Thankful that someone always knows better

We moved into this house early this past Spring. We went from nearly 2400 square feet to maybe 1400 and then preceded to add another person to the share the roof. So as you can imagine the man whom I reside with gets a little cookoo occasionally over the most peculiar things. Atleast once a month he pleads with me to remove the lineup of baby toys that sit atop the fireplace in the sun room. The sun room is certainly everyone's favorite room of the house. We spend 90% of our waking hours in this room playing and snuggling. It is especially perfect when it is raining outside. You see, Brad works 10 hours a day so what he doesn't see are the blocks being stacked and knocked down, the books being read over and over and over, and the diaper changing that goes on in this room. All of the toys sit on top of a large quilt that Brad's grandmother made for him as a young boy. The quilt is so soft and has so much character - I hate to have it as a fireplace protector but it gives the "toy room" a little warmth and coziness. Just a few weeks ago Brad almost won me over - again pleading to remove anything and everything Fisher Price along with my foam mats and "fireplace protector" so he could feel like our lives aren't being taken over by little people. Newsflash: they have been....no fighting that one.

Thank goodness the mom in me didn't give into the wife in me in this instance. I just knew that I found these ugly black pads At garage sale for a steal for a reason and though the cosy fireplace cushioning completely hides the pretty fire place I went with my gut and told "Mr. I like to rearrange things on the weekends when I am needing a task to accomplish" that the play/relax/watch tv/napping room would stay just as it was....a play room first. After all, we do spend much of our day in this 10 by 20 foot space.

Tonight I was trying to come up with something edible for dinner in the kitchen when I heard the most horrific scream to date coming from the play room - followed by a gasp from Brad. My stomach fell to my toes and I ran in the other room to see the largest, purplest goose egg on the poor toddlers forehead. He did as he always does when he needs consoling - he laid his head on my shoulder and tucked his hands under his belly and in between mine and he just cried. Fortunately, we watched him for a little while and he seemed to be fine - reaching for the bubble machine two minutes later and then protesting for a "nack" of gummy bears before he went to bed.....all very normal. As I was in the shower I said a short prayer of thanks for our Protector protecting our baby from what could have been a terrible accident tonight. I am sure there are going to be many scares like this in the future but for tonight I am so thankful that I knew better than to remove that sweet blanket a few weeks ago. I guess our plan to take a Christmas photo tomorrow for our Christmas card may have to include a little photo shop work???

And while I may have known better than to trust that the wobbly 18 month old would not have any falls in the playroom - which isn't so playful....slate floors and a fire place.....I am so thankful tonight, too, that someone bigger knew what was best for me this year.

I can remember just a few months ago - just weeks after William was born - talking to Brad one night, or sobbing rather, about how I felt that we had messed up somewhere. Everything for a little while was truly a mess over here.....the house, my car, the bills, the laundry but mostly, my heart. Two babies just seemed unbearable and for a short while and I really did question God's timing for our family. I couldn't have imagined God using even a crumb of our story at the time. I was a wreck from my bout with insomnia. Brad was trying to hold the affairs of the house together while maintaining a high-stress job and picking up many of the night feedings. Brooks was growing teeth and adjusting to his new "normal" so he was just a tantrum waiting to happen and any help we had from grandparents was certainly worn thin by that point. Oh gosh, I am soooo glad those newborn days are over! I feel guilty saying that because I know I can't get them back but I can be honest here - those days were some of our worst. Thankfully, a few months into this and my heart has had a huge makeover. I have much more of a handle on the events of the day. The big-little man may give me some tests of character but that is usually attributed to the lack of his basic needs - food and sleep.

After I put Brooks to bed tonight I had some one on one time with the little-little man (though he isn't little at all). Y'all....it has happened. I am absolutely smitten for this little guy. He truly is the happiest human I've ever met. He smiles so big he gags himself sometimes and all he wants back is just a glance in his direction. His chubby cheeks aren't just chubby they are all-consuming. You can barely see his eyes half of the time and not because they aren't big and wonderful but because his cheeks have taken over his whole face. I know it's only been a few weeks but I truly couldn't imagine my life without "brother."

God on this eve of thanksgiving - my most favorite day of the year, my heart is so very full. Yes, my immediate family is healthy, both of our boys are growing, Brad has a job and we live in the greatest country in the world but more than all of those huge blessings - I am cared for by a God who knows me and always knows what is better. Thank you, God, for knowing just what my hardened heart needed this year - yet another baby. Thank you, William, for so innocently but in a weird way - knowing that your goofy smile and chubby cheeks and thighs are all I need to know for certain that there is someone else who knows best.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends. Just when I thought I couldn't love anymore my heart grew bigger.....