I can't help but share this with 'you"..whoever 'you' are....

This is the beautifully humbling post from a friend of mine's mother who has been writing over the last year to keep us updated on her daughter's dimishing mental and physical health. Her daughter is my age or slightly younger. Too young to experience such a loss but all the more hopeful than anyone I have ever known. I am reminded of the fraility and beauty that this life on earth offers me everytime I get to read her update. Let this touch you.

30 February 22, 2008 at 04:18 PM EST
It has been a quiet week. I read to Megan quite a bit. I love to read out loud and Megan is my captive audience - I think she loves it even if dozing. Sometimes she laughs and I read on - sometimes she cries and I get the message and quit. We see a slow steady decline of abilities, but do believe she is more beautiful than ever!

About this time last year, Megan wrote in her journal “Oooh Lord, to have the confidence to be able to serve and love you with no hesitation and few worries – oh, I long for that! Oh, Lord, I pray at this very moment that you would be growing me into who you would have me to be - at this very moment you would prepare me for that and I would be amazed at your perfect plan for my life – and thankful. God, I so wish I knew how you worked but since I don’t, help me to love and trust you like never before. Thank you for the blessings in my life – help me to see them as blessings.”

And then Megan’s forgetfulness began to increase. Her handwriting began to falter, her frustrations increased with her own ability to function at her normal speed. As a teacher, she kept her sense of humor and allowed her kindergartners to sign the lunch count as she realized some days she could not form the letters. She said, “You should see their eyes light up when they realize they are writers!” She took it upon her herself to get to her doctor and have a check-up. Normal and healthy, just stressed, said the doctor. So she ratcheted back her schedule. But the symptoms increased and she became more and more frustrated, but still trusting and thankful. Being young and healthy kept us all from being overly concerned. Looking back one year, her positive spirit and seemingly good physical health was one of those disguised blessings that probably masked the invisible culprit of deadly activity building momentum, hidden in her bright and beautiful mind, starting it’s march to destruction. It was a blessing that kept her spirits up as she tried to get well. Her journaling gave her strength. She talked to the Lord throughout - while she could write – trusting and loving the One who cared for her. She was in fact as I look back “able to serve and love God with no hesitation and few worries” as her journal read.

I believe that God protected Megan from knowing that her life was about to take a major turn – a turn that would alter her plans for 2007 - a major blessing. Every doctor gave her hope through the progression of stages. Each one fell in love with the joy and enthusiasm she was able to bring to every appointment, always smiling, trusting, and thanking them for their help, always hoping they would find the answer to her mysterious troubles.

And they did….and here we are…..one year later…..trying to be brave like Megan, trying to trust and “love and serve with no hesitation and few worries”. God in his mercy protected Megan from the pain of knowing her disease or its prognosis. He has allowed us that knowledge and watches to see what we do with it. In our shock and hurt, we do not suffer alone. That is what the cross of Christ teaches us – and I am learning as I go.

Henri Nouwen writes “When John beheld the broken Christ on the cross, he saw blood and water coming from Christ’s side (John 19:34). And we too perceive a gift flowing that gave life and that will give life to us. We will suffer, and suffer with one another, but in doing so we will uncover nothing less that the presence of a God whose consolation keeps us going.” He goes on to say “Pain suffered alone feels very different from pain suffered alongside another. Even when the pain stays, we know how great the difference if another draws close, if another shares with us in it. This kind of comfort comes most fully and powerfully visible in the Incarnation, wherein God comes into our midst – into our lives – to remind us “I am with you at all times and in all places.”
Thank you for drawing close - God is with us.