A year ago today

A long yet fast year ago today one of my most favorite women in the world made a quick and surprising flee to heaven and the void in my heart and so many others can never be filled. I remember that afternoon like it just happened yesterday as well as the events that would follow. As anyone who has lost someone close to them can attest the first weeks and months to follow are quite a blur and the loss doesn't really set in right away. It's when her birthday comes around that flashes of her many birthday's spent among her loves, her daughters, pop into my head. Or that first Sunday a few weeks later where I would have literally done anything to sit around her dinner table and enjoy her company and her pound cake. She would cook all Saturday night and all day Sunday and then often quietly serve anyone that chose to show up. Now I get it - she knew she was blessed and she was taking it all in. She understood the true gems in this life - family and relationships. Then, of course, her favorite holiday came around this past Christmas and the lack of her presence was felt deeply by everyone. Yes, she was always known for her radical gift giving to her huge family (and any boyfriend or girlfriend that was brought around more than once) but it was really just her that we missed. She was one of those women that may not have made a fuss when she walked in a room but you always knew she was there and she made the atmosphere better - more welcoming, vibrant, and peaceful.

But then there was that other side of her that I miss more than anything. I can laugh about this now but often after a large family event we would talk about who got to "meet" Mawmaw. Though she may have seemed quiet she knew how to tell a story and she loved sharing her life with even the newest stranger. What a rare quality these days when so often it takes years and years to really know someone. I love that many of my friends at my wedding surely complimented me about the perfect October farm setting but there was more talk over the breakfast conversations had with my Mawmaw the morning after the wedding. You couldn't have met Mawmaw, learned her name, and not heard about her family - namely her 7 daughters. It's funny - I remember every second of her at events like those - a wedding, following the birth of one of my babies, or one of her daughter's 50th birthday parties. She knew how to celebrate life and like I said before - she really knew what mattered most and I see that now. I knew it when she was alive but I didn't appreciate it the way I do now - and it didn't change me until this past year when I would think back about this special Mawmaw-like-presence that I so craved.

Unfortunately, isn't that how it often goes...we think we know how much we value a person but it's not really until their chair is empty that we recognize the richness of their presence? This year I have taken in so many treasures that I wouldn't have had I not this unique space left open in my heart. She really was just an easy person but I would never call her simple. There was alot to her but her character really came through her actions - not just some empty words. She loved others exceptionally and without obligation. She didn't require much. And as you would assume with 7 daughters, 16 grandkids, and a bunch more great grandkids she was quite a mother to many. 3 weeks ago as were quietly enjoying our stay at Northside hospital after the birth of our 3rd son I had one of those moments where I literally craved my Mawmaw's presence. If there was anyone who would champion a woman having a whole lot of kids and even having them back to back to back it was her! Even though she had experienced many births of her own and of her own grandchildren she always made me feel like I was let in on her secret through the birth of my own children. I loved getting to share that secret with her. So it was such an honor for us to get to use her middle name in naming our newest little boy. I love getting to call our little boy by my sweet grandmother's middle name as many knew her as Mary John. It makes me smile every time I talk to him knowing the life and legacy behind his name.

And then there are the things this year that just made me laugh as if she was sitting in the kitchen with me over a cup of coffee. I can't hear Randy Travis and not picture my 70+ year old grandma in her cowboy hat and dancing boots. That woman was never shy of a dance floor and really there isn't a country song that doesnt make me think of her. Then a few months ago I decided to try to make one of her cakes with some of the very utensils that stocked her tiny but inviting kitchen. I literally laughed myself to tears at what would have embarrassed her to say was a mock up of her cake. She could make the most perfect cake at 2am with her eyes closed. What I would have done this year to really know what she meant by half of her loose directions in her recipes that were compiled into a family cook book several years ago. I now know that her "2 cups" is really about 3 cups of flour if you use her measuring standards!

I do not believe that the years will get any easier especially as we continue to encounter many of her most favorite things- Christmas, birthdays, Memorial day cookouts and new births. But I do believe we'll continue to get to know Mawmaw even more as the marks she left on so many begin to shine through even the things we do and the way we treat other people and the way we learn to treasure the most important things like she did - relationships and family.

Thank you, Mawmaw, for continuing to teach me so much and mold me into the selfless servant and mother that I hope to be.

John "Bradford"

After making us wait several long days and nights past our due date our not-so-little 3rd son joined our family last Friday morning at 2:12am. To say the wait was torture is an understatement. We were all okay with the whole 40-week thing but once we realized that our 3rd (and so far laziest) of children didn't want to join us even after the 40 week mark - things started to get a little hectic around here. Or maybe I was just the frantic one thinking every twist in my belly or hiccup would result in a birth story.

Had I even tried to put together this childs birth story I would not have come close to the amount of excitement he wanted to stir up on his actual birthday. The not-too-gory details include a 12am phnoecall to a sweet grandma who had just taken some benadryl to fight a cold and her middle of the night drive from South Georgia, a high-five with the other sweet grandma in the middle of our neighborhood as we fled for the hospital, one wrong turn despite living 1 mile from the country's largest birthing hospital, a whole hour and a half of labor, and then what I call as the moment I saw Jesus when the 9lb baby finally made his way into the world at lightning speed. I am just happy 10 days later that he is here and that he came with a story to tell.






We knew his name right away though we hadn't confirmed it before we got to the hospital. Believe it or not there were about 10 seconds when I thought he was a girl because no one would tell me what just happened or what actually came out. I had thought this whole pregnancy that this baby was a boy and I had already started to dream of the adventures our boys could take us on and the royal treatment I might receive being the only girl of the house so I was quite happy to learn that Bradford was actually the boy I had planned on and more so, that despite all of the many risks that we had learned of throughout this pregnancy - he was a healthy, whopping 9lb1oz boy. John is the middle name of both my "mawmaw" who passed away last year and my dads' dad who passed away in 2008 so there was no question that John would be a part of this baby's name. I love that we get to honor so many dear people in our lives through this childs life. Bradford is Brad's full name and I have loved it since day 1. Brad wasn't sure about using his name on a 3rd child, rather than the 1st, but I think it couldn't be more fitting. This baby's personality reminds me of Brad's already....laid back, easy-going, slow and controlled with bursts of energy that seem to come from nowhere!

The big boys have loved their new baby brother and done everything in the power to "help" him. Last Friday was my first day without help. It went like this...pajamas until 1030...I finally got everyone dressed and then sweet Bradford projectile vomitted all over me, the dog, and William. So, we changed clothes, and headed out the door for a laundry/sanity trip. We came home to a dining room full of torn apart newborn dirty diapers that Amos, the unloved dog for the moment had eaten. Sweet. While I was cleaning the diapers up the baby was ready to eat and I guess William was too as I came into the den to find William sucking down the 4 ounces of milk (not formula) that I had made for the baby. Ummm...I guess there are health benefits to that considering all of the hooplah in the media now about breastfeeding?? So, the baby was short changed a little bit and stayed fussy for the rest of the afternoon. I think I opened my first beer of 10 months at 1:30pm that day and had a good laugh to myself while (thankfully) everyone napped. That is the bonus of having your kids within three years - they are all still in the nap stage!














Luckily, grandma came to the rescue and offered to send the big boys to "camp grandma" as I call it in South Georgia for a few days. I was very hesitant to take her up on this and not because "Camp grandma" wouldnt be the most fun thing these boys had ever done but I was afraid (seriously) that I would be bored this week with just a newborn at home. Oh friends, I am not bored! And neither are the kiddies. They have picked peaches, played in the pool, had ice cream, rode on trucks in the "muuud" as Brooks says, cooked on "their" grill, and basically taken over their town for the week.











On the other hand Bradford and I have slept in, snuggled, cleaned every dirty/crumby corner in our house, taken umpteen showers in case they are the last ones I experience when reality sets in next week, eaten lunch out, roamed in and out of stores with no cares, enjoyed dates with my main man, sat around in our pajamas snuggling and listening to the rain and basically - done the best form of recovery that I have ever known. I mean, I have not had this kind of freedom in 3 years and while I know maybe tomorrow I will really miss William's goofy laugh and Brooks' amazing explanations about everything - today I am just fine. Really, I am just fine and the quiet is the best medicine for a post partum mother. This will be a time I won't forget ever as the baby and I have really been able to get to know each other and truly rest. Thank you, grandma and big daddy! What a perfect gift to us!

My heart is so full as I think back about this pregnancy and the last 10 days. This baby was literally a miracle baby from the start. Somehow he got past what we thought was the most assured form of birth control, he helped snap me back into some better sleep, he grew and grew rather well (or big and strong like Brooks prayed every night) despite having half of the normal size of umbilical chord and other early-pregnancy complications, and then he did just as we asked and missed his big brother's birthday by a whole 26 hours. For this child we did pray and we are so grateful to be given this great responsibility to raise another son, another father and husband one day, another brother, and another genuine man of God. Welcome to our family of 5 baby boy!

The good and bad of making it until your due date

Let's start with the not-so-pretty:
1)The underside of your belly gets sunburnt because you didn't think you'd need clothes any longer/bigger than the few you had already bought so you walk around town (unknowing) that the bottom 2 inches of your stomach are showing. Classy.
2)Store owners and workers really don't want your business and their jokes are all the same..."Oh, I'm not ready to deliver a baby today"..."Should you be out in public like that?"......."I hope your not by yourself lady!"
3)You've now prepared for the help with the older boys 4 times over....washed clothes, folded clothes, stocked up on oatmeal and diapers.....and then 3 more days go by and you do it again! 3 more days....do it again!
4)The word "late" under any circumstance carries a negative connotation. Can you think of an instance when being "late" is a good thing? I've been thinking about this all day and I have yet to come up with one.
5)Your 6 year old neighbor down the street asks you why you ate so much lunch?
6)You get to really dwell on all the things that didn't happen....the swaddle blankets are still lost, there is still no real "room" for the baby (though we've learned by now that this isn't necessary for awhile), oh and we have yet to confirm a name
7)You get to know the weird middle of night habits of your other neighbors from your multiple mid-sleep restroom breaks. This could go below, too. It's quite entertaining.
8)Surely the longer you stay pregnant and the longer your body stretches the worse the outcome, right? I just know after this 3rd one my poor used body is going to have a loooong recovery with a long way to stretch "back"
9)The steering wheel is in the way
10)Your 21 month old likes to pull at your belly button like a slingshot
11)It's now late May and your body temperature is already soaring. Yuck!
12) No matter how much or how little sleep you get there is no kind of tired to describe this kind of tired.

But it's all worth it because....
1)You get to have an excuse for everything. No one wants to mess with a 40-week pregnant lady. Addmitedly, I have taken advantage of my late-term pregnancy state to get by with or get out of alot of things lately. Please don't judge me.
2) You still get to go through the McDonald's drive through everyday at 10:30 for your half and half sweet tea with a lemon that you swear you'll cut once your pregnancy is over.
3)You get lots of calls and some good catch up from your friends wondering if they missed the news.
4)You can continue to add to the "list" of things to do before little one arrives. I know my husband is so over this list.
5)You get to watch everyone else who was due with their baby near your due date move on into the "unknown" as call it and learn from their experience (I guess this can be good and bad, right?)
6) You get to actually celebrate your sweet husband's birthday rather than spend it in the hospital as I was sure we would be doing
7) You get to try a whole bunch of crazy/"I can't believe I did that while I am pregnant" things in order to bring on labor
8)Every week brings on a new massage or pedicure or other personal hygeine service of sorts. Everyone knows you can't go into labor without your toes done!
9)You still get to feel the unfathomable, indescribable feeling of having a full sized baby turn inside your belly or kick his foot when you press on his spine
10)Random neighbors drop flowers in your garage "just because"
11) You atleast KNOW that your baby will be on the larger side and therefore, hope that he comes out knowing how to sleep long stretches (fingers crossed)
12)You get yet another weekend with your already seeming "complete" family. This weekend we went to a picnic, cooked out, and enjoyed the weather and the "big" boys. It's amazing to watch them and enjoy their lively personalities and think that there is another personality soon to be added to the mix. If that doesn't point to a big God than I don't know what does because in all my story telling and dreaming I would never have thought that this family could take on more life and more energy and more joy. I'm grateful that God knows best and I don't.
13)Your patience is stretched as far as your belly is at this point but it's a sweet lesson to learn. A lady today asked me if I was anxiously waiting or just waiting. Really, we are having a good time waiting. We are getting out and enjoying time together so I am so grateful. It's assuring knowing that God knows this baby's perfect birthday....the date that will follow him for hopefully many years to come. Each hour gets a little more wearing than the one before but then something will renew my perspective and I hope for several more days of just the 4 of us.
14)You don't feel bad if you don't make dinner or if your children eat waffles three times a day. Just getting food in everyone's mouth is a feat. And really, there isn't a whole lot of guilt about anything!
15)You have an excuse for making bad decisions or forgetting things.
16) You have CRAZY dreams that make you feel like the life of any party! Whoa...I can't wait to live up to the non-pregnant, quite fascinating woman in my crazy, vivid dreams! But then last night I dreamt this baby who I just have known is a boy was actually a girl and we had to give her 6 names because we couldn't decide. Now, if these dreams are telling about reality we are in some trouble! I hope she likes blue and trucks!
17)You don't feel silly walking up and down your driveway for 45 minutes while your kids nap. Isn't walking the best thing?
18)Maneuvering to pick something up off the floor is a little exhilerating...you never know if this could be the thing that did it!
19)The doctor's love you because their predictions were correct and you really get close to the nurses and staff.
20)It's all discomfort that you know has to end one day! The baby has to come out at some point, right??


So, we are here...waiting....eating....moaning....burping...chugging water...and then supporting Costco with the stock of endless toilet paper...eating spicy food... cleaning and recleaning and doing everything else that seems unpretty to the average person but fitting to anyone in my condition. It's funny...just last week I was walking around on top of the world, enjoying some better sleep, wondering why any pregnant woman ever had a complaint, still doing everything I usually did, lifting heavier weights in my strength class than the non-40-week-pregnant-ladies but something happened this weekend and I lost all modesty, will power, and motivation. Maybe this is my body's way of resting me before the obvious or maybe it's just helping me pace as we could still be sitting here next Monday?? Either way - life in slow motion is rather enjoyable and freeing, especially for someone who doesn't ever do well at taking it easy. And at the end of the day I know deep down that this event is out of my control no matter how many jumping jacks I do or egglplant dishes I eat and that is the best part of it all. As I have read over and over and certainly cling to today -

Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

No!, Why? and Will-E-Yum

I feel like we have a sound machine in our house that runs from 723am to 804pm everyday with a slight intermission from 130-4. As I have said before we have spent a TON of time in our house lately. It really baffles me....we have been here 8 weeks now and other than our necessary trips we haven't left the confines of our little home. It has been the most crazy thing in my last four years as I used to find reasons to just get out every morning and afternoon. I attribute much of our new-found stability to the ease that that his house has provided for entertainment. There is nothing a mother loves to hear more from a toddler than I want to go to my house and play, mommy. So, that is just what we have done. Yesterday I got a little too overambitious and took on 3 different projects after nap time and I ended up close to labor I think and maybe desperately needing a glass of wine on the porch once the boys were down for the night. Here are the pictures for proof.......

But of course the other part of our staycation of late is the fact that it is just easier to move my added weight and two hefty toddlers from one floor to the other rather than from the car to a grocery cart to a store to the car to a park to a slide to a restaurant and back to the car. That makes me tired writing it. When we do venture out and go through the ritual above I literally shut the back door after everyone is buckled enough to save a life and I put my forehead on the car and probably repeat a curse word that I never thought I'd say. Atleast I am honest with you. So...we are nesting of sorts and sincerely enjoying our unplugged, uncluttered, unhurried life before the baby. Back to the sound machine....while we are spending all of these hours at home I start to notice that our conversations go on repeat about every 6 minutes. Here is a little glimpse. William, let's go down stairs and eat (fill in the blank). NO! Come on little man...downstairs. NO! Brooks, tell William to come down stairs and eat (fill in the blank). WHY? Because it's time to eat and he wont' listen to me. WHY? Because. But WHY? Well, Im going downstairs to eat and yall can come when you are ready. WHY? BECAUSE I WANT TO! (Then Brooks to William)....William, let's go down stairs and eat baby. (He calls him baby). NO! (Brooks) WHY not, Will-E-Yum? Then William repeats his name - Will-E-Yum. Then Brooks says his name again with 3 syllables because this is just what they do and then they repeat the name back to eachother for a good 4 minutes. By that time I've already eaten 3 waffles and just wait for any crying to begin. Repeat process again in 6 minutes or following any task I give them or question I ask of them. So as you can guess we are right on track with our stages. William is the master of the cutest pierced lip "NO!" that I could ever not want to hear and Brooks wants to know why it rains, why the wind blows, why my belly sticks out, why carrots are orange, why dad goes to work, why he needs to say sorry to his brother when he is not nice, why he has to go to bed, why the bird flies across the sky, and why I don't know the answers when I say "I just don't know, buddy." Isn't this the predictable role of an almost 2 and 3 year old? And as for the Will-E-Yum....it is just plain hysterical. My mom tried to teach Brooks how to say his little brother's name rather than "Nillum" as he is so called and now the boys think it is the funniest thing at the most inapproporiate times to repeat their little saying....Will-E-Yum. I have to find the video of this cause it's a keeper. So that's where we are.....enjoying our days in pajamas, getting to know the trees and birds in our yard, and just waiting waiting waiting on everything to change in a matter of days!

In a bubble

We have officially spent our first month in our new space and while the boxes are out of the house and the walls have started to (literally) take on our presence, there still seems to be so much undone. I am mostly to blame. I have started 6 projects that I can think of and I have finished one and that is because the more-un-pregnant adult of the house took over the reigns at the end of the little project but I still take full credit for initiating and happily crossed the little pest off "the list."

It's funny being a first time home owner. You sit cozily in the comfort of your own home and you notice the dirt built up around the window seal and you think, "hnn...if I want that clean I have to clean it." I know this sounds elementary but that's what I think throughout the day and then I hope I can just forget that I ever saw the dirt or else "the list," the one that only grows and never dwindles, starts to overtake my daily sanity and rob me from needed sleep at night.

So as you can imagine, there is this incessant sense of coming undone. Not to add, another real, live, eating, crying, sleeping and mess-making (pooping) human will come under this roof in a matter of weeks and I am not exaggerating when I say zero preparation has occurred for this event. ZERO. Isn't a 2nd and 3rd child worlds different from that crazy first experience? Brad said the other day that he needs 3 days to prepare for this new baby. I'm not sure where he got 3 from but I believe almost anything he says and I was comforted. That is, until a few days later when I visited a friend who had a baby in the hospital and realized seriously for the 1st time that I have to have this baby. Like, it has to come out of me...not him or anyone else. As a pregnant woman (after the first baby atleast) you quickly adjust to the fact that you're pregnant and your body has been occupied by a soccer player. Then you start to think about the changes this will impose on your family and your daily routine and how well (wishful thinking) the new baby will fit into the family once he/she is here. But somehow I always block out the middle chapter. Oh yeah, this thing has to come out!I know people have babies all the time - in fact 54 a day born at the hospital where we deliver, and I have done this twice before too but I think every woman forgets the birth part of it all (that's why we all do it again for the most part) and then you have the realization at the oddest time. I was in the McDonald's line at the hospital getting a tea when it hit me. I am convinced this "unknown thing" the 2nd time around is what contributed to the start of my year and a half with insomnia. I was never a worrier but all of a sudden you feel the weight of responsibility on your shoulders but you are just waiting for the event to happen....deliver a healthy baby, figure out how to feed it, keep the family at home happy, learn to survive on little sleep (and not have the joy of "sleeping when the baby sleeps" because the other baby is awake!) and quickly recover because nothing stops while your'e having a baby. And can all of that happen while your mom is able to help and when your husband doesn't have a big meeting out of town?!?!?! The first baby for me things did seem to stop and everyone else seemed atleast to stop - I didn't know the date for atleast 6 weeks and my while world revolved around a 3 hour feeding schedule but when you add kid upon kid you just don't have that same luxury....everything moves on because after all - it isn't your first rodeo.

Anyway, we aren't prepared one bit for this major event but I am not surprised, actually comforted. Finally aftetr my first two attempts I've learned a few things. A baby does not need the perfect going home outfit in order to thrive at home. He or she really doesn't even need it's own coordinated room or bed - actually, I had a friend who had her baby in a padded drawer on the floor when they first came home because their apartment was so tiny. Really, like the paper work says from the hospital - I need an up to date car seat and I need to know it works in my car. The end. The other thing I have learned is that no matter how many birth stories you watch on TLC or how many woes or thrills you hear from your friends or strangers who just delivered via cesarean or in a bath tub - your own story won't be the same. There is absolutely nothing predictable when it comes to labor. Many women tell me I need to race to the hospital the moment I hiccup and feel a tug because the third child tends to fall out. (Does this gross you out? Just imagine a stork and a baby falling from the sky. That's all). But then in the very 10 minutes I have a lady with 5 children tell me #3-5 were the longest, slowest, worst labors of them all. What? Exactly. There is no use in really "preparing" because I couldn't prepare enough.

Here's the encouraging part if you've waited for the climax of this little rant. The baby will join our family and it will be just fine. Praise God! My mom brought home her 4th child and says that very afternoon we asked her what was for dinner. Life moves on and really that is the best for everyone. The baby will ease into our new normal just as we will but because we have prayed over this baby's life and his place in our family and because we know without any doubt that this baby was supposed to be in our-already-crowded family at this time - that it is in fact meant to be and it will be perfect. Truly, that is the assurance I hold so dearly everyday especially when I am out and about in public and welcome the most obnoxious comments and glares from the have-it-all-together-and-never-would-have-subjected-themselves-to-3-babies-in-3-years-type moms. Yes, maybe the path our family has followed wasn't in our plan but I am so glad it wasn't. I am just thankful to love and serve a big God that knows the details of my life and of each of the children we have brought into this world. It's a little crude of me but my response is always, "yes, but my heart is so full, too" to the lovely ladies and men who like to point out that I have my hands full. I signed up for this. I signed up for the mess, and the long hours, and the embarrassing tantrums in Publix, and the car filled with cheerios and goldfish. But I also signed up for the mornings at the park swinging our 20 month old endlessly because there is no place he'd rather be. And I signed up for the special time on the floor with all the boys and my unavoidable belly at night before bed that could never, never be put into words. Some of you know exactly what I mean. What a treasure, right?

That is why we've been camping out in this bubble for the last month. I've had friends in our old neighborhood call out of concern wondering where we have gone. I am grateful for the concern but also grateful for our time "away." I feel like for the first time in the short history of our family we are just that - a family with an address and a whole lot of undone things but a whole lot of rich moments that could never be replicated. I know that we are in that stage that so many moms a generation older than me would do anything to relive. While I certainly have my moments during the day that cause me to go into the bathroom and scream I also know we are in a short stage of life where almost everything is new and is fresh and is viewed by virgin eyes. That is why we are in this bubble for a little while.....just taking it al in....trying to relive a pic-nic or the thrill of a new matchbox car through the eye of a toddler.

Luckily the toddlers of this house have taught me (while in this bubble of mine) that I couldn't prepare for the Pope coming to visit if I tried. Life with little ones is unpredictable and as I've learned (thankfully) - the only thing little humans need is a whole lot of selfless love. The kind you don't know about until you become a parent. But is has nothing to do with the sweetest going home outfit or a matching monogrammed pillow in the nursery.

**********
Here are some (terrible quality) pictures of us in our little world lately. Can't you see why I don't mind it?



ANd here are a few of the boys at their little wee-school. The last one makes me melt.

Where did we go?

Oh, hey! Yes, were all still here...all 4.5 of us plus a dog and we are doing quite well this Spring. Technichally, we moved 5 miles north of our beloved little abode in Brookhaven but I feel like we are worlds away....atleast for a short season. Our previous home of 2+ years served us very well. We enjoyed the best neighbors turned friends that a family could ever ask for...you know, the kind that intrude a little bit in eachothers lives but the result is so invaluable. The old neighborhood also had more young kids under the age of 5 than any place I've ever known. There were young families everywhere and it surely made it easy to find encouragement as a young mom or dad. The neighborhood park was a toddlers dream and a stay at home mom's source for daily sanity. Our kids rarely stepped foot on the play structures but rather laid claim to a new toy a week that was disposed of by one of the neighborhood residents. ANd our little house was little but perfect for us for two years. I didn't know that sheets could stay ironed if only they had a closet for them. I didn't care that the kithen didn't allow for a whole party to engage in it's space because as it always goes - we all gathered in the small kitchen anyway. And my boys didn't know that they needed a little more running room or a whole basement in order to thrive. They were happy, loved, and they loved coming home to their house every time we were away. I love kids for that reason....always reminding us of the sweeter things in life.
That house in that season were so right for our little family and I know that GOd knew when He planted us there that we would bloom. There were some extremely painful weeks in that little home but even richer moments playing on the floor in the playroom, gathered around the kitchen table, and enjoying the gift of like-minded neighbors on an afternoon in the front yard. I could write a whole post on our neighbors and the special place they have in each of our hearts.

SO, 2.5 weeks ago we moved and I can say the same thing about this new space. From the first day I could tell this would be the right house for our family. Actually, the perfect house. I could list so many little things about this house that cause me to pinch myself daily and they don't have to do with granite counter tops, 10 foot ceilings, and superb crown molding. It is the way we can use this new house....to entertain and to enjoy each other. This house has such a welcoming presence to it and the boys and I have found ourselves not wanting to leave the house at all! What? This is sooooo different than our last house. As much as I loved it I had to get out every morning and afternoon. Here we have spent many days in our pajamas traversing the many stairs, finding things to get into or places to lay around. Oddly enough, this has been so good for me in this new season.

Our new baby should join our family in the next 6-8 weeks I guess and I couldn't think of a better way to spend the weeks - hiding out! The boys are in the most edible stages and unfortunately, no picture or amount of words can adequately capture who they are right now. So luckily for me - I am here with them all day everyday and I've loved getting to experience every ounce of their personalities in this short period before a new little one takes up my free arms.


I've been a part of a mom's bible study at a local church for 2 years now and a mom I know of but do not know very well wrote about this "pull" today. This pull to actually "be" with our kids as opposed to writing about them, snapping photos of them, and taking account of their lives in every way is so intense - especially when there is so much good stuff to chronicle. And ultimately, I love writing more than any past time so it is where I want to spend my time. But right now I just don't have that kind of time. These weeks are too short. The days fly by so quickly and each week brings about new independence that lessens their need for me. I don't want to put my "pen" down one day soon and realize I have a whole blog about our days but I don't really remember them from first hand experience. So, yes, maybe for a little while we are taking a vacation from our old ways and allowing this move and the new season upon us to slow us down. I'm just glad we have stopped before it was too late!


Oh, and these are in our backyard and I adore them. We moved the week everything bloomed. Again...perfect timing!