You know it's been a long day when....

You are laying in the bathtub at 447pm on a rainy day because A)it was the first opportunity you had to baithe and B)you thought you could hide from the 18 month old. Wrong! Instead, you continued to lay in the warm bath while said 18 month old threw articles of clean clothing from the laundry basket full of 4 loads of yet to be folded clean laundry in the bathtub with his one hand while shooting you with his water gun with the other hand.....all the while hysterically laughing as if the only reason you got in the tub in the first place was for his entertainment.

Where is the 3 month old you might ask? Oh, hanging the Christmas tree lights because after a few days with an unlit tree he was tired of the little lights not twinkling, Clark.

Oh, how I am not looking forward to the cold winter days stuck inside with two little boys that need their wide open spaces to jump and destroy and terrorize and they are unable to do this inside these walls. (because William is surely doing all that I just mentioned at the age of 3 months! Ha ha. . . maybe not but he still gets a little stir crazy inside all day.)

Thank goodness for a husband who doesn't travel and who lays me down on the big couch, turns on the fire, does the dishes and gets my heating pad for my aching back (from carrying two tanks around) while he then puts the little guys to bed. Now that is the perfect ending to a very very long day.....

Thankful that someone always knows better

We moved into this house early this past Spring. We went from nearly 2400 square feet to maybe 1400 and then preceded to add another person to the share the roof. So as you can imagine the man whom I reside with gets a little cookoo occasionally over the most peculiar things. Atleast once a month he pleads with me to remove the lineup of baby toys that sit atop the fireplace in the sun room. The sun room is certainly everyone's favorite room of the house. We spend 90% of our waking hours in this room playing and snuggling. It is especially perfect when it is raining outside. You see, Brad works 10 hours a day so what he doesn't see are the blocks being stacked and knocked down, the books being read over and over and over, and the diaper changing that goes on in this room. All of the toys sit on top of a large quilt that Brad's grandmother made for him as a young boy. The quilt is so soft and has so much character - I hate to have it as a fireplace protector but it gives the "toy room" a little warmth and coziness. Just a few weeks ago Brad almost won me over - again pleading to remove anything and everything Fisher Price along with my foam mats and "fireplace protector" so he could feel like our lives aren't being taken over by little people. Newsflash: they have been....no fighting that one.

Thank goodness the mom in me didn't give into the wife in me in this instance. I just knew that I found these ugly black pads At garage sale for a steal for a reason and though the cosy fireplace cushioning completely hides the pretty fire place I went with my gut and told "Mr. I like to rearrange things on the weekends when I am needing a task to accomplish" that the play/relax/watch tv/napping room would stay just as it was....a play room first. After all, we do spend much of our day in this 10 by 20 foot space.

Tonight I was trying to come up with something edible for dinner in the kitchen when I heard the most horrific scream to date coming from the play room - followed by a gasp from Brad. My stomach fell to my toes and I ran in the other room to see the largest, purplest goose egg on the poor toddlers forehead. He did as he always does when he needs consoling - he laid his head on my shoulder and tucked his hands under his belly and in between mine and he just cried. Fortunately, we watched him for a little while and he seemed to be fine - reaching for the bubble machine two minutes later and then protesting for a "nack" of gummy bears before he went to bed.....all very normal. As I was in the shower I said a short prayer of thanks for our Protector protecting our baby from what could have been a terrible accident tonight. I am sure there are going to be many scares like this in the future but for tonight I am so thankful that I knew better than to remove that sweet blanket a few weeks ago. I guess our plan to take a Christmas photo tomorrow for our Christmas card may have to include a little photo shop work???

And while I may have known better than to trust that the wobbly 18 month old would not have any falls in the playroom - which isn't so playful....slate floors and a fire place.....I am so thankful tonight, too, that someone bigger knew what was best for me this year.

I can remember just a few months ago - just weeks after William was born - talking to Brad one night, or sobbing rather, about how I felt that we had messed up somewhere. Everything for a little while was truly a mess over here.....the house, my car, the bills, the laundry but mostly, my heart. Two babies just seemed unbearable and for a short while and I really did question God's timing for our family. I couldn't have imagined God using even a crumb of our story at the time. I was a wreck from my bout with insomnia. Brad was trying to hold the affairs of the house together while maintaining a high-stress job and picking up many of the night feedings. Brooks was growing teeth and adjusting to his new "normal" so he was just a tantrum waiting to happen and any help we had from grandparents was certainly worn thin by that point. Oh gosh, I am soooo glad those newborn days are over! I feel guilty saying that because I know I can't get them back but I can be honest here - those days were some of our worst. Thankfully, a few months into this and my heart has had a huge makeover. I have much more of a handle on the events of the day. The big-little man may give me some tests of character but that is usually attributed to the lack of his basic needs - food and sleep.

After I put Brooks to bed tonight I had some one on one time with the little-little man (though he isn't little at all). Y'all....it has happened. I am absolutely smitten for this little guy. He truly is the happiest human I've ever met. He smiles so big he gags himself sometimes and all he wants back is just a glance in his direction. His chubby cheeks aren't just chubby they are all-consuming. You can barely see his eyes half of the time and not because they aren't big and wonderful but because his cheeks have taken over his whole face. I know it's only been a few weeks but I truly couldn't imagine my life without "brother."

God on this eve of thanksgiving - my most favorite day of the year, my heart is so very full. Yes, my immediate family is healthy, both of our boys are growing, Brad has a job and we live in the greatest country in the world but more than all of those huge blessings - I am cared for by a God who knows me and always knows what is better. Thank you, God, for knowing just what my hardened heart needed this year - yet another baby. Thank you, William, for so innocently but in a weird way - knowing that your goofy smile and chubby cheeks and thighs are all I need to know for certain that there is someone else who knows best.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends. Just when I thought I couldn't love anymore my heart grew bigger.....

11.23.10

{18 months and 14 weeks}
Obviously we breed line backers over here. Brooks weighed in today at his 18 month appointment close to 29 whopping pounds. Luckily, he isn't lop-sided though as his height was some number I can't remember but in the 90% which means he is just one thick boy. This shouldn't surprise me - he lives on waffles, hot dogs, and whole milk with an occasional green bean and sweet potato. THe nurse asked me if he was picky? By looking at the kid you would think there is no way he is picky but come share a meal with us and you will see. Actually, I don't even think it is "pickyness" - it is pure stubbornness. I can not believe a human with only 18 months under his belt can be so hard headed. Brooks wants what he wants right when he wants it - no sooner and no later. Hopefully this is just the spell of kidaroos his age - please tell me it is. Please tell me that his "make me want to curse" behavior is as normal as going gray...it comes with the age? Anyone? Because if it isn't normal and if it doesn't go away soon I'm giving him to grandma. I'm not kidding. I am truly baffled by this little guy. I think he has split personalities....a sweet as a strawberry one minute and the next minute he is flinging rice and black beans across the table while crying hysterically - warranting those wonderful looks from strangers that make me feel like I've abused my own child. "No, lady, I didn't touch him with even my finger....He just doesn't want anything I suggest or you suggest for that matter" (now stop starring at me!) THe doctor says his little stunts are quite normal for this age. Once again, I don't remember reading about this in the babies for dummies book. I thought the "Terrible Two's" were just that Terrible at TWO! Of course I have secretly liked that our firstborn has hit his milestones well before the charts might indicate but not this milestone. I was hoping with enough fun-mommy moments and bribes with suckers we would have flown right past this horrific stage. I'm sure my mama was just cackling inside as Brooks flung his cup across the restaurant while attempting to hit me with the other. I am sure I gave her a few blood-rising moments in her young days of being a mom and I guess I am now reaping what I had once sown???? Whatever the cause of this mess - I am not surviving it very well or with much grace. In fact, I left lunch in tears and had to put myself in time-out before I could walk back into the war zone called lunch. You would think I would learn to save lunches and dinners for the privacy of my own home. Public entities are just not ready for the wrath of a tired 18 month old and a one-handed mother (whose other hand is usually bouncing a 3 month old.)

On other more positive notes - both boys were super sweet the rest of the day after a little R&R at grandmas house. William fell asleep in Nene's arms which I am sure just moved him into first place. Mean while, Brooks made up his own game called "pop pop" that consisted of him clapping his hands on the bed and then screaming "pop pop" and falling backwards without any thought of what might have been behind him. Whatever...he was entertained and I was still recovering from the terrible lunch. And on an even more positive note - I cleaned out the mom-mobile today and found enough food crumbs to feed my neighbors three growing boys for a week, my blockbuster card, an overly expensive lip gloss that I just had to have but lost a day later, and a sweet letter from Brad from last fall. I should do this more often....neat little trinkets to be found hiding in the seats of the Explorer! What I loved about this little outing wasn't that I was by myself more than I actually completed a task and just like raking leaves - i could see the results of my work. Gotta love instant gratification! As you have probably concluded from the twisty-turvy direction of my thoughts on this blog - I rarely complete thoughts anymore - let alone tasks. So, even though the rain came 6 minutes after I finished washing my car - I atleast completed the chore in one outing.

For the scrapbook - here are a few more 18 month things I should probably remember:
*B knows a bajillion words so I won't go through the list as many of my better mommy friends have done. If I have said it he has said it whether or not he understands the meaning. For instance, he says "Eee-Iiii-Oooo" if I bring out the camera because I usually sing to get him to smile for a picture. In addition, if I ask where Betsy is he points to himself and says "bet-tey." We'll work on that one....
*My favorite thing he does is his "Goooo dawgs" cheer. He breaks that one out at the most random times - like today after he told me in the car that he had "pu-Poo" (#2) in his pants.
*He can (sort of) run. His friend Caleb can run and it is so cute because he will prompt Brooks to chase him and Brooks sometimes will get geared up enough to chase him but he just can't get his little legs to move that fast. He tried and i guess that is all that matters at this point. He also tries to "jump" but his feet have never left the ground.
*He will climb on anything at anytime and then look at me with those big eyes giving me the "I am going to fall" look and then he falls. Atleast he follows through with things. Hence I have to chase him around the house just anticipating when he might fall forward or backward. Oh to be like a child and be so trusting of anyone?
*He tried to take only one nap but if he falls asleep in the car for 15 minutes sometime before lunch he always seems to have a better day. I blame any of his recent "episodes" on the lack of a nap. I would be fine if he napped until he was 14. The nap is God's little tiny treat for a mother.
*He is wearing 24 month clothing and some 2T stuff. I don't think he has ever actually worn his age. Atleast he can start sharing Brad's clothes soon!
*He loves bubbles, singing, dancing, jumping, climbing, repeating, reading, feeding himself, putting his shoes and clothes on and then taking them off, stacking blocks, playing in his cabinet in the kitchen, watching Bob the builder and "Melmo" and Baby Einstein, eating, drinking, holding onto his cup all day long, and blowing kisses. Oh, and his brother. Brooks is very protective a little Willy-B. He doesn't like other kids even looking at him. It is quite endearing to watch. I am glad he has taken such ownership.
*He tells us (or anyone) when he has used the bathroom in his diaper. I guess this means maybe we should try the toilet thing but I just can't do it. I am exhausted just trying to get time for me to go to the bathroom - let alone anyone else. Maybe next year???
*He has 8 teeth and a few more on the way (definitely behind in this department)
*He had his first haircut at 17 months
*He makes us laugh everyday usually right after he has made me want to pull my teeth out and bang my head on a bed of nails. What a sweet boy!

Happy 18 months baby boy! I hear the next 6 will give us a run for our money so bring it on little (precious) rascal.

And though it isn't your birthday - you are about as big as the 18 month old....and a tad sweeter right now. Happy 14 weeks little mister!

Hassle or treat?

We were warned that when the leaves fall at our lovely little abode - they fall hard. The colors are so brilliant and the sizes of the leaves range from itty bitty to elephant ear type leaves. I love watching them fall from the sun room on our house. At first, we were just covered in pine straw and we concluded that the warning about the leaves was bogus. And then it happened and it hasn't stopped. Literally every 1/10 of a second a yellow leaf hits the ground and within an hour the front and back yard can be fully covered in a sea of bright colors.

So this weekend Brad and Brooks hit the local hardware store for a man-date. They looked at lawn mowers and Brad told B about boy things hoping that his new lessons would stick in his mind longer than his usual daily lessons about curling irons and laundry. They came home with a treat for me they said. Thank you, boys. Brooks brought me a rake of my very own. I've never had a rake. Nor have I ever experienced the joy behind using that rake. Call me crazy but I have a new favorite past time. Raking leaves makes me happy because:
1) I can see the progress of my work
2) I get to be outside
3) I love a task that requires a little physicality. This means raking the leaves everyday affords me the extra cookie I eat everyday about 10am
4) It just seems like an all American thing to do (do they rake leaves in Europe? I dunno...)
5) Brooks and William get to "help" in their own way
{Yes, he has Christmas pajamas on. Tis the season...}
Thank you boys for the sweet gift. I would call this little task a Treat rather than a Hassle. (Except for now, 45 minutes after my 2nd raking episode of the season the lawn is already an orange blur! This may turn into a hassle after a few days of this! Experienced rakers out there - are you supposed to rake everyday or just wait until the boogers have all fallen? Inquiring minds want to know.)

Next question - it's close to the end of the month and December looks to be a busy one already. Do I award myself with another little treat a few days early or hold off for the excitement? You got it...it's time to erase the calendar on the dry erase board and put in December's happenings. Again, this may be your least favorite thing to do. I can attest that my husband has probably never even glanced at this calendar that I work so hard to keep and it has lead us to many a miscommunication but I still love this little chore! Definitely another unexpected treat for me today!

Lastly, shouldn't I look at the fact that the toddler is awake after only a 40 minute nap as a treat? More time to enjoy the day and the outdoors together, right? WRONG. HASSLE! Oh Mr. B, I was soo good to you this morning....I took you to the park and then to pet the horses at the horse stables.We also played merrily n the front yard. I even bought you Chick-Fil-A and let you dip your nuggets in the car (disaster!) Why oh why do you repay me with your historically short nap? Dear nap angels in the sky, please show me your favor this week. I need your help. Do you hear me? I'll do good deeds all week long and I'll be extra sweet to mean people just please please throw me a bone!
{B before his historically short nap.}

Multiply

We've have had a tremendous "fall" weekend here in Atlanta! Brad was supposed to head out of town but he decided last minute to hang out with the family and "rest." We have done no resting at all but it's been a full weekend with great fellowship and good food! We had a "taco" supper with some of our favorite people Friday night. I am thankful for pack and plays and sound machines that allow the babies to sleep while we stay out past our curfew. How we love Friday nights in our neighborhood with a few couples that have also doubled their family size in a very short time!

Yesterday we had a mini reunion with some dear friends from Georgia. The weather was perfect for a day of catching up on the porch. What I wouldn't do to call these friends "neighbors" one day?

Now off to rake the leaves and enjoy the outdoors before it starts to get cold here. For some reason the thought of raking the leaves the whole afternoon is oddly comforting. The big boy has a rake, too. Let's see how this goes....

Happy Fall y'all! And, yes, I used quite a few "quotations" in this post. I feel like a Saturday Night Live episode.

Long time "pilgrims" as they call themselves

Old people 10 - Young people 8. Wow. (MIssing 2 Old folks in the picture)

Let's talk television

Modern family last night......hil-ar-i-ous. Oh my goodness, I snorted a few times while trying to laugh....that good. And after my no-good, rotten, horrible day yesterday I needed a happy ending. If you don't watch the show or don't know at all what I am talking about then I pity you. Your soul needs these kind of laughs.

I know that flash mob's are all the rage right now on youtube and among the YoungLife circles of the world, oh, and at Black Eyed Pea concerts but seriously - last night's flash mob on Modern Family takes the cake. If only Brad would participate for his "love letter" to me, then I would know we were truly kindred spirits. As you know, I love anything organized. More so, I love symmetry and anuthing coreographed usually has a beautiful element of symetry and lastly, hello......I love to dance more than anything on this planet. I know I am in a good place emotionally when I catch myself dancing in my hall way mirror or as I walk through the parking lot at the grocery store.

{Speaking of....let's take a time out and dedicate this next paragraph directly to my spouse. Husband, I know you may have not checked your calendar lately so I thought I'd just drop a note to let you know that next month is December. December is great and all for so many reasons, ie - SEC footbally championship (though not a good subject this year), my dad's spiced wassle at the family Christmas party, A Christmas Carol at the Alliance, and Jesus. But after December comes the January, the first month of the year. Yes, usually January is a cold blur and everyone is on Christmas hangover but not this year. This January is what? What, Brad? This January is your favorite 29 year olds next BIRTHDAY! Did you know when you married that girl that she had been thinking of her 30th birthday bash since she was 16? Seriously. Just like Manny on Modern Family, I was born 16, and may have skipped right past childhood and that is because I knew my glory days would be my 30's. And...did you know when you married that beautiful brunette with intoxicating eyes that she is the party thrower of all party throwers and that she wanted to be a dancer in the parades at Disney World when she grew up? All that to say - I don't need much for the biggest birthday I've ever had. I don't need a cake, or even a present but I do want to dance with all of my favorite people. END side note.}

So back to Modern Family.....I love that Brad will break from his usually dorky biographies that he prefers to watch if the television is on at all - to watch this show with me. Last night's episode made me excited for the days when our kids are old enough to make them choose sides and then have competitions between the Mister of the house and me. I love competition especially if you get to then sleep in the same bed with your enemy.....and especially if I am winning! For instance, Brad and I may not have much time for anything romantic these days - we barely get to talk over dinner and we are too tired to cuddle on the couch but we have found a new love language. Words with Friends on the iphone. Anyone? Is anyone picking up what I am throwing down? I love submitting a killer word worth 45 points and then turning the lights off in our room and asking Brad if he had played his word yet. Bam! poor guy is too tired to beat me at night so I get to go to bed knowing I am the winner for the next 8 hours and it feels soooo good! (Words with friends is like scrabble on the iphone)

I have mommy brain right now and just lost track of any track I was on in this post. Just so you know - I am eating mini choclate chips out of the bag because I was needing a taste of chocolate. What is wrong with me? Who does that? If only I had another fatboy slim icecream sandwich! Am I pregnant? Choke. I l just choked and spit morsels all over the dogs head. No worries, no more babies here for a long while......just a minor chocolate craving being satisfied...that's all.

Happy Thursday! What a difference a day will make.....I love being on the top of the roller coaster today. Thank you, God, oh, and Modern Family.

Rollercoaster

Yesterday I put the best "me" forward and I admit, it was a pretty darn good day. I would make you sick if I told you how efficient/productive/positive I was throughout the day so I won't. Actually, I will. I need to look back on this on days like today and know that tomorrow will probably be different and better.
Yesterday I....
-Got up before the babies
-Got myself dressed and even wore my skinny jeans from last year (though I didn't feel/look very skinny)
-Made chocolate-banana muffins for my last mom-to-mom bible study for the season
-Dropped B off to the nursery with NO tears!
-Remembered my umbrella just in case
-Enjoyed a yummy brunch at bible study and had some much needed time with other women in my boat
-Taught Brooks the Itsy Bitsy spider pretty successfully
-Napped
-Cleaned up the house (which just means things are in their places)
-Made (scratch that - picked up) dinner for a friend
-Squeezed in an hour long walk
-Read a book to Brooks - 4 times over
-Read a chapter from my book
-Prayed for people I had said I would pray for
-And I ended the day with a tall beer on my sofa with a nice orange wedge on top. Perfect. Or pretty close to it....

I am sure there is more in there but those are some pretty high points I think. Oh, and I even made an apology phone call to my husband for being a whiny wife the last 3 months. So, I went to bed feeling pretty good about my day and my efficiency, but more so, my attitude all the while.

8 hours of sleep later and I'm racing down the hill on the roller coaster and all I can do is shut my eyes and throw my hands up. This has been one rough morning. I seriously will not write down the events of the morning because I may start crying again and there is no time for that....babies are tuning up to cry - I can just feel it coming.

Anyway, I guess that is how it goes, right? I hate that my attitude for the day is usually determined by the amount of time the boys spend with their eyes shut. It makes me feel like that "mom," always anxious for the next nap and the next ounce of serenity. I never want to be that mom but I also am not good at the other one - the one from yesterday except add a little make up and a home made dinner for my family and my friend. So, where is the in between? I know everyday can't look like yesterday and if every day were like today the birth rate would drop drastically. I dont really want to be on this roller coaster. In fact, I think some good ole monotony would do just fine right now.

Now that Ive had a few minutes to eat my pb&j (what ever happened to fancy lunches out?) I am feeling a little better about the no-good, terrible, awful morning and I have my sites set on a pretty afternoon outdoors. Aren't the leaves these days just amazing? Despite the ups and downs I am experiencing, I am calmed easily by just glancing outside and seeing an array of yellows and oranges. I love fall in Atlanta! Here's to a better afternoon...

3 month birthday

The first quarter is over and the grades are in and overall I am very pleased of the little guy's performance. Here are how things shaped up:
1) Sleep at night - A+
This kid reminded me that there is a God and he does love me and he loves for me to rest when at about 7 weeks he started sleeping though the night! William, we will always remember you as the baby that jumped over milestones and surprised us every other day with a new thing!
2) Sleep during the day - A-
This subject is tricky for you. At first you slept so much that you woke up for nothing and now you just like to be awake to watch me in my fury around the house while your brother sleeps. I don't blame you though - you have no "set" day and you pretty much just have to go where we go when we go whether or not you want to sleep.
3) Eating -A
Let's just say 14lbs. Nice work. Keep sucking those calories off your mother. She is grateful.
4) Spitting Up/Burping/Tooting/Blowing up the Diaper - A++
If there is a bodily function, you have mastered it. Way to go, my little noise machine!
5) Social skills - A
I know I am biased but you are about the friendliest baby on the block. Unfortunately, I think this is because you get so little undivided attention at home so even a glance from a stranger warrants a smile in your book. We need to work on the goofy smile followed by the "I have major indigestion" look but other than that - your social skills blow me away! (literally)
6) Sibling relationships - B
This is only a "B" because I know the kid can't be perfect in everything and I don't want to be that mom that thinks he is (though he is) so he could certainly learn how to stand up for himself a little bit when big brother smothers him with a kiss or uses him as a seat to watch tv
7) Hanging out on your belly -C
Yep, just like your eldest bro - you hate anything in the supine position! This just baffles me as I can't even think about sleep unless I am laying on my stomach with my hands under my head and pillow. Why do both of my offspring HATE being on their tummys and then end up worrying me to pieces with their oddly shaped heads? I even offered W some chocolate muffin last night by putting it under his chin while he had his "tummy time" but he wasn't having it! For the love.....please just give me a few minutes a day so I can atleast tell the pediatrician that I attempt to put you on your belly everyday.
8) Rolling over - B
2 weeks ago W had us all on our feet at my mom's house as he made his first rolling attempt. Admittedly, had this been Brooks we may have called the newspaper but poor W rolled from his belly to his back (out of hatred for the former) and I heard a clap from across the room and came running. Well, he made two rolls that night in honor of Uncle Carter's birthday and he hasn't thought about it since.....oh well, I can still say you are advanced on every level, right?
9) Showing us God's love for our family - A+++
You know I had to end with a little sappiness. Every day truly brings a little more clarity for me in this stage of raising young children. I wasn't able to conceive what this might look like....having two boys so close together and yes, the first few months have been the most challenging months of my life but I do get very small glimpses each day of God's story for me as a mom, and for my family. William has truly made me feel like a family. It's funny that I didn't feel this before with Brooks. He was a fun accessory and I loved taking him around town to eat lunch with me and to visit friends. Though my day looked different - it was still "my day" but I had a fun little person to share it with me. Enter William into the picture and now I am in a whole new ball game. There are usually only 17 minutes of quiet during the day and about an hour each night before B and I fall asleep on the couch at 930pm out of exhaustion. Everything is more difficult but also more rewarding! It is a huge feat just to get out the door and once we get somewhere we celebrate! My 17 minutes of quiet during the day are truly cherished and not taken for granted. I use them to refuel for the afternoon before B gets home from work. As challenging as this quarter has been - each day has brought me new perspective on my immediate and distant future. God obviously had it in mind that I would be a mom - and if I didn't believe it with one kid - He gave me another. And while I won't sign up for the Honda minivan just yet.....I am slowly embracing this calling and seeing this opportunity as a just that.....an opportunity to mold two little people and to raise them to be as whole and filled as they can be before they step out into this world that can easily break one down.

I am sooooooooooo glad to be out of the newborn days. I hated to wish them away but they were such a blur anyway...so I am now eager to enjoy these next 3 months of cuddle time with William. I pray right now that I can enjoy these days when they are both so little and not wish for the days when they are more independent. I think I'll go wake William up and just look at him. What a sweet reminder of God's love for me and His plan for my life. Happy 3 month birthday, little guy! This is where it starts getting fun......bring on the fun developments!

4 B's Field Trip to the "Zoo" (only better)

I spy a deer in the background. An annoying deer that kept trying to eat our Chick-Fil-A. Note to self: eat lunch first next time.
I was there, too, believe it or not....doing squats to feed the goat.
And W was there, too, he liked the donkey.
Like father, like son.
B liked to shove carrots in their mouth and sometimes nose.
This little boy will climb anything!
And loves play time with Brad. Which boy was slightly dizzy after this little game? Not the little one.

Rainy Monday

I love wearing rain boots and a rain jacket all day as if any moment the doors of the house might fling open and the waters come rushing in. Were that to happen - I am prepared! I may not be prepared for much else these days but give me a rainy day and I am ready! Rain boots are like no other boot to me - they must be worn for the rain or the chance of rain - not just on a whim. Cowboy boots? Maybe. You don't have to go jump on a horse to be able to wear cowboy boots around town but rain boots - no sir...for the rain only. And since it is 100% chance of rain in the Atlanta area the next two days we are sporting our rain gear and our optimistic smile! You see, a rainy day - let alone two in a row - for a stay at home mom is like a day of no internet at the office for some. It makes you want to pull your hair out and while the rain allows for many other productive things to occur, ie - folding laundry, cleaning the house, that is not at all what I want to do on a rainy day. Luckily this morning we got out in the rain just so this afternoon wouldn't be like a tornado on steroids at our house. We had some play time at the gym and then at our friend Caleb's house. Caleb's mama and I have decided long ago that Caleb and Brooks would be college roommates one day just after they back each other on the high school football team. They are both about as "boy" as you can get and at this age they enjoy hitting each other and pushing each other over but then sealing it with a sloppy kiss. Isn't it funny...kids this age really know nothing on their own more than what they can mimic? They will literally throw each other on the floor and then if I ask them to kiss or hug they do it without hesitation. Oh, to be a child again and hold no grudges and move past things so easily!

Other rainy day subjects - I have a new found love. Hello, FatBoy ice cream sandwiches! Last week I put a box of ice cream sandwiches in my grocery cart. This was one of those -"hmmm, I haven't had this in a long time...I wonder if I still like them" type of grabs at the grocery. Luckily, when I got to the check out counter I talked myself out of the frivolous purchase remembering that "oh, yeah, I am not pregnant anymore and I can not eat ice cream if I ever want my husband to think racy thoughts about me again." Four days later I am still thinking about the purchase that I had surpassed. So yesterday I found myself at the store again for the some essentials - milk and ice cream sandwiches. The box I selected advertised that they were only 100 calories and half the fat as the regular ice cream sandwich. Nice. I buy them happily and rush home so they don't melt. Just as the boys went down for a nap (because when Brad is home they nap at the same time but when I am by myself they stagger their naps. How thoughtful?) I burst into the freezer to pull out my new find! I was pleasantly surprised that the "Slim-Fatboy sandwiches" were soooo tasty! I was unpleasantly surprised to see that the only reason they are half the fat and calories is because they are literally, half the size! What? I hate false advertising but I hate it most when I am a sucker to it! Anyway, I guess I only need the 100 calorie treat anyway.....So once again today, boys go to sleep and I enjoyed every lick of my new favorite thing! This is why I ever had kids - so I could buy food for them to "try" knowing that ultimately, I would get to enjoy the food that I normally wouldn't buy. Last week I bought a box of Kix for Brooks. Brooks didn't ever eat one piece of the cereal and they are all gone. And that is how the story normally goes.

Pictures posted next of our field trip to the Yellow River Game Ranch. Like a Zoo....only better. Hold on to your hats....

Happy rainy Monday (and Tuesday per the weather man)!

Starting to see the forest through the trees

This morning in my mom bible study (that I am absolutely obsessed with) a lady spoke about her family which included her 7 children. Count them- SEVEN. And there are not seven kids because she couldn't afford birth control or because she was trying to pull some publicity stunt. She talked about how she was drowning when she had her second but how over that time she and her husband began to formulate their family "plan" and through scripture they knew that plan would include many kids. Not only does she have 7 children - she has 7 babies in heaven who never made it through a full term pregnancy. So that would make 14 pregnancies total. I was floored.
Here I am barely staying afloat with our two little ones. I mean, they are fed, and sometimes they are clean though every 3rd day I find a rare animal or toy underneath William's 3rd chin (so obviously I am feeding him well). For the most part they are healthy (I swear by breast feeding babies for as long as I can (*note* - this is just a reminder to myself for those days when I get weary and I am ready to have my body fully back to myself!)) and generally pretty happy (sans the last month of the teething monster). But - thriving??? I wouldn't necessarily say any of us are thriving, rather surviving. So just like any stage of life that we enter - it seems to be all that we will ever know. I remember laying awake many nights at the Terrace, the best home to 4 single girls in Atlanta, wondering if anyone would ever see the spark in me that I was quite sure I had....and that's not arrogant at all - I just wondered if another person would ever see the me that God created. I had gone out with several boys that liked pieces of me or liked my energy but they never seemed to "get" me. Enter Brad - stage Left. And, thank goodness, I didn't resolve to think that my stage of singleness was all I would ever know.
A
nd then I can easily recall the "ugly year" as I remember it - working five different jobs in one year all in hopes to find my golden ticket. Oddly enough, this year ended in me being pregnant for the first time so I guess somehow it lead me to my now "career." But still, that year I would drive home as the sun was going down from my seemingly perfect job down town just wondering when I would ever be in a place in my career where I felt like my gifts were truly used. So, now after 12 weeks I am starting to see the bigger picture. As I listened to this woman speak of her 7 children this morning I was truly humbled at my own view of my circumstances right now. My view is just that - a view all about me. When will I ever have a day to myself? When will I ever feel like I can actually teach my kids something rather than just change their diapers and make sure they are fed? When can Brad and I ever have time to dream about some of the things we want for our family? When do I get my energy back? (Does it ever come back?) Basically.....when will God show up and make this whole phase a little lighter....a little less to carry?

I am so thankful for my Tuesday morning bible study. I am so grateful to get to hear stories of women 3-20 years ahead of where we are in the game called Life. I am encouraged each week by their tenacity in parenting. These women take their role of being a mom and wife very seriously and they consider it the most noble thing to raise children. I certainly don't feel like there is anything noble about my days but I am given a glimpse of the forest each Tuesday....

Soon Brooks will not even need me to place the right shoe under the right foot and he'll be able to finish the songs we sing him at bed time before we get to the end. He won't need me to lift him out of the crib each morning and he certainly won't need me to use the bathroom. ANd while all of that sounds really freeing - I do understand that my light and momentary troubles right now are building on something far greater. It's just nice to have some other families ahead of me to see that it is all worth while.

On a similar but different note - we are going on 77 minutes of a quiet house. Oh, I am soooo favored today. And what have I done with my quiet time? Started to fold the 3 baskets of laundry? Cleaned the mashed banana off the floor? Sorted through the drawers and drawers of mail since June? NO, No, and NO! I have sat staring out the window, once again stifled by the silence. One day I'll learn how to actually get myself to work when the house is quiet. Yes, so much to do but the quiet is so rare........and so much more refreshing if I choose to do nothing!

And on another note - here are some pictures of the two boys. The objects in the pictures appear more innocent than they actually are on most occasions. Ha!
Brooks' First haircut. Surprisingly, he loved it! I am still a little weepy when I see that his baby-rat tail is gone. He's all grown up now!
William at 12 weeks. Whoa! Where did 12 weeks go?
Brotherly love.

Full circle

My friend is having her first baby maybe as I type...... if not already.....We are all so anxious to hear the news.

I am so giddy over this new life and the reminder of what this dear little life means to me personally. This baby girl reminds me that everything in Gods plan does come around - full circle in His own timing. My friends shared the story that many of you are familiar with - the story of infertility...or so they thought. My friend is the best friend to a new moms that you will ever meet and all the while she has had the longing to carry and give birth to her own child. When I found out we were pregnant unexpectedly with William I did the most shameful thing. I didn't trust God with my friends heart or her story. I was too embarrassed for a few days to tell anyone that we were yet again expecting a child but especially her for fear of enabling her disappointment in her own plan for children.

Nearly two months later after a very uplifting week away at a retreat my friend had come to the beautiful place in her heart that God would give her a child naturally, without resolving to science in the form of IVF. In this case, it wasn't that IVF was wrong - she just knew she was supposed to wait. I can remember the day on the phone. Brooks was napping, I was pregnant and living in Savannah. I walked around my front yard on the phone with my friend hearing the most peaceful voice I had heard in a long time. She knew our sweet Father would make her a mommy one day and she was okay to wait on Him. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait very long and was pregnant within a few weeks. What I can remember better is the day I ran into my friend on our usual walk in our new neighborhood in Atlanta. I had a feeling that something was different and before the words could come out of her mouth I was a hysterical mess. Tears of joy fell to the sidewalk. Joy for my friend and her husband that their prayers had been answered but also tears of repentance because though I had said that God had a plan for her - I didn't fully believe it myself......She had waited for so long and had been such a selfless servant to so many of her dear friends, including me, as we walked through our own pregnancies.....when was God going to come around for her? This is where my view of God was so wrong. I wouldn't have labeled it as such at the time but it is clear - I had aquaited God's blessings with our behavior and my view had failed me. If my sweet friends behavior had been so perfect - so trusting - even during her time of sorrow then why hadn't God provided for her? My heart aches to think of my misunderstanding of grace at the time. But thankfully, God also had me in mind when he created this little girl. He knew that I, too, would get to experience His grace just as my friends did just by witnessing His perfect timing for a blessing in the form of a baby girl.

I am so elated that today they finally get to meet their baby girl that has been the desire of their hearts for so long. More so, I am so thankful that God allowed me and so many others to experience His perfect timing in bringing them a child at the most perfect time. I truly believe He does come around full circle....it's just in His own time - which is the time He can receive the most glory and praise for what He has done.

Happy Birthday, baby girl! Your life already has so much purpose and has already been used greatly. What a way to come into the world......

hangman

_t'_ qu_ _ t

I am scared to fully write the phrase that is dancing in my head right now for fear that once it is spoken or written it will no longer be true. For this very moment, it is true and the thought alone is rejuvenating! All of a sudden the burning that has lived behind my eyes this week and the soreness that has taken over my muscles is gone and I feel like my old self....lively, energetic, and ready to tackle anything!

I actually have other things that run through my head other than children themed thoughts and though I keep writing sentences that only relate to napping, pooping, and other such things that embody my day - I have deleted every one of them in attempt to truly savor my qu__t time at my house and think and talk about anything but juvenile subjects. I never thought this would be a challenge but I guess this is reality.....

So, let's talk about the other fascinating things in our world for a little bit.

Brad's beard.

It's back and I couldn't be happier. Brad, I know you stopped reading the "family" blog because you were tired of hearing about the craziness of our day twice - once by reading and then again in person but you should read this one because I'm talking about you. I am seriously attracted to the boy underneath the beard. Never in my school girl dreams did I picture myself snuggling with a grizzly man (good thing I didn't because that would have been odd for a school girl) but I now know I was missing out. I love the confidence that seems to come with just a little hair on your face. Granted, your goodbye kiss this morning may have exfoliated my dry skin for a month but I suffer the discomfort just to get to look at the new husband that has lived at our house all week. Your beard screams "I take charge", and "I may be a banker but I don't care" and "You wish you knew me better." Which, that is what you are going for right? Anyway, please this time let the beard hang around a little while longer than it's first debut. I'll tell you when we are ready for a change but for now we like your manly-makeover. We feel safe and protected when your around. {Did this make anyone feel uncomfortable reading? I hope not, that was certainly not the intention.}

In other news.........Never mind, the qu__t has already ended and my wild thoughts suddenly went out the door. Back to diapers, naps, Bob the builder, ideas on discipline, and all the other fun stuff that has overtaken me these days. But I sure did enjoy the few minutes while it lasted........

The worst thing I know

Hello, Misses Negative, right? Is that what you are thinking? I could write about how much I love the fall and all of it's holidays and the time for family and the things that smell nice in the fall....apple pie, pumpkin spice lattes, tailgates, and fires burning. I love the smell of fall! Or I could write about how much fun Brad and I had trick-or-treating. Didn't you know we had kids so I could eat snacks all day long and Brad could trick or treat?Those two things make the hard work of children worth it....promise. Or I could write about how happy I am to not be pregnant and to be turning 30 in a few months. It is true....I am excited about 30 and all the wisdom that will come on that splendid day....so I am told.

(Dont be fooled......Brad was a happy trick or treater but the little guys smile didn't last too long....not even with the lure of chocolate)
But instead I am going to go there. I will now write about the-most-horrible-thing-I-have-yet-to-experience. It starts with a "T" and ends with "MISERABLE." In the middle you will find these seemingly small white pieces of bone in your toddlers mouth.

Just to give you a taste of how awful our experience with teething has been - here are a few of the other worst things I know. Then take the awfulness of these few examples and compound them together and times them by 8 and you almost have the misery of my teething toddler.

So, a few terrible things -
1) INSOMNIA. Yes, this was by far the lowest season of my 29 years. Lonely, frustrating, and exhausting. But yes, teething has been worse and much more exhausting.
2) My fluffy dog throwing up in the middle of the night and then me - at 30 weeks pregnant - stepping in it on the way to one of the many middle of the night potty trips. Awesome. Yet, teething has this one beat, too.
3) A big ole nasty cockroach falling off our ceiling this past winter and falling on my husbands face. Thank goodness it was his face and not mine or this may have been worse than teething but the memory alone is just plain horrid.
4) Losing to the Florida Gators in overtime in Jacksonville after an attempt at a come back last weekend. I just don't like Florida and it really has nothing to do with football - as I am not that silly to have a ruined day over football - but more so over the way the loss of that one football game always ruined a great few days at the beach during my college years. Still....teething is so much worse than the Florida Gators.
5) Changing 6 yucky diapers all before 10am is no fun at all but the little boy who is screaming up stairs in his crib because of this monster called teething is even yuckier.

There you have it. Teething stinks. For several of my friends who are not yet in the baby stage of life let me draw this out for you. For over a year I have fallen for this little person that mimicks what I do and say and every few minutes flashes me his precious toothless grin. I didn't mind the toothless grin and I would have been fine with his old man smile for 5 more years. This same person that follows me around all day making me laugh and smile also takes naps....or used to. I admit - naps are God's gift to moms. I used to take naps for granted. I thought all little people napped and all moms had 2-3 hours a day of selfish/"me" time to search for unnecessary things on the internet or to write thank you notes or look up recipes (or lets get real - check out facebook and other such educational sites). Well ever since this devil entered our house naps are a rarity and giggles are held out for night time when daddy gets home (and seemingly, when "teething" seems to have gone away). This once amusing little person now throws his milk at my forehead for no reason, Screams "MaMa" in the car so loud that the other little person gets all upset and cries real tears, throws himself on the slate floor and bangs his head repeatedly, crawls into a ball in his crib when I come to get him in the mornings and continues to cry with his mouth open so wide he could seriously grip a tennis ball, and oh, by the way - doesn't nap. To add to it all, the poor thing can't talk in the first place. I couldn't imagine being in the worst pain I know throughout the day and night and not being able to complain to Brad or my mom - the two people that care or have made me think they do over the years. So this little persons only mode of communication is crying. This type of crying is the best kind too.......wide mouthed, high pitched, annoyingly sounded, and just all together disturbing. It's the kind of cry that unfortunately doesn't draw too much sympathy from a crowd.....rather, it's the one that has the strangers walking by and shaking their heads while thinking - "thank goodness that isn't my child." This cry is the best birth control you'll ever take.

Anyway, we are so nap and sleep deprived over here that no one makes any sense anymore. Everyone told me raising two babies would be demanding. There's no shortage of things to take care of at any given moment and honestly I could handle this role with much more grace were I just given 20 minutes of quiet time. That's all. TWENTY. But ever since the teething goblin hit our house there truly aren't 20 minutes. What used to be quiet now consists of fits, crying, pouting, and screaming. I just can't believe that a little person can have so much frustration and anger in his little body.

So, please, little teeth....pop through! Let's get this over with. I want my fun toddler back. I miss his smile and his belly-laughs. I miss my few minutes of quiet and the refreshing that comes with just a little tiny "me" time. I miss sleeping in until a whopping 7am. I miss the learning that was happening all day that has now given way to throwing ourselves against the wall and the floor every 5 minutes. I want my favorite little boy back, please! Off to get my helmet and knee pads on to handle the rest of the afternoon with the non--napping, teething little man......this should be exciting.....

Everything has a place now

Oh y'all, I have never been so happy with myself and my husband for that matter. For some reason we started cleaning out the drawers in the house yesterday. It took all day and I spent much of the afternoon today finishing the project. I am happy that we finished something that we started. I am happy that everything now has a home - from the pictures from college, to Brad's random bird feathers from his hunting days, to the batteries for the remote control. Please come to my house and ask me where my scissors might be located? Or better yet, do you have a letter opener? Sure we do! I never knew we did but we do and now that I know I want some letters to open!

Really since last fall when we were living abroad (aka The Coast) and we then found out we were soon to care for another child - things have not been in there right place. Yes, the things in the house have been out of sorts just like other things - bigger things - like our dreams, goals, time for each other, and our ability to see the big picture. I can finally say with much certainty that things are looking up. Brad and I have started to dream together again. We had our first date night since the baby was born last week. And now we know where paper and pens are so we can actually right some goals on paper. We've never been too big on goals. As you can tell, we just tend to let things happen. I like life that way and luckily so does Brad but as THIRTY nears we do need to have a little direction or else I will truly be the old woman who lived in a shoe. Yes, some planning is a must!

So, expect a little more from me this fall. Maybe a few "projects" with the kids. maybe a little organizing my addresses, recipes and the library of magazines I have collected for a year now! Oh, and I WILL finally get to the baby books and picture albums that I once started and have yet to pick back up. ANd I am talking about our wedding album first. Yes, pathetic! Trust me, we weren't thinking there would be two mostly precious-sometimes-rambuncious little boys to interrupt these many projects we once started but rest assured - we are getting back on our feet. Get this - Brad and I have actually been reading books at night while the boys snooze. If anything screams normalcy and calm than reading a book is it!

Okay, two more drawers of love letters Brad and I have given to each other of the few years to sort through - and only about 10 more minutes of nap time......

Oh, happy happy day when everything is in it's perfect place.