The gratitude project

Embarassingly, I started a book over six months ago and I even urged you, dear reader, here, to read the book, too. I even gave the book as a gift to half a dozen people and I subscribe to the blog everyday and read it...occasionally. But here I'm about to admit one of my many short comings to you and hopefully you'll feel just a little better about yourself and maybe give yourself some grace should you have the same little flaw.

I don't finish projects. My husband just reread that sentence as his eyes got bigger and his jaw dropped I am sure. Yes, honey, it's in writing. I am a great initiator and I love to get all the supplies I need for something and then lay them on the dining room table....for months. I even love to make people dinners when they have a baby or are going through a tough time and then they sit in my freezer because they never got delivered. Just like how I buy books off Amazon and I sometimes even expedite the shipping and then after a few chapters I add them to my stack of to-be-completed books and projects.

Well, last fall in my bible study for moms many women I admire spoke about how transformational this book was for them who, like me, can often get stuck in the rut of being a mother. So immediatly I ordered two copies, read several chapters, raved about what I was reading and then sort of forgot about the book and with that, forgot, really, about what the book had even taught me in my few days of digesting every thought I could about this whole "gift" idea. In the book, the author stumbled upon a way to really feel grateful after spending so many of her adult years sort of luke warm or neutral. I've never liked feeling neutral. I think a life lived vibrantly is the best gift we can give others and the best medicine for ourselves. Of course, we all go through those seasons where our day to day life is so black and white and there isn't even a way to imagine a splash of color. I've been there many times and I was there for nearly 18 months before this pregnancy snapped me back to "me."

Just like me, Ann, the writer, began to despise her lack of gratitude for things big and small in her life so she started writing down every single thing that she was grateful for throughout her day. Her book is difficult to read because she has a stream of conscious type of style so I have to read a paragraph multiple times but when I do I find myself smelling the things she smells and seeing the things she sees on her farm property. The heart of this book...the challenge to notice and then take note with a pen (or keyboard) of my blessings - truly has been the biggest gift given to me yet. I mean it. And sometime between changing a diaper, laying awake at night alone during one of my many nights of insomnia and now peacefully nursing a newborn baby it all hit me... the weight and privilege of living gratefully and I am so glad it did....and when it did.

It's all about gratitude. Like, really deep rooted, sincere gratitude felt throughout the day and at specific moments over specific things. What Ann realized is that if she wrote down the things that she appreciates as she appreciates them then she is better able to literally feel and express gratitude. It all sounds so simple and obvious but I think it is the rarest secret that so few people really have unlocked. I am not there but I have a taste of it and I want more.

Thank you to a friend and her recent quest to write down her "gifts" I started leaving myself voice memos on my iphone for things throughout the day that made my heart warm up a little - even on the worst of days. This has opened up a whole new world for me and yall.....it is sooo sooo addictive. I don't know where my thankful heart had vacationed to these past few years? You would think among 3 births and a new home that my cornucopia would be overflowing but as life often goes - the more blessings equals more responsibility that often feels more like burdens than gifts. Atleast that is what our society would have you feel. So without further adieu....the start to this renewed way of living in a society that I think has forgotten how to be thankful:
1)the realization that my heart was missing the biggest gift yet - gratitude
2)my iphone to record and write my "gifts' no matter where I am....{ahem} the bathroom?
3)the hour in the day when there really are three other sleeping humans in our home. If you'd told me that would ever happened before I had kids I would never have believed you!
4)the weeks post-baby where you just have to give yourself a little grace about everything
5)His mercies that truly are new every single morning
6)the purple flowers on the trees in my back yard
7)the mama bird out my window whose babies hatched the weekend we had our baby
8)watching how patiently and dependently the baby birds wait for their mama to fly back with food
9)the bay window in our living room
10)visitors
11)visitors baring the food for my babies since this mama isn't out cooking up dinner yet!
12)the new energy I feel each day as I get farther and farther away from Bradford's birthday
13)the crazy idea to get out of the house this morning
14)living near the Chattahoochee River
15)public parks and libraries....a mother's love!
16)the double-bob stroller
17)a flat walk by the river


18)talking to the boys about what they see outside
19)forgetting my iphone at home
20)positive words from strangers
21)a sense of pride from just getting out the door
22)getting to stay home with the boys everyday
23)watching ducks bob for fish
24)having two little boys to ask me questions while we stroll the path
25)running into friends who help out when your hands are tied with three little people needing something at the same time
26)picking up lunch
27)my husbands ring on my phone that is unique to him
28)my husbands ring on my phone mid-morning when he is calling just to check on us
29)half sweetened ice tea
30)with a lemon
31)lactic acid in my legs
32)1:45pm everyday
33)and getting the mail
34)Pierre, the mail man, and sometimes the only adult conversation until B gets home
35)sleeping babies
36)newborn noises
37)newborn smells
38)newborn feet
39)the crazy thought while holding a newborn that maybe one day I'll want another newborn
40)DVR
41)the feeling of actually finishing something I started (my walk today)
42)racing the boys to the top of the stairs
43)watching the lil man copy the big boy as he points to the ducks and the squirrels
44)Thursday
45)how far God has brought me/us with my insomnia
46)getting enough sleep to feel pretty good throughout the day
47)medicine that actually works (when there was a time that nothing helped me sleep)
48)dancing a few steps while cleaning the kitchen
49)a clean kitchen
50)the fresh smell of lemon and pinesol in the clean kitchen
51)noticing the height of the shasta daisies in the front yard

52)watermelon drool
53)catching the sparkle from the diamond in my ring and remembering the day I said yes
54)rocking the 22 month old as we sing Jesus loves me before a nap
55)Jesus loving me
56)feeling loved
57)really feeling grateful


To be continued. . . . . {Try it for yourself. It may not change you but I promise it won't hurt.}