No!, Why? and Will-E-Yum

I feel like we have a sound machine in our house that runs from 723am to 804pm everyday with a slight intermission from 130-4. As I have said before we have spent a TON of time in our house lately. It really baffles me....we have been here 8 weeks now and other than our necessary trips we haven't left the confines of our little home. It has been the most crazy thing in my last four years as I used to find reasons to just get out every morning and afternoon. I attribute much of our new-found stability to the ease that that his house has provided for entertainment. There is nothing a mother loves to hear more from a toddler than I want to go to my house and play, mommy. So, that is just what we have done. Yesterday I got a little too overambitious and took on 3 different projects after nap time and I ended up close to labor I think and maybe desperately needing a glass of wine on the porch once the boys were down for the night. Here are the pictures for proof.......

But of course the other part of our staycation of late is the fact that it is just easier to move my added weight and two hefty toddlers from one floor to the other rather than from the car to a grocery cart to a store to the car to a park to a slide to a restaurant and back to the car. That makes me tired writing it. When we do venture out and go through the ritual above I literally shut the back door after everyone is buckled enough to save a life and I put my forehead on the car and probably repeat a curse word that I never thought I'd say. Atleast I am honest with you. So...we are nesting of sorts and sincerely enjoying our unplugged, uncluttered, unhurried life before the baby. Back to the sound machine....while we are spending all of these hours at home I start to notice that our conversations go on repeat about every 6 minutes. Here is a little glimpse. William, let's go down stairs and eat (fill in the blank). NO! Come on little man...downstairs. NO! Brooks, tell William to come down stairs and eat (fill in the blank). WHY? Because it's time to eat and he wont' listen to me. WHY? Because. But WHY? Well, Im going downstairs to eat and yall can come when you are ready. WHY? BECAUSE I WANT TO! (Then Brooks to William)....William, let's go down stairs and eat baby. (He calls him baby). NO! (Brooks) WHY not, Will-E-Yum? Then William repeats his name - Will-E-Yum. Then Brooks says his name again with 3 syllables because this is just what they do and then they repeat the name back to eachother for a good 4 minutes. By that time I've already eaten 3 waffles and just wait for any crying to begin. Repeat process again in 6 minutes or following any task I give them or question I ask of them. So as you can guess we are right on track with our stages. William is the master of the cutest pierced lip "NO!" that I could ever not want to hear and Brooks wants to know why it rains, why the wind blows, why my belly sticks out, why carrots are orange, why dad goes to work, why he needs to say sorry to his brother when he is not nice, why he has to go to bed, why the bird flies across the sky, and why I don't know the answers when I say "I just don't know, buddy." Isn't this the predictable role of an almost 2 and 3 year old? And as for the Will-E-Yum....it is just plain hysterical. My mom tried to teach Brooks how to say his little brother's name rather than "Nillum" as he is so called and now the boys think it is the funniest thing at the most inapproporiate times to repeat their little saying....Will-E-Yum. I have to find the video of this cause it's a keeper. So that's where we are.....enjoying our days in pajamas, getting to know the trees and birds in our yard, and just waiting waiting waiting on everything to change in a matter of days!

In a bubble

We have officially spent our first month in our new space and while the boxes are out of the house and the walls have started to (literally) take on our presence, there still seems to be so much undone. I am mostly to blame. I have started 6 projects that I can think of and I have finished one and that is because the more-un-pregnant adult of the house took over the reigns at the end of the little project but I still take full credit for initiating and happily crossed the little pest off "the list."

It's funny being a first time home owner. You sit cozily in the comfort of your own home and you notice the dirt built up around the window seal and you think, "hnn...if I want that clean I have to clean it." I know this sounds elementary but that's what I think throughout the day and then I hope I can just forget that I ever saw the dirt or else "the list," the one that only grows and never dwindles, starts to overtake my daily sanity and rob me from needed sleep at night.

So as you can imagine, there is this incessant sense of coming undone. Not to add, another real, live, eating, crying, sleeping and mess-making (pooping) human will come under this roof in a matter of weeks and I am not exaggerating when I say zero preparation has occurred for this event. ZERO. Isn't a 2nd and 3rd child worlds different from that crazy first experience? Brad said the other day that he needs 3 days to prepare for this new baby. I'm not sure where he got 3 from but I believe almost anything he says and I was comforted. That is, until a few days later when I visited a friend who had a baby in the hospital and realized seriously for the 1st time that I have to have this baby. Like, it has to come out of me...not him or anyone else. As a pregnant woman (after the first baby atleast) you quickly adjust to the fact that you're pregnant and your body has been occupied by a soccer player. Then you start to think about the changes this will impose on your family and your daily routine and how well (wishful thinking) the new baby will fit into the family once he/she is here. But somehow I always block out the middle chapter. Oh yeah, this thing has to come out!I know people have babies all the time - in fact 54 a day born at the hospital where we deliver, and I have done this twice before too but I think every woman forgets the birth part of it all (that's why we all do it again for the most part) and then you have the realization at the oddest time. I was in the McDonald's line at the hospital getting a tea when it hit me. I am convinced this "unknown thing" the 2nd time around is what contributed to the start of my year and a half with insomnia. I was never a worrier but all of a sudden you feel the weight of responsibility on your shoulders but you are just waiting for the event to happen....deliver a healthy baby, figure out how to feed it, keep the family at home happy, learn to survive on little sleep (and not have the joy of "sleeping when the baby sleeps" because the other baby is awake!) and quickly recover because nothing stops while your'e having a baby. And can all of that happen while your mom is able to help and when your husband doesn't have a big meeting out of town?!?!?! The first baby for me things did seem to stop and everyone else seemed atleast to stop - I didn't know the date for atleast 6 weeks and my while world revolved around a 3 hour feeding schedule but when you add kid upon kid you just don't have that same luxury....everything moves on because after all - it isn't your first rodeo.

Anyway, we aren't prepared one bit for this major event but I am not surprised, actually comforted. Finally aftetr my first two attempts I've learned a few things. A baby does not need the perfect going home outfit in order to thrive at home. He or she really doesn't even need it's own coordinated room or bed - actually, I had a friend who had her baby in a padded drawer on the floor when they first came home because their apartment was so tiny. Really, like the paper work says from the hospital - I need an up to date car seat and I need to know it works in my car. The end. The other thing I have learned is that no matter how many birth stories you watch on TLC or how many woes or thrills you hear from your friends or strangers who just delivered via cesarean or in a bath tub - your own story won't be the same. There is absolutely nothing predictable when it comes to labor. Many women tell me I need to race to the hospital the moment I hiccup and feel a tug because the third child tends to fall out. (Does this gross you out? Just imagine a stork and a baby falling from the sky. That's all). But then in the very 10 minutes I have a lady with 5 children tell me #3-5 were the longest, slowest, worst labors of them all. What? Exactly. There is no use in really "preparing" because I couldn't prepare enough.

Here's the encouraging part if you've waited for the climax of this little rant. The baby will join our family and it will be just fine. Praise God! My mom brought home her 4th child and says that very afternoon we asked her what was for dinner. Life moves on and really that is the best for everyone. The baby will ease into our new normal just as we will but because we have prayed over this baby's life and his place in our family and because we know without any doubt that this baby was supposed to be in our-already-crowded family at this time - that it is in fact meant to be and it will be perfect. Truly, that is the assurance I hold so dearly everyday especially when I am out and about in public and welcome the most obnoxious comments and glares from the have-it-all-together-and-never-would-have-subjected-themselves-to-3-babies-in-3-years-type moms. Yes, maybe the path our family has followed wasn't in our plan but I am so glad it wasn't. I am just thankful to love and serve a big God that knows the details of my life and of each of the children we have brought into this world. It's a little crude of me but my response is always, "yes, but my heart is so full, too" to the lovely ladies and men who like to point out that I have my hands full. I signed up for this. I signed up for the mess, and the long hours, and the embarrassing tantrums in Publix, and the car filled with cheerios and goldfish. But I also signed up for the mornings at the park swinging our 20 month old endlessly because there is no place he'd rather be. And I signed up for the special time on the floor with all the boys and my unavoidable belly at night before bed that could never, never be put into words. Some of you know exactly what I mean. What a treasure, right?

That is why we've been camping out in this bubble for the last month. I've had friends in our old neighborhood call out of concern wondering where we have gone. I am grateful for the concern but also grateful for our time "away." I feel like for the first time in the short history of our family we are just that - a family with an address and a whole lot of undone things but a whole lot of rich moments that could never be replicated. I know that we are in that stage that so many moms a generation older than me would do anything to relive. While I certainly have my moments during the day that cause me to go into the bathroom and scream I also know we are in a short stage of life where almost everything is new and is fresh and is viewed by virgin eyes. That is why we are in this bubble for a little while.....just taking it al in....trying to relive a pic-nic or the thrill of a new matchbox car through the eye of a toddler.

Luckily the toddlers of this house have taught me (while in this bubble of mine) that I couldn't prepare for the Pope coming to visit if I tried. Life with little ones is unpredictable and as I've learned (thankfully) - the only thing little humans need is a whole lot of selfless love. The kind you don't know about until you become a parent. But is has nothing to do with the sweetest going home outfit or a matching monogrammed pillow in the nursery.

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Here are some (terrible quality) pictures of us in our little world lately. Can't you see why I don't mind it?



ANd here are a few of the boys at their little wee-school. The last one makes me melt.

Where did we go?

Oh, hey! Yes, were all still here...all 4.5 of us plus a dog and we are doing quite well this Spring. Technichally, we moved 5 miles north of our beloved little abode in Brookhaven but I feel like we are worlds away....atleast for a short season. Our previous home of 2+ years served us very well. We enjoyed the best neighbors turned friends that a family could ever ask for...you know, the kind that intrude a little bit in eachothers lives but the result is so invaluable. The old neighborhood also had more young kids under the age of 5 than any place I've ever known. There were young families everywhere and it surely made it easy to find encouragement as a young mom or dad. The neighborhood park was a toddlers dream and a stay at home mom's source for daily sanity. Our kids rarely stepped foot on the play structures but rather laid claim to a new toy a week that was disposed of by one of the neighborhood residents. ANd our little house was little but perfect for us for two years. I didn't know that sheets could stay ironed if only they had a closet for them. I didn't care that the kithen didn't allow for a whole party to engage in it's space because as it always goes - we all gathered in the small kitchen anyway. And my boys didn't know that they needed a little more running room or a whole basement in order to thrive. They were happy, loved, and they loved coming home to their house every time we were away. I love kids for that reason....always reminding us of the sweeter things in life.
That house in that season were so right for our little family and I know that GOd knew when He planted us there that we would bloom. There were some extremely painful weeks in that little home but even richer moments playing on the floor in the playroom, gathered around the kitchen table, and enjoying the gift of like-minded neighbors on an afternoon in the front yard. I could write a whole post on our neighbors and the special place they have in each of our hearts.

SO, 2.5 weeks ago we moved and I can say the same thing about this new space. From the first day I could tell this would be the right house for our family. Actually, the perfect house. I could list so many little things about this house that cause me to pinch myself daily and they don't have to do with granite counter tops, 10 foot ceilings, and superb crown molding. It is the way we can use this new house....to entertain and to enjoy each other. This house has such a welcoming presence to it and the boys and I have found ourselves not wanting to leave the house at all! What? This is sooooo different than our last house. As much as I loved it I had to get out every morning and afternoon. Here we have spent many days in our pajamas traversing the many stairs, finding things to get into or places to lay around. Oddly enough, this has been so good for me in this new season.

Our new baby should join our family in the next 6-8 weeks I guess and I couldn't think of a better way to spend the weeks - hiding out! The boys are in the most edible stages and unfortunately, no picture or amount of words can adequately capture who they are right now. So luckily for me - I am here with them all day everyday and I've loved getting to experience every ounce of their personalities in this short period before a new little one takes up my free arms.


I've been a part of a mom's bible study at a local church for 2 years now and a mom I know of but do not know very well wrote about this "pull" today. This pull to actually "be" with our kids as opposed to writing about them, snapping photos of them, and taking account of their lives in every way is so intense - especially when there is so much good stuff to chronicle. And ultimately, I love writing more than any past time so it is where I want to spend my time. But right now I just don't have that kind of time. These weeks are too short. The days fly by so quickly and each week brings about new independence that lessens their need for me. I don't want to put my "pen" down one day soon and realize I have a whole blog about our days but I don't really remember them from first hand experience. So, yes, maybe for a little while we are taking a vacation from our old ways and allowing this move and the new season upon us to slow us down. I'm just glad we have stopped before it was too late!


Oh, and these are in our backyard and I adore them. We moved the week everything bloomed. Again...perfect timing!

Our week in pictures

This week we closed on our first home, moved some boxes, moved some kids, drove a uhaul, played in a uhaul, heard our baby's heartbeat, got our first shiner, got our first haircut, slept our first night in a big boy bed (well, we are 2 hours into it), prayed in each of the rooms in the house (especially the bed room!) with dear friends, peed like boys do in the yard (naked with a fireman hat on!), had a few picnics, enjoyed quiet mornings overlooking the silver maples in our back yard while listening to the birds, enjoyed the creak in the stairs knowing the house had been lived in and enjoyed (I actually have a thing for an old house), shed happy tears, shed tired tears, fixed our first leak, spent a little too much money (alot too much!), cut the largest stretch of grass I ever thought we'd own, had breakfast at the bar every morning, thanked God endlessly, conquered the flights of stairs, hid in the dryer for a whole 60 seconds before being found and permanantly locked out of the laundry room, welcomed our first guests, missed our old neighbors, discovered our favorite new lunch places, loved finding a place for almost every single thing that was in a box (and I even have some empty drawers and closets!), heard sweet reviews of our toddlers from their teachers at their conferences (who needs a conference about an 18 month old!), got some good sleep (amen!), maybe said a few curse words between moving boxes, cleaning up messes and wishing my belly wasn't in the way, learned some new phrases ("upsy daisy" for William and "what time is it? for Brooks....that was a funny one!), missed our daily trip to the park in our old neighborhood and our "usual" Publix, watched everything outside turn yellow and then start to bloom, admired our yard and all these big blessings that we do not deserve, and made some very fun, first memories in our first new house! Sentiments to follow at some point but for now....

Almonds, almonds, oh my

You know I am not one to spend my precious "nap" time during the day writing about things that are just that....things. Of course, like many I have alot of things I love and you could probably name those as they end up weaving their way into posts about children, pregnancy, and even the deeper subjects. Trust me, I could talk deeply about my obsession with animal crackers and McDonald's sweet tea any day but I like to think there's a little more substance offered here on this blog of many colors.

But I have a new love and this little addiction consumes my thoughts! Yesterday I was driving home from a mom's bible study that I attend across town. I had 11 minutes until carpool for the oldest one and I was still about 9 minutes away. All I had thought about while listening to one of my favorite women speak on parenting and the gospel - was my 2nd jar of almond butter waiting for me at home. My workout buddy turned favorite friend (and now entrepreneur) dropped off two jars of their company's latest endeavor last week and short of bathing in the smooth-yet-nutty-jar-of-perfection I did everything possible to get it in my mouth. I won't lie - when I didn't have a vehicle to get it in my mouth I used a finger. And I didn't tell Brad. And I didn't feel guilty at all. Rather, I felt quite green and earthy - eating something straight from the jar that is pretty much straight from the almond tree plus a tad of salt. That's right...two ingredients, a whole bunch of love, and I have a new favorite "thing" and a healthy, protein snack (for this growing baby in my belly!)

So yesterday I had remembered a thin, multi-grain cracker that Costco was sampling last weekend when I went to eat lunch off of samples run an errand. It must have been my day because there was a parking spot right up front, I ran right to aisle 16, grabbed my overly priced box of crackers that will take me 6 months to get through and I was checking out within 90 seconds. That's what I call a little miracle when it comes to Costco. Of course I got "that" look from the cashier...the one that says "you are in Costco and you only have ONE item?" I shrugged it off and sprinted to the car to make it to carpool only 2 minutes late. My mission was complete - now I could practically finish the 2nd jar of naturalmond butter if I chose to because the almond butter vehicle (aka the cracker) essentially has zero calories and is not very filling (as planned). So now for two lunches and a snack in between I have indulged in my favorite little gourmet spread on the market! Not only do I love the flavor and the slight crunch but I love knowing that I am doing my body good! Almonds alone have always been one of my favorite ways to get those good fats and sneak in some protein during the day so when my friend told me her crazy plans of turning her grandfather's recipe into a live product I was giddy (and glad to be her friend)!

Some local restaurants have already began using the butter in a few dishes on their menu and another local favorite restaurant has been selling the jars off the shelf. Of course it's a treat to find a new product to add to your regular snack routine (as I am a regular snacker) but it's even more fun to watch a dear friends dream come to life. Our family has officially said goodbye to the Jiffy. My kids love the naturalmond and it's so much better for us....even if I do eat a half a jar a day, right? If you're hungry and a I've tempted you - check out their site here. {And if you are local you can arrange to pick up or have the jars delivered rather than paying to ship.) And, no, I haven't been payed or prompted one bit to write this but I wouldn't mind an invite to the next sampling! (is that a subtle enough hint?)

Spaghetti

{They} say women have brains like spaghetti noodles while men get the brain of a waffle. I've never been an Italian fan but waffles suit me perfectly for any of the three meals of the day. As it is suited though - my brain is a whole Lady in the Tramp sized bowl of long spaghetti noodles...all wanting to be unwound. I write that partly as a side note so you can pardon the lack of direction in this ramble and partly as a perfect picture into our reality right now.

We close on our first home in 2 weeks and I honestly don't know if either of the adults of this house will make it to then without a big mistake or two being made. My former profession before motherhood was in residential finance and the number one thing I told my home buyers was to not go out and buy any furniture or a new shiny car before closing date. But I want to be that person soooo bad! You see, in our 4+ years of marriage we have made 3 moves and appropriately grown (in the belly) 3 kids. Needless to say, "stability" isn't anything I can relate to. I am used to having walls half decorated and furniture in weird places. I've yet to even use or open 1/2 of the gifts we received at our wedding because we have lived with the basics. In addition, I don't really know what my house style would be if you threatened me to define it. I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll I guess? Does that work when it comes to a home? Lastly, though we have treasured each of our temporary homes - I have yet to feel like I have any space that is "mine." The little insomnia thing didn't help with this feeling as I spent so few hours in our bedroom since we have lived here and rather spent 90% of my day at home in the living room/kitchen - which is not the biggest of spaces. It has become my laundry room, sleeping room, the room that collects the random things as well as the place for the Christmas tree, diaper changes and the place to host company.

So to say that the mister and I are excited and overwhelmed isn't even an ounce of the description. I have spent any of the non-free time I have had over the last month scouring every home interior store in the metro area and I've come home with a whole bunch of returns! As people have said, wait until we get in and then see what needs to be done but because we feel like we are playing catch up - as our lifestyle with 3 kids - has exceeded the tiny dwellings we have occupied - neither of us can stop daydreaming about what this house means. Yes, it is 4 walls and a roof and we both know that many families live with less than that but as I said, this means so much more for us. The other day Brad said he is going to get to our room at Northside hospital - our other residence - and sit in the rocking chair after this baby arrives and finally exhale and say, "thank you, God, now we can rest." For real. That is how we feel. The last 4 years have thrown so many curve balls our way and I don't know why we think it will stop now but it seems that knowing that our address and our employment are stable for the unforeseen future will provide the minimal amount of stability we are desiring.

Today we went to meet a painter at the new house and I left feeling so much better than I did this past month. I could move in tomorrow and no, the wall colors and the light fixtures aren't my preference and we only have furniture to fill one floor but I FINALLY DO NOT CARE! Ahhh....what a freeing truth! It excites me to think that over the years we can make this house our home by adding our own little touches. Here are a few of the things I do love oh so much.....We plan to paint the outside, add a little walkout porch with a portego (sp?) and remove the awning and door sometime soon. (I know how that goes though....I'm sure a new kitchen table will take precedence once we are there eating on the floor!)
My favorite...I love the cozy feel of the kitchen with the arches and the exposed brick.
A covered porch...yes please! Hello late nights watching the stars in the burbs!
We figure if the boys run 2.65 laps every afternoon in the yard they'll never have to do any further athletic training. Bring on the swing set and camp Bagwell this summer!

In the meantime, I am pretty teary over leaving our neighborhood. Seriously, I don't know another place I would have wanted to be the last 2 years with young kids. Every single afternoon the boys and I hit the neighborhood park if we aren't out on a long walk with one of about 30 friends with kids our age that live right here in our neighborhood. As the stay at home mom that I have become this is a HUGE asset and can take away any claustrophobia from a smaller abode. More so, we love the access we have to so many of our favorite places....we love the local library, the boys school, our dry cleaner "Michael" who has ruined my kids teeth with suckers, and the 5 or so parks that are close to walking distance. And I love knowing Brad will be home in 11 minutes from the time he pulls out of his parking deck....usually. Luckily our new house has a big, flat backyard and though I won't have the convenience of catching up with my buddies at the park everyday, the boys will have plenty of room to run their hearts out (and then sleep their hearts out at night.) Our new neighborhood is a sleepy little neighborhood and it is actually 1 mile outside of the perimeter. Say it now...OH MY GOODNESS! THE BURBS! Bring on the "burbs" I say! {Mark my words - we will hold off on the mom-mobile even if it means we go nowhere until the baby is out of a car seat - only 10 years to go!)

On other notes - I pushed off the dreaded glucose test that luckily falls at the beginning of the 3rd trimester for oh....4 weeks now. I finally took it and as any good news should come - late on a Friday - I passed! This is a little detail in the grand scheme of things but DESPISE that gross little drink that you have to drink and I could consider ending our streak of children if it were up to having to drink that thing again. The baby looks great and in about 2 weeks I'll start going to the specialist and the obgyn every week until the baby comes! Are you kidding me? The one thing I will not miss after growing/nursing little people is the constant flow of doctor appointments. Who wants to spend their precious babysitting hours at a doctors office? No, thank you. When I'm out of this stage I'll spend any babysitting hours I have left at a roller skating rink or a dance studio. Count on it.

The boys....there are no words. My mom calls them Frick and Frack. I say it every month - I am SO thankful these two are so close together in age. They have a built in best friend and a built in watch-out buddy. Brooks tells the little guy what to do but the little guy is almost bigger (in weight) than B anyway so the pushiness has begun. W thinks "hitting" is funny. What do I do about that? That means a spanking makes him lie down and laugh. B is smart like I've never seen. He remembers things I don't remember. He puts sentences together that I thought 12 year olds spoke. He dresses himself -imperfectly but he attempts which means good things to come (maybe by the time there is another thing needing dressed in the morning?) and has the imagination and attention span of someone not of me. I'm thankful for someones genes working in him! B thinks that everything that is in the new house is his...like the boys who live there are going to just hand over their bikes and water guns and soccer balls. I keep trying to tell him that his new things will go to the house with him but he isn't that smart....yet!

Oh, and as for stats - well....little man is on a little diet. If you have ever felt disproportionated just consult our little clown. He is about as short as he can be without falling off the charts but about as hefty as he can be with one of the largest heads in the pediatricians office. All brains I suppose and Brad just worries that he'll have little man syndrome which I think is fine because my less tall friends are normally the funniest, most genuine people I know and I think that is pretty fitting for our little W.
Napping toddler....still nothing more serene to watch even at almost 3.
Obstacle course? Free time for mom? Yes and yes.
Isn't this how you take a bath and wash clothes?
We've hit EVERY park inside the perimeter this winter as we get out of the house to show the house we are renting. The boys dont mind....

There you go...a bowl full of hearty spaghetti! I hope you ate it up and it keeps you full for awhile because the posts are getting more and more sporadic. Happy {springish} weekend!