Tick-tock, tick-tock

Every aspect of our days these days seems to revolve around the progression of the clock. I seriously abhor living under this self-induced pressure.
This weekend I enjoyed a total of 3 hours of sleep in 3 days. The clock seemed to follow me through out the night reminding me of the sleep I was foregoing in lieu of.....well, nothing! And more so, reminding me of the few hours left until the B-man would be wanting to play. Eventually Sunday night I turned my phone off and covered the clocks with tape and I did get a few more hours of sleep that night! (Praise the laundry! Yes, I said laundry.....last night I texted a friend and told her to wait in the "laundry's timing"....aka - the Lord's.) Really, were there no clock to remind me of what I should have been doing I probably could have enjoyed a book or a bath (for the 4th time) or a warm glass of milk as so many people including my doctor suggested but, unfortunately, when the clock says 3:37am for the 3rd night in a row and my little brain still hadn't shut down - there was nothing on this planet that I would have enjoyed - not even my favorite meal of crab cakes on a remote island with someone massaging my back and singing me Norah Jones. Nothing.

This all started when the doctor started the baby clock last week. Before Wednesday I was not ready for a baby and I had no reason to believe the baby was ready for me. I went to the doctor as I mentioned in a previous post feeling like a rockstar - with no worry in the world. I would have been fine not knowing (or not having the confirmation because I can't deny a baby is about to come out) that my body was getting ready for a baby sooner than I had thought. The doctor said all the signs were there and he would predict sooner than later. I still have two weeks to go but ever since that horrific doctors appointment the whole world seems to be antsy for this baby to come out or so it seems. I know everyone doesn't revolve around this baby's schedule but I promise, everyone close to us is watching the clock, too. My mom is nesting as if she is about to go into labor. Her house has been cleaned 3 times in a week I think and no one lives there to mess it up! Brooks has started putting away his toys for some weird reason and I don't think it's because he is that sweet or smart. He must know he is about to have to share for the rest of his life in our house and he is being overly protective with his things. Amos cleans the floor hourly for us whether or not there is a crumb on the ground and he doesn't want to move off his couch for anything - that could be the heat but I too, think he overheard the news of last Wednesday and is ready to "do this" as Brad says.

Admittedly, he didn't say he thought the baby would come the next day -he just didn't think I'd make my due date but nonetheless, everyone has been scurrying. You would have thought I was possessed the way I was straightening and disinfecting this past Saturday. Brad eventually took B and said he'd back later with no destination in sight...he just knew I'd start picking at him and cleaning behind his ears if he didn't make the exit. I finally gave up on having everything clean and ready and after one good night of sleep last night I have sort of forgotten about the baby's birthday - I know he'll come when he is ready and I know it will be the perfect time. In the mean time, I have enjoyed taking B on our last few dates together where it is just us....and I think he has enjoyed it, too. He has been treated to some fancy (non cereal bar (the usual)) lunches. Thanks, dad, for your hard work so B and I can enjoy some fancy lunches together. It's worth it....I promise!

And then there's the B-man and his non-clock. He doesn't care about the time in the least. Yesterday I finally shut my eyes and actually fell asleep for maybe 3 minutes in the afternoon when he decided it was time to play with mom. Oh little buddy, don't you know your mom is soooooooo tired? I love our dates together these days more than anything but I do need a little R&R after 5 hours of straight play. And again today after tricking me into thinking he was ready for one long nap after a lunch play date with his best buds - John Quincy and Whit - he sang his fight song from his crib (which, if you recall sounds like the fog horn in the background of the world cup) for nearly 40 minutes before I conceded and waived the white flag. I promise he is the best indicator of labor because he knows things are about to change and before that change happens he wants his face time with mom and dad! The funny thing is that if I ask him if he is ready for a nap he walks to the stairs, goes to his room, turns on his sound machine and stares at me like I am the slow poke waddling up the stairs with a basketball in my dress. Then I put him down and he talks from his bed as if he is telling me that it is not really time for a nap because - as he has assured me - he has no concept of time and would rather me not have him revolving around a clock. Atleast he is good entertainment.......

So, we are waiting. It's August 3rd and ideally I would love an even numbered birthday. Not because there are even numbers anywhere in my life....my birth date, address, and phone number are all quite the opposite BUT for some reason it is in my head that this baby will start his life with a pretty number - like 8/6/10. How soothing? Or 8/8/10? How memorable. Now, 8/9/10 could be cool but I would bet the hospital would be full of crazies that day who have happened to "schedule" their induction or have pushed themselves to the hospital begging for a cool birthday for their beloved child. I'd rather stay away from the hospital on a day like that.

And thankfully, I truly am at rest today. After what i would classify as the three loneliest, worst nights of my life - I have found a calm that I haven't felt in awhile. My heart is at ease knowing that my moments with Brooks only are dwindling and that soon everything will change -for the better of course. Now, if everyone else around me could just settle down a little bit and stop asking me to have the baby around their schedule than I might really settle down and that is just when I'm sure something will happen.
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P.S. - Who is this Braxton Hick man anyway? He sure does drag this game out an for unnecessary amount of time.
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While the clock is ticking here is how we've been passing the time....
Watching dad as he drives away in the morning and then looking out the window all day for him to come home.
Eating Yoforia yogurt and mochi every-single-night.(Go ahead, think to yourself - man, she is about to deliver twins! I've been told that many times lately. Nothing I can do about the balloon body shape at this point but soak it up!
Rotting our teeth all in the name of some quiet (lack of the fog horn sound) in the car.