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First of all, I love my MAC puter. I just love how delicately my fingers touch the right key and the little sound that it makes is truly one of the most soothing sounds I can recall. And when my fingers fly across the MAC keyboard without hesitation I know there are good things in my heart and good things to write down. So Ill tell you good things.

Amos is laying next to me asleep. I am taking this as a good thing right now because it has been a long day for us both and he seems at peace. Now 11 minutes ago I was looking up dog psychologists on the Internet to assess his quietness and slight shyness. I can promise you this....this whole experience for us is just going to be one funny story after another. I sure hope we are successful in showing Amos how loved he is but also establishing the fact that we are the "alpha" as my book on Wheatens suggest. So far so good with that - seeing that Amos was literally scared of his own shadow today when I took him out to see the city. He doesn't like the city yet but it ill grow on him I just know it. He'll be wanting a Range Rover and a Lacoste collar before you know it.....

George left this week. He just packed his bags, decided it was time and was gone before Brad and I had a chance to thank him for his stay even though unpleasant. You know when things end you realize it was never as bad as you thought it was when you were in it....not that that is true but it seems that what is behind you is certainly doable if you are now in front of it. Did I lose you? Bottom line, for the sleepless nights and days with knots in my stomach for several months - it really wasnt worth all that hooplah that I created. I am just happy to be on the other side and ready to see the new direction God is taking me. He is literally taking me there one step at a time. If I ever knew more how loved I was it has been through this little episode with Mr. George. God has consistently reminded me through random interactions with strangers and coworkers and especially through my sweet Brad that I am enough. Sometimes it takes Brad squeezing my cheeks and staring me in the eye proclaiming for the Umpteenth time that "You are worth it. Betsy, you are worth it and God proved that to you before you were even born through His son." "Oh yeah," I say. "I forgot." How could I forget or not allow this depth of love to resonate with me? Why do I continue to think I have to perform or measure up or prove myself? Thank you sweet Brad for your often subtle and sometimes out of necessity - abrupt reminders of God's unfathomable but transforming love for me. So today I just sat. I read. I thought. I sat some more but altogether I was just grateful for George. I am grateful that He challenged me to remember God's love and that He reminded me I couldnt earn anything and I am grateful for the experience overall. I know sometime down the road I may have a clue why George dropped in for our first 5 months of marriage but until then I am fine just knowing He is gone and He was supposed to go. I am happy.

Tomorrow I will take a dance class because they are free this week (www.dance101.org) and I am free this week too! What a better thing to do then to play with Amos and tell him over and over how loved he is (even when he messes in the house, right? I mean I don't blame him....he has to go down 3 flights to make it to a safe place to relieve himself) and then I will dance. I may even take 2 or 3 classes tomorrow just to get it all out. Tap, jazz, street funk, hip hop...maybe even ballet! I feel great!