On Hold

There will be nothing earth shattering about this post to many of you. In fact, even if you have yet to have children of your own you probably have experienced even more so the holding pattern that has become the life of your friends with kids. I used to think that this trait was a "choice" rather than a given and in that case I was going to certainly not put the rest of the world and the rest of my life on hold while I was occupied raising babies. And though I went into a little cocoon for a very short while when the oldest was born I don't think it lasted longer than 2 weeks and as I had hoped it didn't stop me from doing much that I wanted to do. With one fairly portable little man - he was just a cute accessory to my already pretty fashionable life. I had definitely had my days that seemed like revolved around no one else but the baby but trust me, I didn't lose any sleep over it and I made up for any loss of activity the next day.

Now that we have added another child to the tax return my perspective has done an about face....completely. I honestly can't list one thing except for the boys that seems to be growing, getting bigger or more advanced, or changing so quickly. Everything...I mean every thing is on hold for these short years and not at all by choice but by design.

Brad and I have made attempt after attempt to stick to a budget. This January we've done better than ever before but seriously, the last thing on my mind in these days is our net worth at the end of the day. This drives Brad crazy so luckily he is left to worry and dream about this but for me - the budget is on hold.

What about personal maintenance? Oh y'all.. I know I should because it is good for me but I can't remember the last time I cut my hair or swallowed a vitamin! I force myself to drink water all day hoping that it will wash away all of my bad habits and lack of personal maintenance. I have two gift certificates for a manicure and pedicure and I think about them every single day. When the stars align I vow to actually cash in on these sweet gifts but for now my toes remain colorless and my nails have yet to grow the way a real lady would approve. One of these days......

Those are just a few examples but in lieu of sounding cynical or negative I'll end with a list. Dear items on my list, I know I'll get back to you one day soon and I promise it wasn't because of lack of desire that I have had to leave you on the side for awhile. For now, there just isn't much more of me to give but I know these babies won't be babies forever so I am okay having to wait awhile to get back to "me."
*house decor
*pilates license
*organizing my closet
*joining a couples small group again
*Christmas thank you notes! (embarrassing! And this is from the queen of thank you notes!)
*dear friendships (Luckily my dearest peeps understand this)
*Girls trips
*travel
*A real exercise routine
*A truly clean car
*A list of books dying to be read not having to do with growth spurts and sleep disorders!
*Emails from friends asking for favors rather small or large
*Party planning
*Saving
*Purchasing nice furniture
*redoing our bedroom to feel more inviting
*buying a home
*keeping up with birthday's and sending cards the way I used to
*learning about new music.....Brad and I share a love for this but sadly the last concert we attended was 3 years ago!
*going to the movies
*really finding a new church home (though this is a priority)
*cleaning out my sock drawer and donating all unused items in our house to a ministry
*getting involved with high school ministry again
*sleeping through the night
*reading a few Psalms and a Proverb a day (I've started this 3 times now)
*yes, putting my WEDDING pictures into albums and having a few pictures framed
*not kidding, ORDERING birth certificates for my two children (I had to confess this)
*weekly date nights
*and of course, writing daily the way I would like

But....as I've said, I know these days are long but the years are short and soon enough I'll get back to my unfinished projects and I'll be wishing I was cleaning up cars from the corner and wiping spit up off the couch. Thanks for giving me a few years off, sweet friends!