Thoughts on motherhood - the early years

I've written this post in my head four times today and each time it was diifferent all depending on the amount of food on the floor at that time. The 3rd blog in my head came immediatly after I had a "screamout" as a dear friend just called it over the phone. You know....when you join the high pitched octaves roaring through the house and then you apologize for the rest of the night for acting like the very two year old you were "nerved" with? Please tell me you know. I can say I've only done this twice {yet} so please don't think anything too negative about me. The good news is it really does help you to feel a little better in those 10 seconds when everything stops except my own (dulled down) whine. Luckily, the three of us (because the big boy is at the Braves game) ended the night on high notes and full tummys. Who doesn't use ice cream as bribery and a source of forgiveness after dissappointing behavior in front of your kids?

Anyway, the gist of the blog went like this.....My life right now is slightly lonely. I fear saying that because I have a few very dear friends - like sister type friends - that could probably argue their loneliness isn't even comparable as they wait for Mr. Right to snatch them up but it is true.... It's just a differnt type of lonely that I've ever known. Brad always reminds me that I have on average 2-3 instances a day that I am surrounded by other moms with little kids but as I experienced today as two of my favorite friends came over to "catch up" and play......there is no real conversation when there are 6 people under 3 feet tall roaming around and certainly little time to feel known.

Trust me, I'm not whining - but making note of the state of the house right now. As a mom of young ones you spend 95% of the day talking but not necessarily being heard. Unfortunately when my husband finally gets home I am so done with talking that I'd rather sit in silence and give my mouth a break. Now, I know so many of yall read these little weekly anecdotes and updates on this blog and I know most of yall never comment and I'm okay with that - but today I might need a little "AMEN!" Yes, the daily life of a stay at home mom is entertaining and I do not think there is a more touching thing in the world than listening to your 2 year old tell you "where Jesus lives" or watching a blue eyed 1 year old heart throb smile at you as you walk in to get him from a nap. But that doesn't mean that this lifestyle is all loliipops and bubbles. This. Is. Hard. Stuff.

But I know these are the years that will shape the woman I am becoming. True, I didn't know humans were able to be this selfless. And I'm not tooting my own horn either. Any mother, especially one who has stepped aside from a career in order to wipe the mouths and bottoms of babies - knows that there is just no option....you have to be selfless even if it isn't done {always} with the best of intentions. I also didn't know people could be this exhasuted and still do normal things - like pay bills or fold laundry. No wonder my running shorts ended up in the freezer yesterday! But I also didn't know I could feel this proud either. So, yes, the days are hard and they are a little lonely right now but I know this is just a season and I know soon I will be begging for some "lonely" time in a few years when the talking really doesn't stop. I am sure a "screamout" won't work in those days as I'll have a little more explaining to do.......

Sincerely,
Slightly lonely in the ATL (but knowing it's only temporary.....)
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To pass our afternoon time today we went to throw pennies in the fountain at Perimeter Mall. For real.
I'm getting pretty desperate aren't I? Monday we went to story time at Barnes and Noble, yesterday we went to the library and then to the Hippo Hopp which is basically a warehouse where kids can somehwat safely run around. Monday we did another trip to Ikea to pass the minutes. It's funny because I saw many of the same women at each of these places this week....mom's like m just trying to stay out of the heat and stay alive! Needless to say, I can' t promise that one of us didn't end up in the fountain today. And it wasn't on accident......ha! I do love these little boys and their non-stop-adventures.



But look who I caught trying to hold hands on the way home after nearly throwing each other in the mall fountain moments before? Precious.