But now we've come to the end of the road

I can literally feel my 10 year old heart thumping so hard as I recall pulling away from our typical-Florida, 4-sided brick, one level home on that sunny Saturday in December.

For weeks I refused to unpack the tall boxes in my new extra large room in Marietta, complete with my own bathroom and walk in closet. We used to drive up to Georgia during my early childhoods years for holidays and visits and I loved Georgia...to visit. I thought the girls in Georgia were all pretty....all of them. I didn't understand why everyone didn't have a pool in their backyard. And I seemed to be the only one wearing my newest shirt from Disney or Hard Rock Cafe on our many visits. As much as I hate to say it now - I absolutely loved growing up in Florida on the water. We spent every single weekend out on the boat - hopping islands that were only accessible by boat, picnicking, learning to bait our own hooks, and hearing stories from my dad of those wretched trolls that lived under the bridges in deep water. On the weekends that we didn't hit the water - we were on Spaceship earth at Epcot or riding the tea-saucers at the Magic Kingdom. Sadly, we had been to the amusement parks (thanks to the FL resident passes) so many times we couldn't begin to count and for Floridians (or atleast Catholic families with too many young kids to know what else to do) you went to Disney or went to the beach on the weekend and that was normal life. This certainly made for a phenomenal childhood. I can taste the strawberry cream drip down my throat if I close my eyes long enough and picture the Mickey ice-cream cone with strawberry ice-cream and graham cracker cut outs that I just had to have each visit.

Anyway, mid-way through 5th grade we moved back to Marietta where I was born and for a 10 year old - that was devastation. Ahhhhh.......Just writing a hair about these pre-teen years makes me want to dedicate a whole new blog about the past seasons - from childhood, to high school (skip in between there), to college, and on to my single days in Atlanta.....I have such fond memories of each. To a fault, I do a very good job of living in the past and literally reliving moments and feelings from past seasons all day long in my head. But this wasn't one of those memories. This was the most sadness I had known to date and I was fine just being sad for a long time. I listened to Boys II Mens', "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" over and over and concluded to be miserable the rest of my life as long as I was away from my neighbor Allison, my 5 "boyfriends", the horses we rode on the weekend at a local barn, and the unforgettable weekends on the water.

So I've obviously moved several more times since then and each time I am a little more numbed by the experience. I remember after the 4 years in Athens thinking that the end would just be unbearable. The end came and we were left to clean our indescribably putrid refrigerator before we moved out our of our beloved town home and somehow that experience alone eased us right out into the real world with minimal tears regarding the most amazing season to date. Then when Brad and I left the condo just 6 months ago I was just in a fog. I woke up one morning, went to work out, came home and my stuff was in boxes. Brad and I went to get our favorite ice-cream after lunch and we came home to an empty condo. This move was the hardest since that dreaded move to the Peach state nearly 20 years prior. It really wasn't until Brad and I were taking pictures off the wall the night before the movers came that we realized all of the wonderful "just-us (and Amos)" memories we had made in those 1300 square feet. That's always how it happens, right? You fully realize the joy (and pain) you've experienced as you see a chapter come to an end?

Well, this move 273 miles north has just been odd. We started packing the day after we found out we were leaving but in our heads I don't think either of us really thought it was happening. Life has been coming at us so fast these last two years and I guess our coping mechanism has just been to keep pushing on - rather than to stop and really see if there is any feeling regarding these cards we've been dealt. We had high hopes for Savannah. No, not because of the oyster roasts, and the drive by the water every time we leave our house and not because of the green beer in March. We just knew in making this crazy decision that God had something big and unfathomable for our family. Had you asked me three weeks ago what that big something was I may have laughed and had some sarcastic remark. I'm sorry. Today I can tell you confidently that God did big things with our family here in a very short time and I know there is still more to come.
1) We've learned to slow down and actually enjoy down time and sometimes even (gulp) a boring night or two.
2) We know for certain that a community of friends who seem to want the same things in life - a life that stands for something and overall - brings glory to God - are SO vital. We have craved that community feeling for several months now.
3) But we have also seen God truly bring us to our knees over several things that were so unexpected in these few months. I would redo even January (which in my head goes down as the worst month of the 300+ months I've known on this earth. Yes, that bad. Sick, tired, lonely, confused, sick, cold, and sick from yet another surprise pregnancy) just to feel like I do today - humbled. I've truly been brought to my knees and fully reminded that I am absolutely not in control and I don't want to be. Some of the most powerful words I've ever heard my husband say are these very same words. Thank you, God, for breaking us here.
4) We've learned to prioritize our family of 3.5+fluffy dog before anything else. Before my family (ouch, really hard lesson), Brad's family, work, opportunities, you name it......our little family is first and it feels good to know that and not just say it for once.
5) We are anxious to have that settled/not going anywhere for awhile feeling back in Atlanta. We both finally realized that having roots and some stability isn't always that boring. Bring on the "normal" please!
6) We like to play tennis together.
7) There is nothing in Atlanta or Savannah or anywhere beyond as entertaining as watching your own child learn about the world. We have loved getting to spend so much time with Brooks as he learns about boats and stars and trucks and grass and the moss in the trees. I love watching his inquisitive eyes scope the scenery around us just to take it all in.

8) We like to meet for lunch. It feels like a spontaneous date when I get to see Brad in the middle of the day. I like to get a peek into his big people world and he likes to talk human-to me to make sure I don't go insane by the end of the day and start calling him "da-da".
9) We miss Mexican food and good Tex-Mex. Atlanta has alot of this and we can't wait to get back and go overboard on hitting up all of our old favorites. Bring on the heartburn, too!
10) Islands are a dark place to live with zero street lights and the glow of a cuty but there are no words to describe the stars at night. I am sure we won't get a glimpse like we've seen here for a long time so we will soak it up for a few more nights!

I am sure there are more things that we will take with us (including how to pack the craziest shaped objects perfectly in a box -thanks to my personal professional mover Brad) but I know that the biggest morale's of this story probably won't come to us for many years when we really need them to make yet another decision or to pull us through in some way. Of course I'd love to tell you we followed our hearts, made millions, feel like rockstars, are in the best shape since high school, and couldn't be more happy and though there were some really good parts of our adventure I think we both could say we are coming home a little beaten up and worn down but ready to inhale and rest and be settled. We would both say, too, that we feel closer to our Father in Heaven than we have in a long time and that is worth every lonely, sick, seemingly purposeless day.