The Braves, the weather, hamburgers, looking ahead....

Admittedly, I do get a little too excited about "events." I love to plan things, get people together, and entertain. I hate the day after though. I always have the post- party blues. So maybe this is why there is still no baby. This has certainly been the longest thing I have ever waited for and anticipated. Granted, Brad and I say we didn't really "acknowledge" this pregnancy until March - we've still known what was going on for nearly 10 months now ad secretly been dreaming of the day of our little guy's arrival. Brad reminded me yesterday that we have now been pregnant and married just as long as we were married and "free." And even though you can't fully plan for birth and the lifestyle that will come with having a child - you still anticipate it and wonder constantly about the miracle growing and the changes awaiting. These last few months we have spent countless hours reading and washing and organizing and moving and contemplating names and painting and rearranging and shopping and soaking up our sweet little time together. So I am thinking the baby and the stork have gotten together in the midst of our planning and decided that they didn't want me to have the "post-party" blues so they are just going to wait a little while longer.

Fine. Stay in there. Cook and turn. Give me some more heartburn and wedge your little head just far enough down to where I waddle like a duck around town but don't come out. It is Memorial Day weekend. My sister is graduating. I am supposed to be in a wedding this weekend. And I love Memorial Day weekend!!! I love hamburgers and a cold Corona. I am wishing now that I had planned a cookout for the Holiday weekend or maybe found some tickets to go see the Bravos play because planning for "Baby" on the calendar just didn't work. It makes me smile to even write that because I should have guessed that God would be teaching me a lesson this week. This is the ultimate way to teach me a little bit about control isn't it? Tell me I'm pregnant and then have me not accept this news until the baby is nearly grown.....have me not show for nearly 6 months just to reiterate my seeming sense of control and then just as things seem they would culminate - BAM - slow down the clock and have me wait hour by hour for a week for something I have no control over. Do I sound like I am going a little bit crazy? All the while have me cancel any plans to keep me busy this weekend just in case this baby does debut. This truly is the ultimate lesson.

So, how bout them Braves? Let's talk anything but about the plans of the baby. I love going downtown for a baseball game. I love to arrive late and then stay after to watch the fireworks. I always enjoy the conversation that comes about inning 4 as the stars come out above the Ted and the air gets a little cooler from a usually hot May day. I know you wouldn't believe it but this season Brad and I have thought nothing of the Braves until today. I am now going to focus on my home team for the weekend and not focus on this alien that keeps contorting my stomach. Oh, and can you believe this weather? Memorial Day weekend is supposed to be hot hot hot without a cloud in the sky.......the best for burger cooking in a back yard. I love a perfectly cooked hamburger with all the toppings. Mama and Dad used to take the 4 kids to Fuddruckers quite often and though in my young age I had a "beef" with beef I still loved to go and dress my chicken burger with all the pickles and tomatoes and sauces a growing girl could want. I learned last week that the reason Fuddruckers was so popular with the parents on a Monday night is because of the "KIDS EAT FREE" sign posted in the window. Smart. I have began to take note of these signs. Whether my chicken burger was paid for or not I loved this treat and to this day I love to dress my now burger just the way I like it! So who needs a cookout in the rain? Let's make a plan. There is no baby going on his 40th week of growth in my belly anyway so plenty of room for a hamburger or two. Soon I will have this weekend all planned up and have no need for a baby to come and entertain me for the weekend. (I'm really not getting antsy.)

But if I force myself to look at this little scenario in a different light then I am truly humbled. This week I have been massaged, treated to lunch, shopped, exercised, celebrated with my husband....I have had time to thoroughly clean and read and write and relax. I've visited with many friends and if I am really honest - I have enjoyed the quiet. I have enjoyed the lack of schedule and I feel so lucky to get to enjoy a few weeks of a growing belly without the pressure to be at work somewhere. My husband is amazing! He may think it but he never makes me feel guilty for my lack of earning potential right now. He never even questions where my cute new shoes came from or my painted toes. He just knows, I think, that the end is near for this chapter in our new lives and a new one is very near. And he probably knows better than I do that I am one to have to ease in to "change" so he is letting me do just that by means of a massage and a nice lunch and a pair of shoes (or 2!) Soon there will not be this much quiet in our little condo. Soon there will not be an afternoon without a responsibility or another mouth to tend to. Soon everything will be different so as hard as this is I will think about hamburgers and a pool somewhere and the Braves and not focus on the "change" ripening in my belly. (If I say that and write it then it is true right? WRONG.....I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANTSY!!!!!!!! COME ON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)