To my three faithful readers, I apologize. If you were hoping for something light and refreshing whenever you click to see what our little family is up to you just didn't get it this week so far but luckily I have a few days to redeem myself.
I was so anxious for Brooks' morning nap today so I could sit and repent and find the gratitude that I normally would say embodies my every thought. The rascal isn't asleep but I am enjoying listening to his babbling from his crib. I wonder what he is talking about? I have never had a monitor since Brooks was an itty-bitty and though at times I think it would be so much easier to just glance over at a video monitor and see that he is sound asleep or rather just searching around his room for something to learn - I love getting to walk into his room to check on him and seeing him {usually} peacefully asleep in some crazy position. Last night I came into the precious scene below. The funny thing is I had to turn on all of the lights to get the photo and the sleepy-head didn't even budge though I know if I were to sneeze right now he'd start crying and wondering why I had left him alone! There is just something about that night time deep sleep that the baby enjoys that is so peaceful to me. Thank you, God, for refreshing his little mind and body at night and preparing him for another day of learning and play.
Yes, his pj's we bought him on Monday during the famed "awful trip to the mall" are already to short on little guys chunky legs. I'll learn one day that pajamas need to be 2 sizes bigger and they must be a constant line item in the budget!Anyway, yesterday my stinky attitude prevailed and got the best of me so last night a dear friend and I headed out AFTER a HUGE Cinco de Mayo meal for a peaceful walk around the neighborhood. It was just the dogs and us and the cool air. No traffic, or missed appointments, or runny noses, or temper tantrums (all the seeming hassles of the day that really I wouldn't trade for anything). Just us - and our pregnant bellies and our dogs and some much needed quiet time. I came home feeling much better about the little things that have seemed to get to me this week but also very remorseful for my yucky perspective.
It's all how you look at things. Everything can either be a blessing or a nuisance. Everything. If I didn't constantly have Brooks' running nose to follow around - what would I really do with my free time? If my precious (and well-intentioned) husband didn't love the little booger so much and want to throw him around the house right before bed time then I'd probably be like so many moms- truly doing this job alone. If I weren't so steadily gaining these ugly "lbs" then my sweet baby wouldn't be growing as he should and I am sure he wouldn't be quite as cozy.
Often I let the things of the world get to me and that is when my perspective totally changes. Yet I know a day spent with a grateful heart is so much more pleasing to me, our Heavenly Father, and everyone around me. A grateful heart is intoxicating and for some reason this week I just haven't been focusing on the blessing behind the "hassle."
After the walk last night I read about a mom of two girls who has been dealing with potentially tragic news of her health. You may have seen these blogs already and if not I am sure you know others in similar situations. Another mother I read about recently has already lost her battle here on earth. My heart was so broken last night over these two families but more so, over my own sin, selfishness, and lack of gratitude. I know our faith is truly put to test when we are faced with circumstances such as these but what about the other times? What about the other 90% of the time where despite living in a fallen, sinful world - things really are pretty good? Family's are healthy, my husband is employed and has a great job and we have 1.5 very healthy baby boys and today I am not facing a serious life-threatening illness. There is so much more I could name but I would think those should be more than enough for me. Why with such blessings and I so able to often focus on the small hassles or things that aren't just right? I know that God in His omnipotence could surely do what He needed to do to "snap me" back into a grateful heart and thankfully He doesn't work that way. He wants me to have a grateful heart because He knows it brings the most glory to Him. A grateful heart is contagious. A heart of gratitude is also the very place where I can feel closest to God. Luckily, last night He used these two women, two strangers, to show me my lack of perspective - my lack of gratitude for today....because things today are really very good and even if tomorrow things are different - God is still God and His plans are good and I know my heart will still feel better if it is grateful for even the little things and the really big things - like health.
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Colossians 2:6-7 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
God, I want to overflow with thankfulness.
No comments:
Post a Comment