The perfect picture

Oh how I wish you could have been atop a tree on Sunday at the park in Brookhaven just witnessing the Lord dance around Brad and I! Literally, He was just dancing and singing and twirling out of anticipation for the conversation that would ensue and the walls that would be shattered.
Brad and I took off for the park around 2pm on Sunday with Doctor Amos. We are not experienced dog owners yet so we brought all the supplies we wouldn't use and nothing we would need. Amos' coat is pretty long now too so we just couldn't figure out why he kept leaving our blanket laid ablaze the hot sun to find shade under a huge tree 50 feet away. "I am so stinkin hot, guys," Amos was saying to us. No worries, we felt badly after the 3+ hour adventure and showed him oodles of love that night.

Anyway, God set it all up. Every possible thing had then blossomed outside which is perfect for mine and Brad's eyes but miserable for our noses! But that didn't stop us from sweltering in the 78 degree sun and more so, sweltering under the desire to just get on the same "island" as Brad so calls it. So after several hours of silence and the burden of a heavy heart something broke in both of us and there was nothing we could do but sit longer in the burning sun and break down the walls we had put up over the last few weeks. I am being extremely open on these pages because I know I am supposed to. There is only so much good that can come from reading about Amos' latest trick everyday. God is big in our lives and in our marriage and that is worth reading.

Ultimately we agreed that the darkness we had each been feeling was due to this concept of "enough"......Brad not feeling like he has enough to be the husband he thinks he should be and me not feeling enough for anything. It was so beautiful to recognize this hideous lie that Satan had been feeding to us over and over. What is most beautiful though is the way God confirmed in our conversation that, yes, we aren't enough but He is. Yes, we don't have it all together, especially after 6 short months of marriage....I don't possibly have enough of anything to please everyone throughout the day and then be a model wife at night. I can barely keep up with the date better yet the birthday cards to friends and the so-called wifely concerns at home. And though Brad does a pretty flawless job working full time, schooling full time, parenting Amos in the downtime and being a picture perfect husband...he, too, is broken at the core just like me. Just like you. But how sweet are those times when God shows up soo big to remind us that He is sufficient for everything because we are not. ANd certainly, Sunday, was one of those times. For the faint of heart, turn away but the picture Sunday which sticks in my mind is Brad and I sitting indian-style, facing eachother as Brad wiped away the heavy tears from underneath my sunglasses. Oh, and I must add, all the while his arms were getting more pink, then more red until he couldn't bend them at the elbow from the pain. See, proof enough, I surely don't have enough "know how" to even take care of him! Ha!
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That night we had dinner with some friends soon to be wed. We didn't offer much advise. We just listened and asked questions about their growing excitement. We told them to be selfish with their time because so many things want to fill up the time slots but the most important thing is their time together. And we told them that Satan is ready to attack. Marriage is such a sacred institution and has the ability to do so much good for the Kingdom of God because it truly is the closest image of God's love for us that we can experience on earth. But because of that power Satan is ready to pounce. He is ready to destroy and feed us lies. We are so thankful for this process of sanctification and redemption. We are not so thankful for the sunburns and racoon eyes but it is worth it. What a breath of fresh air this weekend.......