I need to whine. Or smoke pot.

I have never done either but a morning like today affords me the right to both. I'll refrain from the latter so I never have to tell my kids that I have actually tried it before. So, here is a little justified whine.

And to think - 3 hours ago this was going to be a beautiful post about a beautiful weekend away by myself. My how one year olds change things! We'll go backwards in order of events just for fun.

Brooks is currently bloody-murder screaming in his crib even though A) his dad says he didn't cry one tear the whole weekend he had him while I was away and B) he was literally giggling as I tickled his feet with his eyes closed on the way from our disastrous date in hopes to drift off to a nap. Why why why, Mr. B? You are exhausted. Your mama is exhausted. Just give in to the good feelings and go-to-sleep!

Before the screaming came the stinky-stinky diaper that the child had crawled in for too long because the nursery accidentally used Brooks' diapers on other kids thus leaving us with ZERO. {So, Brooks is cut a little slack for the following behavioral mishaps.}

We left our terrible-awful date at the mall and had to drive around the parking lot 3 times and re-enter the mall twice in search of my phone. No luck so on top of this horrendous morning - I am phoneless. Normally I would care more but I right now I just don't.

Prior to realizing my phone was wondering about Perimeter mall Brooks had an all out on the ground kicking his feet screaming fit in baby gap because he wanted to crawl around (in his poopy diaper) rather than let his 6 month pregnant mother hold him or ride in the $5 stroller that you will soon learn about. This was the kind where everyone watches and then thinks they should give you advise on how to handle your screaming baby. Thank you, crowd.

But before we even got to baby Gap for some much needed pajamas for the ever-growing child we had to purchase the $5 stroller/race car because mom forgot the stroller. Who carries cash these days? Not I. So we walk all around the mall trying to find an ATM - only to find two that were broken. After 40 minutes of carrying the bowling ball - to which I should have just continued to do - we find the one working atm and we are so graciously charged $6 just to take the $20 out in order to buy the $5 stroller that Brooks sat in for 4 minutes. This is the same stroller that at first glanced thrilled the little man but within only a few minutes of "racing" through the mall - he didn't want to have anything to do with it and went into screaming/kicking fit numero uno.

Numero dos came at chick fil a as we tried to gather our marbles. The usually good eater didn't want cheese, yogurt, chicken nuggets, fries, ice-cream, fries dipped in honey....you name it - he wanted to crawl around the food court and push the $5 race car - not ride in it and certainly not eat.

There's more to whine about including but not limited to
-Brooks pushing the cup of ice-cream (aka-bribery) into the diaper bag. Thank you.
-ripping down an entire row of baby onsie's in the Gap while mom wasn't watching
-Dropping an entire sweet tea down my front side as I tried to hold the bowling ball and his luggage and search for the stupid ATM all to drive the stupid car
-And now - a baby who despite being so tired is not asleep whatsoever AND a missing phone.

I quit. My weekend was AMAZING and I drove the 5 hours home from Charleston thinking about wonderful things including how great and patient of a mom I would be when I got to get home to my little guy. I decided that 24 hours away - all to myself - with some of my favorite girls was just what the doctor had ordered. I was even so excited about our "date" to the mall today to stay out of the rain. And I even thought forgetting the stroller wasn't the end of the world because I had the patience of Job and an angel for a child.

I've been fooled. Even a weekend away doesn't make my day job any easier! But I will say I handled all this with a little grace up until now so thank you for letting me whine. And would someone please call my phone and let me know where it might have run off to? I guess I should have stopped the tazmanian devil known as my offspring from throwing the phone across Gap but it was keeping him quiet and now I am paying for being a push over. I'm done today and done whining. Check back tomorrow for a more enjoyable post that might bring joy and enlightenment to your day rather than a bunch of whining!