only a few other people sitting in the area just sipping on Starbucks. I think I could make this a regular Tuesday night occasion!
Not too many minutes passed before my name was called by a normal looking nurse. She asked me lots of questions and for the first time in awhile I felt interesting. Yes, I have a baby at home and one on the way and no, neither were planned. This nurse was dying for children and I actually felt like she was a little envious of me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to cause envy and I do pray that this sweet nurse is blessed with kiddos very soon but rarely is there a time that I meet a woman that is envious of my "predicament." {I'm kidding. I don't really think this is predicament, folks, I know it is a blessing but I like to call it my predicament. Just had to clarify....} I think I was beaming as I spoke of my family back at home who was anxiously awaiting news of my diagnosis (or fast asleep on the couch but I like to think they were on pins and needles.}
Anyway, I was then walked to a room and given the standard hospital gown. Aside from this one small detail as I think hospital gowns just stink like old old ladies that have lived in the same house for 40 years and never cleaned out their drawers - I liked the rest of my set up. I was able to watch a little tv in peace. No one really bothered me that often and when they did they were entirely focused on me and my sharp pains in my chest. Had I not the reminder of where I was coming from the stench of the gown - I would have thought Brad had sent me to the spa. I was hand delivered a Sprite with my favorite kind of ice. The PA wasn't that bad looking and though I know I was one of 50 rooms - he made me think I was the only one in the ER that night. The nurses all wanted to comment on my necklace and my pretty-pregnancy hair. I tell you ......the ER is the place to go if you want to feel better about yourself or your predicament!
Several hours later I was diagnosed with the worst possible scenario. Severe acid-reflux that would not alleviate itself until delivery. Sweet! Don't get me wrong, I could have been suffering a heart attack as the neurotic doctor on the phone earlier in the day first concluded but instead I had spent 3 hours in the ER and a few hundred dollars just to hear that my palate is too spicy for my body to handle and I'd need to cut back on the chips and salsa! I am royally embarrassed and a little bummed that my toes probably won't look cute in those sandals this weekend in Charleston because I blew any money we didn't already have by hanging out at the ER - aka the spa on a Tuesday night!
Dear sweet growing baby in my belly,
I love that you are always reminding me that you are happy in there. Never is there a moment without your foot or elbow digging into my side. I know you think this place is your home and for a little while longer you can stay but it is not your home - it is mine and I can't wait for you to come out into your real home and give me back my body! I love salsa and spicy food and you don't'! You have so kindly pushed my esophagus so far out of it's normal place that any drop of acid leaks into the wrong places and I feel it for days. Can we compromise? No more lemonade, salsa, or pizza for me and please, dear one, no more reminding me of the strength of your little legs in the middle of the night. We only have 10 more weeks of sharing spaces and I really think we can make this work and enjoy the last few months together if we can just get along. Please consider. I love you all the way up to the moon - even if you keep me up all night, cause me to itch, have put pressure on my tail bone, cause me not to breathe during the day, have given me stretch marks and headaches and then kindly caused my hips to spread just so I'll always remember you. I do, I love you. Oh, and just in case you are my competitive child - you're the winner! I had NONE of these symptoms with your older brother and I don't think any less of him. Love you baby!
Love,
Mama
Luckily, my will power won and I walked out from the mall without even a small purchase but I had many images in my head of my cute feet and painted toes on a beach somewhere in a new pair of summer sandals.
That was Monday.
Yesterday, after visions of straps and colors and wedges danced in my head I woke up to chest pain. Thank you, hormones and your compadre - baby Bingo. I've always had funny issues with breathing and all the testing and doctor visits have never amounted to much more than a bunch of prescriptions that I never fill and lots of frustration. I have just learned to live with my shortness of breath over the years and in the meantime I just hope I am never stuck under water for any reason. Well yesterday the pain persisted no matter what position I tried and no matter how much relaxing I attempted. So as every stubborn pregnant lady would do I finally called the doctors line at the OB office - after hours. It wouldn't have been as much fun to just call the office when they were open. So a phone call later and lots of pleading with my sweet husband to let me be and not force me to do as I was told and go to the ER - he won and I found myself for the first time driving to the ER. I bargained with my grueling caretaker by saying I would only go IF I got to go alone and I promised I would call at any mention of something more serious than just another complication caused by the growing person in my belly. I almost turned and went to Nordstrom to just buy the pair of shoes that had taken over my thoughts for nearly a day but I knew Brad would be very unhappy with me and so for once, I did just as I was told. I'll admit - I was quite frightened on my drive over....not because my heart was being pierced with a knife every time I inhaled but because I had never been to the ER and all I knew of it was from Grey's Anatomy and the long gone show - ER.
The Northside hospital ER is not at all like the real ER on tv.
There was no screaming or rushing or doctors kissing in the elevator. Actually I only saw one doctor and she was in jeans and a turtle neck - no white coat here. No one rushed me through the doors to hook me up to any machines - they just asked me to take my seat and wait for my name to be called. At this point I decided I liked the ER. The waiting area was surprisingly clean and the Office was on the tv above my head. There were only a few other people sitting in the area just sipping on Starbucks. I think I could make this a regular Tuesday night occasion!
Not too many minutes passed before my name was called by a normal looking nurse. She asked me lots of questions and for the first time in awhile I felt interesting. Yes, I have a baby at home and one on the way and no, neither were planned. This nurse was dying for children and I actually felt like she was a little envious of me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to cause envy and I do pray that this sweet nurse is blessed with kiddos very soon but rarely is there a time that I meet a woman that is envious of my "predicament." {I'm kidding. I don't really think this is predicament, folks, I know it is a blessing but I like to call it my predicament. Just had to clarify....} I think I was beaming as I spoke of my family back at home who was anxiously awaiting news of my diagnosis (or fast asleep on the couch but I like to think they were on pins and needles.}
Anyway, I was then walked to a room and given the standard hospital gown. Aside from this one small detail as I think hospital gowns just stink like old old ladies that have lived in the same house for 40 years and never cleaned out their drawers - I liked the rest of my set up. I was able to watch a little tv in peace. No one really bothered me that often and when they did they were entirely focused on me and my sharp pains in my chest. Had I not the reminder of where I was coming from the stench of the gown - I would have thought Brad had sent me to the spa. I was hand delivered a Sprite with my favorite kind of ice. The PA wasn't that bad looking and though I know I was one of 50 rooms - he made me think I was the only one in the ER that night. The nurses all wanted to comment on my necklace and my pretty-pregnancy hair. I tell you ......the ER is the place to go if you want to feel better about yourself or your predicament!
Several hours later I was diagnosed with the worst possible scenario. Severe acid-reflux that would not alleviate itself until delivery. Sweet! Don't get me wrong, I could have been suffering a heart attack as the neurotic doctor on the phone earlier in the day first concluded but instead I had spent 3 hours in the ER and a few hundred dollars just to hear that my palate is too spicy for my body to handle and I'd need to cut back on the chips and salsa! I am royally embarrassed and a little bummed that my toes probably won't look cute in those sandals this weekend in Charleston because I blew any money we didn't already have by hanging out at the ER - aka the spa on a Tuesday night!
Dear sweet growing baby in my belly,
I love that you are always reminding me that you are happy in there. Never is there a moment without your foot or elbow digging into my side. I know you think this place is your home and for a little while longer you can stay but it is not your home - it is mine and I can't wait for you to come out into your real home and give me back my body! I love salsa and spicy food and you don't'! You have so kindly pushed my esophagus so far out of it's normal place that any drop of acid leaks into the wrong places and I feel it for days. Can we compromise? No more lemonade, salsa, or pizza for me and please, dear one, no more reminding me of the strength of your little legs in the middle of the night. We only have 10 more weeks of sharing spaces and I really think we can make this work and enjoy the last few months together if we can just get along. Please consider. I love you all the way up to the moon - even if you keep me up all night, cause me to itch, have put pressure on my tail bone, cause me not to breathe during the day, have given me stretch marks and headaches and then kindly caused my hips to spread just so I'll always remember you. I do, I love you. Oh, and just in case you are my competitive child - you're the winner! I had NONE of these symptoms with your older brother and I don't think any less of him. Love you baby!
Love,
Mama
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