We've learned some tough lessons lately. I won't go into the big life lessons Brad and I have painfully been accepting involving career decisions, employer contracts, autonomy in the workplace, and the worst of all - budgeting stuff. Yuck yuck yuck.
I'll tell you about the more obvious ones that have invaded our home this week and seemingly taken up much of our time and all of my Lysol. The first of a many painful lessons this week began Sunday afternoon. We were sad to not be in Atlanta at a certain someone's neighborhood SuperBowl party. We wanted to eat pigs n' blankets and 7 layer dip and drink an adult beverage or too (not me, unfortunately) and talk about the commercials with other friends - many of whom are recent parents. Instead we were here trying to soak up one of our last weekends on the coast. So instead of pouting our lip out at each other and thus, receiving no sympathy whatsoever (because Brooks didn't seem to mind that it was just us 3 once again) I hopped over to Publix with all the other last minute party throwers and I grabbed our own most-amazing-Super Bowl-party supplies...or really, what was left on the shelf. I came home and made some home made pigs n blankets and some chicken chili. Just as every attempt-to-be-thrifty (and lazy) woman would do I roasted the chicken for two meals: the chili and enchiladas for the next night. I'll speed this up....Brad ate some of my chicken as I was bathing Brooks....the chicken I purposefully didn't cook all the way through because of the extra cooking that would occur in the above dishes. Fast forward: 330am. Chili in toilet. 430am Pigs n blankets in toilet. 530 am. Trip to the toilet. 630am - let's go have another party on the toilet. Poor poor Brad. I babied him all day and brought him gatorade. I called the doctor and even offered to call his boss as if he was in elementary school and needed a note from mom.
YUCKY LESSON #1: Don't touch your wife's food! She has plans in her head and may have poisoned something on accident so always ask. Always! Usually this principle applies to the uncooked cookie dough that mysteriously disappears before the oven has preheated. I'll admit - I am flattered that the mister of the house enjoys my culinary skills and I sort of like that he always wants a sneak peak but my advise would be to wait for the dinner bell unless you want to hang out with Mr. Commode all night. No fun.
Well, the following three days were just as unpleasant and personally, much more disgusting but fortunately involved the little man and not the big man. Bath time comes about 7 every night and right before we love our naked time. If I can find a way to video these 10 minutes without exposing the babies man parts all over the internet I would because it is good entertainment. Brad was out of commission Monday night, and at a work event Tuesday night. So as I was multi tasking - getting bottles ready, cleaning baby boogers off the crib sheets, running bath water, and having naked baby play time. Somewhere between cleaning a bottle and throwing away a diaper the little guy -2 nights in a row- pulled himself up on his dad's leather chair and literally proudfully dropped a surprise on the floor. I am temtped to say he was nothing but "sh*@'s and giggles" but that sounds so crass. It is the perfect depiction of the scene though. Luckily, I only unknowingly stepped in this surprise one of two nights, much to my sons amusement. You'd think I'd have learned from day 3 that little boys pee all day long, they poop as soon as you open the diaper, and they are instantly interested in what's behind the barn door. But no, nearly 9 months later I still think I can un-diaper the fine fellow and he will behave as every civilized human would. Not so much.
YUCKY LESSON #2: You are dumb, mom! I WILL drop a bomb the moment you take off my diaper even if I just did the same things in the diaper 3 minutes prior! Don't be fooled by my innocent smile and cute little baby-butt cheeks.
That's enough for now. I'm grossed out and I know this is only the beginning of the gross things a baby boy and a grown husband will teach me over the years. I'll leave you with a few sugar and spice type images so you don't go to bed thinking icky thoughts about us. Here is Brooks with his South GA grandparents and his new cousin Max who was born a week ago today! I am biased I know but he is truly a cute infant. I would admit that even Brooks looked a little scary in the first hours of life but this 10lb2oz hunk is a heart breaker! Unfortunately, Brooks wanted him to wrassle and he was too tired from the whole birth thing. Isn't he so yummy?
Yes, my redhead is yummy too with baby Max.
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