No owners manual included

Last week was one of those weeks that will never be forgotten. Every minute - day and night - carried so much weight for our family. Yes, one of our children spent much of the week in the hospital and in and out of the pediatrician's office so of course our senses were heightened and we were hanging on the news of each moment - but more than that - we were each wondering if our family of four could go any longer. Sickness had plagued our family last week and while one of us was certainly far worse than the other three, the rest of us weren't playing with close to a full deck of cards in the first place. But God is good.

While there was no major repercussions of the week other than some steroids and possible breathing treatments in the future, the week held so many long terms effects on our family and I am so grateful. A few months ago I remember writing in my journal that I wanted a grateful heart. It sounds silly but I remember knowing that I had so many things to feel thankful for but not really feeling thankful. But as I walked back in to our laundry-ridden, germ infested, messy house last Thursday my heart was so full and so thankful to be home. For the first time in awhile I actually feel grateful for even the raspy cough of the 2 year old - as it proves the progress he has made. I am even grateful for the 5 feet of clean laundry that needs to be folded because it means I have several people in my inner circle that love me and like to change clothes alot. Ha ha. I am more grateful for a selfless, optimistic, consistent husband than I have ever been in the last 3+ years. We were truly forced to be a team this week and our marriage feels so good because of it....you know what I mean - it feels so good when it is the way it is supposed to be - a partnership. And lastly, this week I felt like the shepherd and protector of two boys and my heart just overflows because of this. Most days I feel like a mom - feeding, helping, dressing, correcting, encouraging but this week I feel like so much more than just a mom. I feel like we are truly the sculptors (on earth) of our children's hearts. We are truly the hands and feet of Jesus to them - showing them love that we can only give because it was first given to us.

Excuse the sappiness.

Anyway, there was no google search that I could have done to have gotten me through this week. There was no parenting for dummies and certainly no owners manual. We were truly forced to unplug from anything society tells you to go to when you need a lift or an answer. I laid awake on the hospital bed next to my crying son at 344am Tuesday morning and there was not one thing in that moment that could have comforted me or calmed my confusion but just uttering the word, Jesus, over and over. I had nothing left in me to fight or to keep me optimistic. We had come into this week as a family already in repair from my battle with insomnia and Brad's battle with his sub par health (just cold type stuff, nothing severe) and for the first time in a long while - I didn't even have the strength to pray. Luckily, I knew there were so many others praying for us even when we couldn't. But other than prayer and a little glue to hold Brad and I together there was nothing else that could give us the answers we needed this week. Again, my heart is grateful for the gift of prayer and for the many people that pray when they say they are going to. There were so many instances this week when someone would text or call and say they were on their knees at that very moment and then in the same moment we would take a step forward - oxygen levels came up or IV fluids were stopped or a doctor gave us hope of a trip home soon.

Today is 150% better than yesterday which was 150% better than the day before. We have many days of feeling kind of puny - all of us - but I can see each day being a little better. I'll give you a few pictures backwards. You can tell by this first picture that obviously, Brooks was feeling a little better this morning as he was back to lining things up. And yes, you can tell mommy doesn't care what is used to occupy him - a dozen cookies did the trick!
The littlest (but maybe biggest?) person of the house really missed the harassing of his brother {but learned how cool a sippy cup is after 8 months of a bottle!}
Poor little guy. I took a picture after 14 hours of continuous crying. I have never been more thankful, too, for a sleeping child!
I thought Brooks would be giggling to get to go home but he only wanted to go home if it was to "grandma or Nene's house" as he kept repeating. Kids are funny.
And just because this smile got me through the week - I'll leave you with it. Enjoy!