One day sometime soon I hope to recount the last 4 weeks. They have been tremendous weeks in so many different ways. Of course the birth of a child is monumental by itself but along with that special day there have been some rich lessons and memories that I hope I never forget. Some of them so syrupy-sweet and a few of them so low that I hope to never feel that way again. I always love looking back on past blogs or in a journal from years ago and seeing where God has brought me and how he has taught me something even in the midst of chaos or turmoil. So, for that reason - I do hope I find some time in between size 1 and size 4 diapers and sponge bathing and bubble baths to write down my sentiments from the last several weeks.
What I can say today is that I am so grateful. My heart is as full as my eyes are heavy and my mind is as at rest as my body is tired. I can certainly say that I am more grateful for a few little things that I may not have even recognized had the last few weeks not gone the way they had.
I am grateful to fall asleep on my own. Never before did I think I would be so giddy to have 2.5 hours of sleep at night but after walking through some unwanted late pregnancy and post-delivery insomnia I am truly thrilled to wake up at 1:11am to the sound of a crying newborn knowing that I had actually fallen asleep, without any medicine, even if for only 2.5 hours. This is still a battle I will fight for a little while I am sure. Every night I get a little anxious just thinking about falling asleep but each night since Sunday it has gotten a little easier and my mind is a little less occupied with what used to be so natural. I am so grateful for this small thing.
I am grateful for the clean laundry and the dishes that have been put away since our first day back from the hospital. Brad's precious mom is here now playing a 2nd mom to Brooks and doing anything and everything around the house. We are certainly being spoiled by all of her help and the help we had last week from Grandma-Nise. I know next week will be a harsh jump back into reality as I am sure the dishes and laundry will not even be thought about until we are truly out of underwear but this week I am just soaking up the help and the attention that Brooks is getting. This has been a feat in itself and another beautiful lesson learned over these past several weeks....to receive and accept the help that so many people are willing to offer without any guilt! I am so grateful for this small thing, too.....a clean house and a constant companion for Brooks.
These may have been small things to me before but these weeks have given me a whole new perspective and caused me to truly be grateful for blessings large and small. And because everyone likes a list - here are a few more.....
*My mushy yet not round tummy that I can lay on at night to sleep. It has not felt my bed sheets in two years and it is so happy to get to do so.
*A blue ribbon on my mailbox. Our house certainly hasn't felt like a house with a new arrival inside until the last few days as we hid out for a week and had few visitors. Now that the visitors are rolling around and there is a bow on the mailbox all seems normal and celebratory. Thank you.
*The lack of heart burn and constant acid reflux that had become my daily visitor
*Barney and Friends. I never thought I'd say that but the biggest brother has a new fixation and it gives the little brother and me time to eat breakfast
*A cold beer. I ordered my own last night at dinner. I don't know that I have ever ordered a beer at dinner but I think I will start. I felt so grown up and non-pregnant. Ahhhh.....
*The idea that fall is around the corner. Last night a sweet friend brought us a yummy soup for dinner and everything about it screamed fall. I don't care that it is still 90 degrees outside - I am so ready for football Saturdays (whether or not we experience them from our living room), cooler temperatures and the ability to get out with the boys in the middle of the day, and the return of some kind of normalcy to our daily routine. We are also planning to take our summer vacation this fall to Seaside and I am so ready!
*A shower. I am about to shower and I can't tell you how good it is to see my toes. This time around I don't miss one bit the kicks and the hiccups and the feel of a pregnant belly. I LOVE seeing my toes and bending over in the shower to pick up the soap! It's truly the little things and I am so glad that these last weeks have given me a whole new appreciation for those little things.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
William is here!
Oh goodness, I am having 14 thoughts at one time. Our little boy is here and he has been here a week now. William was born last Monday at 2:38pm and was a perfect 7lbs and 15ounces. I never thought I'd be the blogger who doesn't log on for a week after the birth of a child. I remember reading other beloved blogs wondering why that mama friend of mine hadn't let the world wide web know about the arrival of a new person! Well, honestly, I'd love to have written a sweet post from the hospital but we were just too exhausted and we decided to hide out for a few days....which turned into a week of hiding out at home and at the only hospital better than Northside - my mom's house. We are finally home today and have had our closest day to normal - yet.
I have too many thoughts from this past week to even begin to organize them into something pretty for you to read so here are some thoughts to chew on for a little bit.
*William makes me like newborns again. Oh my, he is just the cutest little thing and I love getting love on him as much as I can. I know he is our little blessing from God and even in his one week here he has brought us all together in such a sweet way.
*Brooks seems like a 5 year old to me still! I think he should be able to sit and talk about the Braves with me and not turn over his french fries like a toddler would.
*Brooks doesn't like me much these days but I'll grow on him again I am sure in the weeks to come.
*Having family and dear friends have taken on a whole new meaning to me....if it weren't for our friends and family this week we honestly would all be in a very not good place.
*The big man of the house has been such a rock this past week, and a good mama to B, and a good house keeper, and the most encouraging "other half" I could have imagined.
*I really want to go to the grocery store and buy all the brands I like to buy and take my time in the aisles. When will this happen? Is it odd that that is all I want to do right now.
*All the babies are sleeping right now and I just had the thought "this is nothing.....I've got this thing down." Ha.
*I should sleep but I am craving "normalcy" so badly that I can't shut the computer or turn off the phone
*Prayer is powerful and the prayers of so many this week for my rest and sleep have been felt and answered. I feel like a new woman today even if is due to one night of sleep out of the last month. I'll take anything and I give all of the praise to my Heavenly Father who knows the rest I need.
*Everything is different this time around.....everything. More on that later, too.
*William and I have the opposite problem - he can't wake up for anything and I can't fall asleep if you paid me. I look at him so cozy and snoozing, though, and somehow I feel rested. Thank you, sweet baby.
Okay, he is here. We are alive. God is so good to us for blessing us in this way and for going before us as we walk through this season of raising two boys (and maybe dealing with a mom who doesn't know how to fall asleep!) I feel so dearly loved and grateful for our story...
I have too many thoughts from this past week to even begin to organize them into something pretty for you to read so here are some thoughts to chew on for a little bit.
*William makes me like newborns again. Oh my, he is just the cutest little thing and I love getting love on him as much as I can. I know he is our little blessing from God and even in his one week here he has brought us all together in such a sweet way.
*Brooks seems like a 5 year old to me still! I think he should be able to sit and talk about the Braves with me and not turn over his french fries like a toddler would.
*Brooks doesn't like me much these days but I'll grow on him again I am sure in the weeks to come.
*Having family and dear friends have taken on a whole new meaning to me....if it weren't for our friends and family this week we honestly would all be in a very not good place.
*The big man of the house has been such a rock this past week, and a good mama to B, and a good house keeper, and the most encouraging "other half" I could have imagined.
*I really want to go to the grocery store and buy all the brands I like to buy and take my time in the aisles. When will this happen? Is it odd that that is all I want to do right now.
*All the babies are sleeping right now and I just had the thought "this is nothing.....I've got this thing down." Ha.
*I should sleep but I am craving "normalcy" so badly that I can't shut the computer or turn off the phone
*Prayer is powerful and the prayers of so many this week for my rest and sleep have been felt and answered. I feel like a new woman today even if is due to one night of sleep out of the last month. I'll take anything and I give all of the praise to my Heavenly Father who knows the rest I need.
*Everything is different this time around.....everything. More on that later, too.
*William and I have the opposite problem - he can't wake up for anything and I can't fall asleep if you paid me. I look at him so cozy and snoozing, though, and somehow I feel rested. Thank you, sweet baby.
Okay, he is here. We are alive. God is so good to us for blessing us in this way and for going before us as we walk through this season of raising two boys (and maybe dealing with a mom who doesn't know how to fall asleep!) I feel so dearly loved and grateful for our story...
Monday, August 16, 2010
Soon enough!
I wish I had a cute picture to post of Brad and I on our doorstep with my pillow in hand and my fully belly protruding to it's final peak just minutes before we drove to the hospital to be induced and hours before our new son was born. I'm pretty sure any picture from the next 72 hours will be due to the craftsmanship of someone photo shopping my eyes to be open so it doesn't look like I missed the event.
This will conclude the 4th night without my body feeling sleep. I have felt lots of "rest" so I am grateful for that. My sweet mama rubbed my head for an hour yesterday and I got the most comfortable I've been in weeks but still my mind won and I lay awake just thinking about how desperately I want to sleep.
So yesterday when we got the call that today (in a few hours) we were to check ourselves in at the "baby birth delivery place' as Brad so eloquently called it on the phone the other day in his own state of exhaustion )aka - hospital) I was slightly hysterical. Brad can edit this later and tell you how I really was but I don't have adequate words right now. It wasn't pretty and certainly not my picture of "our sweet night before induction." It was as if the last 10 months finally seemed really real and I kind of fell apart. Luckily, Brad has been my rock and he had just the plan for my weary state - food and exercise! We walked our neighborhood together and talked and went to 3 different places to find exactly what we wanted on our last of dinners as a family of 3 and we prayed for today. And, honestly, I got in bed early last night with the most peace I have had in weeks and not one thought about the morning. More so, I just felt genuine joy that the Lord had brought us full cirlce to a place of excitement and anticipation for what was to come.
And though it is now 4:39 and I only have one eye half open to write this and I am only even writing this because I can't walk from the couch to the bed to the kitchen one more time and I can't lay awake any longer - I know as I have said all along that my Father in Heaven knows these details and He has gone before each step and each day of this pregnancy. We look forward to sharing our news with you our precious friends and family tomorrow and we covet all of the prayers and phone calls that we have certainly felt this weekend. We know that when we are weak, God is strong and I am so much more confident in having a strong God to go before me in a few hours than a few hours of sleep under my belt and a little energy of my own.
As many of you have mentioned that you are continuing to pray for us - here are a few requests:
-That in the days and weeks to come my sleep would be restored and that even the few hours in the night that I get to sleep off and on would be rejuvenating and replenishing
-That the little B man would be comforted by all of the sweet people watching over him during this transition and that his heart would be excited and ready to meet a little brother
-That the doctors and nurses would be courteous and make decisions wisely (this sounds odd but in this state of delirium I really pray that we are surrounded by sensitive care givers that understand the effects of the lack of sleep I have experienced)
-That the baby would show no signs of sickness from GBS (you can look it up if you are interested)
-That God would be glorified in every way through the birth of this new life
Thank you, friends, for walking along side of us. I can't wait to get my hands on this little person and never let him go as I assure him of his perfect purpose in our lives. We cherish your encouragement and prayers.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with a few shots of the man in charge for the next few days. I am not worried one bit that things won't get taken care of......
This will conclude the 4th night without my body feeling sleep. I have felt lots of "rest" so I am grateful for that. My sweet mama rubbed my head for an hour yesterday and I got the most comfortable I've been in weeks but still my mind won and I lay awake just thinking about how desperately I want to sleep.
So yesterday when we got the call that today (in a few hours) we were to check ourselves in at the "baby birth delivery place' as Brad so eloquently called it on the phone the other day in his own state of exhaustion )aka - hospital) I was slightly hysterical. Brad can edit this later and tell you how I really was but I don't have adequate words right now. It wasn't pretty and certainly not my picture of "our sweet night before induction." It was as if the last 10 months finally seemed really real and I kind of fell apart. Luckily, Brad has been my rock and he had just the plan for my weary state - food and exercise! We walked our neighborhood together and talked and went to 3 different places to find exactly what we wanted on our last of dinners as a family of 3 and we prayed for today. And, honestly, I got in bed early last night with the most peace I have had in weeks and not one thought about the morning. More so, I just felt genuine joy that the Lord had brought us full cirlce to a place of excitement and anticipation for what was to come.
And though it is now 4:39 and I only have one eye half open to write this and I am only even writing this because I can't walk from the couch to the bed to the kitchen one more time and I can't lay awake any longer - I know as I have said all along that my Father in Heaven knows these details and He has gone before each step and each day of this pregnancy. We look forward to sharing our news with you our precious friends and family tomorrow and we covet all of the prayers and phone calls that we have certainly felt this weekend. We know that when we are weak, God is strong and I am so much more confident in having a strong God to go before me in a few hours than a few hours of sleep under my belt and a little energy of my own.
As many of you have mentioned that you are continuing to pray for us - here are a few requests:
-That in the days and weeks to come my sleep would be restored and that even the few hours in the night that I get to sleep off and on would be rejuvenating and replenishing
-That the little B man would be comforted by all of the sweet people watching over him during this transition and that his heart would be excited and ready to meet a little brother
-That the doctors and nurses would be courteous and make decisions wisely (this sounds odd but in this state of delirium I really pray that we are surrounded by sensitive care givers that understand the effects of the lack of sleep I have experienced)
-That the baby would show no signs of sickness from GBS (you can look it up if you are interested)
-That God would be glorified in every way through the birth of this new life
Thank you, friends, for walking along side of us. I can't wait to get my hands on this little person and never let him go as I assure him of his perfect purpose in our lives. We cherish your encouragement and prayers.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with a few shots of the man in charge for the next few days. I am not worried one bit that things won't get taken care of......
Friday, August 13, 2010
Desperate
{Skip to the post below for pictures and light hearted reading material. Skip to here to look at the shoes I am loving these days. Skip to here to see what looks sooo yummy to me right this second. Skip to here for some laughs.}
Editor's note: This will be brief and a little too honest.
I am worn down. I am really really worn down and maybe even falling apart at the seams. These last 16 days have truly been one of the hardest seasons I have walked through because in the end, I have been stripped of any inkling of control that I once maintained. And though this is refreshing overall - it is surely exhausting during the process. This baby, but more so, this bothersome mind of mine has kept me awake for nights in a row. And not just, I'm awake off and on but like, I see every hour and literally do not find any rest. I have an entire new appreciation for people who deal with insomnia on a regular basis and I pray with everything in me that the delivery of this baby also delivers me from this lack of sleep. I'm not thinking about anything at 2, 3 and 6 am - just thinking about how desperately I want to sleep which as I have learned only makes it worse. I think that before this two week episode of pre-labor signs I always thought I could control my sleep and the way my body felt- go to bed when I want and wake up (for most of my life with no alarm) when needed, exercise when I needed some energy and rest if I needed that more......Clearly, I have been proven so wrong.
The baby is not here. I promise you would know and so would the rest of the internet because that is how news travels these days. I will never again (though I never have) ask a very pregnant woman why her baby has not come yet. I know it sounds crazy but I have felt so defeated this week when asked this question as if I have had something to do with this upcoming birthday. Once again, maybe somewhere deep down I did think I could control this monumental date. Well, I'm getting my first wish...that this baby would stay put for as long as possible so that I could enjoy our firstborn for that much longer. Yes, God, I concede, I can not control or "will" this baby's timing and the fact that he hasn't come yet doesn't mean you love me any less or have forgotten about me. It's crazy but at times this week I have honestly thought - "ummm, someone up there forgot I was pregnant!"
So, yes, I am extremely desperate for physical and mental rest but I am more desperate for surrender and that is just what I think I did last night in the quiet of the night with just the street light following me as I paced around. God, I cried out to You surrendering the details and the timing of this birth to You. Brad pleaded with You as well to give me the rest I need and to carry us through these final days. And as desperate as I am for just a few hours of rest and a little peace for my mind - I was so grateful last night to have a companion to fight for me in the middle of the night. I was reminded that even this birth has greater impact and purpose than what I can even see. These last few weeks have certainly brought our family together in a way that nothing else has yet to have the power to do. I may be delirious today. My eyes may throb incessantly. My entire body may ache and be ready for relief but I am so assured of the Lord's plan for this baby in our family.
Thank you, for tracking with us and for the phone calls and emails of concern. I am so grateful and I apologize for my lack of response but my most alert time these days is between midnight and 6am and I don't think yall love me that much for a surprise phone call!
****
As of now, there is an induction scheduled for Monday. I am also very hesitant to commit to this and not because of the reality that induction brings but because it really goes against all of my previous convictions. This is for a whole separate blog post that I am sure you will want to skip over again but once again, this pregnancy has forced me to let go of any slight ounce of control that I thought I once had over this new life. Goodness, could I be anymore vulnerable right now?
The little B man will be filling in while I am away. He is sure to bring you much more entertaining material. Some topics he has mentioned to me this week are 1) How cool it is to throw things in the diaper genie and make your mom find them. Stinky! 2) What babies really think when we turn on that obnoxiously loud sound machine 3) How to roam around the house quietly and not make a sound when your mom calls you in order to then send her into premature labor from the sudden increased blood pressure, and, lastly, 4) Why everything looks like a "duck" to a one year old. Cool stuff.....be sure to check in while I'm away.
Editor's note: This will be brief and a little too honest.
I am worn down. I am really really worn down and maybe even falling apart at the seams. These last 16 days have truly been one of the hardest seasons I have walked through because in the end, I have been stripped of any inkling of control that I once maintained. And though this is refreshing overall - it is surely exhausting during the process. This baby, but more so, this bothersome mind of mine has kept me awake for nights in a row. And not just, I'm awake off and on but like, I see every hour and literally do not find any rest. I have an entire new appreciation for people who deal with insomnia on a regular basis and I pray with everything in me that the delivery of this baby also delivers me from this lack of sleep. I'm not thinking about anything at 2, 3 and 6 am - just thinking about how desperately I want to sleep which as I have learned only makes it worse. I think that before this two week episode of pre-labor signs I always thought I could control my sleep and the way my body felt- go to bed when I want and wake up (for most of my life with no alarm) when needed, exercise when I needed some energy and rest if I needed that more......Clearly, I have been proven so wrong.
The baby is not here. I promise you would know and so would the rest of the internet because that is how news travels these days. I will never again (though I never have) ask a very pregnant woman why her baby has not come yet. I know it sounds crazy but I have felt so defeated this week when asked this question as if I have had something to do with this upcoming birthday. Once again, maybe somewhere deep down I did think I could control this monumental date. Well, I'm getting my first wish...that this baby would stay put for as long as possible so that I could enjoy our firstborn for that much longer. Yes, God, I concede, I can not control or "will" this baby's timing and the fact that he hasn't come yet doesn't mean you love me any less or have forgotten about me. It's crazy but at times this week I have honestly thought - "ummm, someone up there forgot I was pregnant!"
So, yes, I am extremely desperate for physical and mental rest but I am more desperate for surrender and that is just what I think I did last night in the quiet of the night with just the street light following me as I paced around. God, I cried out to You surrendering the details and the timing of this birth to You. Brad pleaded with You as well to give me the rest I need and to carry us through these final days. And as desperate as I am for just a few hours of rest and a little peace for my mind - I was so grateful last night to have a companion to fight for me in the middle of the night. I was reminded that even this birth has greater impact and purpose than what I can even see. These last few weeks have certainly brought our family together in a way that nothing else has yet to have the power to do. I may be delirious today. My eyes may throb incessantly. My entire body may ache and be ready for relief but I am so assured of the Lord's plan for this baby in our family.
Thank you, for tracking with us and for the phone calls and emails of concern. I am so grateful and I apologize for my lack of response but my most alert time these days is between midnight and 6am and I don't think yall love me that much for a surprise phone call!
****
As of now, there is an induction scheduled for Monday. I am also very hesitant to commit to this and not because of the reality that induction brings but because it really goes against all of my previous convictions. This is for a whole separate blog post that I am sure you will want to skip over again but once again, this pregnancy has forced me to let go of any slight ounce of control that I thought I once had over this new life. Goodness, could I be anymore vulnerable right now?
The little B man will be filling in while I am away. He is sure to bring you much more entertaining material. Some topics he has mentioned to me this week are 1) How cool it is to throw things in the diaper genie and make your mom find them. Stinky! 2) What babies really think when we turn on that obnoxiously loud sound machine 3) How to roam around the house quietly and not make a sound when your mom calls you in order to then send her into premature labor from the sudden increased blood pressure, and, lastly, 4) Why everything looks like a "duck" to a one year old. Cool stuff.....be sure to check in while I'm away.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Why you read the blog anyway
I know it has nothing to do with the creative ability of the author and though I wish it were due to the warm fuzzies you feel all day after you click away to the next blog - I know that isn't the truth either (atleast not recently.) So, here you go, a few of the big brother to be....
Sidenote: Big brother! I can't even type the letters without losing it. How can this little baby be a big brother to a person that is even more of a baby? Please help me to continue to savor each step with this sweet boy and not get too caught up in the day to day "care" that is required for two under two! Please please please.
Hey, yes, I'm ready for my mom to have this baby, too, and be fun again. I'll call you when it happens. Okay? Bye.
My favorite face that my mom just doesn't understand.
Playing with my favorite "Too-too" train.
A picture of my mom at 39 weeks pregnant.
Just kidding! She considered posting it and then realized there was no angle that portrayed anything but big, pudgy, and uncomfortable!
Sidenote: Big brother! I can't even type the letters without losing it. How can this little baby be a big brother to a person that is even more of a baby? Please help me to continue to savor each step with this sweet boy and not get too caught up in the day to day "care" that is required for two under two! Please please please.
Hey, yes, I'm ready for my mom to have this baby, too, and be fun again. I'll call you when it happens. Okay? Bye.
My favorite face that my mom just doesn't understand.
Playing with my favorite "Too-too" train.
A picture of my mom at 39 weeks pregnant.
Just kidding! She considered posting it and then realized there was no angle that portrayed anything but big, pudgy, and uncomfortable!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Still here
Here are a few not-so-tall tales from our weekend. I'll be brief (or maybe not since I literally have NOTHING else to do but deliver a person to the world. Literally, there are no more frivolous things I can put on a to-do list at this point. I've brushed the dogs' teeth, wiped down the window sills, and, rewashed every piece of newborn clothing just to keep the Dreft smell fresh on the laundry. Therefore, I will pass this precious time that I could be growing a newborn outside of the womb and getting back to some kind of normal by comically looking at the weekends' adventures.)
Let's just say this.....we would have made a great sitcom this weekend.
Saturday we had made no plans because we all had the same premonition - that we would be lounging at Northside hospital enjoying an Einstein bagel (because we both can't wait for someone to bring us Einsteins in the morning....just like our experience with the first born. Yes, it's the little things!) Because we weren't at the hospital and we weren't having a baby we tried to act as if everything was as normal as it should have been. We finally made it to our vacation home, aka - my parents house - in Marietta, Before heading to the pool we put B down for a nap in his crib in their house. He has it better over there than he does in his own house, mind you. We shut the door and went away as usual, knowing that after 15 minutes of baby babble we could expect a good/long afternoon nap. Brad and I headed to the back porch to soak in the sun we were missing while we left B to (hopefully) sleep. I'll admit - we let 30 minutes go by before we went to make sure the little guy was asleep only to find we were locked outside. All the while, I had been counting contractions on the back patio and joking with my laid back husband about how humorous it would be if labor finally began when we were now 40 minutes away and in bathing suits. Panic set in and though I was trying to act calm, my legs were shaking, my heart was racing, and for some reason the contractions seemed to come stronger. Brad starts stating the obvious....my parents are an hour away, they aren't answering their phone, our keys are in the house, all the while Brooks could be swinging from the curtains (luckily, that was our one peace of mind - that we knew he was in the crib and though he may not be happy he couldn't get anywhere!) Of course the 95 degree heat added to the (now laughable) moment. Anyway, mom finally called us back and asked if we had tried a credit card to get into the door - it's now been 45 minutes and for some reason the good ole' fashion robbery trick hadn't crossed our minds. My parents house may have a super duper alarm and seem impossible to enter to the average intruder but give Brad a credit card and we are professional burglars! In one swipe we were in the door and bolting up the stairs to see the little man talking from his crib. I have never wanted to see my baby's face so bad in my life! I am so thankful for those plastic cards that usually just get me in trouble!
Saturday night we did the unthinkable when you are 39 weeks pregnant. We were offered to go see the Braves play the Cubs with some new friends. We had been wanting a date night and we had both been hoping to see a Braves game before the baby arrived and I needed to try the spicy food trick so this allowed us to check yet three more things off our list (no wonder the baby hasn't come yet....the list never goes away!) Mom offered B to spend the night (and promised she wouldn't lock him in the house alone like we did) so we were off without the little guy and with some major adrenaline! Brad wore jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I love him to pieces so this is why I add this unnecessary detail. Who, but my fashionable husband wears their football tailgate gear to a summer Braves game? Also, he had lost his iphone earlier that day and he had the jitters all the way to downtown Atlanta. I didn't know someone could have such cell phone withdrawal but he certainly proved me wrong. Anyway, we ate tons of our favorite spicy food at Taqueria Del Sol and then headed to the Ted where we decided that we would name this boy Hank or Ted if labor should begin that night.
Of course while we were sitting in traffic to park this stubborn (yet lovable) little guy started acting up like he hadn't before. My legs began shaking and I was really loopy and unable to focus. So of course I began thinking the worst....woman delivers baby in back of new friends 4Runner on Capitol Avenue. Woman delivers baby in the parking lot at the Braves game while eating boiled peanuts and doing the tomahawk chop. But really what was worse for me because of my personality was - woman embarrasses herself in front of her new fun friends as she apparently pees in her pants on the way to the braves game (don't you think "water breaking" could easily be construed as wetting my pants?)
The power of the stork was with us once again as we made it to our prime parking spot (valet I might add) and headed into the stadium only 5 innings late. During our walk to our seat I was looking for any trusting person that I might need to grab to deliver my baby while also calculating the quickest and least embarrassing exit for when I would be waddle-running out of there in the next hour as I was the most sure I had been that things were happening in the womb.
I spent 3 innings pacing the hallway of the Diamond level, counting contractions and smiling at the passer byer's who looked at me as if i had stolen something. I tried to make as many friends as possible just in case I burst into crazy-birthing-woman mode and needed some consoling. But alas, we left the game early - wtih me still convinced that this was it.....this was the night - and we made it home with no story, no baby, and only a little embarrassment from the drama I had caused.
So yesterday, I won't lie. I was a little perturbed. In lieu of focusing on the negative, I will just skip to today and assure you that today is better. We've located Brad's beloved 2nd wife - the iphone - it slept on my parents porch over night in the rain. Awesome. I got the most sleep I've had in a week and I almost feel a little hungover from the excess Z's. Oh, and I was awakened mid slumber by the man who sleeps with me (but isn't allowed to touch me ever again) because he claims I was screaming in my sleep. Thank you, Ambien.
Can we please just get on with this little shin-dig, Mr. Stork? We both feel like so much is on hold as we all anxiously await this event. I am ready to see this little boy and love on him like he so deserves! He sure has been pushed around and sat on (literally) for 10 months now and I am sure he knows our words towards him aren't always filled with excitement and joy. I just want him to get here already so I can assure him that he is supposed to be here at this perfect time because thankfully, we know and believe God is the author of our stories.
And that is how I will conclude. God, I am so very thankful that you know this little man's birth date and that you know the exact role he will have in our family and on this earth. This has been a long road for us but I have felt You pull me to my knees in order to slowly open my fingers to Your perfect story for me. I am ashamed at my constant desire to rip the paintbrush from your hands and paint this segment of the picture but I am so grateful that You don't let me have my way. It is humbling to think that You knew exactly what You were doing 10 months ago and You knew the end result would be a more humbled, less controlling, more pliable woman with a heart that belongs to You (and a body that belongs to Northside hospital.)
Let's just say this.....we would have made a great sitcom this weekend.
Saturday we had made no plans because we all had the same premonition - that we would be lounging at Northside hospital enjoying an Einstein bagel (because we both can't wait for someone to bring us Einsteins in the morning....just like our experience with the first born. Yes, it's the little things!) Because we weren't at the hospital and we weren't having a baby we tried to act as if everything was as normal as it should have been. We finally made it to our vacation home, aka - my parents house - in Marietta, Before heading to the pool we put B down for a nap in his crib in their house. He has it better over there than he does in his own house, mind you. We shut the door and went away as usual, knowing that after 15 minutes of baby babble we could expect a good/long afternoon nap. Brad and I headed to the back porch to soak in the sun we were missing while we left B to (hopefully) sleep. I'll admit - we let 30 minutes go by before we went to make sure the little guy was asleep only to find we were locked outside. All the while, I had been counting contractions on the back patio and joking with my laid back husband about how humorous it would be if labor finally began when we were now 40 minutes away and in bathing suits. Panic set in and though I was trying to act calm, my legs were shaking, my heart was racing, and for some reason the contractions seemed to come stronger. Brad starts stating the obvious....my parents are an hour away, they aren't answering their phone, our keys are in the house, all the while Brooks could be swinging from the curtains (luckily, that was our one peace of mind - that we knew he was in the crib and though he may not be happy he couldn't get anywhere!) Of course the 95 degree heat added to the (now laughable) moment. Anyway, mom finally called us back and asked if we had tried a credit card to get into the door - it's now been 45 minutes and for some reason the good ole' fashion robbery trick hadn't crossed our minds. My parents house may have a super duper alarm and seem impossible to enter to the average intruder but give Brad a credit card and we are professional burglars! In one swipe we were in the door and bolting up the stairs to see the little man talking from his crib. I have never wanted to see my baby's face so bad in my life! I am so thankful for those plastic cards that usually just get me in trouble!
Saturday night we did the unthinkable when you are 39 weeks pregnant. We were offered to go see the Braves play the Cubs with some new friends. We had been wanting a date night and we had both been hoping to see a Braves game before the baby arrived and I needed to try the spicy food trick so this allowed us to check yet three more things off our list (no wonder the baby hasn't come yet....the list never goes away!) Mom offered B to spend the night (and promised she wouldn't lock him in the house alone like we did) so we were off without the little guy and with some major adrenaline! Brad wore jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I love him to pieces so this is why I add this unnecessary detail. Who, but my fashionable husband wears their football tailgate gear to a summer Braves game? Also, he had lost his iphone earlier that day and he had the jitters all the way to downtown Atlanta. I didn't know someone could have such cell phone withdrawal but he certainly proved me wrong. Anyway, we ate tons of our favorite spicy food at Taqueria Del Sol and then headed to the Ted where we decided that we would name this boy Hank or Ted if labor should begin that night.
Of course while we were sitting in traffic to park this stubborn (yet lovable) little guy started acting up like he hadn't before. My legs began shaking and I was really loopy and unable to focus. So of course I began thinking the worst....woman delivers baby in back of new friends 4Runner on Capitol Avenue. Woman delivers baby in the parking lot at the Braves game while eating boiled peanuts and doing the tomahawk chop. But really what was worse for me because of my personality was - woman embarrasses herself in front of her new fun friends as she apparently pees in her pants on the way to the braves game (don't you think "water breaking" could easily be construed as wetting my pants?)
The power of the stork was with us once again as we made it to our prime parking spot (valet I might add) and headed into the stadium only 5 innings late. During our walk to our seat I was looking for any trusting person that I might need to grab to deliver my baby while also calculating the quickest and least embarrassing exit for when I would be waddle-running out of there in the next hour as I was the most sure I had been that things were happening in the womb.
I spent 3 innings pacing the hallway of the Diamond level, counting contractions and smiling at the passer byer's who looked at me as if i had stolen something. I tried to make as many friends as possible just in case I burst into crazy-birthing-woman mode and needed some consoling. But alas, we left the game early - wtih me still convinced that this was it.....this was the night - and we made it home with no story, no baby, and only a little embarrassment from the drama I had caused.
So yesterday, I won't lie. I was a little perturbed. In lieu of focusing on the negative, I will just skip to today and assure you that today is better. We've located Brad's beloved 2nd wife - the iphone - it slept on my parents porch over night in the rain. Awesome. I got the most sleep I've had in a week and I almost feel a little hungover from the excess Z's. Oh, and I was awakened mid slumber by the man who sleeps with me (but isn't allowed to touch me ever again) because he claims I was screaming in my sleep. Thank you, Ambien.
Can we please just get on with this little shin-dig, Mr. Stork? We both feel like so much is on hold as we all anxiously await this event. I am ready to see this little boy and love on him like he so deserves! He sure has been pushed around and sat on (literally) for 10 months now and I am sure he knows our words towards him aren't always filled with excitement and joy. I just want him to get here already so I can assure him that he is supposed to be here at this perfect time because thankfully, we know and believe God is the author of our stories.
And that is how I will conclude. God, I am so very thankful that you know this little man's birth date and that you know the exact role he will have in our family and on this earth. This has been a long road for us but I have felt You pull me to my knees in order to slowly open my fingers to Your perfect story for me. I am ashamed at my constant desire to rip the paintbrush from your hands and paint this segment of the picture but I am so grateful that You don't let me have my way. It is humbling to think that You knew exactly what You were doing 10 months ago and You knew the end result would be a more humbled, less controlling, more pliable woman with a heart that belongs to You (and a body that belongs to Northside hospital.)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A list
This may be my most favorite list I have ever created - tied closely with my running list of things I want in case anyone ever wants to know what I want....... selfless, huh?
I salivated for an hour this morning as I walked around the neighborhood by myself dreaming up this most perfect list. Allow me to indulge myself for a few short minutes without any guilt because none of these items benefit anyone but me.
THINGS I WILL DO WHEN I AM NOT PREGNANT:
1) Toss the newborn to husband as I cross the threshold of our house and jump right on our soft bed ON MY STOMACH!
2) Wear my beloved tall shoes again everyday - everywhere! I haven't given them up because of comfort and my lack of balance but rather because I can't get around my stomach to strap them on.
3) Become an alcoholic.
4) I'm kidding about the above but for someone who doesn't normally drink I sure do crave the burn of a beer or margarita whenever I am carrying another human under my shirt.
5) Finish a work out.
6) Buy short shorts to wear even though summer time is almost over (and assuming the cellulite on the back of my legs has disappeared)
7) Slow dance with my husband. Slow dancing just isn't slow dancing when you are two feet away from your sweetie.
8) Train to run a half marathon or some other physical challenge that allows me to achieve some goals along the way.
9) THROW AWAY THE TUMS!
10) Take pictures of myself again
11) Sleep alone. I think this may be the only solution to my pregnancy ailment that I seem to come down with every year.
12) Just to reiterate......I will stay away from the older boy in my house! I will try my hardest not to even smell the clean smell on his neck in the morning that I so love because even that closeness would probably get me pregnant.
13) I won't ask for back rubs.
14) I WILL eat sushi the day after birth, a turkey sandwich the next day, a bowl of feta cheese for dinner that night (all followed by a beer) and to top it off - I'll enjoy a double shot espresso each morning from Starbucks. And I won't feel any guilt (because it's not like I've necessarily cut these things out during pregnancy....I just feel bad about my destruction the rest of the day and the guilt isn't worth the indulgence) Oh, I can't wait!
15) I will sleep like a baby. I know many of you are wanting to correct me on this one. Go ahead......but this pregnancy has proved to me that I am not good at being pregnant and sleeping. I would much rather 2-3 hard hours of intermittent sleep for 8-12 weeks than no sleep at all!
16) I will sing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" with Brooks and actually do the motions successfully.
17) I WILL PLAN A GIRLS TRIP AWAY WITH NO BABIES. We will giggle, drink wine, dance if we want to, sleep late, eat yummy food, lounge in our pajamas, watch movies, and talk about celebrities and shoes. I am so excited to feel like a girl again and not just a breeder.
18) I will go on date nights with my husband (though not get too close) at a later hour than 5pm knowing that I may not actually be tired at 7:30pm.
19) I'll actually be able to do the downward dog in pilates.
20) I WILL WATCH MY THREE BOYS AND ENJOY THE BEAUTIFUL STORY THE LORD HAS WRITTEN FOR ME AND ENJOY THE PRECIOUS MOMENTS THAT HE HAS GIVEN TO US.....all without burping, itching, crying, eating tums, running to the bathroom, and waddling from place to place.
Soon enough, my friends.....soon enough!
I salivated for an hour this morning as I walked around the neighborhood by myself dreaming up this most perfect list. Allow me to indulge myself for a few short minutes without any guilt because none of these items benefit anyone but me.
THINGS I WILL DO WHEN I AM NOT PREGNANT:
1) Toss the newborn to husband as I cross the threshold of our house and jump right on our soft bed ON MY STOMACH!
2) Wear my beloved tall shoes again everyday - everywhere! I haven't given them up because of comfort and my lack of balance but rather because I can't get around my stomach to strap them on.
3) Become an alcoholic.
4) I'm kidding about the above but for someone who doesn't normally drink I sure do crave the burn of a beer or margarita whenever I am carrying another human under my shirt.
5) Finish a work out.
6) Buy short shorts to wear even though summer time is almost over (and assuming the cellulite on the back of my legs has disappeared)
7) Slow dance with my husband. Slow dancing just isn't slow dancing when you are two feet away from your sweetie.
8) Train to run a half marathon or some other physical challenge that allows me to achieve some goals along the way.
9) THROW AWAY THE TUMS!
10) Take pictures of myself again
11) Sleep alone. I think this may be the only solution to my pregnancy ailment that I seem to come down with every year.
12) Just to reiterate......I will stay away from the older boy in my house! I will try my hardest not to even smell the clean smell on his neck in the morning that I so love because even that closeness would probably get me pregnant.
13) I won't ask for back rubs.
14) I WILL eat sushi the day after birth, a turkey sandwich the next day, a bowl of feta cheese for dinner that night (all followed by a beer) and to top it off - I'll enjoy a double shot espresso each morning from Starbucks. And I won't feel any guilt (because it's not like I've necessarily cut these things out during pregnancy....I just feel bad about my destruction the rest of the day and the guilt isn't worth the indulgence) Oh, I can't wait!
15) I will sleep like a baby. I know many of you are wanting to correct me on this one. Go ahead......but this pregnancy has proved to me that I am not good at being pregnant and sleeping. I would much rather 2-3 hard hours of intermittent sleep for 8-12 weeks than no sleep at all!
16) I will sing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" with Brooks and actually do the motions successfully.
17) I WILL PLAN A GIRLS TRIP AWAY WITH NO BABIES. We will giggle, drink wine, dance if we want to, sleep late, eat yummy food, lounge in our pajamas, watch movies, and talk about celebrities and shoes. I am so excited to feel like a girl again and not just a breeder.
18) I will go on date nights with my husband (though not get too close) at a later hour than 5pm knowing that I may not actually be tired at 7:30pm.
19) I'll actually be able to do the downward dog in pilates.
20) I WILL WATCH MY THREE BOYS AND ENJOY THE BEAUTIFUL STORY THE LORD HAS WRITTEN FOR ME AND ENJOY THE PRECIOUS MOMENTS THAT HE HAS GIVEN TO US.....all without burping, itching, crying, eating tums, running to the bathroom, and waddling from place to place.
Soon enough, my friends.....soon enough!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
And, I quote....
Gosh, I like having babies. It's so relaxing. I am sitting here in a recliner watching my baby on a monitor and I'm not at work. This is great. Let's do this. I am ready to have a baby.
-The husband while at the doctor this morning for what would end up being a very delightful "date" only to find out the baby is comfortable for a little while longer - despite the worst pains I've ever known
And a bit earlier...
I should be like a professional husband to pregnant women. {I then give a funny look from across the table where the baby was being monitored} I mean, not because I am good or anything {he looks at me to refute this statement} but because I can read that monitor well. Look, here comes a small contraction.
I love that I married a funny guy. There's nothing like shaking the monitor off my belly laughing at his cute confidence this morning on our surprise trip to the doctor!
-The husband while at the doctor this morning for what would end up being a very delightful "date" only to find out the baby is comfortable for a little while longer - despite the worst pains I've ever known
And a bit earlier...
I should be like a professional husband to pregnant women. {I then give a funny look from across the table where the baby was being monitored} I mean, not because I am good or anything {he looks at me to refute this statement} but because I can read that monitor well. Look, here comes a small contraction.
I love that I married a funny guy. There's nothing like shaking the monitor off my belly laughing at his cute confidence this morning on our surprise trip to the doctor!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tick-tock, tick-tock
Every aspect of our days these days seems to revolve around the progression of the clock. I seriously abhor living under this self-induced pressure.
This weekend I enjoyed a total of 3 hours of sleep in 3 days. The clock seemed to follow me through out the night reminding me of the sleep I was foregoing in lieu of.....well, nothing! And more so, reminding me of the few hours left until the B-man would be wanting to play. Eventually Sunday night I turned my phone off and covered the clocks with tape and I did get a few more hours of sleep that night! (Praise the laundry! Yes, I said laundry.....last night I texted a friend and told her to wait in the "laundry's timing"....aka - the Lord's.) Really, were there no clock to remind me of what I should have been doing I probably could have enjoyed a book or a bath (for the 4th time) or a warm glass of milk as so many people including my doctor suggested but, unfortunately, when the clock says 3:37am for the 3rd night in a row and my little brain still hadn't shut down - there was nothing on this planet that I would have enjoyed - not even my favorite meal of crab cakes on a remote island with someone massaging my back and singing me Norah Jones. Nothing.
This all started when the doctor started the baby clock last week. Before Wednesday I was not ready for a baby and I had no reason to believe the baby was ready for me. I went to the doctor as I mentioned in a previous post feeling like a rockstar - with no worry in the world. I would have been fine not knowing (or not having the confirmation because I can't deny a baby is about to come out) that my body was getting ready for a baby sooner than I had thought. The doctor said all the signs were there and he would predict sooner than later. I still have two weeks to go but ever since that horrific doctors appointment the whole world seems to be antsy for this baby to come out or so it seems. I know everyone doesn't revolve around this baby's schedule but I promise, everyone close to us is watching the clock, too. My mom is nesting as if she is about to go into labor. Her house has been cleaned 3 times in a week I think and no one lives there to mess it up! Brooks has started putting away his toys for some weird reason and I don't think it's because he is that sweet or smart. He must know he is about to have to share for the rest of his life in our house and he is being overly protective with his things. Amos cleans the floor hourly for us whether or not there is a crumb on the ground and he doesn't want to move off his couch for anything - that could be the heat but I too, think he overheard the news of last Wednesday and is ready to "do this" as Brad says.
Admittedly, he didn't say he thought the baby would come the next day -he just didn't think I'd make my due date but nonetheless, everyone has been scurrying. You would have thought I was possessed the way I was straightening and disinfecting this past Saturday. Brad eventually took B and said he'd back later with no destination in sight...he just knew I'd start picking at him and cleaning behind his ears if he didn't make the exit. I finally gave up on having everything clean and ready and after one good night of sleep last night I have sort of forgotten about the baby's birthday - I know he'll come when he is ready and I know it will be the perfect time. In the mean time, I have enjoyed taking B on our last few dates together where it is just us....and I think he has enjoyed it, too. He has been treated to some fancy (non cereal bar (the usual)) lunches. Thanks, dad, for your hard work so B and I can enjoy some fancy lunches together. It's worth it....I promise!
And then there's the B-man and his non-clock. He doesn't care about the time in the least. Yesterday I finally shut my eyes and actually fell asleep for maybe 3 minutes in the afternoon when he decided it was time to play with mom. Oh little buddy, don't you know your mom is soooooooo tired? I love our dates together these days more than anything but I do need a little R&R after 5 hours of straight play. And again today after tricking me into thinking he was ready for one long nap after a lunch play date with his best buds - John Quincy and Whit - he sang his fight song from his crib (which, if you recall sounds like the fog horn in the background of the world cup) for nearly 40 minutes before I conceded and waived the white flag. I promise he is the best indicator of labor because he knows things are about to change and before that change happens he wants his face time with mom and dad! The funny thing is that if I ask him if he is ready for a nap he walks to the stairs, goes to his room, turns on his sound machine and stares at me like I am the slow poke waddling up the stairs with a basketball in my dress. Then I put him down and he talks from his bed as if he is telling me that it is not really time for a nap because - as he has assured me - he has no concept of time and would rather me not have him revolving around a clock. Atleast he is good entertainment.......
So, we are waiting. It's August 3rd and ideally I would love an even numbered birthday. Not because there are even numbers anywhere in my life....my birth date, address, and phone number are all quite the opposite BUT for some reason it is in my head that this baby will start his life with a pretty number - like 8/6/10. How soothing? Or 8/8/10? How memorable. Now, 8/9/10 could be cool but I would bet the hospital would be full of crazies that day who have happened to "schedule" their induction or have pushed themselves to the hospital begging for a cool birthday for their beloved child. I'd rather stay away from the hospital on a day like that.
And thankfully, I truly am at rest today. After what i would classify as the three loneliest, worst nights of my life - I have found a calm that I haven't felt in awhile. My heart is at ease knowing that my moments with Brooks only are dwindling and that soon everything will change -for the better of course. Now, if everyone else around me could just settle down a little bit and stop asking me to have the baby around their schedule than I might really settle down and that is just when I'm sure something will happen.
*****
P.S. - Who is this Braxton Hick man anyway? He sure does drag this game out an for unnecessary amount of time.
*****
While the clock is ticking here is how we've been passing the time....
Watching dad as he drives away in the morning and then looking out the window all day for him to come home.
Eating Yoforia yogurt and mochi every-single-night.(Go ahead, think to yourself - man, she is about to deliver twins! I've been told that many times lately. Nothing I can do about the balloon body shape at this point but soak it up!
Rotting our teeth all in the name of some quiet (lack of the fog horn sound) in the car.
This weekend I enjoyed a total of 3 hours of sleep in 3 days. The clock seemed to follow me through out the night reminding me of the sleep I was foregoing in lieu of.....well, nothing! And more so, reminding me of the few hours left until the B-man would be wanting to play. Eventually Sunday night I turned my phone off and covered the clocks with tape and I did get a few more hours of sleep that night! (Praise the laundry! Yes, I said laundry.....last night I texted a friend and told her to wait in the "laundry's timing"....aka - the Lord's.) Really, were there no clock to remind me of what I should have been doing I probably could have enjoyed a book or a bath (for the 4th time) or a warm glass of milk as so many people including my doctor suggested but, unfortunately, when the clock says 3:37am for the 3rd night in a row and my little brain still hadn't shut down - there was nothing on this planet that I would have enjoyed - not even my favorite meal of crab cakes on a remote island with someone massaging my back and singing me Norah Jones. Nothing.
This all started when the doctor started the baby clock last week. Before Wednesday I was not ready for a baby and I had no reason to believe the baby was ready for me. I went to the doctor as I mentioned in a previous post feeling like a rockstar - with no worry in the world. I would have been fine not knowing (or not having the confirmation because I can't deny a baby is about to come out) that my body was getting ready for a baby sooner than I had thought. The doctor said all the signs were there and he would predict sooner than later. I still have two weeks to go but ever since that horrific doctors appointment the whole world seems to be antsy for this baby to come out or so it seems. I know everyone doesn't revolve around this baby's schedule but I promise, everyone close to us is watching the clock, too. My mom is nesting as if she is about to go into labor. Her house has been cleaned 3 times in a week I think and no one lives there to mess it up! Brooks has started putting away his toys for some weird reason and I don't think it's because he is that sweet or smart. He must know he is about to have to share for the rest of his life in our house and he is being overly protective with his things. Amos cleans the floor hourly for us whether or not there is a crumb on the ground and he doesn't want to move off his couch for anything - that could be the heat but I too, think he overheard the news of last Wednesday and is ready to "do this" as Brad says.
Admittedly, he didn't say he thought the baby would come the next day -he just didn't think I'd make my due date but nonetheless, everyone has been scurrying. You would have thought I was possessed the way I was straightening and disinfecting this past Saturday. Brad eventually took B and said he'd back later with no destination in sight...he just knew I'd start picking at him and cleaning behind his ears if he didn't make the exit. I finally gave up on having everything clean and ready and after one good night of sleep last night I have sort of forgotten about the baby's birthday - I know he'll come when he is ready and I know it will be the perfect time. In the mean time, I have enjoyed taking B on our last few dates together where it is just us....and I think he has enjoyed it, too. He has been treated to some fancy (non cereal bar (the usual)) lunches. Thanks, dad, for your hard work so B and I can enjoy some fancy lunches together. It's worth it....I promise!
And then there's the B-man and his non-clock. He doesn't care about the time in the least. Yesterday I finally shut my eyes and actually fell asleep for maybe 3 minutes in the afternoon when he decided it was time to play with mom. Oh little buddy, don't you know your mom is soooooooo tired? I love our dates together these days more than anything but I do need a little R&R after 5 hours of straight play. And again today after tricking me into thinking he was ready for one long nap after a lunch play date with his best buds - John Quincy and Whit - he sang his fight song from his crib (which, if you recall sounds like the fog horn in the background of the world cup) for nearly 40 minutes before I conceded and waived the white flag. I promise he is the best indicator of labor because he knows things are about to change and before that change happens he wants his face time with mom and dad! The funny thing is that if I ask him if he is ready for a nap he walks to the stairs, goes to his room, turns on his sound machine and stares at me like I am the slow poke waddling up the stairs with a basketball in my dress. Then I put him down and he talks from his bed as if he is telling me that it is not really time for a nap because - as he has assured me - he has no concept of time and would rather me not have him revolving around a clock. Atleast he is good entertainment.......
So, we are waiting. It's August 3rd and ideally I would love an even numbered birthday. Not because there are even numbers anywhere in my life....my birth date, address, and phone number are all quite the opposite BUT for some reason it is in my head that this baby will start his life with a pretty number - like 8/6/10. How soothing? Or 8/8/10? How memorable. Now, 8/9/10 could be cool but I would bet the hospital would be full of crazies that day who have happened to "schedule" their induction or have pushed themselves to the hospital begging for a cool birthday for their beloved child. I'd rather stay away from the hospital on a day like that.
And thankfully, I truly am at rest today. After what i would classify as the three loneliest, worst nights of my life - I have found a calm that I haven't felt in awhile. My heart is at ease knowing that my moments with Brooks only are dwindling and that soon everything will change -for the better of course. Now, if everyone else around me could just settle down a little bit and stop asking me to have the baby around their schedule than I might really settle down and that is just when I'm sure something will happen.
*****
P.S. - Who is this Braxton Hick man anyway? He sure does drag this game out an for unnecessary amount of time.
*****
While the clock is ticking here is how we've been passing the time....
Watching dad as he drives away in the morning and then looking out the window all day for him to come home.
Eating Yoforia yogurt and mochi every-single-night.(Go ahead, think to yourself - man, she is about to deliver twins! I've been told that many times lately. Nothing I can do about the balloon body shape at this point but soak it up!
Rotting our teeth all in the name of some quiet (lack of the fog horn sound) in the car.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
