Pray not to miss THIS!

Last year I told you about one of my favorite friends and moms who gave me some of the best advise regarding motherhood that I have heard. She told me what an experienced mom and friend had told her. Pray not to miss it, she told me. Pray at night when I was up feeding all alone in the early days to not miss the sweetness of a hungry newborn that can only be nurtured by his mother. Pray, in the wee hours of the morning when the little one decides to start the day early, not to miss the play time in our pajamas as the sun come up. And, yesterday I found myself praying not to miss this sweet and fading time with just Brooks. Trust me, there are many times throughout the day that I dream about the free time I used to have to do exactly as I pleased. Goodness, what in the world did I do with my time? What did I think about in the car when I wasn't singing songs about frogs and farm animals to a one year old? But yesterday was one of those perfect mommy-baby days where somehow I was truly able to be in the moment and soak in our precious time together...just the two of us.
Brooks and I ventured to the duck pond behind Christ the King Cathedral on Peachtree. We chased the ducks. I chased Brooks who just wanted to swim with the ducks and then we waved goodbye for about 12 minutes since this is the little man's latest trick. Dear God, help me not to miss this moment as Brooks reaches up for my hand without looking...knowing that my hand is there when he needs it to get through his wobbly steps. Allow me to be fully present right here in the 96 degree weather with a stomach that I can't see over. Seriously, God, help me to capture this moment and stow it away.





After a short nap Brooks took me on a date to Chastain Park for the Chastain Chill. Every Tuesday afternoon in the summer a one man band plays great tunes and we were one of several mommy-kiddo pairs that packed our pic-nic yesterday and enjoyed the park, a lurking thunder shower, and some easy summer tunes. At one point (after stealing another 14 month olds goldfish and sippy cup) Brooks climbed into my lap and grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers unknowingly as we listened to a little Eagles tune on the guitar. Oh God, please allow me to be fully present in this exact moment. Block my mind from going anywhere else but right here, with Brooks, and no phone, and nobody else.

(I'll never get tired of these hints of curls in the back of Brooks' hair. The poor boy can't walk from the house to the car without turning red from the heat and losing any sort of structure to his hair. I love a hot and happy little boy!)


(The best photo you can get when you are on a date with a one year old)

God who loves me so much more than I can begin to comprehend (and this is so evidenced by this sweet time with Brooks and this disguised gift of a new baby on the way) please help me to remember exactly what Brooks sounded like the 20 minutes or so before his afternoon nap. He has been babbling to himself now for nearly 30 minutes but I know that is his way of easing into sleep. Oh gosh, how I adore those little boy sounds all in a row. People have said that Brooks is reserved and cautious. I can see that but he certainly has his moments and I love that they are when he is all alone, happy from the day, and ready for a little relaxation. I really don't care if he never falls asleep when I get to sit downstairs and hear the little man talk through his thoughts from the day.

Lastly, how I pray that I won't ever miss the perfect taste of my daily half sweet-half unsweet, $1.08 iced tea with lemon from Micky D's. Husband, it isn't my ebay habits you need to fret over. It is my daily indulgence. And I wonder why this baby moves all night long???? It's called LARGE TEA, mama! Oh yes, back to the blog at hand....God, I pray that I don't miss even those somersaults that Brooks' brother does all night long. Literally....all night long. (Oh don't worry little baby.....I won't ever forget this behavior and you certainly do not give me time to miss these movements. Thank you.)

Uh oh, baby, we won!

I have a weird addiction to contests. I discovered ebay this past Spring as I was stroller hunting for a stroller to handle the two kiddos. I also don't read directions or follow rules necessarily. So I started bidding on items that I wanted. Whether I really wanted them or just sort of thought it'd be cool to have a new Tory Burch tote or unique pair of Nike 360's - I bid on things. After all, all you are doing is hitting SUBMIT and who knows what that means or if these items really exist. Don't hate me. I am sure if you are an ebayer for life and you have actually found a way to profit from this huge mecca of crazy people who sell and buy anything......I'm talking anything.....porcelain figurines to bolts for a door to designer handbags to husbands (yes, I've seen this) then you hate that I would take this platform so lightly.

Well, as it goes, i have never won a thing. And though I never really really wanted to win meaning I had to pay for the fleeting object of my affection - I came home one day in a hissy over my losing streak. I turned to the all-wise-one, the one who is calm and steady and would never submit a bid on a whim to anything, the one who often thinks my stunts are crazy and a little too dramatic.....and I asked him for answers. He tells me that I will never win unless I am the last bidder. You see, I was bidding and then 5 minutes later losing so going back to bid again - 6 times in a row only to end up frustrated all the while the price of any said object had now tripled. Well, husbands news was actually fuel for me. If I'll never win then I'll just keep bidding on things because it makes me feel something that I crave feeling. I can't tell you what it is exactly because it may be a little petrifying to you and to me......I think I just like the control of being able to pick and choose items that I want/need and then forgetting about them. I don't know. It's weird. Anyway, I've now probably bid on a 100 items that I never thought twice about after my initial bid.

Until Monday night.

We are watching the bachelorette as every married couple should do because it will make you really grateful for your normal, non song writing on the whim, non tatooing his arm out of love husband. 7 minutes til 10pm and I have a little freak out. I sort of recall hitting SUMBIT on a new double jogging stroller that you know I have been eyeing for months now and begging anyone who wants to be generous for no reason to purchase on our behalf. No such luck there but it doesn't matter because in ebay world - I own about 11 of these strollers.....I just never actually see them or pay for them. Until Monday. I quickly logged on to ebay and saw the most thrilling and terrifying thing I may have ever seen. YOU ARE CURRENTLY THE HIGH BIDDER. Yes, and a clock with red flashing numbers slowly ticking it's way to "0". Oh &^*%, oh &#&^@&^%, oh no, I exclaimed! "Honey, sugar, sweetheart.....I think we are about to be the owners of a new double stroller." Sweet, how much is it, darling wife?

Uh oh, baby inside of me, we just won you a stroller! The clock hit 0 and instantly I got a pretty cool email telling me I had won. I shrieked and jumped up and down. I NEVER win. What a good feeling! Then, following the first joy-giving email i get one right away asking for payment for my winnings. What? How do you win and have to pay? Of course I turned to the same constant, wise, steady husband and asked him how I won when he said that I would never win. I trusted him. Once again - he lead me down a dangerous path and I trusted him. (Of course this is all his fault, right?)

Anyway, I am still the winner and I have still yet to pay. I will today but in the mean time I literally am finding things to cash in to pay for my premature purchase of a double stroller, really several months before we will need one. I know we will get great use out of the double stroller as we use our single stroller almost every single day for a walk around the neighborhood and though I think the thought of pushing 100 lbs around the hills of our neighborhood sounds less than appetizing - the thought of the cellulite on the back of my legs is more un-appetizing and therefore I will stare at our new "win" every day until I can get out and start melting away these extra pounds of yogurt, mochi, and late night "2nd dinners."

And until I actually submit the payment for the overpriced stroller - I do feel like quite a winner! I don't feel as good as bringing home the cheese on wheels from the garage sale last week because that was actually a steal but I do feel good. I mean, honey, husband, handsome stud - I did save us money by spending it because it wasn't full price as you may have expected I would pay for a shiny, new stroller. You can thank me later. I know you will thank me come the fall when my daily walks with two little ones and a tractor for a stroller begins to melt away my yummy baby weight and any baby blues that might have resulted from sitting in a house all day without a cool double stroller.

You're welcome, husband.

I'll take a cup of those, please

If you've journeyed along side of us for even a short amount of time you will know my obsession, no infatuation, no.....about my "disease" called Mochi-itis. It began last year on one of our many walks from the condo down Peachtree to wherever our hearts would lead. 9 times out of 10 it lead us to the hip fro-yo shop at the Terminus building. Who doesn't love to exercise their way to the ice-cream store? This fascination grew for the little heavenly mochi pieces that typically adorn a heaping bowl of yogurt but unfortunately our 6 month stint in Savannah left us craving our favorite little snack nightly. For such a touristy town, you would expect fro-you shops on every corner but we weren't able to find one that carried our beloved topping. Alas, we move back to our home sweet home and we have waited for nearly 4 months now for Yoforia to open around the corner. I have driven by everyday noting the progress of the build and for the longest while there was little to no activity. All of a sudden on my daily drive by Friday I notice several cute little girls in bright green shirts waving passer-bys and stalkers like myself into the newly-wide-open doors! Hooooooraaaaay! I partly wanted to boycott the local establishment because they had kept me in such agony for so long....taunting me with news of their opening and then worse, hanging a gleaming sign with no indication of an opening day. But I am not that stubborn. At the end of the day - mochi always wins.

So the good and bad news is that this little gem of a store on Dresden Road is S-E-L-F-S-E-R-V-I-C-E. Say it out loud, people.....SELF SERVICE! Oh goodness, I LOVE the control this puts in my little yogurt craving hands. I love to spoon my own toppings and if I want I love to add just 2 M$M's.....just because I can! So my new haven opened Friday and, yes, we have been thrice. One of my trips I did the unthinkable. I pretty much got a cup of mochi with a topping of yogurt. I hope the bright green colored workers notice my beach ball of a belly when ringing up my crazy concoction. I am sure, were I not 33 weeks pregnant that I wouldn't so boldly steal half of the mochi from the topping bar but you just don't mess with a waddling lady and her attached-to-her-leg-one-year-old.

I would love to tell you about the rest of the weekend because as it is one of our last few unbooked weekends as a family of 3 - it really was quite splendid. But as I said earlier, the mochi has taken over and that is the only memory that prevails from the weekend. Now I am sitting here trying to plot my next journey. Maybe I should walk the mile this time and partake in my little indulgence. Then it's a wash, right? Or maybe we could have a yogurt lunch today? I'll add some strawberries and mango for a little nutrients for the little growing one inside. Perfect. Done.

A few other things we have been up to this past week aside from turning into a big, plump mochi ball......
1) Brooks visited with his first love, Ella. She was wooed by Brooks' wheels and not by his moves. If we could have sent the Crazy Coupe back to Nantucket with her - we would have......she loved it much more than seeing her (much shorter)predestined boyfriend.

2) We also had a fun time playing with our buddy, Caleb, twice this past week! Caleb is three weeks older but he reminds me of Brooks' older mentor.....always learning, always on the go, always exploring. I love seeing these two together because their personalities are so different but they love to play and swim together! (P.S. - grandmas.....Brooks has asked for a Radio Flyer wagon with a canopy ever since this inaugural ride in Caleb's-caddy)

3) Friday night we went to a neighborhood pool with our precious neighbors and their THREE girls! I feel a little dorky telling you it was the most fun I have had in a long time. It was everything a Friday night should be....laid back, full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cold adult drinks for those not a big as a house (which was only me), and fun conversation with an adorable family! I'd never thought about how fun it would be to have neighbors that you love and that are in the same stage of life as you. Every night when their three girls are down and Brooks is finally quiet we seem to meet in the street to throw the ball to our first children, the dogs. I hope they don't think I am stalking them but I really look forward to this adult time every night!

4)We had dinner with many of our favorite friends this last weekend....and of course we went to get yogurt afterwards.....duh!

5)Oh, and how could I forget - I bought a 3 X 3 foot piece of cheese on wheels.

The end.

Yes, the above picture was my find at a local garage sale and i can't tell you the pride I feel even today over my not-so-little "find." Yes, we are supposed to be cleaning out and making room for a baby but how could I not bring this thing home? There were 8 people waiting in a line to see if I would actually pick up my purchase, just hoping they may be able to get their hands on it for their little ones at home. Nope. I don't care if I ever go to a garage sale again.....this was the coolest (atleast in this moment) garage sale item that has ever graced a garage sale and I feel like the winner that I am for finding this one of a kind school bus. Amos is scared of it, Brad thinks I am nuts, and Brooks likes to climb on it like a chair but I KNOW there will come a day when my whole family will thank me for being so frugal and so thoughtful as I roam the streets of Buckhead on my Saturday mornings just looking for things to clutter our house. Your welcome, family.

We need a little more excitement than this

Thank you to my 4 faithful readers for casting your opinion on our 2nd child. Seriously, we appreciate your apparent interest as this little gymnast in my belly has certainly already been afflicted with the 2nd child syndrome and there is nothing I can do to keep if from happening

Dear little one,
You are set to rock our world in less than two months. I can tell that you know the time is drawing near as you turn once every time we mention you (properly calling you Baby #2 still) and you turn twice every time I mention your brother or say his name. I say his name quite often throughout the day as that is just the stage we are in so I know you are developing some strong quadriceps and calf muscles. I hope you give me such movement at the mention of your big brothers name because you can't wait to get out and learn from him and entertain him here in about 8 months ( I am really hoping for this as I am about done entertaining these days.....I'll get a second wind, don't worry!) I do hope that is the reason for all the fuss rather than any jealous feelings that may have already developed.

Yes, you are the 2nd child and yes, we just did this whole she-bang a year ago but I promise you this - I don't remember anything! Therefore, every whimper and funny noise will be new again. The shock of a newborn diaper (yucko) and the smell of spit up don't even come to mind when I mention them. Once again, every single thing will be new to us again! I honestly couldn't begin to recall what we do with a newborn in the first 8 weeks. How much fun are we going to have relearning with you? We'll even have your 14 month old brother to help out by bringing you shoes I am sure because he likes everyone's shoes. He will also throw your 12-14 dirty diapers a day (I do remember that fact) in the diaper genie and anything else that he deems as dirty. He has gotten amazingly good at this lately. Oh, and he loves to find the hidden bottles that I rehide every evening.....he is an expert at locating bottles so you will never go hungry, little one.

On a more serious note, I know we don't seem to dote over you just yet but I promise it doesn't mean that there will be any lack of love once you make your appearance. You probably don't even know the difference but I go to bed guilty almost every night because of the lack of "hooplah" that has come your way. It's not just your dad and I but really, everyone else that knows you are coming. I can see how 2nd children have a hard task from day one - to pave their own way. Your brother steals so much of the show these days as he is into everything and learns a new trick everyday. People in the mall or the grocery usually make no comment about your home - my growing belly - but rather, take to playing with the curious one year old that will always be your big brother and best friend. I promise you, booger, when you are here - our hearts will melt for you in the very same way but in a very different way as well. Other mama's of more than one kid tell me that my heart will expand and I will love you like I have never loved anyone before because it will be a different kind of love - but the same in a sense. Did I just confuse you?

Anyway, yes, we have yet to decide on the perfect name and no, we have not washed any newborn clothes or even put together a crib but that has no bearing on the fact that we know you are perfect for our family. Your dad and I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and, sweet boy, though right now I feel like an emotional, exhausted, confused mama of two-to-be, I know that my heart is just getting ready to expand to allow plenty of room for you. I promise (and now I am in tears again)! Your birth will truly be one of the biggest tests of my faith that I have ever experienced as I do not feel adequate to be a mother again right now. I feel out of control and I lack confidence in my ability to handle what is about to happen. Fortunately, for you, I knew several years ago that the same God who thought of you, and is growing you now, and has a plan for you - even as you grow - stole my heart when He asked me to follow Him. As you'll learn so quickly, it is often not the easiest to follow Him, especially when nothing in your life seems to be as you thought it might be but I have learned that those are the times when He is doing something so big and beautiful. Your brother was just as much a surprise to us (like I said, you'll learn - we are a little unplanned around here) and ever since the moment he joined our family of two and a dog I couldn't imagine life without him. I trust in God's crazy plan for me and though I may seem unshaky in there - as I know you hear the tears and the yawns - I am certain that God knew what He was doing when he formed you. He knew your life - all 3.5 lbs of it so far - would effect me even from the moment you were made. You haven't even shown us your hair color yet but you have already caused me to seek comfort in our God like I never have before. Thank you, sweet boy.

I'm reading these words out loud to you now so you can hear them and keep them close to your forming heart. These next several weeks are so pivotal for us all. You are fattening up so you can be happy and warm when you get out of there. Dad is getting his look-good-naked workouts in as he says he'll probably not get to go to the gym for 8 months once you come. He is so crazy! Brooks and I are enjoying our seemingly easy days right now and trying to get a little bit of color on our cheeks because tan and fat is always cuter than super-white and fat and yes, baby, you have made me large in places that have never been large! Amos is going through a little withdrawal but he'll be fine once he sees how much fun it is to chase two boys around!

Enjoy your last 7 weeks! Mom's little home for you is not going to be occupied for a very very long time so make sure you soak it all up! These may be your first and last McDonald's snack sized McFlurry's because once you come we are all on the look-good-naked diet!

Truly,
Mom

Other 2 faithful readers: we need your excitement here so let us know what you think!
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Convicting

Ironically, I read this quote on a distant friend's facebook status update. Needless to say, I couldn't turn the computer on the rest of the day. The baby is asleep early today so I am off to enjoy the back deck and some much anticipated quiet time to myself. Thank you, friend, for the perfect little nudge yesterday.

One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time
John Piper

Happy 29th and 2nd Fathers Day to the dad's in our lives!

It's only 11am and we have already celebrated my dad with a low country boil with the WHOLE family (big deal around here) and some family game time (which is always entertaining). More so, we have enjoyed a morning of quiet as Mr. Brooks stayed quietly in his bed until nearly 8:30 - Brad says this was the best Father's Day gift he could imagine and we have had an inaugural-Dad's day walk around the neighborhood...this was Brad's idea - not mine! At this rate, we will all be in bed by 7:30 tonight but it is all worth it....to have two men in my life who are wonderful examples of daddy's to me and Brooks!

So, no sappy post here but rather, a few of my favorite memories from years past.....

This Father


made me the most happy on my wedding day nearly 3 years ago when he told me how proud he was that I was marrying such an honorable man. I couldn't look at him at all during his toast the night of the rehearsal because I think I knew how he felt and I also knew that if he tried to express it we'd both just end up a teary mess. He held it together more than I but I will never ever forget the way he made me feel on that special day. Maybe he was just happy to finally have me off the payroll but I am pretty sure it was much more than that! What a perfect memory!

This same man also made my childhood sublime. I guess I consider childhood as the years we lived in Tampa, Florida until I was almost 11. Every weekend was spent learning to fish on the boat or enjoying a pic-nic on a secluded island that only boaters could access. On the rare weekend we weren't out fishing on Tampa Bay we were exploring the many theme parks in Orlando. I can't even count the trips to Sea World and Disney World in our 5 years of living in Florida. My dad would get us all in the Spaceship Earth (you know, the Epcot Ball) and he could repeat every word the commentator would say through out the ride. I have yet to go back to Disney and at times I don't think I want to because I have such a magical feeling from our many many trips as a family almost 20 years ago. I'm afraid everything wouldn't be as big or as bright but I do hope to one day give the same experience to our kiddos. Though I just can't comprehend how my dad was able to give us such sweet childhood memories, maintain a more than 35 year marriage and work a very demanding job....and there were 4 of us, not 2! Kudos to you daddy....

And that very same man also is an amazing "Big". That's right, after only a year of filling the role as a grandad he seems to have it down. I can only imagine the fun the boys will have chasing "Big" on the golf course or better yet, trying to run over him in a game of basketball (because in his mid-50's he still plays EVERY Sunday!) I love whenever I am at the house and Big and Brooks sneak away outside for some man time. I am not sure what they talk about but Brooks seems to come back more confident and happy after each trip.

Now on to this dad......



Wow, I really couldn't begin to write a sweet post about how much I have enjoyed watching you become a father. I am so humbled when I think about the example you have set in only a year. This dad is patient, thoughtful, selfless, generous, and never complains about all that is on his plate right now. Most of all, he is easy going and he makes loving him very easy. I never knew I could feel so proud to hear the little man exclaim "da-da-da-da" every afternoon when Brad comes in the door. He claps his hands, opens his arms and gives a little shreak before clumsily running over to Brad's knees. I could replay this scene over and over again all day long and it would never get old and never stop making me smile. I love watching the boys bond in their own-very-non-mommy-bonding way.....they wrestle on the bed before bath time and it is my 2nd favorite time of each day. Then, Brooks gets his daddy's full attention everyinight when he sings him songs on the way up to bed and prays with him. Brad always comes down several minutes later than what I would expect and he is always secretive about the conversations they had before bed. It excites me to get to watch Brad be a dad to two boys this year! If only they can watch him and take note of the way he treats people, stress, difficult situations, and a cold beer or two - and they will truly be what a classic gentleman should be. Brad, these two boys are so lucky to have you to look up to. I know the responsibility seems great at times but I can already see the reward is far greater.

My favorite memories with you include our countless walks around Historic Brookhaven sometimes with tears, sometimes with ice cream, most times with a furry dog, sometimes with a baby and sometimes with a baby and a baby growing. I love this time to get to talk and dream together and I hope no matter how many little people come our way that we always will make the time to dream together and to pursue eachother. I do believe that the best thing you can give your kiddos as a father, is a solid relationship with your wife. It is so rare these days for kids to have a selfless partnership in marriage to look up to.

P.S. - I am happy to say that you are officially my favorite person to walk with! Not many people join these ranks as I have been known to burn some wholes in some shoes on a leisurely walk but you truly are the only man I know that can make power-walking look so dang good!

Happy Father's Day, daddy, and Brad!

Why?

does the one year old like to place his cheek on the floor whether it's the kitchen, a restaurant, or the hallway in the middle of Lenox mall?

do I always want just a little more than the 100 calorie bag has to offer?

do hang nails hurt so dang bad but they are so dang little?

does that same one year old make this old man/toothless grin face throughout the day?



does Chick-fil-A never taste as good in the mall food court?

does that very same one year old think it's best to do his business right after I put the non-disposable swim diaper on him for an afternoon at the "club" on our deck? ANd why isn't Brad ever home when he does this?

do I wake up every single morning laying on my back (which isn't the best when you are growing a baby) and touch my seemingly flatter stomach (due to the way I am laying) and literally smile that I am not pregnant anymore? Every-single-morning!

does the very same stinky, smiley, head on the floor baby get such a kick out of hanging out in "his" cabinet?

don't good/available-on-weekend babysitter's grow on my tree in the front yard? And if they did why don't they offer a half-price deal when your one child is asleep the whole time? I am even willing for a babysitter to bring her boyfriend to kiss on my couch while we are away all the while the baby is sound asleep.

is this little guy inside so much more active than Mr. B ever was in there? Is this a sign of things to come?

hasn't that same one year old turned into a monkey after all of the bananas he intakes? And why does he choose to suck the banana like a bottle? Lack of teeth I assume.

is the double Bob stroller so stinkin expensive?

And you are probably thinking "why does she never put clothes on that kid?" The only answer I have for you is that it is Hot-hot-hot-hot (sung in the tune of song number 13 of 31 from the Music class. Yes, we are up to 4 times already and still have 5 days to complete our homework!)

I look forward to your answers.

our little Bohemian

Brooks and I are in the driveway in the car. Me - catching up on some business (aka updating the blog). Brooks - zonked out! We just came back from our first music class for the summer. Here are some adequate statements to sum up the 50 minutes of chaos and a few photos that I had to sneak.
*The teacher, Kim, would make a wonderful hippy grandma (not to mention that she has quite the bosoms that Brooks did lay his head on....twice!)
*Brooks likes to flirt with the little babies and steal their pacifiers
*Never again am I allowed to bring his sippy cup in to class. Literally, I was asked to not bring such a distraction.
*12 one year olds in a circle doesn't last very long
*As this was really our first structured play time - I've concluded Brooks is a 5 on a scale of 1-10. George is a 10 and most of the other babies were a 3. George ran around the room stealing everyone's toys and screaming like a gorilla for the entire 50 minutes. Brooks was entertained to say the least.
*Mom's can't wear dresses because we are expected to act a little more rambunctious than we would want the kiddos to act. Moms get in trouble if they don't participate (though I did....32 weeks pregnant and in a dress)
*Babies want other babies same toy even if they already have two in their hands.
*We were given homework to listen to the 31 songs atleast 7 times before class next week. Guess what we get to do tonight Brad?
*Brooks may not be a singer like his mama but he sure likes to dance....even when the other kids are sitting down in mommy's lap
*12 little ones missing their morning nap makes for a delirious bunch after about 30 minutes of craziness!
*Lastly, the goal, as teacher Kim would say, is not for the barely talking babies to be able to sing the songs by the end of the summer but rather, "We just want them to feel the music. Live the music!" Thanks, Bohemian-leader, we are certainly feeling the music!
{How do I turn pictures and videos? Sorry!}

Too hot

I won't complain because I wished this upon me. Maybe not the extra 20 pounds and the itching but the warmer weather was certainly on the top of my wish list a few months ago. So without complaining I'll just tell you that it is hot and because it is so hot we have no motivation for anything over here. If you stop by our house this week we will probably A) be in our underwear B) have already eaten ice cream by 9am (this may or may not be due to the heat but rather to the hormones) and C) spent the morning on the porch in our luxurious pool. Come see us! (We'll put on clothes, I promise)

But because it is so stinkin hot and we have little motivation for anything - there will be a small update for a rather large weekend. Our nephew, Max, was baptized in South Georgia this weekend. He is just the cutest, smiliest little guy and such a flirt! I didn't get a picture because I was chasing the one year old around the church but when the preacher sprinkled Max with the baptismal water - he gave him the cutest "how could you not baptize me" grin I'd ever seen. Max wore Brad's baptism gown from nearly 30 years ago and it was just so special. The 100 degree temperatures didn't keep him in the gown long but he was such a trooper none the less. We had a great, quick trip and now we are officially home until our family size increases in August. I'll warn you now - you may want to just check back in August because I have a feeling I am going to be a roller coaster of emotions these next 8 weeks. One moment I am so ready to see my toes again that I would do anything to go into labor NOW - and the very next minute I hyperventilate thinking about another baby (whom we have done NOTHING to prepare for....I mean NOTHING!) Today I am going through our unused things to see what I can see on ebay. I'm normally not so resourceful but right now we just aren't in a place to go outfit a room and a new ride (aka stroller) for the baby so I am going to see if I can make a little side money in my spare time - meaning nap time! Wish me luck. My prediction is that I quit by tomorrow afternoon because it seems like too much of a hassle for too little reward but let's be optimistic and maybe I can atleast get rid of a few things that are just taking up space in our house that has been invaded by Little Tykes and Fisher Price.

And because pictures are better than words here are a few from the weekend. Just so you can mark this weekend in your calendars - Brooks made some major developments this weekend. I couldn't tell you exactly what happened but his personality came alive this weekend and his curiosity exploded. Brad and I really love watching this little man as he processes the world around him. On the way home from South Georgia we were asking the thing you should never ask - " Would you change things if you could?" Meaning, if you were really honest with yourself would you take back this past year in order to be married without kids a little longer? We were both wanting a date night last night after an exhausting weekend so I was very tempted to say that I could have used some more time being just married and while it's true - I looked back at the little guy who happens to be a spitting image of me as a baby and I started to feel the tears coming. Brooks has added so much to my life and he truly does bring me so much more joy than I deserve for what I put into this little guy. Children call me to be selfless like I've never known and they make me realize how selfish I really am but - goodness, I never knew you could enjoy something so much! God's grace is alive even in this seemingly monotonous role! Thank you, Brooks, for your constant entertainment and mostly, for allowing me to taste life at it's fullest!

Afternoons at the "club" with dad....{My boys may need a little sun on their legs but they sure are cute!}

My favorite book that only has 4 words but I like to read it over and over and over again
And at the real club with Nise
And late afternoons in the front yard. Why slide when you can push the slide over - over and over and over again!
Yes, we really are in our "underwear" quite often around here!
Look at dad and I in Plains for Max's baptism. We had to put our play clothes on because it was sooo hot!
And of course I had to have a picture with me and mom. This is me hitting her over and over and over again. She'll think twice about bringing another baby into our house next time!

Let the Game begin!

http://www.expectnet.com/games/BrooksBabyBroBday

This was too much fun last year to follow along as our friends and family weighed in our Brooks' birth stats so we thought we'd play again with little bro.

Dinner to the guess that comes closest (though it may be several months down the road before you can enjoy your winnings!)

Thanks for always encouraging us and standing beside us even if you think we are crazy! Cast your vote here.

The word I didn't think I was saying yet

But obviously I say it all the time.
"No, no."
Tuesday while exploring my mom's house Brooks walked to the door and shook his head and said, "No, no." Just like that. Not a one time "no" but "no, no," the exact way I have realized I say the little phrase.

I really didn't think Brooks was at the age that I was having to say this that often and really anytime I say it I try to think of another way of deterring the strong willed little boy without always having to say those words. The boy is 12.5 months not 2, keep in mind. Innocence is supposed to last atleast until the terrible two's right?

So sure enough the last three days have been spent listening to the angel-boy say "No, no," to everything good and bad for him all the while shaking his head furiously. Oh boy...pass me a cigarette,

I'm kidding. I have the patience of Job since I am all of 31 weeks pregnant, itching, not sleeping and about to topple over. Sorry for the sarcasm. I do pray every morning though that I will have patience that is surely not my own and that will overcome any testy situation the hot days are bringing. I really don't want to miss these precious last few months with our only child. I get emotional every time Brooks looks at me with his pleading blue eyes and reaches his hands up to me. In a few months will I already be holding another little baby and not be able to reach down and pick up my first born? Will he then learn to do everything on his own and slowly start to find little need for me? Somehow my nostalgia surrounding these final months as a family of 3 has done alot for my patience. I am much more tolerant than I would have ever imagined being in this "predicament" with a curious-George around. But like I've said from the very beginning - I don't want to miss ANYTHING. I don't want to miss even the days where it seems like Brooks has the Independence of a 5 year old and the stubbornness of his daddy! I don't want to miss the time we get to talk while I change his inexplicably terrible diapers. I really don't - and I don't even want to miss the period of time where he throws his food on the floor as if he is feeding the ducks at the pond and telling me "no, no" as I try to shove another piece of banana in his mouth. He loves bananas! That's the funny part.....he is so thrilled by his new phrase that he would say no to cotton candy and a pony right now! The boy doesn't know what's best for him that's for sure......

The rascal is laying in his bed playing with a blanket as I type and all I can hear is his favorite new seemingly meaningless word being repeated over and over and over and over and over again. I think I'll get my camera and try to record it so that I can "enjoy" even this little phase. I am sure it will be funny one day when he is really telling me no and then trying to hit me. Oh goodness, what am I in for with two of these fellas?

Not kidding

If fishing two miniature chocolate covered peanut butter cups out of the Moose Tracks ice-cream at 7:37 AM is wrong. I don't ever want to be right! Are you with me?

Stay-cation

Brooks and I have taken an impromptu leave of absence for a few days to grandma-Nise's house. The activities have included trips to the pond to feed the ducks, long baths, a trip to the grocery store to buy things I normally don't buy at home, walks around the neighborhood during sunset, a trip to the pool (later today), being treated to good food, and, a sewing lesson or two. That's right - the theme of this stay-cation is "teach my mama to sew." Really, I am sure I could have figured out how to sew a button but when mama asked if I wanted to come over to learn to sew buttons on the 10 outfits of Brooks that have lost buttons - I took her up on it {knowing that would mean I would watch and she would sew.} It's not that I can't sew - it just doesn't interest me the way counting bottle caps, watching paint dry or other more interesting activities do.

So last night we {she} sewed buttons and {I} ate ice cream and that is what I call a pretty relaxing vacation. Brooks got his back rubbed for nearly 30 minutes before bed and I am sure that is what he calls a vacation, too!

I decided yesterday I wouldn't feel guilty about my lack of anything to do for the next several weeks. Of course there are things to do to prepare for this baby but the nesting instinct is far far away this time but I am sure it will come kicking and screaming in a few weeks and then I will busy myself. For today, Brooks and I are going to enjoy each other and the weather and a pool and our last few months of eating for two and any attention anyone wants to give us. And if the only thing we had to do that day is walk to the mailbox - I am not going to feel bad! Thank you, God, for the monotony of a lazy summer day. I feel like I am home from college for the summer but come August I have to get back to the studying - aka; 12 diaper a day, 10 feedings a day routine!

I've even turned the ringer on the phone off for our time away and it sure does help us to feel like we are on island time! Cheers to the laziest summer I can have with a one year old around!!!

Catch up

Happy first Monday in June. Where did May go? And while we're at it, where has 2010 gone? Sometimes this seems like the longest year of my life because we have already lived in two places and Brad has had two jobs and we are thinking about two babies. All of that shouldn't have been able to happen in the span of 5 months but it has and I know one day I will think that it has made us stronger but for now - it has just made us tired and longing for stability and normalcy. I say that not even really knowing what "normal" is anymore and hoping I can just keep embracing the new normal that seems to come each day.

Last night I had a good much needed cry as we crept into our clean sheets (thanks to my amazing mother-in-law) after a long weekend in Charleston. One of my very best friends was married this weekend in the perfect setting in our favorite city. Ever since she boldly asked me to be in her wedding several months ago (knowing I would be way-pregnant and HUGE) I have had this mental date to get to. Up until this weekend, mentally, we were a family of 3, living in Atlanta, slowly adjusting to life with a baby. But I've known in the back of my head that after this wonderful weekend - another baby would join our family very soon. Honestly, I haven't really emotionally accepted this prior to the weekend. I don't know how I do that - block things like babies and such out of my head as if it isn't real? It's a terribly dangerous skill. So as I crawled into bed last night I knew today would be different and the lingering "change" that is so evident to everyone who sees my stomach would soon be very evident to me... and thus, I needed a good cry.

I've been very honest on this blog about this pregnancy. I am often ashamed that I would have such hesitation regarding this new life but I also know that this is me - this is where I am and it is much healthier for me to acknowledge my fear then to paint a peachy picture full of belly photo shots and nursery updates and baby shower joy to those who know me best.

The reason I am able to be so raw with myself is because ultimately, I do fully trust the Lord's plans for me with all of my heart. I can openly say I wouldn't have planned the last two years this way and I can honestly admit that I am not ready for another person to be in our family but I also know that despite my confidence in the plans before us - I know they have been planned and thought about by someone far more capable of knowing what is really best for me and our family. And as I experienced with Brooks, the moment this new person enters the world I know my heart will stretch and grow to have plenty of room to love yet another baby boy. But until then bear with me - there may be a few shaky days as the mid-August due date fast approaches and I release my fingers from my grip of control.

The bride's dad was so cute this weekend. He was jovial and proud as any father of the bride would be. He was telling us a funny story of how he replied to his daughter when she was in the 2nd grade and asked about where babies come from. He says he wondered why he always got these questions when his wife was away and then gave his best answer to a then 8 year old. "You see, when a man is following God and he is looking at Him for all of his needs then he'll meet a woman and when she is doing the same thing - looking up - then they will get married. When they are both looking to God for everything in their life then they start to grow closer and closer to each other and the love between them grows so big that one day another person has to come along to take all of the extra love that is spilling over. That is where a baby comes from and we'll leave it at that," he concluded. And for many years that is where my friend knew babies came from. Pretty good explanation I think.

It was interesting. I sat and thought - goodness, I wish that was my story and I wish I had the confidence to tell my inquisitive 2nd grader that same story. My story seems to allow babies to enter the world without much thought or planning or even trying! But really, the good news is - I do know, deep down, that that is my story. I know that God knows that these two precious boys are supposed to be given to us....no one else but us. I know He has found me suitable to raise these two boys to be His warriors on earth. I know that He knows that I will mess up and I will cry and I will get really frustrated and tired and at times like last night - I will even wonder what He may have been thinking to have chosen me? Amid all of that - I do know that this story is the Lord's plan for me and for Brad. I can easily say that this is the season where I feel most out of control in my life. And though I am very scared of the changes that are about to occur - mainly because I didn't plan them - I also know that when I am out of control God is in control and He knows my fears, too.

Anyway.....I have no more mental time lines to hurdle before this baby. Now it is just the logistical obstacles that I actually enjoyed conquering the first go round. Where will this baby sleep? What can I stroll him in daily so we can get out of the house? What will I do with him and another still-very-young-baby roaming around the house? I trust that the extra love that is spilling over between Brad and i will be enough to take care of these and many other details along with this new person. All I am called to do is love this new baby more than myself - the clothes and the stroller and the cute baby crib are just extras. This thought last night was enough to quiet my tears and eventually allow me to get to sleep. Thank you, God, for your assurance even at the most unusual times.
*****
Last week was a whirlwind around here as we prepared for our first getaway together in several months. More so, my mind was completely not present as we were saddened with the news of a very dear friend who suffered a stroke at a very young age last week. I am so thankful that our friend is expected to fully recover but we know it will be a long journey for him and his wife who is so precious to me and our family. Please keep my friend and her husband on the top of your prayer list for these next several weeks. I truly believe the power of many many people praying over this sweet couple last week is what has lifted them to a more stable place with an optimistic outlook for their future. I am humbled to be a part of this journey with my friends as we get to see the Lord at work to heal our friend and to bring a marriage and a community very close. Thank you for your prayers and for believing that God is present and alive even in the most unlikely and unwelcoming circumstances.
*****
Our Memorial Day was spent picnicking with friends and lounging by the pool - or several pools! Here is Brooks and Molly Anne with their older friend, Sutton, learning how to be a big kid! I just love watching these kiddos grow up!

This weekend was spent sleeping in - or not necessarily sleeping late but not jumping out of bed to rescue a 12 month old from his slumber! We also walked over the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston several times and enjoyed not pushing a stroller. We walked all over Charleston and enjoyed the Spoleto arts festival and the fun festivities of a wedding of two favorite friends.


Brooks spent the weekend in the care of Grandma and Big Daddy. I am not sure exactly what they did every hour but I can tell you the little man was in heaven. They took him to the air show at the airport and played with him in the yard. They took him to the park in the neighborhood and I am sure he was never left to play alone. I'll admit, the first few days I was very happy to have a break but by yesterday I was so anxious to race home in time to see the little man and squeeze him. We rushed home and the 2nd string of babysitters - my mom -had just put him down. Let's just say he wanted NOTHING to do with me! Literally, he lunged towards my mom and looked as me as if I was a stranger in his house. I am not sure if I am happy that he had a good weekend and grew attached to the grandparents or if I am traumatized that he didn't remember me. Hello, I carried you for 10 months and gave birth to your massive head and I am with you every day - all day...I am your mother! Anyway, I am so glad he had a good weekend and I just hope the grandparents are up for a weekend with TWO grandboys!!!

I am sure Brooks ate lots of yummy cookin from his grandma and Big Daddy! And I am sure he entertained them with the doggy-door.....his latest discovery!

All I know is that he was pooped and this is how we found him after he finally fell asleep last night. He kinda reminds me of the good witch in the Wizard of Oz! I guess a tired baby doesn't care about comfort.

I'd rather a new pair of shoes

In honor of Memorial day I did what the many Americans who were not on a lake or a beach somewhere did - I browsed the sales at the mall. When you are nearly 30 weeks pregnant there is really nothing that you might actually commit to buy because for this larger season of life there is nothing, no invention that can make you feel too much better - with the exception of shoes. When I look at my feet - I don't think I am pregnant. They are the only thing that looks as normal as they did 8 months ago. So I tried on many a pair of summery sandals - atleast if I can't partake in a cute summer strapless dress then I can fancy my feet in some new sandals.

Luckily, my will power won and I walked out from the mall without even a small purchase but I had many images in my head of my cute feet and painted toes on a beach somewhere in a new pair of summer sandals.

That was Monday.

Yesterday, after visions of straps and colors and wedges danced in my head I woke up to chest pain. Thank you, hormones and your compadre - baby Bingo. I've always had funny issues with breathing and all the testing and doctor visits have never amounted to much more than a bunch of prescriptions that I never fill and lots of frustration. I have just learned to live with my shortness of breath over the years and in the meantime I just hope I am never stuck under water for any reason. Well yesterday the pain persisted no matter what position I tried and no matter how much relaxing I attempted. So as every stubborn pregnant lady would do I finally called the doctors line at the OB office - after hours. It wouldn't have been as much fun to just call the office when they were open. So a phone call later and lots of pleading with my sweet husband to let me be and not force me to do as I was told and go to the ER - he won and I found myself for the first time driving to the ER. I bargained with my grueling caretaker by saying I would only go IF I got to go alone and I promised I would call at any mention of something more serious than just another complication caused by the growing person in my belly. I almost turned and went to Nordstrom to just buy the pair of shoes that had taken over my thoughts for nearly a day but I knew Brad would be very unhappy with me and so for once, I did just as I was told. I'll admit - I was quite frightened on my drive over....not because my heart was being pierced with a knife every time I inhaled but because I had never been to the ER and all I knew of it was from Grey's Anatomy and the long gone show - ER.

The Northside hospital ER is not at all like the real ER on tv.

There was no screaming or rushing or doctors kissing in the elevator. Actually I only saw one doctor and she was in jeans and a turtle neck - no white coat here. No one rushed me through the doors to hook me up to any machines - they just asked me to take my seat and wait for my name to be called. At this point I decided I liked the ER. The waiting area was surprisingly clean and the Office was on the tv above my head. There were only a few other people sitting in the area just sipping on Starbucks. I think I could make this a regular Tuesday night occasion!

Not too many minutes passed before my name was called by a normal looking nurse. She asked me lots of questions and for the first time in awhile I felt interesting. Yes, I have a baby at home and one on the way and no, neither were planned. This nurse was dying for children and I actually felt like she was a little envious of me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to cause envy and I do pray that this sweet nurse is blessed with kiddos very soon but rarely is there a time that I meet a woman that is envious of my "predicament." {I'm kidding. I don't really think this is predicament, folks, I know it is a blessing but I like to call it my predicament. Just had to clarify....} I think I was beaming as I spoke of my family back at home who was anxiously awaiting news of my diagnosis (or fast asleep on the couch but I like to think they were on pins and needles.}

Anyway, I was then walked to a room and given the standard hospital gown. Aside from this one small detail as I think hospital gowns just stink like old old ladies that have lived in the same house for 40 years and never cleaned out their drawers - I liked the rest of my set up. I was able to watch a little tv in peace. No one really bothered me that often and when they did they were entirely focused on me and my sharp pains in my chest. Had I not the reminder of where I was coming from the stench of the gown - I would have thought Brad had sent me to the spa. I was hand delivered a Sprite with my favorite kind of ice. The PA wasn't that bad looking and though I know I was one of 50 rooms - he made me think I was the only one in the ER that night. The nurses all wanted to comment on my necklace and my pretty-pregnancy hair. I tell you ......the ER is the place to go if you want to feel better about yourself or your predicament!

Several hours later I was diagnosed with the worst possible scenario. Severe acid-reflux that would not alleviate itself until delivery. Sweet! Don't get me wrong, I could have been suffering a heart attack as the neurotic doctor on the phone earlier in the day first concluded but instead I had spent 3 hours in the ER and a few hundred dollars just to hear that my palate is too spicy for my body to handle and I'd need to cut back on the chips and salsa! I am royally embarrassed and a little bummed that my toes probably won't look cute in those sandals this weekend in Charleston because I blew any money we didn't already have by hanging out at the ER - aka the spa on a Tuesday night!

Dear sweet growing baby in my belly,
I love that you are always reminding me that you are happy in there. Never is there a moment without your foot or elbow digging into my side. I know you think this place is your home and for a little while longer you can stay but it is not your home - it is mine and I can't wait for you to come out into your real home and give me back my body! I love salsa and spicy food and you don't'! You have so kindly pushed my esophagus so far out of it's normal place that any drop of acid leaks into the wrong places and I feel it for days. Can we compromise? No more lemonade, salsa, or pizza for me and please, dear one, no more reminding me of the strength of your little legs in the middle of the night. We only have 10 more weeks of sharing spaces and I really think we can make this work and enjoy the last few months together if we can just get along. Please consider. I love you all the way up to the moon - even if you keep me up all night, cause me to itch, have put pressure on my tail bone, cause me not to breathe during the day, have given me stretch marks and headaches and then kindly caused my hips to spread just so I'll always remember you. I do, I love you. Oh, and just in case you are my competitive child - you're the winner! I had NONE of these symptoms with your older brother and I don't think any less of him. Love you baby!

Love,
Mama