Pass the carrots please!

He's a whopping carrot this week and everything in me knows it! I have felt his stem up in my side and the end of the carrot in my legs (not truly but almost). For some reason this was the week he decided he should start dancin and I don't think he'll stop til the fat lady goes to the hospital - or sings.

Read on if you care to: (These emails just amaze me if you can't tell)
Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like he's practicing martial arts as his initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to his activity as you get to know him better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now.

Yesterday three and half generations of women in my family headed out to discover Atlanta's best in baby products. Holy Beep Beep Beep is what I can say. Holy smoke that is.....if I ever thought registering for a wedding was overwhelming I didn't know there were 7 kinds of bottles and 14 kinds of pacifiers and now everything comes customizable and organic! Just the stroller inquiry alone was an hour conversation and we needed a food break in the middle just to take it all in. It's not like your mama's stroller anymore. It's more like buying your baby a car. Does he want a leather handle bar? Would he sleep better in a velvet or cotton seat cushion? Do you think he'll get too tired of a green stroller? And what about the wheels? 10 inch or 12 inch? And you may want to look at the design of the wheel if you want his hot rod stroller to be the coolest thing in the park! Here is what I learned: I don't care. But I hear that I will so because of that I think Brad and I decided over our date last night to go with the (drum roll).....Teutonia. The Teutonia t-200 to be exact with an undetermined color. I think green - universal - pleasing - and not blue. Brad says red! He's always thinking football! For you mama's that know the process that goes into this we are deciding between the Bugaboo Frog....I just love anything named a Frog or a Bob or a Bee - how cute - and then there is this stroller....the German engineered, city sleek stroller. Opinions welcome.

So that was enough of a decision and as I said it wasn't even made until the real jury decided lastnight...that being Brad. I sat in bed last night on the eve of the scariest birthday I will have and long past my bedtime hour with my eyes wide open just running stroller names and bedding brands and crib options through my head. What if the kiddie-poo doesn't like my choices? Ideally, I'd think I would want to get things that I can potentially use again in case our family of 2.5 grows to 4 or 5 as I had always wished as a little girl. Let's talk about that for one sentence. I don't know anymore. Pregnancy has been harder on me than I ever thought. Maybe it is the timing but ultimately it is God's timing and I believe that - thorouglly. Maybe - ouccch....this is it - the loss of CONTROL. I had to write that in caps so it hurt. My body isn't my own right now and even my thoughts and my emotions don't seem to be mine and soon enough my time will no longer be mine either. Though that sounds really selfish - it is the truth and I think if many women were honest they would agree. But - I am so happy for this surrendering of my control. I know God is working in me to expand my heart to love another man (ha! A little one of course) and He is breaking down many of my fears of not being in control of anything from my own body shape to the type of work I can do to when I can sleep and when I can't. God, my prayer this whole time has been that You would be glorified through this pregnancy. I've asked You to humble me (and that He has....has anyone ever worked retail after having a career in corporate America?? HUMBLING.) More so, I have prayed that God bring me closer to Him, to Brad, and to my family through this change in our lives. This change certainly calls for vulnerability in my relationships and maybe that is what makes me squirm most. But I know that God sees my squirming as a good and necessary thing.

So, on the actual 28th celebration of my birth I will try to surrender my control and just let God. My mama always told me to "let go and let God." It may not be the most profound of phrases but it sure is soothing right now. If only I could "let go and let God pick out bedding and car seats" I'd really be able to relax on this birthday! Off to treat myself to a Starbucks and enjoy the day!