The worst thing I know

Hello, Misses Negative, right? Is that what you are thinking? I could write about how much I love the fall and all of it's holidays and the time for family and the things that smell nice in the fall....apple pie, pumpkin spice lattes, tailgates, and fires burning. I love the smell of fall! Or I could write about how much fun Brad and I had trick-or-treating. Didn't you know we had kids so I could eat snacks all day long and Brad could trick or treat?Those two things make the hard work of children worth it....promise. Or I could write about how happy I am to not be pregnant and to be turning 30 in a few months. It is true....I am excited about 30 and all the wisdom that will come on that splendid day....so I am told.

(Dont be fooled......Brad was a happy trick or treater but the little guys smile didn't last too long....not even with the lure of chocolate)
But instead I am going to go there. I will now write about the-most-horrible-thing-I-have-yet-to-experience. It starts with a "T" and ends with "MISERABLE." In the middle you will find these seemingly small white pieces of bone in your toddlers mouth.

Just to give you a taste of how awful our experience with teething has been - here are a few of the other worst things I know. Then take the awfulness of these few examples and compound them together and times them by 8 and you almost have the misery of my teething toddler.

So, a few terrible things -
1) INSOMNIA. Yes, this was by far the lowest season of my 29 years. Lonely, frustrating, and exhausting. But yes, teething has been worse and much more exhausting.
2) My fluffy dog throwing up in the middle of the night and then me - at 30 weeks pregnant - stepping in it on the way to one of the many middle of the night potty trips. Awesome. Yet, teething has this one beat, too.
3) A big ole nasty cockroach falling off our ceiling this past winter and falling on my husbands face. Thank goodness it was his face and not mine or this may have been worse than teething but the memory alone is just plain horrid.
4) Losing to the Florida Gators in overtime in Jacksonville after an attempt at a come back last weekend. I just don't like Florida and it really has nothing to do with football - as I am not that silly to have a ruined day over football - but more so over the way the loss of that one football game always ruined a great few days at the beach during my college years. Still....teething is so much worse than the Florida Gators.
5) Changing 6 yucky diapers all before 10am is no fun at all but the little boy who is screaming up stairs in his crib because of this monster called teething is even yuckier.

There you have it. Teething stinks. For several of my friends who are not yet in the baby stage of life let me draw this out for you. For over a year I have fallen for this little person that mimicks what I do and say and every few minutes flashes me his precious toothless grin. I didn't mind the toothless grin and I would have been fine with his old man smile for 5 more years. This same person that follows me around all day making me laugh and smile also takes naps....or used to. I admit - naps are God's gift to moms. I used to take naps for granted. I thought all little people napped and all moms had 2-3 hours a day of selfish/"me" time to search for unnecessary things on the internet or to write thank you notes or look up recipes (or lets get real - check out facebook and other such educational sites). Well ever since this devil entered our house naps are a rarity and giggles are held out for night time when daddy gets home (and seemingly, when "teething" seems to have gone away). This once amusing little person now throws his milk at my forehead for no reason, Screams "MaMa" in the car so loud that the other little person gets all upset and cries real tears, throws himself on the slate floor and bangs his head repeatedly, crawls into a ball in his crib when I come to get him in the mornings and continues to cry with his mouth open so wide he could seriously grip a tennis ball, and oh, by the way - doesn't nap. To add to it all, the poor thing can't talk in the first place. I couldn't imagine being in the worst pain I know throughout the day and night and not being able to complain to Brad or my mom - the two people that care or have made me think they do over the years. So this little persons only mode of communication is crying. This type of crying is the best kind too.......wide mouthed, high pitched, annoyingly sounded, and just all together disturbing. It's the kind of cry that unfortunately doesn't draw too much sympathy from a crowd.....rather, it's the one that has the strangers walking by and shaking their heads while thinking - "thank goodness that isn't my child." This cry is the best birth control you'll ever take.

Anyway, we are so nap and sleep deprived over here that no one makes any sense anymore. Everyone told me raising two babies would be demanding. There's no shortage of things to take care of at any given moment and honestly I could handle this role with much more grace were I just given 20 minutes of quiet time. That's all. TWENTY. But ever since the teething goblin hit our house there truly aren't 20 minutes. What used to be quiet now consists of fits, crying, pouting, and screaming. I just can't believe that a little person can have so much frustration and anger in his little body.

So, please, little teeth....pop through! Let's get this over with. I want my fun toddler back. I miss his smile and his belly-laughs. I miss my few minutes of quiet and the refreshing that comes with just a little tiny "me" time. I miss sleeping in until a whopping 7am. I miss the learning that was happening all day that has now given way to throwing ourselves against the wall and the floor every 5 minutes. I want my favorite little boy back, please! Off to get my helmet and knee pads on to handle the rest of the afternoon with the non--napping, teething little man......this should be exciting.....