Paralyzed

Two babies.
Asleep.
For two hours....going on two hours and fifteen minutes.
Unprecedented.
And I am stuck.
Paralyzed.

What to do with myself?

Little guy is 6 weeks today!

Oh, and we still have a newborn. I know you still hear alot of the older crazy child but the baby is still here. I'll give you the quick update......
sleep spitup eat spitup spitup sleep poo sleep eat poo spitup spitup spitup SMILE poo poo poo sleep sleep sleep poo spitup

But we love him dearly and that one smile has made it all worth it........Happy 6 weeks little William! We've all survived...hooray!

Susie homemaker...not so much

I'll occasionally run across a perfect mom/wife/homemaker through one of the blogs I (used to) read daily. I would read stories of homemade finger paint, handmade presents for friends, and freshly cooked bread for the family along with an occasional pattern to make dresses for a daughter or a blog on how to clip coupons and save a million dollars in a year. I don't turn away from the perfection of a perfect blog woman with disgust or even envy. I just never have wanted to be that mom/wife/lady or atleast I never knew I did but somewhere deep below my haphazard attempts at motherhood and wife hood I probably do want to be that perfect-looking woman for atleast one day just to see what it tastes like. I'd even end my day rubbing my husbands weary shoulders and asking him about the affairs of the office if I were ever really that woman. But on every other day but today even my pinky toe can't do the right thing with the right heart behind it to make someone think we're the All-American picture of the perfect family.

Well, ladies, today may have just been my day. Before noon I had actually cleaned my house or atleast if you took a picture it would look that way. We may have all still been in our pajamas but we had sorted colored blocks with Brooks - aka - learned something. We had given Will-I-Am some tummy time and "mirror time" - aka - tended to the needs of a newborn. And we had even played fetch with the furry guy....yes, all before noon. For lunch we made a feast out of the few morsels of food left in the house hence leaving me feeling even more crafty and efficient than I do on my normal eat-out-for-three-meals-despite-having-just-gone-to-the-store type of day. Then, this afternoon we hit the neighborhood park like any other perfect-looking family would do...we sang songs on the way there and even picked a few flowers for the table on the way home. Big B came home early and drove up to the park and of course he too looked like the perfect little selfless daddy that he is just to add to our seemingly pretty picture. Oh, and I made a quiche tonight. That's right. A real live quiche. It certainly had more red pepper than a real (not fake like me) perfect mom would have thrown in there without measuring but it was a quiche and it was pretty and that is what matters here today on my rare day of Susie-homemaker bliss.

But.....this is what happens at dinner time despite all of my attempts at perfection today. And I would beg to argue that every seemingly perfect household has an occasional day that ends just like this and there is nothing you can do about it but laugh and try again tomorrow, right?

16 months...what a pretty number!

I love even numbers. Therefore I will probably like our second son more than the first because his birthday is so pretty. 8-16-10....nice and even. Everything about the rest of our family and my life is odd numbered. If I knew the slightest thing about karma or feng shui (I obviously don't even know how to spell it) then I would attribute any chaos in my daily routine (which there is never any) to my overloaded environment of odd, ugly numbers.
Today the big man turned 16 months. You could tell from his first bite of waffle this morning that he knew it was his day to celebrate and that his mama would let him do whatever he pleased because she was in even-numbered-euphoria. Sidenote -The waffle ended up in the curtains and from that first throw the day followed the same pattern. Nonetheless, I was feeling a little sentimental and reflective today so I pretty much let him get away with anything just less than terrorizing his little brother. As I have said every month and will continue to say every month to follow....I love this month! I truly am enjoying this stage B is in....discovering, watching, mimicking, pretending, making the world his world. He is so much fun to watch throughout the day and I do just pray as I've prayed over and over and over that I don't miss this stage. As you can imagine it is much easier to miss a stage now that there is another one in his own very different stage. But hold me accountable......

Here are just a few of my favorite things to remember:
*He loves stacking things and knocking them down
*He shows us his "happy feet" all day long now (thanks to his friend, Lee)
*He finally learned to drink out of a straw thanks to Nise feeding his sweet tea
*Uh-oh is his favorite thing to say (and lucky for us - not "duck" anymore)
*He chases Amos around the house even though Amos pays him no attention
*He can slide down the slide on his own and he will do this all day long if I let him (and usually I do while I am inside feeding the baby or cleaning up)
*Which leads to the next favorite thing - he truly can play on his own and loves to entertain himself....thank goodness!
*He has started fake laughing at anything but mostly not funny things
*He loves bubble baths until all of his skin is pruny and falling off
*He loves his daddy and loves watching him leave and greeting him when he gets home. They still wrestle on the bed each night to wind down.
*He has my rhythm and likes to dance
*He may or may not eat too much sugar as a stranger at the park informed me the other day. Thank you, sassy stranger, but we are doing just fine without the comments!
*He isn't the biggest fan of school just yet but I am told after his initial 15 minutes of screaming he forgets about me and loves the playground and music time.
*He likes butter beans. I HATE BUTTER BEANS! But I just love that he loves something that tastes like chalk....maybe that means he will like more tasty veggies in the years to come.
*Oh, and he is obsessed with shoes. He could spend 40 minutes trying to put his shoes on and after he has tried and tried again he will go get dads shoes and take a shot at dads feet....and then mine....and then yours if you are visiting. He obviously doesn't have my severe hatred towards feet.

B-man, you make me young! You keep me on my toes and you remind me each day that God has a purpose in me being your mother. You also bring joy to any small situation. You are my little buddy and my lunch date each day and I don't think anyone could fill that role better.

I know, I know, I know

The picture on the scroll bar needs to be updated as things in our lives have been updated. And I know that the blog name is no longer fitting for our family of 3 B's and a W. I know, people, and I can assure you that before there are 5 of us I will have these things fixed.
But for now, I am just enjoying the slight return to a new somewhat normal. Yesterday and today were the closest things to normal (aka - heaven) right now. I had a little bit of all the good things...sleep, exercise, quiet time to myself, time to clean and organize, and of course, Cafe at Pharr. So as much as I do walk around wanting to chronicle these first weeks with W and these fun weeks with B - I am doing what I tell other mommy's to do - don't miss it.....enjoy it and soak it all in!

For the record though, W smiled at me this evening. It was a big ole goofy smile and it did melt my heart the very same way Brooks' first smile brought me to tears. I know it sounds crazy but I actually am realizing/accepting/admitting/acknowledging that we have a new child in our family today. I thought I was before but today I feel it....and it feels so good!

Any suggestions for a new blog name? Technically we are all still "B's" so I could easily just have 4 B's in a pod but at some point I know the pod has to stop expanding. Thoughts????

New mercies each morning

I have felt like a big haired sweet grandma lately. (Neither of my grandmas have big hair and nor do they come to mind when I describe the lady I am picturing). It's more like your sweet granny that makes her own jelly and has a home remedy for everything and could spend every moment at church or the beauty parlor. You see, every day I have made the comment that "God has given me new mercies each day" and yes, I coined it from the lady I am talking about and it has truly been my theme song each day these last several weeks.
Today my new mercy is the extra piece of chocolate pound cake that one of my grandmothers sent home with my mom yesterday. It has made the perfect pre-breakfast snack during the perfect up-before-everyone-else kind of morning. Praise God for chocolate cake!
Yesterday my little mercy was the sheer fact that I had fallen asleep on my own the night before and therefore, spent one less night than I had expected roaming the house wondering when the insomnia might truly be gone. And once again today, I woke up after more than 6 hours of sleep in a row! This sounds normal to most of you but to a few of you that have walked this journey with me you know this is a huge gift for me. I haven't seen more than 4 hours of sleep in a row without taking any medicine to fall asleep in over two months. Can I get an Amen?
Despite walking through this bittersweet season of life (sweet of course because of the natural joy a newborn brings to a heart and of course bitter from this ongoing battle with insomnia) I have truly felt rested and my heart has been at peace.....all because of the mercies - big and small - that I get each new day and each new morning. Sunday was a rough day all the way around in our house. The whole house didn't sleep and it was obvious from the clothes stuffed in corners, the diapers on the floor, and the spit up and other bodily excretions all over me and Brad and the house. Yummy. I'll never forget that day. We were falling apart all day long and the more we tried to pull ourselves together the more we fell apart. But leave it to Super-Dad to salvage our day and the weekend. He put on his Mr. Rogers sweater and reminded me and the boys that attitude is 98% responsible for our outlook, while circumstance is the other 2%. The circumstances this particular Sunday were not favorable but our attitude was footloose and fancy free. We got out of the house and even snuck in a 20 minute nap in the car on the way to the park (yes, all of us....windows down napping in the car in a parking lot). Brad and I were able to enjoy a nice dinner (even though one of the babies had to sit through dinner in his diaper due to the above mentioned excretions) and that night we got the house back in order and vowed to start anew the next day.
So, yes, Brad, I agree....attitude is everything and I have been so grateful for your refreshing attitude lately. Yes, things are a little hectic around here lately. Things aren't in their right places and there is little quiet time to be found but I know this is just a season and soon enough we will wonder where the watermelon-stained clothes have gone to and where the nose and commotion went? Soon enough these boys will be picking me up and putting me where they want me (as my sweet mother in law has reminded me) and we'll both have a little less say-so in our day to day agenda.

Oh, yall, I am so grateful that God gives me the grace enough each day to handle exactly what the day may hold. Thank you for each new morning and each new mercy and for the lack of guilt I feel as I finish off my pound cake.

Catch up

It's happened. Everyone warned us and I knew it would be true but I sort of hoped it wasn't. After only 4 short and very long weeks of the little mans life - we have officially taken no pictures, had no parties, and called him every name but his own. Luckily he is still too young to even smile out of joy rather than from gas relief so we have some years to catch up on his individual attention but there is no denying.....it is quite different this time around. We wouldn't have left B in the living room of the condo if one of us wasn't in the room.....therefore, we toted him everywhere.....I mean everywhere. I'll never forget Brad texting me to ask how he was supposed to go to the bathroom when B was about 3 weeks old. It was his first babysitting experience and he was truly in a dilemma. Needless to say he took the car seat in the restroom and rocked the little guy while he did other things. Lovely picture.
Well, quite oppositely, W babysat last night while we went out for a walk.
KIDDING.
Really, though, W goes everywhere and with much less concern over a clean diaper, a non-smelly outfit, when he needs a nap, or how his head is positioned. Last night he took me out for a night on the town. We ventured two streets over to our neighborhood supper club. Maybe I dropped mac and cheese in his hair while I was trying to get a little in my mouth. And maybe I forgot I was wearing him around my belly like a cool, new accessory....I promise we'll make up for the lack of detailed attention in the months and weeks to come. As I've said....right now it's just about survival and we are surviving just fine.
Oh, and to add to this cute little story of our second sons quiet first few weeks.....I was in the tub the other night and as I should have been doing - I was texting with my husband from my cool new iphone. He sent me a picture of W, supposedly. I wrote back about how cute our babies are and how one day we should make more cute people because the world needs good looking people. He then sent me another picture text with a really mad W screaming. This went on for 5 pictures and 5 responses until I finally realized he wasn't even sending me pictures of W - they were pictures of B in the same outfit from last year. It's not that the two kiddos look remotely alike. It's just that is has all seemed to run together. Whenever I am comparing situations I use the terms "this year" and "last year"......not "this child" or "that child." Again, it's all about survival right now and it seems it's been like that for two years. But, no worries, my little worrying-blog-friends, things are so close to feeling normal and steady again that I can assure you these posts will take on a whole new flavor in the weeks to come. Yesterday I sang to Journey at the top of my lungs with my windows down as the kiddos snoozed in the car on the way home from the mall. How stinkin normal is that? We also went to Target for hours and bought things we don't need with money we don't have.....could there be anything more normal? Oh, and I have been wearing tall shoes for 3 days now. If that doesn't scream - "I'm not pregnant anymore and things are almost normal" than I don't know what does.

Cheers to normalcy and recognizing W as his own person and not a year! Happy Saturday!

So, here are the few shots of the last several weeks.
Grandmothers and/or B's fan club.....he is OBSESSED with this train table. I hear it is quite an investment but I also hear every boy needs one and since we now have two - we have more of a reason for a train set and even more of a reason to move to the burbs and buy a big house (though we never will!) because where else do you put stuff like this? Can it serve as a kitchen table too?

How sweet is the two week old? This IS definitely W and not B. I promise I know the difference.

Can we take him back to the hospital, mom?
One month old (this was Thursday)
Who are you? You are still here?

B went to play school for the first time in the past few weeks. He looks alot happier here than the images that come to my mind when I think of "school" so I'll keep reminding myself via this picture that he loves school and he doesn't cry.

Someone discovered

WATERMELON!



And I discovered Oxy Clean.

I love AP

Technically we do not live in "AP." We live a few houses outside of the neighborhood but nonetheless, we call it home. We've only been here since February and had you ever asked what I thought about this side of the tracks years ago I would have said, "where?" I grew up on the other side of the city and only knew interstate 75 as the only way to get anywhere. Therefore anything beyond Okay Cafe might as well be in South Carolina. But then with a 10 day notice we were to relocate back to our beloved city from Savannah this past winter and we ended up over here.....on the other side. I have never been more thrilled over any of our other last minute decisions.
Living in our neighborhood for not even 6 months has given a whole new meaning to "neighbor." We are slightly obsessed with our across the street neighbors and their three girls. Luckily they are too busy with kids to know we even have a blog so they won't feel too violated by me saying this....but we both have a crush on their family. Some nights after all the little people are in bed we will catch each other on the drive way and have a little impromptu "date night" and just last weekend we joined them for dinner and it was so nice to be able to walk across the street with the little men in their pajamas. We also basically share a drive way with our next door neighbors and I love getting to catch up with them everyday after work. The husband is from Brazil and he has his own little crush on Brooks so it works great for a little daily dose of entertainment.

Anyway, last night we ended up at a house warming party in the neighborhood and Brad and I may or may not have forgotten that we had kids for a few hours. Brooks was "that" kid walking around parentless with 2 hot dogs in his hands and watermelon all over his shirt. I am just grateful the whole neighborhood was looking after him while Brad and I did a little neighborly fraternizing and maybe even a little patio dancing. It's amazing how good it feels to talk to real live adults after days inside with little people! We drove the one minute home and let Brooks put his brother to bed and we crashed. I LOVE not having to drive too far for entertainment1
Aside from the many neighbors and friends we have living within a mile of us we also love....
1) Verde, Haven and Yoforia....a few of our favorite eateries right around the corner. We have yet to go once and not spend time catching up with dear friends.
2) The park. The neighborhood park is a boys dream where a train passes every 30 minutes and an airplane flies high above on it's way to PDK nearly every other minute.
3) The hills. You know I love to kill myself walking or running some hills and we surely have plenty.
4) Supper clubs, play groups, movies at the park.....you name it - there is always something for us to do and someone to meet should we need to get out in the middle of the day.
5) The crazy neighborhood list serve. Every good neighborhood has a few crazies and we surely have our share. I love getting a daily laugh over the random item up for sale or the latest complaint.

In a city like Atlanta it is so easy to get lost - yes, physically but also among all of the people moving in and out and about. We have been so grateful to actually feel part of a community within a big city. Our current abode may not be the roomiest place with a growing family and yes, the Bob Stroller has truly become the largest piece of furniture right in the middle of the living room but we are happy! I would certainly sacrifice space (atleast in this early stage of raising munchkins) for location and "community." Bring on the new Publix, Costco, and hopefully Cafe at Pharr!

Ingredients for a really sweet Saturday

First ingredient: Good news
Yesterday we received the best phone call and the biggest answer to prayer. Little baby William was tested earlier this week for Cystic Fibrosis due to some abnormal numbers that came back from his newborn screen in the hospital. This was certainly a long and trying week for all of us but for some unknown reason I was unusually calm. Brad and I sat in the garden at Children's hospital holding our new baby and hoping he would sweat as that is how he is tested for the disease. And we prayed and thanked God for this baby's first 3 healthy weeks. Even then, before the good news, I just knew that all would be okay....not that he would be free from the disease but that all would be okay. I have clung to Psalm 18 these past 6 weeks as a dear friend sent the words to me in the midst of my pre-delivery insomnia. I will admit, I haven't been attached to scripture in a very long time. I read it, I try to memorize it and fail and then I close the book and move on. But in this season the messages to me have been so clear and so powerful and truly, the words have been the only thing that has truly rescued me from the big ugly things like insomnia to the minute things like a prayer for 10 minutes of solstice during the day. At one point the words say "he rescued me because he delighted in me." I don't think anyone can read the words "He delighted in me" and not melt just a little bit. How enjoyable to be "delighted in." Of course, in the midst of the diapers and lack of personal hygiene and the lack of sleep I have felt nothing close to desirable but I wake up every morning and I say - He rescued me because He delighted in me. Ahhhhhhhhh.......

So anyway....I have said pieces of this scripture to myself often over the last several weeks. My God is my rock and my fortress. And during these last days of waiting the news of little bit's health- I needed a rock. Luckily we did get good news and we have all been so elated the last 24 hours. This disease was not our cross to bare. I know there will be other hurdles but for now we are so grateful that William is perfectly healthy and will not have to battle this disease. Thank you for your prayers and concern. Here is a picture of the two boys sweating it out together. I'll forever look at this picture and get a little weepy thinking of the way we were "rescued" from this particular battle for the moment.
Second ingredient: A long walk
I am obsessed with many things today. The Bob Double stroller. Yes, it is as big as a Cadillac and cost slightly more but it is soooo worth it! We have enjoyed so many walks in our neighborhood in the past 3 weeks. This is my sanity everyday - especially on a pretty Saturday with Big B around to help out. Brooks gets a sucker to lick on and rub in his hair for an hour, William gets some vitamin D and I get high on good feelings! I LOVE getting outside with the boys. It may be the only place we go for awhile until I figure out how to tackle other seemingly normal things like the laundry and the mall so I hope the boys like it as much as I do! I am hoping that pushing the 80lbs up hill a few times a week will help with this post-baby-yucky-flab. Awesome.
Third ingredient: Football

Enough said. You would think Brad had just been named man of the year and given a billion dollars and an endless supply of Miller Lite.....he is one happy husband which makes me happy and Brooks smile and William.....well, he doesn't notice but he will one day. And now that dad wears a UGA hat, Brooks will finally attempt to wear one too. Don't get me wrong - I love some Southern football. I grew up going to Athens and I've sat in Vince Dooley's lap and even been to the movies with Larry Munson (shady, I know but that's another story) BUT I love football even more now because it makes the boys happy. If they are happy then they let me go out in the mornings by myself and ride with my windows down and work out and go to stores and eat lunch by myself and that is worth all the football watching a boy wants to do. I love fall football!
Last ingredient: Sleeping babies. Thank you sweet God for creating the nap. {Yes, his outfit may be a tad too big (haha - a little more than a "tad") but we aren't concerned. He is cute and could wear a tie and clown shoes and look precious.}
Oh yes, and SLEEP! The necessary ingredient is sleep and I got 8 of those hours of sleep last night thanks to super-husband. EIGHT STINKIN hours!!!! I haven't slept 8 hours straight since May and it feels sooooooo good. Call me today if you want to hear one rested and elated lady. I LOVE SLEEP!
Oh, and more more thing - A sale. I bought a whole bunch of goodies for the kiddos at this scrumptious little store all for half price because of this amazing iphone App. Now the money I saved can go towards a treat for me this week.
Happy Saturday!

There is an App for that

Friday afternoon my sugar daddy did about the coolest thing he has ever done and I have since become about the coolest mom on the block.

You see, prior to Friday I didn't care at all about technology. I'd be fine not owning a television and I'd still own the first version of a cell phone - you know the brick looking one in a bag - if it weren't for my clumsiness with anything of value. But when Brad came walking in the door last Friday about to pull the biggest surprise he has yet to pull - my archaic ways went out the front door. I am now the proud owner of an iphone. Let me say that again - I have an iphone. I don't know how to do anything on it except take a picture and send it to poor grandmothers who have always said they want more pictures but didn't know that meant I would send them a photo every half hour of B eating a banana, kissing his brother, trying to tie his shoe, walking down the stairs, eating a snack, smiling, not smiling and everything else in between.

Granted, I was really hoping for a new pair of shoes should I have found any extra cash laying around but I am more giddy that daddy-o took it upon himself to surprise me with a gift that I didn't pick out. I have worn the same 2 pairs of shoes throughout my two pregnancies and though the condition is still pretty good - I don't want anything to do with anything maternity anymore. But the shoes can wait. In fact, I am sure there is some kind of App that will actually find the perfect pair of shoes for me and notify me when they have arrived on my doorstep. Seriously - there is an app for everything! And...I am now convinced that any nursing mama MUST have an iphone to get through the middle of the night feedings. William and I read important things about the world (ie - catch up on blogs) and we work with numbers (play suduko) in the wee hours of the morning and I know we are smarter from this activity. Then today Brooks found an app to entertain him during our walk outside and though he turns the sound off every 34 seconds - he is sure to learn some new words with the Baby Flash card app. I was convinced that this was the ultimate of gifts today when I downloaded Pandora Radio during our walk and I listened to some uplifting music for the last 20 minutes of my walk. The sun was out, the boys were sleeping, I was pushing 80 pounds up hill and visualizing my shrinking waist line all the while the iphone was on overdrive - singing to me, calculating my calories burned and miles walked, informing me when very important emails had been sent my way, and taking a picture or two every so often just to capture the perfect moment.

Thank you, dear husband, for knowing exactly what I needed to get me through this adventure with two under two. I'm forever a believer in your zany quest for the newest/latest high tech gadget of the moment. Is there an app to remind you to surprise me like that again in a few months? I love surprises more!

Awkward blog-woman

Hello my name is ________ _______________ and I don't know how to do normal things anymore. Things as normal as brushing my teeth in the proper hour or talking to a dear friend on the phone. When I am in the grocery store I forget where my usual things are located and often around the house I walk in a circle from the bedroom through the kitchen to the bathroom just to look for the garbage can. I am not exaggerating either. I am coming to grips with my incessant awkwardness but hoping in the back of my mind that this is all just temporary.
And more than ever before I dream of writing. I've written on napkins or in journals or on torn notebook paper and now in a blog since I learned my letters, seriously. I still have my first pink journal with my name painted on the front that I received from the pink elephant in Brandon, Florida when I was maybe 7. I wrote secrets about who my best friends were and how much I liked going to Disney World with my family. In middle school I would keep names that I liked that I would one day plan to name my children. None of them have actually worked because I only named girls in my journal and I don't know how to make girl babies. Then in high school things took a much deeper twist - writing about everything from the tragic death of one of my dear friends to the bliss of young high school love. College was again a different story with a journal a semester dedicated to the "me" that I was discovering I wanted to be. I love looking back at those ramblings and seeing how silly I was about boys but how wise I was about more serious matters of the heart - especially when it came to my faith in God. I love seeing the path He has had me on since my meandering days in Athens. Anyway, I have letters to myself from those days and letters to people that have never been sent all stored on my computer and then after college I did something I never thought I'd do....I began sharing my love of writing and my need to not feel alone in my thoughts with the world wide web - thanks to a dear friend and long term blogger-extraordinaire - Charlsie. I loved that first blog to pieces. It filled a space at the time that nothing else could fill. I truly loved reading over my words and laughing at myself on most occasions. For reasons not fully known I abruptly stopped writing on that blog and I still remember the day I did like the day that my closest friend had just left me high and dry with no way to be contacted. Somehow my exit from the blogging world temporarily led me to a boy that I married and then I found my writing time to be even more on the decline. I had always thought though that when I really found love all I would want to do is write about the joys of love and attraction. I did write a journal for my husband to be during our engagement but some of the entries were more out of duty to myself. Anyway, the same thing with kids - I'd think i'd have bajillions of amazing thoughts to write about - and maybe I do - but of course there is little time and now I am just left feeling awkward.

So, here I sit.... I have about 55 minutes to myself until there is one more dependent to be fed and put to "bed" (which is only about a 3.5hour event right now) and all I want to do is write about motherhood and the fun weekend we had as a family of 4 and how I cry over spilled milk these days and I can't complete a sentence because I am so tired but how the Lord has been so merciful to me in hearing my cries to defeat my insomnia that I had experienced. And I want to write about my favorite recipes and my dreams and what I want to do for my 30th birthday and I want to post cute pictures of the two little boys in my life. But the truth is everything that once seemed normal now just seems awkward. As I write the room around me is spinning because I am so tired and the thoughts keep bouncing around my head with no consistency. I long to sit and write beautifully once again and maybe even move someone or chuckle to myself over my own sillyness but for now - just bare with me.....things are still very un-normal around here and I am still very much lost in this new world. There are certainly moments that have surprised even me - where I pinch myself and hold back the tears because the picture is just too sweet. . . a 75 degree Saturday and a selfless husband throwing the ball with his 15 month old son all the while a newborn snoozes inside the Baby bjourn. Add the smell of hotdogs grilling and the sound of the bulldawgs playing on tv and things are good. Like sooo good and better than I ever knew they could be. You see, I have taken in all of the warnings of how hard this would be. But then there is today where there was literally not one moment to even have a thought about anything other than milk, a diaper, or spit up. And while I tried my best all day to live in the hour and not start to wonder about the future - or when I might ever get to read a book or let alone brush my teeth - today was hard. This is going to be a challenge and my hands are full but I do still know and rest in the truth that this is God's plan for me and it is a good one - no matter how hard.

And that is my awkward situation in a nutshell. I am still in a fog and still trying to wrap my arms around this new life, literally, and my new "life" with two little boys and little free time to......let's say - blog and post cute pictures. I expect that things will be more settled in six weeks or so but until then just ignore much of what I say on here. I'll return but in the mean time we are enjoying this new story and really really craving sleep! Good night, friends!
Your truly,
Awkward in Atlanta

It does take a village

My left leg is shaky and my eyes keep bolting from one side of the house to the back porch. No, I don't have any rare disease that I know of but I do have the "quiet-house-aphobia." I feel it those few times during the week when everything in the house is quiet but the dishwasher and Amos snoring. This shouldn't be the case, right? There are two little people in this abode and everyone warned me about the chaos that I was going to experience. Don't get me wrong - there are moments of utter chaos like this morning when one little guy pooped in my lap as I was feeding him all the while his brother was walking around "cleaning" things with his syrupy hands. Thank you, brother, for your help. Usually the chaos only sneaks up a few times during the day when it just so happens that two boys are hungry or two boys are waking up and wanting undivided attention. Otherwise, this is manageable. With help that is....manageable with truly the help of a village.
In the past week we have had neighbors bring us dinners, take our dog out for a play date. yes, I said, dog. What kind of friends even want to love on your dog when a new baby enters the picture? We've had mommy's come take Brooks for rides in the car or a morning out. We've had our mothers cook, clean, wipe noses and bottoms, shop, and not sleep all in the name of selfless help. We've had friends drop off gifts and lunch and offer to take our laundry to the local laundry man. I know the newness of our new life with two kids will soon die and so will the phone calls and the visitors but until then I am truly soaking up all of the support that our "village" has offered these past several weeks. Honestly, two or five kids is doable if you have the help from friends, neighbors, and family that we have had since William arrived.
My heart really is so full. I know my last post was all about being grateful and I know you don't want to tune into me every week (and now only about once a week) to hear my sappy stories of joy and gratitude but when the house is this quiet and clean and there is supper on the way and lunch was just brought to me - all I can feel is thankful. Thank you, everyone, for being our village during this transition.
And, now, I am seriously going to shut my eyes and enjoy the quiet. Amen!
Here are a few shots from the best help we had living with us all last week. We miss you, grandma!